Photo Shoot

My friend and neighbor Amy started a photo business. She is really good, and she gave us a free photo shoot to build up her portfolio. Sebastian was just a week or so old, so he wasn't so happy about some of the positions he had to go into. But they turned out pretty good, right?





























































And of course, Bibi couldn't let the spotlight be taken from her for a second. She jumped in while I was feeding the baby. For the fact that I didn't do her hair or pick out cute clothes or even take the gum out of her mouth, I think she looks amazing.



You don't have to agree with me. But you can if you want!

(If you want Amy to take awesome pictures for you, go to her website: http://amymonroyphotography.blogspot.com)

The New Baby

Sorry this took so long. I stopped having excuses about a week ago, and then I was just stalling. I don't know why I kept putting it off. I guess I was afraid and i didn't want people to know how weak I am. (Lame, I know) But I need to just get over myself and do it.

And I really want to get back in the habit of blogging. Not like anyone cares about blogs anymore, what with the Twitter and the Facebook and the texting. But I enjoy reading the blogs of others, so I figure SOMEONE might read this. So here it goes.

It is official: I have a son. His arrival was at the perfect time, yet didn't go quite as I had hoped.
Here's what happened:

Wednesday morning September 14th, (My official due date) I woke up to find that my baby had dropped. I knew it had dropped, because when I put my hand high up on my belly, he was missing! The hard bump of his bum that was usually right under my sternum was noticeably lower. When Marcelo came home, I asked him if he agreed. He asked me to turn to the side and said, “OH YEAH!! You are much lower! Holy crap, how did that happen?” I told him: “Magic!” So things were progressing towards a delivery, I was sure.

Thursday afternoon, I started to feel weird. I don't know when I started noticing my braxton hicks contractions more, but I did. And they just felt weird. I kind of felt nauseated and sweaty and just off. And I was pretty sure the baby was coming. Around 4 in the afternoon, I sent a text to my mom saying that I was feeling different, and that she should probably clear her schedule for the next day or two. She was thrilled because she had just finished her last class for the weekend and could spend all her time with me now!

Nothing big happened that night. I had more contractions, and was 100% sure the baby would be arriving in the next 24 hours. And so what did Marcelo do? He went to a soccer game. (with my blessing, of course) If you will remember from the birth of our FIRST child, he did exactly the same thing. Except the first time I was actually in the hospital being induced when he went to his game. AGAIN, I must stress that I fully 100% gave him my blessing to go to those games. Both times. I mean, I told him to keep his phone close to him, but I knew that even if things moved very quickly, I would at least have an hour of notice to give him to get to the hospital. And since his games are only about 15 minutes away, I knew we would be fine.

He told me that I should ask my mom to come over and stay with us just in case something happened while he was at his game. I was way ahead of him (and so was my mom for that matter). She came over and was making a little camp for herself on the couch. I told her that I didn’t think anything would be happening in the night but she was welcome to stay and sleep on our couch if she wanted.

She wanted.

By the time I went to bed, I knew that I was in labor. Contractions were coming at semi-regular intervals, but not really close together. And they were getting stronger, more uncomfortable. I was happy that my suspicions were correct and I was seriously jazzed to have this baby.

I actually got to sleep, even with the contractions. I put down a towel because I was kind of afraid of my water breaking all over our bed and us having to buy a new mattress. We could NOT afford that. It didn’t happen, though. I did, however, get awakened several times in the night by the need to pee/contractions. I mean, the fact that I could sleep at all was awesome to me, and I was even more pumped for the baby and the labor because I felt like I was well rested and ready. I was in great spirits.

So when the day finally got started, my mom and I made a game plan. Marcelo had to run to work up in Lindon for a few hours to finish a job and I told him to go, but to keep his phone close and on at all times. I could tell that this baby was still at least 6 hours away, so I didn’t feel badly about him going. Plus, the hospital is less than 10 min from Lindon, so he could make it there quick if he needed.

I told mom that I would love to run some errands. She had some things to do, and eventually we needed to drop Evi off at her my brother’s house so that she could be babysat during the birth. So that is what we did! We went to Kmart because I needed to buy some toilet paper, and we went to Comcast because we both needed to change out some equipment. We then went and vacuumed out my car while we waited for Costco to open. And then we went to Costco for other assorted essentials. Yup, all that while I was in labor. I was really hoping that my water would break at some time with all the bending and walking and carrying of Evi and lifting of things into my car. But no luck.

Contractions were definitely progressing. But at the same time, they weren’t. At some time around 11, we decided to use a stopwatch to time them. They were about 3 or 5 min apart and lasting 45 seconds or so. But when I would sit down in the car, they would go away for 7 or 10 min. So they weren’t consistently on schedule and that upset me because I wasn't as close as I wanted to be before I checked into the hospital. But we finally dropped Bibi off and headed to the hospital around 11:45.

I got strapped into the monitor and then the nurse came to check my progress to see how dilated I was. Which was horrifically painful. She was like digging inside and rubbing her fingers back and forth horizontally and I was laughing because it was so painful. And when she left I told my mom what she did and my mom said “She was trying to break your water” which then made total sense. Because SERIOUSLY, she was working hard up there. I was happy to learn that I was at a 5. At least it wasn't a 3, right? So I was pumped. Because last time it only took a few hours to get from a 5 to a 10, and I was sure that this was happening soon.

I called Marcelo and told him the progress, and told him to come down to the hospital. He said he was on his way (which, actually meant he would get there 2 and a half hours later, after he got lunch. The punk.) I got a room and got ready to have a baby naturally! My sister in law had let me borrow her exercise ball (to be used as a birthing ball) and I was excited for that. My doctor told me that he was really busy that day so he was going to go deliver a baby by C-section, and then he would come back and break my water.

I was actually excited for my water to be broken, I was SURE things would be moving FAST after that. The last time my water was broken it was about 2 hours till I had a baby. As I waited for him to come back, I walked around and was able to breathe and relax during the contractions. I was feeling really good and really happy and just pumped.

The doctor came in and broke my water and told me that my baby was not low at all and that there was meconium in the water. And that was my first clue that things might not be happening the way I had planned. The meconium really worried me (for those who don’t know, meconium is when the baby goes poop for the first time in utero. It isn’t to serious, unless the baby breathes in that poop water with his first breaths. Then he can get an infection). Like I said, the news about meconium really upset me, but something worried me more: the fact that the baby wasn’t low. His head wasn't pushed up against my cervix yet, and I knew labor wouldn’t progress quickly and the most efficiently unless that baby’s head was pushing down it.

The doctor suggested an “amnio –infusion” which is a fancy way to say “uterus transmission flush”. They put a tube up inside your uterus and try to flush out that poo water. This will minimize the risk of poo inhalation. This made me feel more comfortable. But what took my worry up to another level was when the nurse said “wow, that tube went in without any problem. That baby really is high.” AAAAAAAGGHHHHH!!

The best part of the amnio-infusion is that you get to feel like your water is breaking over and over again. The worst part is that you have to wear a towel diaper or you will be gushing fluid out everywhere. And if you decide to stand up to endure some contractions (and hopefully convince your baby to drop down) you will gush on the floor. It’s like peeing your pants with every contraction. Highly recommended.

So I settled in for my labor. I was doing pretty good, if I do say so. I mean, I was focusing on one place when the contractions came. Mom was rubbing my back providing good counter pressure. It was all good. And then the DR came in and decided to check me. Hours had gone by, I was sure I was progressing well. But I wasn't. I was only a 6. Maybe close to a 7, but not more than that. I was upset, but understanding.

It was around this time that the Dr said that he didn’t like how the baby was reacting during contractions. He wanted to do an internal monitor (stuck to the baby’s head) so they could really see how the baby was reacting with each contraction. So I got that. (with another tube/wire going up inside. AWESOME) Another hour passes. It was a rough hour. I get checked again. I am just barely at a 7. I am upset.

The Doctor says that shortly he wants to start pitocin. Because of the way the baby is reacting to the contractions and because of the meconium. He wants the contractions DOUBLE strength from what they are now so the baby will really start moving down. You should know that at this point I was in despair. I had tried almost every position. The kneeling, the ball, standing, sitting, everything. The nurse lady actually made my bed into like a little chair and when I was sitting and a contraction came, Marcelo would push back on my knees which provided some counter pressure and was actually nice. For about 20 min. Then I had to try something new. I was starting to freak out.

At around 3:45 the Doctor comes in and checks me again and I am still a 7, no progression. I lost it. (actually, I am having a hard time writing this right now, because I am still so upset about everything that happened from this point on) The doctor REALLY REALLY didn’t like how the baby was reacting, and he wanted pitocin in within the next 20 min. I (for some reason) said to myself that if I had pitocin, I HAD to have the epidural. I don’t know why I did that. Looking back, I wish I hadn’t said that. I wish I would’ve held out for a little while with just the pitocin. Especially considering how fast things happened after that.

I think that is why telling this story is so hard. I feel like such a failure, like I gave up too soon. AND PLEASE DON’T SAY THAT ANY WAY A BABY GETS HERE IS FINE! I agree, my baby is here, healthy and great. But I am still super disappointed in myself and how quickly I gave up. I am allowed to feel disappointed that it didn’t happen how I wanted! I mean, if you spent 9 months training for a marathon and then walked away at mile 23, wouldn't you feel upset with yourself? That's how I look back at this, and it is incredibly sad for me.

Anyway, the anesthesiologist was called. My contractions were about every 45 to 90 seconds apart at that time, so placing it was going to be tricky. But the Dr. was amazingly fast! He did it between contractions and was just so nice to me as I was writhing on the bed. (Marcelo later told me that he couldn’t watch the needle going into my spine. Pansy). After the epidural was in and the pitocin was started I just turned onto my side and cried for the next hour. Again, I was just so disappointed in myself. That was around 4:30 pm, and I was prepared for being there a long time. I know how epidurals slow things down, and I was preparing to wait.

Well, as I lay on my side crying nonstop, things were happening in my belly. Contractions were about one tenth what they were before, but I still felt them. They were still painful, and for some reason, that was slightly comforting. All of a sudden around 5:20 or so, something happened. With the next contraction I had the strongest STRONGEST urge to poop. It was so overwhelming that it made me squirm in bed and wiggle around to fight the sensation. I said, “hey, can you get the nurse and doctor. I think something is happening. RIGHT NOW”

Mom rushes off to find the doctor while Marcelo continues to play Angry Birds. Oh, did I forget to mention that? Yeah, he was consumed with that game during my labor. He put it down when he provided counter pressure for me, but between contractions there was no pulling him from it. And after I had the epidural, there was even less for him to do. There is only so much arm rubbing you can do for your crying wife before both you and she become bored with it.

When the doctor comes in and checks me, he says. “oh you are there! Here we go!” There was another contraction and I told him “I REALLY WANT TO PUSH” and he said, “you can’t yet! I need to get respiratory in here before you deliver. Hold on, just hold on!” That was a rough couple of minutes. But I at least had my wits about me to ask for the mirror to be brought in. (for those of you who freak out at the thought of watching yourself give birth, I must say there is nothing that helped me more. Looking and seeing the effect of my pushes made me want to do those “good” pushes to make something happen. Very effective)

Finally the respiratory doctor arrived and I was told I could push. It was very fast. His head was out before I even knew it ( I did have to get cut just a little bit, but it was much less than last time). However, once his head was out and the doctor told me to stop pushing, I could see that something was wrong. The baby was not the right color. And (with the use of the mirror) I could see the cord wrapped around the neck. I then saw the doctor put his finger under the cord and try to take it off, very unsuccessfully. He actually was jerking on it, and it was not moving. He rushed for some clamps and told me “as soon as I cut this, your baby is holding his breath. Once I cut you have to make the next push be the one to get him out.” I was ready.

He clamped and cut and they rushed the baby to the respiratory doctor. Where he didn’t cry. Which FREAKED ME OUT! Seeing your baby come out blue, and with a chord super tight, being cut out of you and then not hearing him, that was really upsetting. Again, I had my wits about me and I said, “is he ok? Why isn’t he crying” and the doctor (I really do have a great doctor) said “they don’t want him to breathe yet. They want to clear out his mouth and lungs of the meconium before he takes his first breath.” At least they knew what they were doing! It was shortly after that that I heard him cry and he sounded just fine.

I also asked “It is a boy, right?” to which my doctor looked sheepish and said, “I didn’t even look!” But it was shortly confirmed to me that he was a boy. The fact that the doctor didn’t even look at that told me again how rushed they were and how time sensitive everything was. And I was super thankful that I had the strength to push the right way when it was needed.

His initial APGAR was a 3 (later upped to a 4 by the respiratory guy. Not sure why) which again, tells me how bad he was needing to get out. But his 5 min APGAR was a 9, so he recovered quickly.

After the birth, things got a little tricky because I couldn't stop throwing up. It started about 10 minutes before I delivered, and then after the delivery it was was non-stop for a couple of hours. I am pretty sure it was the pitocin that did it to me. Either that or the epidural. Because I didn't feel the need to throw up until I had them. They brought me food, which I ate, and then threw up. They brought me snacks and water which I ate, and then threw up. The nurse kept coming to offer me anti-nausea medicine, but I didn't want it. Finally she told me that she wouldn't take out my IV until I stopped throwing up. Wouldn't you know it? I was convinced. (There is nothing I hate more than that stupid IV). Finally I stopped and I started to feel better. Too bad all the food was gone. Cause I was STARVING!!

So that is it. Looking back, I don't know if it was the epidural/pitocin that made things happen so quickly and effectively. Like maybe I needed those things because of the other complications he had. But it doesn't lessen my chagrin and sadness that I wasn't able to do it the way I had dreamed/planned/hoped/wished.

So now for the good stuff. The pictures!

Here is a slide show movie for you.

And I have lots more, but they are basically all the same. And quite frankly, no one cares that much about someone else's baby. But I will pretend that you do and keep you updated on my beautiful babies.