A Real Conversation With My Dear Husband-Session #2

Place: Provo
Time: 11 pm last Saturday night
Doing: Me driving home from the grocery store.

Phone: Bring! Bring! Bring!
Me: Hello
Marcelo: Are you close to getting home?
Me: Yes, I'm just passing the Marriott Center. I'll be home in a few minutes. . . . Some other mindless banter about what I bought at the grocery store. . . .
Marcelo:(after this banter, some minutes later). So hurry up and get home. The dog puked on the carpet.
Me: WHAT!! Why didn't you tell me that 3 minutes ago? Did you clean it up?
Marcelo: What did you give her? It looks brown.
Me: Well her food is brown. And when she eats it it changes color and shape. Does it look like her food
Marcelo: Oh yeah, I guess it does. So are you getting home soon?
Me: CLEAN IT UP!!! Get it off the carpet before it soaks in!
Marcelo: I mean, what did you feed her? I told you and told you not to feed her table food. And now she did and she threw up.
Me: Are you cleaning it up?
Marcelo: NO!!
Me: Why are you yelling at me right now! Please clean it up before it soaks in and stains the carpet. PLEASE?
Marcelo: Well, you need to learn not to feed her any food other than her dog food!
Me: (SEETHING AT THIS POINT) PLEASE JUST CLEAN IT UP!! Yelling at me right now isn't going to clean the puke up! Can you just clean it up and then from now on I promise she won't get any more food from me! JUST GET IT OFF THE CARPET!!
Marcelo: [Silence]
Me: Hello? . . . . Hello? . . . . Hello? (looking at phone for 30 seconds, seeing that he hasn't hung up yet, but that he's not answering.) HELLO? (Me finally hanging up)

Oh, by the way, when I got home, he had totally cleaned up the puke! YESSSSS!!