Poison

I poisoned my family on Thursday. Food poison, that is. I'm pretty sure I know how I did it, and it was 153% my fault. It didn't hit till last night, and it hit all of us within about 2 hours of each other.

See, Marce got it first. And then when it hit me, I said, "I think this is food poisoning". But he responded "no, the baby ate that food too. And she isn't sick". But he spoke too soon! We had a little nighttime vomit episode with her. And so he conceded that yes, it was probably food poisoning.

How did it do it? It involved chicken, forgetting to turn the oven on and then not cooking the crap out of it. I usually cook my chicken for an obscene amount of time just to make sure it is 100% cooked through. But this time, because of the delay in forgetting to turn the oven on, there wasn't time and so I'm pretty sure that is what caused us all to get sick.

Anyway, I won't shock you with the details, but let's just say you know it is food poisoning when it's shooting out BOTH ENDS nearly simultaneously.

We are all eating some dry toast, oatmeal and juice to try to replenish the lost fluids and nutrients. And I feel badly for poisoning my family. As I well should, I think. At least it wasn't a dinner party!

Don't forget to wash your hands people!

Just so you know

Just so you know:

It takes 4 grown adults to hold a 2 and 3/4 year old child down to examine a scratched eye.

And if anything needs to be dropped into this eye to make it glow like a radioactive particle ala the Simpsons, make sure all 4 of your are wearing protective gloves, because she will pinch, and scratch and spit and kick and do everything in her power to get away from you. And it will make you cry. And you haven't cried at the doctors office since you watched her get her first set of shots.

Oh, and if she needs to get anti-bacterial drops in her eyes 3 times a day for a week, make sure that your husband is present for the administration of of those drugs. Because if not, you might have a scratched eye yourself from the fighting.

But you will feel better knowing something is being done about it. Because seriously, when you pried her eye open after hours of crying and saw the VERY VISIBLE scratch that went the whole length of her iris AND pupil you nearly died of fright for the sight of your child.

But seriously, that radioactive stuff they put in her eye glowed neon green in the special black light? That stuff was cool. Made me miss the day-glow fashions of the 80's.