I'm on Vacation!!

I'm officially on vacation. I love being on vacation. Wanna know something? I actually wake up earlier on my vacation days. Like today I was up doing TiVo homework at 6:45 am. I mean, I have to clear my TiVo queue before I go out of town, right? So I HAD to wake up at 6:45 am to get a jump start on things.

It's good though, I really like being able to lay around in my underwear and not be forced to answer any phones. Oh the phones!! I think I hear those phones in my nightmares. But I don't have to answer them for FIVE WHOLE DAYS!! WHOO HOOOO! I'm currently on my couch watching Colbert Report and looking forward taking my dog for a walk. Maybe that will help the swelling in the feet go down

Speaking of swelling feet, I went to my doctor's office yesterday and had a very uncomfortable time. He had me get naked from the waist down and he got a glimpse of my cankles and my pitting edema. (He wasn't concerned when I told him that it goes away every night as I elevate my feet) Anyway, I had to have the bacteria test "DOWN THERE" and that was like a 1 on the scale of un-comfortableness. (I guess maybe the fact that I was naked from the waist down makes it more like a 2). But THEN my doctor checked my cervix. Why didn't anyone tell me how much that would hurt?

Granted, I'm sure that I tightened up the moment he touched me and that made it lots more hurtful. But still!! Holy crap! All that just to learn that my cervix is 100% closed. Actually, I'm quite happy to learn that. That means that I was cleared to go to AZ for my vacation. So I guess that if I had to go through that to get a clear to fly, I would do that again.

Marcelo still gets kinda upset when he knows that people (specifically another man) are sticking their fingers inside me to check things. I think he needs to realize that when I'm in the hospital that act will occur every few hours. And then he needs to realize that everyone is going to get a glimpse of my hooter while I push this baby out. So he needs to get over this really quickly

But the BEST part of the visit to the doctor was when I had to pee in the cup. I hadn't gone pee all morning and so by the time I went to the hospital I was prancing around trying to hold it in. When I finally got into the bathroom, I continued the dancing while I wrote my name and birthday on my cup. (Have you ever tried to write your name on a cup that already has pee on it? You only make that mistake once)

So I FINALLY get to pee in the cup and as I'm looking down, I see something strange on the floor. It looks like someone has spilled something on the floor. I wonder who would've brought a drink into the bathroom, and who would've had it so close to the toilet. And then I realize that it's PEE!!! Someone (maybe more than one person, considering the splash pattern on the floor) has missed the bowl entirely and has peed on the floor.

ORRRRR maybe as they were pulling the cup out from under them they spilled. I think that might be worse because it probably got on their hand in the process and who knows what they touched before they washed their hands again. Needless to say, there was a good amount of dried urine on the floor. I just stared at it, considered it, and laughed.

And then I went out and got weighed, and I wasn't laughing anymore. I actually don't know what my current weight is, because I choose not to look at the scale. I know it's big, but just how big? I don't know. I'll just keep not looking until they tell me that I've broken the scale and they now have to weigh me at the zoo on the elephant scale.

Also, we all met Jake's girlfriend Clarin. She seems nice. I mean, she's kinda got that "savior" mentality. I think that she's trying to be Jake's rescuer/mother and help him get back on track. I think that's all well and good, but you can't make someone change just because you want it. Anyway, she's 21 (Jake just turned 19 a week ago) and she's going to the Bon Losee hair school. I think that she's a nice enough girl.

But. . . . . (you knew there was a but) she has jacked up teeth. Apparently my family is a TEETH family. Judd will remember that was the first comment I made about Renfijo when I learned she was Judd's previous companion. And Nate and Julie had met Clarin before my mom did and they BOTH mentioned the teeth. Why is that? What is our problem? I mean, it's not like we were born with great teeth? We all have them after many painful and expensive years of braces.

And it's not like we can't see past that. I mean I married a guy that CLEARLY doesn't have perfect teeth. (I think now would be a good time to talk about the fact that I basically married the opposite of what I always was attracted to and thought that I would marry. DISCUSS) Anyway, apparently that's the first thing we see. But usually the problem has to be BAD and very noticeable. If it's just a little problem, I easily forget about it when I think about the person.

The thing that really threw me off were the fake nails. I think it says something about a woman that has fake nails and routinely must get them "FILLED". I don't know, I just don't really like the look of fake nails and the women who have them, and I think it says something about them. What is that "something" that it says? I don't know, but that "something" puts me off and I am wary of those girls. What does that say about me? I'm a horrible horrible person. It's ok, you can say it.

I need to go now and eat some breakfast. All I've had to eat today is some Toaster Strudel and a piece of pumpkin pie with cool whip. It was lovely, but not enough. It might be time for some "quality control" Totino's pizza.

I'M ON VACATION!!!

Quality Assured

I primarily eat junk food these days. Well, that's not 100% true. My diet consists of eggs, toast and several bowls of cereal throughout the day. I'll usually make Marcelo a totally separate dinner because when I get home at 5:30 I'm starving and I'll wolf down two bowls of Cheerios. (Cheerios are currently my cereal of choice. Before it was Rice Krispies, and before that it was Corn Flakes. I don't do those sugar cereals. They give me acid) So by the time I roll around to making him dinner at 6:30 or 8:45 (or 10:00 pm like last night) I'm not hungry any more.

That's not my point. My point is that in the last 2 days I've made some crappy food choices. I haven't hit a fast food drive through in probably 6 weeks, so I'm doing better there. But I still can buy crap at the grocery store. Like yesterday I bought a box of donuts and a bag of generic cheese balls. I finished off that bag of cheese balls today. It was lunch. Isn't that disgusting? And then for dinner, I had one of those 99 cent Totino's pizzas.

And that's what my blog is about. Quality. This is the picture that was on my pizza box: What do you think about it? I think I should've been scared when some "food substance" has to ASSURE me of it's quality. First, they don't think that I can discern what is good quality and what isn't? (Actually, they make a good point: The fact that I'm eating $1 pizza might say that I lack some food judgment)

Secondly, the word ASSURED is like one of those purposefully deceitful words. Like the pizza is saying "I swear this won't give you the runs in 8 hours! Trust me!! I'm delicious! Look, the word assured is right there!! You can count on me for a good food experience!!"

However, I am a sucker when it comes to pizza. And here is why: I really haven't had it too much in the past 8 and a half months. The first few months of my pregnancy I suffered from a little lactose intolerance, so I tried to cut out all cheese and milk. So pizza was out. That was sad. And then I just didn't want it. I more craved fries and cereal and salad. I know, weird combo right?

Anyway, recently I tried pizza again and realized that there is a reason I've been avoiding it: my body gets HORRIBLE acid reflux from the tomato sauce. We are talking 2 am being awoken by my whole neck and chest on fire from the inside out. I stumble downstairs and chew up 2 Tums and swallow them quickly so they'll start to work instantly. And then I suck on a third one whilst walking back to bed in a half dead state. To avoid this I have to have pizza with white sauce or eat it at least 6 hours before I go to bet to let the pizza work its way down.

But it's not just pizza, it's all tomato products. I don't like spaghetti with marinara sauce, and I can't eat tomato soup. You should know that before this I was a tomato freak. I hope it comes back after the baby is gone. I will be so sad if I can't stand them after this. Like I said I am a sucker for tomatoes and pizza.

Oh!! Lynn! Remember when I ate pizza like 10 times in those two weeks Marcelo was in Ecuador without me?

TANGENT: Many of you might be asking, "why did Marcelo go to Ecuador without you?" Oh, that's a good story. Here's how it went:

Jean: You can't go on vacation in August. If you want to take two weeks in May, I'll let you go for two whole weeks in May.
Me: No, I need to go in August. All his family will be there. That's when the trip has been planned for more than a year.
Jean: You can't go in August for two whole weeks. I'll only give you 10 days. I can't give you the two full weeks in a row.
Me: Your vacation policy says that I get two weeks. I want to take them together. The policy doesn't say anything about not being able to take all my time at once
Jean: Well, I'll change the policy then.
Me: I don't know what I'm going to do. . .
Jean: Well you can go, but you won't have a job waiting for you when you get back.
Me: You would fire me for taking my vacation when I wanted?
Jean: Absolutely.

And then Jean proceeded to go to every agent in the office and tell them that I walked into her office, and DEMANDED that she give me these days off. She tells them that I said she'd better give me the days off, or I was quitting. I want you to go back and read that conversation. Who threatens WHO with being fired? And then she turns around and says that I was the one that did it!! I guess we aren't surprised, right? Twist the story and make me the enemy, make ME the monster. Typical Miranda Priestly. END OF TANGENT

So when he was gone those two weeks, I slept alone, ate alone, watched lots of TV and ate TONS of pizza. I think I had it about a million times. And it was heavenly. And I came to work and said, "Lynn, what do you think I had to eat for lunch?" and she would say, "Pizza?" and I would say, "YES!!!" and I would relive the experience again in my mind. Good times.

And how does this relate do cheep Totino's pizzas? Because even though they have ASSURED me of their quality, I don't think they use real tomatoes to make their pizza. I think it's a red, salty vegetable based sauce they use between the crispy crust and thin layer of cheese. But I don't think it's technically tomato. So I think that even though I ate one about an hour ago it shouldn't cause any problems tonight. We'll see. I'll let you know. In this case the lack of quality might be to my benefit.

Now, I would like to take some time to state some things I'm thankful to have in my life. I'm thankful for good friends. I have the best friends. Friends that would walk through hell for me. Friends that would drive down from Draper to pick me up or to have lunch with me. Friends that would get a credit card and max it out so they could be at my wedding in Ecuador. Friends that would come pick me up from the airport. (That's how I determine if someone is a good friend: Can I ask them to pick me up or drop me off at the airport? I really only have a few of those people in my life) Friends that would offer to bring me zebra cakes when I'm having a bad day. Friends that back me up and I never have to question their motives or loyalties to me. Like I said, I don't have many of these, but I'm so thankful for the ones I have.

I'm thankful to be pregnant. Reagan says that I'm not a good pregnant person because I don't complain enough. Wanna know a secret? I secretly feel like I should do this pregnancy naturally becuase my pregnancy has been so freaking easy. I mean, what is the worst thing I've dealt with? Nighttime acid maybe only 4 nights and swollen feet? I know how to prevent the acid and if I just walk a little everyday, my feet will go right down. Seriously, I have NOTHING to complain about. Also, why was I so lucky to get pregnant so quickly? I mean, it was like all Marcelo had to do was look at me and I was knocked up. And I never miscarried! I'm actually surprised Marcelo and I weren't pregnant by accident earlier. Turns out the two of us make babies ridiculously easy.

I'm so thankful for the opportunity to be a mother. I think that it's so sad that some people choose money or possessions or certain lifestyles rather than the total and complete joy of being a parent. I mean, some people actually brag about the fact that they don't have kids and therefore can obtain more physical belongings. Isn't that the saddest thing you've ever heard? I mean, is that diamond bracelet going to hold your hand when you are on your death bed? Will that new ski boat have grandchildren that you can play with? Will your fantastic wardrobe and shoe collection snuggle with you at night when you are cold? And will that car talk to you and ask you how your day was and kiss you when you get home? (If you said yes, you should not be commended for having a rocking car, you should be checked for schizophrenia.)

Finally, I am so SO SO thankful for a husband that believes what I do about the importance of staying at home to raise our child. I think that the only thing sadder than not having children is having children and then giving them to someone else to raise. It's like those people that buy houses only to have someone else clean them for them. I mean, what is the purpose of a child for you? Bragging rights? So you can feel good about yourself? Because you think a kid is this Spring's coolest accessory? Parents who put their own desires and wishes in front of those of their child's are the worst kind. Better to just NOT have a kid than to have one and pass it off.

Take it from someone who knows: Your children can tell INSTANTLY if they are not the most important thing to you. I had one parent that clearly had kids for the wrong reason, and one parent that loves their kids unconditionally. Let's just say that the former really doesn't have a strong relationship with any of their kids. DON'T BE THAT KIND OF PARENT! (Who am I talking to exactly there? I don't know. MAYBE IT'S YOU!!)

Anyway, I am thankful tonight. I am so blessed. I promise my little gusano that I may not make every decision correctly, but as far as parenting goes, they can know that I'm "Quality Assured"

Have a happy Sunday everyone!!

We're not going to take it. . .

So Heather, remember when you were leaving and Jean didn't want you in the meetings to interview new assistants? Wanna know why? Because she was humping your head. She was telling you that you weren't important to this office anymore. Interviews have started. I am not invited.

However, she can't keep them away from me forever! The moment I get a chance to meet with them, I'm TOTALLY going to let them know exactly what this job is really like. I'm also going to tell them that Jean will try to make it sound like I'm a horrible person and that they can't believe anything I say. However, I will let them know that 3 other previous assistants (Heather, Karley and Lynn) will all back me up on this. And I'll let her know that if she wants to know what Jean is really like, all she has to do is listen to my recordings.

If someone actually takes the job after that, she is a mental defective and it serves her right. Or maybe she's such a simpleton that she'll appreciate a little molding by Jean. Like a RM who marries a stupid 18 year old because he knows he can tell her whatever he wants and she will lick it up loving every minute of it. THAT'S what Jean wants. And she'll make sure that they are single so there is no chance of them getting pregnant.

Anyway, this post isn't about that. It's about a series of emails back and forth from Matt and I. Here's the back story: last week Matt sent me an email saying "Please get Donna Gaffin the utility information for her new Suncrest home in Draper. You need to call the HOA too. You should talk to a person named _____" (I can't remember his actual name, but I remember having the emailed opened as I talked to Donna) So then I looked up the number for Draper city, and then got the number for Rocky Mountain Power and Questar Gas. And I called her.

She wrote down the info that I had, and then we started talking about Suncrest. I started to give her the number for Comcast, but she was pretty sure the HOA paid for cable. I said, "I have the name here, but I don't have a phone number" she said, "oh, I have it here, I'll just call them." I said, "Are you sure? I can call them if you would like." She again said no, it was fine, but thanked me for my help and that was the end.

Well, starting this week, Matt turns into a TOTAL tweaker. He starts leaving me multiple messages asking about the Gaffin file and the loan. The loan is another story, but let's just say that he wasn't listening to me when I gave him the info he needed. When I called one person to get the story, that wasn't good enough for him: he would make me call 2 others JUST TO CHECK. Like I said, TWEAKER

It's around Wednesday that I learn that there are TWO HOA's for Suncrest. He says he wants me to call the other agent, and find the number and info for the second HOA. The agent never calls me back. I call again. No call back. I'm sorry, but I can only make so many phone calls in one day.

So today was the closing. Matt went to the closing, and was REALLY upset to find out that the Gaffin's in fact DIDN'T have the Suncrest HOA or the other HOA numbers. He asked that I try the other agent (whose name is Ron, by the way. That will be important later) one more time. I FINALLY get a hold of him and get the number of the Suncrest HOA. Ron told me that the second HOA really hadn't been organized yet, so he would be the contact for the next little while. I passed all this info onto Matt, quite pleased with myself for finding out so much. But then I get this email:

Sent: Friday, April 18, 2008 1:36 PM
To: Alicia Loor
Subject: SUNCREST HOA

FYI: the number you gave me wasn't correct. I was directed to speak with Todd Bean, Community Manager, at 572-1233. Let me be clear: this is the information I had wanted you to get for Donna Gaffin -- i.e., a name and a contact number. Giving her a general Suncrest HOA number is the customer service equivalent of when you ask a kid to get his mom for you and he shouts "MOM!" without moving a muscle.

So, where was the disconnect here? What exactly was your understanding of my request to supply Donna with the Suncrest HOA information? What's weird about this is that you're normally super attentive to these kinds of things. Anyway, please let me know if this feedback is constructive. I'd like to see improvement in our communication. In general you do a phenomenal, top-notch job, so these complete and total disconnects are really quite weird.

Thanks!
Matt

Please tell me this email enrages you as much as it does me. Seriously,that was the most condescending email I've ever read, and he has the nerve to say, "was that constructive? Let me know" So I did. I let him know JUST what I thought. This is my response:

Matt,

This is what you just wrote:

"What exactly was your understanding of my request to supply Donna with the Suncrest HOA information?"

I guess my understanding was that I should get her the number. Did I know that there was a general number, a clubhouse number, a community manager number and then number only used for certain days of the week? No, how was I supposed to know that? Did you make that clear to me? No, all you said was "Get Donna Gaffin the HOA number"

Secondly, when I talked to Donna on the phone, she said to me "I HAVE THAT ALREADY" I offered to call and find out what the utilities were that came through the HOA, but she said no. I said, "Oh, do you have the number already? I can still call it for you if you would like" She said no thanks, that she would call him, and then said the name of the contact there (the same name that you gave me) and so I knew she had the right information.

Thirdly, the number I gave you was the number I got from Ron this morning when I could FINALLY get a hold of him. He gave me that number. I'm sorry if it was incorrect, but again, how would I have known that? He gave me that number and I believed him. I guess I shouldn't believe what people tell me anymore. Also, not knowing that there were MULTIPLE numbers for the HOA, I was sure that that number would be enough.

I guess my problem is that the tone of your letter suggests that you somehow think that my "inattentiveness" to these items is recent. Maybe you are viewing me differently now that you realize that I'm going to be leaving in May. But I've known that I would be leaving in May for many months now, and by your own admission I am usually "super attentive" to these things. That being the case, it's obvious that I didn't' decide to "check out" back in September when I found out that I was pregnant. You made it clear in your last letter that I have continued my level of professionalism and hard work.

However it seems that since my announcement yesterday more people have decided to become quite short with me and blame me for more things that normal. I would like you to know that in this case, I did everything possible to get the number from Ron short of riving up to see him personally.

I feel that every time you tell me to call Donna, or Ron or someone else, I do just what you want. But for some reason it's not good enough. For some reason I should KNOW that there are 2 HOA's for that property, or that there are multiple numbers for one HOA without anyone explaining this to me. I don't expect you to know things without being told them, so I'm a little upset that the same courtesy isn't extended to me.

Finally, I guess you can have your own opinion about me. It's quite obvious that everyone here has decided to write me off as "disassociated" or "checked out" when that is not the case at all. I am still being paid for a job, so I'm going to continue to do it. All I can do it keep working hard. I cannot change how people in this office view me.

Thanks,
Alicia Loor

I think that I made it pretty clear: His email pissed me off and he's a jerk off for even insinuating that I've been "disconnected" at all. I think that it got to him, because he TOTALLY backed down. He eventually sent me this short and quick email:

Very good. Just know that I'm jut trying to improve our customer service -- especially in situations like the Gaffins where we're basically completely out of the loop.

There was one more email in between those where he said that we should email everything. He said that if I emailed her, then we wouldn't have this problem because I could show proof that I did it. I reminded him that the Gaffin's were driving across the country and didn't have access to a computer, and that's why I called her about the utilities in the first place. He responded with the email you just read above I think we put that item of business to rest.

I'm so glad I responded with the nasty email. I know that many of you won't think that it's THAT nasty, but for me it was really hard to send it. I actually had Lynn read it first and she was like "SEND IT NOW!! IT'S PERFECT!!!" I really don't think that I would've done it unless someone told me to do it. It was kinda scary. I'm sure Jean will eventually read it and try to use it against me. Whatever. I expect that.

And lastly, I want you to know how wonderful my husband is. He asked me for Jean and Matt's email address. He's going to defend my honor to them. He said that he's going to write Matt and say, "I don't know what is the matter with you, but I would never treat YOUR wife the way you have treated mine. Even if she and I worked together. I used to think you were a better person than that. I guess you really showed me your true self"

Isn't that cute! I mean it won't do a dang thing, but I LOVE that he's going to do it. Even if it causes more problems for me. AND I'm not going to mention that he's only doing it NOW right before I'm about to leave. We're not thinking about that. Let's all just think about how great he is for doing it all. I love my husband!

What will I blog about when I leave my job? Let's hope I still can have crazy experiences!

Here it is, Just what you have been waiting for

It's on the right. It's called "The Announcement." I'm sorry, it's not great. Just as anti-climatic as I worried about. The meeting lasted 33 minutes, and I put out the "announcement" about minute 20. Guess how long the baby discussion was? TWO FREAKING MINUTES!! I made it around minute 20, and then it was 2 minutes long, and then after that we continued to talk about CRAP for another 11 minutes. There's your 33 minutes.

Wanna know why I think Jean did that? Because she's a power hungry wench. And she can't stand the thought that we would end the meeting on "my" terms. UGGGHHH. I would like you to all take notice of my nervous talking thing. I feel the need to fill the space with sound. No one is saying anything. It's horribly uncomfortable. And then Dan goes right back into talking about himself. Nice. Classy. Typical. Jamie actually said it was the STRANGEST thing that she's ever been a part of. But that's only

I would like you to know that it's hard to hear on the recording, but right after I say, "having a baby" Jean says, "We WONDERED when you were going to tell us." She's a liar: she had NO IDEA, but again, it's a power issue. Can't let someone get the "better" of her.

But the BEST part of this whole recording is when Jean starts talking about the racial backgrounds and types of disabled people that she doesn't like to sell homes to because they are "too difficult" to deal with. I like that she's a not-so-closeted homophobe and racist. It makes work interesting to think about what horrible thing she will say today. I'm thinking that she'd better mind her P's and Q's or this recording could end up in the hands of the Utah Real Estate Board of Ethics office or maybe at the Better Business Bureau.

Like I said, I have the whole thing here on my computer. If you are all DESPERATE to hear it, I'll upload it. Oh, the other good part is that right before she says it she says, "Oh, well, i'll just say it. . . We're not being recorded here." Laughable. Ironic. And she continued on with the derogatory statement. Again, very very classy. How much money do you make again? Can you give me that figure again? And then let's hear you say something against people with dark skin. Lovely. Just what I wanted.

Finally, I would like to direct you all to the comments of the previous blog where my former roommate Amy says that my job is now the barometer for horribleness in the workplace. Glad I could be of some use to you all. Remember, it's not REALLY a horrible job unless your boss makes racial slurs, personal attacks and then threatens to sue you. I only wanna hear your work stories if you experience those three things on a daily basis.

Wait, never mind. I don't want to hear your stories. It will just bring up nightmares.

I think I have Summit PTSD.

Calming my nerves before the big day

I should let you all know how the vacation thing went down. It was quite anti-climatic. I'm somewhat worried that my announcement tomorrow will be the same. Wouldn't that just be the worst? I mean all this buildup, all this anticipation and then FLOP. Nothing. Reminds me of my wedding night.

I KID!! I KID!!! I had a great wedding night. But this blog isn't about that. It's about the vacation situation at my office. Well, Jean was reminded about the days Jamie will be absent. And then on Monday, right before that recording was made, we were talking about our files, and the upcoming closings. I reminded her that I was going out of town the 24th to the 30th. She tried to say, "did you tell me that before?" (I actually have that on tape too.) I told her I did, and she was like "oh. . . um. . . .ah. . . .er. . . " and then she was like "oh yeah, now I remember."

What the crap? She totally backed down!! I was really quite disappointed. I really think that she thinks it will be ok, and that she can do it. She has NO IDEA what my job really is. I'm going to make sure to avoid my cell phone all day. I'm sorry, but I only get 5 days of vacation after a FULL year of working. I'm not going to do their jobs from afar. Actually, when the boys heard about it, they freaked out a LOT more than Jean did. I bet I'll get lots of calls from Dan. The kid is clueless.

Anyway, I was upset that she didn't freak out and try to lie so I could get it on tape. I would've LOVED that. But let's hope that she does do the freak out tomorrow. I told Jamie that she has to practice her "surprise face" so she won't be given away by my announcement. And then I have to give my surprise face when she announces her departure as well. I REALLY hope I'm there for that. There is a chance it might happen when I'm gone. But it would be AWESOME to feel their total freak out when they realize that they would be going into the summer not having someone trained to be their whipping boy. MWAAA HAAAA HAAAAA (Maniacal Laughter. Right Bahamas?)

But I really think that I shouldn't do anything too complex with the announcement tomorrow. I'm afraid if they do they will just think I'm not serious about it, or they will take my announcement as trite. I'll just think about it tonight. Turns out I can't sleep anymore. I just stay awake replaying arguments with Jean over and over in my mind. And then I start to imagine OTHER arguments that I haven't had yet with her. So basically, Jean's ruining my days AND my nights.

So let's move on. Baby news. This baby is freaking out. And my belly is starting to HURT everytime I stand up. Not just my belly, but my legs too. When I get up from my desk, I feel like I've just stepped off the stair master after a grueling half hour workout there. I groan a lot. (Jamie can testify to that) and I kinda do this wheezing moaning thing in rhythm too. It makes me feel better to hear something rhythmic coming from my mouth.

Like as I type this right now, it's moving around on the left side and causing me a good amount of discomfort. The pain also radiates down to my "lady spot". How graphic is that? Sorry about that. Here's my fear: I'm not going to know when I go into labor. Maybe all of you mothers just laughed out loud when I said that. Because you are like "THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN MISS IT" But here's the thing: I thought I was going into labor last week. Wanna know what it really was? Diarrhea.

Yeah, you read that right. I was chatting with Reagan online and I was like, "I don't know what is going on! My belly is freaking out!" and she's like "is it coming in waves?" and I was like "YES!!" And she was like "Do you feel it in your back?" and I was like "OH YEAH!!" She was like "Uh, I would call your doctor." I told her that I was going to go to the bathroom first, and see if that helped. And it did, of course.

How horrible is that? I confused diarrhea with having a baby. Actually, that should say something about how painful my diarrhea is. But enough poop talk. The point of that little story is that sometimes I just feel pain, and I'm not great at realizing what that pain means. That has also happened with painful gas, a torn ligament and hunger. I worry that it will be the same when it's time for the baby to come. I'm scared.

Secondly, Jamie told me this freaked out story about an acquaintance of hers that had an epidural and it went badly and she's been in physical therapy to learn how to WALK again for like a year and a half. She still walks with a limp and she was told that she probably shouldn't have any more kids. She's like 20 years old!! I don't know, but after hearing that I'm still not dead set on the epidural!

Reagan says that to NOT have one is like giving the finger to medical science and all their advancements. But what if I get a anesthesiologist who's a closet drunk and he puts in a bad line and I can't walk for years? What if I have a bad reaction and half of my body goes paralyzed and they have to bring in the crash cart for fear I'm about to go into cardiac arrest (that's another bad epidural story I heard)

Do I want to have a natural birth? NO!!! But isn't there something in between lower body paralyzation and feeling every little rip and tear of your precious lady friend? You would think with all the medical advancements that we have they would've figured some other way to make birth comfortable without putting your SPINAL COLUMN at risk.

Sorry, I know I've talked about this way too much. I'll leave it at that. Anyway, I'm so freaking excited to go visit the Judd in AZ. I need to finalize the details with her. Do I need to bring my air mattress? Extra pillow? Sound machine to drown out my horrific snoring? I should probably find this out soon, seeing is how I'll be there in like 9 days. MAN, I'm excited.

Ok, off to bed. Please be thinking of me around 9 am tomorrow when I go to my doom. . .

SOUND BITE UPDATE!

After hours on the computer, I finally figured out how to upload the recordings with Jean. The first one has been posted on the sidebar. It's date is from April 1st.

The one right below it is from today, is titled "Conversations With the Devil #20 April 14th" and is MUCH longer. I didn't want to comment too much on it. I really want your comments about what you think.

I guess you need a little background to understand what is going on. I told her that I'm listing my home, and she told me that I would have to pay her 70% of 3% of the total purchase price of the home. She's never done this with any other agent and with any other assistant. So what ensues is me questioning this practice.

Again, please comment on this post about how lame I sound, and how horrible Jean is. And then comment on how I'm a genius for figuring it out all on my own. Just like a big girl!!

Bored

I am blissfully bored today. And why is that? Because both Jean AND Dan have gone to a conference in Phoenix until next Monday. Jean left yesterday at like 9 am. So the whole day was Jean-free. And Jamie was here helping me, so I got 100% caught up on everything. So now I'm sitting here wondering what to do. I'm sure I can think of something.

I called Judd last night, and we somehow got started talking mission stories. We were together right in the middle of both our missions so some of the stories we have the other one hasn't heard. She told me about how one time her DL said they couldn't teach someone because they didn't know how to read, and Judd said, "Well, you know, as WELFARE sisters, we have been SPECIFICALLY trained on how to teach someone to read." And that dips**t missionary (excuse my language) says, "OHHHHH don't get me going about your 'welfare' training! (apparently he even did the air quotes too) That's just an excuse for you to be lazy."

Now, you need to know something about Judd. She is from the South. She is all civility and gentility and sweetness UNTIL YOU CROSS HER. Seriously, she has a way to knock you down and put her shoe on your throat so you don't DARE make a move. (verbally speaking, that is) This was one of those times. It should also be noted that the elders that were questioning her work ethic had ONLY been out of their home ONE DAY that week. Can anyone guess what day that might have been? If you guessed P-day, then you are right. Also you should know that Judd is a Missionary working MANIAC. Seriously, a workaholic, people.

So Judd LOSES it. She starts yelling (in Spanish) about how they, the wise and great elders, have only been outside one day that week, so they must know ALL about being lazy, right? And even though they do hours and hours of welfare stuff every week, her and her companion's numbers are consistently the highest in the whole ZONE! To emphasize this, she picks up all the papers that are going to be mailed to the president that week (probably 30 in total) and flings them at this moron elder's face. Papers and silence distill upon the group.

What would you give to have been there and seen the looks on all their faces? I would've given my left boob to see that. Finally, after a few moments of stunned silence, the moron elder's NOT so moronic companion says, "Hna Judd, we KNOW that the welfare sisters work hard." Judd of course felt silly because she had made such a huge fuss, but you know what? That elder didn't dare open his mouth to her the rest of the time she was in his district. How could he with her foot on his throat?

Anyway, I loved this story. I had a few to share of my own that she hadn't heard, so we had a good chat for a while. And then her little girl fell down and hit her head and she had to get off the phone.

But Judd and I had some GREAT times on the mission. I think we had fun together, but I also think we had LOTS of fun apart. So being able to get together and share stories with each other about the times that we weren't together makes it that much better. And talking with her made me miss Ecuador so much. Especially when Marcelo said we could buy a condo on the beach in Manta for like $30,000. I REALLY WANT THAT, especially right now when I look outside and it's STILL storming here in Utah.

Anyway, here are some things I miss about Ecuador:

*They don't refrigerate hardly anything. Even the things that SHOULD be refrigerated 100% of the time. I'm talking like milk, eggs, cheese, fruits, vegetables, meat. . . I could go on, but why should I? I actually never worried that I bought my eggs off the street, out of a little bodega that JUST sells eggs, and there was nothing in there but palates and palates of them. It seemed natural to do it like that. Why mess with Ecuadorian wisdom? (It's not like they have weird theories about food and TREES, right Reagan?)

Also, they usually go to the market once a day to get the freshest stuff. Why do you need a fridge if you go shopping every day and there is no such thing as leftovers in your house? I wouldn't have one either. In my first home, there were 6 girls living there and we had a fridge the size of one of those "college" fridges. And there was always plenty of room. That's because K-Chitos don't need to be refrigerated. Am I right people? (I REALLY WANT SOME K-Chitos RIGHT NOW!!!)

* The million varieties of corn. In the high mountain areas of Ecuador, they are known for their corn. I know that many of you have seen that "Mexican" corn also called hominy. Ecuador looks at that one type of corn and they spit on it!! Imagine if you went to a store that had NOTHING BUT CORN. You no longer have to imagine, such places exist in Ecuador. We are talking bags and bags of different sizes, colors, shapes styles of corn. There had to be 30+ varieties. This is the ONLY good memory I have of Hermana Eckert (she was my companion aged 66, remember?). We found this great store outside the huérfanas' house in San Rafael and we bought like 10 different kinds. Why? Because we were OBSESSED with "tosados." (If you don't know what tostados are, I'll look for a picture for you.) They have a similar product in stores, and it's basically dried corn that's fried. Almost like Corn Nuts. But Corn nuts are REALLY hard and break your teeth, where as tosados burst open in the frying process and so they are all soft and salty and delicious.

Well, we wanted to see how all these different varieties would be if we tried to make tosados out of all of them. Let me tell you, that was the only day I ate with Hermana Eckert. (Most days I feigned a stomach ache and continued down my destructive cycle of anorexia) But we had a blast frying up those corn kernels and seeing which ones popped open, and which ones stayed in a tight ball like Cornuts. Like I said, it was my only good day with her. (other than the day she left, that is) The best ones were the little ones. They burst open. The big ones were stubborn and didn't want to do anything (that's what she said). Moving on

*Using halls Mentho-lyptus as an "after dinner mint". I honestly miss that!! I don't know why they think that cough drops are good for after dinner palate refreshers, but they do. Even in high end upscale restaurants they use these. And the Latinos LOVE them. They sell them at little tiendas for like 3 cents or 5 cents a piece, and kids decide they want to waste their money on them instead of good old-fashioned-rot-your-teeth sugar.

The first time I got a cold after we were married, I bought a package of these at the store, and Marcelo asked me what they were. I said they were to clear my nose and throat. He asked if he could try one and I said of course, but they are medicine, so he might not like them. I had obviously forgotten about the fact that my husband's palate has been trained to recognize this particular taste as decadent. He ate the whole bag. I had to go and buy myself some more, because my husband ate the WHOLE BAG. Ahhh, Latinos.

That's all I can think of right now. Well, that's not true. I got about a million other things that I miss about Ecuador floating around in my brain right now. But Jean's annoying niece/turd from next door keeps popping over here to try and snoop on my computer and see what I'm doing. I'm going to tell her the next time she comes over, "whew! You almost caught me looking at my stash of work porn. It's some I've compiled just for work; I have another stash of home porn". It would serve her right to get a smack of sarcasm in her face. And I would love if that sarcasm was attached to my hand.

I love it when Jean is out of town!! I hope the rest of the week is as "boring" as today!

You had a bad day

Sometimes I would come home and say that I had a bad day, and Marcelo would start singing that song. It made me happy because he was trying to make me smile when I was so obviously upset. Today was one of those days. I don't really want to get into it, but let's just say this: Lynn did send that email to Jean. It pissed her off like we all knew it would. However, she cannot come and talk to me about it, because then she would have to admit the things she is saying behind my back.

So instead there are secret meetings behind closed doors. (The only reason she would close a door is so she can talk about me) Meetings with Matt, Dan, Peggy and her nephew even!! But I'm never spoken to the whole day. No one talks to me, no one looks at me, no one addresses me. But somehow, I'm still blamed!!! Somehow she still can't figure out "what to do with me." For some reason, even though I had no part of the email, she still has decided that it's my fault, and I therefore must be blamed for it.

I actually thought for a moment that Lynn was a genius and that there would be no way that Jean could confront me about it becuase then she would have to admit to what she did. But it's actually better for her this way! (That doesn't reflect on Lynn's genius status. We all know she still can wipe the floor with most of us, intellectually speaking) But now Jean can talk about me behind my back, blame me for everything and I can NEVER defend myself, becuase I don't know anything about it, right? Right!!!

And the best part? Jean made sure to tell "Peggy" in a really loud voice that Becky her old assistant called her and asked for her job back. Do I believe her? Not for a minute. Is it possible that Becky called and talked about this job in very GENERAL terms? Totally. Do I think that Jean made that "announcement" to Peggy so that I would over hear it and worry about losing my job? You can bet your sweet little crab cakes that she did!!!

Like I said, it was a bad day. I'm ready to just sell this house and get out of this job. I don't want to see any of these people ever again. I'm just so sick of all of it. I don't care about anyone at that office anymore I (except Maria and Alyssa). I'm just so tired of seeing everyone and pretending to give a crap anymore. I'm tired of being yelled at. I'm tired of being blamed. And I'm tired of talking about my job.

So let me get to the topic of this blog so I can stop talking about those people. I have 3 scenarios of how I'm going to tell the office that I'm pregnant. You need to read them and vote on the poll on the right. This poll will stay open till Thursday at 9:00 am. That's when i'll check it for the last time, and do whatever you tell me to do. So here are the options:

1. No muss, no fuss. I say the following. "I just wanted you to all know that I have an announcement. I'm pregnant (wait for response. When I realize there IS none coming, I continue on) Yeah, so I'm pregnant and I'll be leaving soon. So you won't have to put up with me for much longer. The 16th of May is going to be my last day." I'll then toss one of my ultrasound pictures across the table so that they'll get to see my little gusano in all it's glory and that will be the end of it.

2. The Fakeout. I tell them I have an announcement. I've very solemn about it. I say the following, "Well, I'm sure you have all noticed a big change in my appearance. I have been gaining weight at an alarming weight and I'm quite upset about this. I know that I need to do something about my weight, even if that something is drastic. As you know, my father had gastric bypass surgery a few years ago and it really worked for him. So I've made up my mind: I'm going to do something about my weight. So around the 24th of May, I'm going to check into the hospital and. . . have a baby. I predict I can lose 7 to 8 pounds in one hour!!" (Wait for response. When none comes, continue on) "So I'm going to have that to look forward to. In the meantime, you all can look forward to me leaving on the 16th of May."

3. The Award Show. Bring out prizes like Hostess Raspberry Zingers, or Star Crunches. Make sure I have enough for everyone. (Matt, Dan, Jean and Jamie) Tell them that there is gonig to be a quiz and these are the prizes for the winners. Then say, "There is only one for each of you, so you can only win one prize. Please only answer one question. However, you may help each other" Then say, "Well, the first question is this: I have a secret. Who thinks they can guess my secret?" They might have to be "helped" along, but I'm sure that they will get it after only a few seconds. When someone answers the question right, toss them the treat and say "good job" in the same tone you use when praising a dog.

"Next question: Who can guess how many weeks along I am? It might help to know that a normal pregnancy lasts 40 weeks." When one of them guesses 35 weeks, throw another treat at them and use the "dog voice" again. I'm sure that they will be pissed/surprised at this time. But keep up the charade a little longer.

"Ok, last question. Who can guess what my last day of work will be?" This will be AWESOME because Jean hates it when others tell her what she THINKS is her sole right to decide. She thinks that she's the only one that can decide when someone leaves, so the fact that I'm setting my own date will piss her off to no extent. When someone says "May 16th" I will once again praise them like a dog and toss them a package of Zingers.

I'll then say that the 4th treat is for the one that got NO questions correctly. I'll tell them that I wanted to make sure that there were no hard feelings as we left this little meeting, so I wanted to make sure that everyone had a little something awesome and delicious. I'll wait for questions and comments, of which there will of course be none. And then it will all be over.

So those are the three options. Please let me know what you want me to do. I'll make sure I bring multiple packs of Zingers to work that day, and if you all decide for me that I should do another one of the choices, then i'll just eat all of them myself. No harm in that, right? I'm sure not. Should I let you vote for more than one option? Let me know that too.

Here's to workplace gossip and having your boss ruin your day!!!

Conversations With the Devil-Recording #1

*Warning!! Long Blog to follow!! You have been warned!!*

I made this recording Tuesday, April 1, 2008. I don't know how to upload the recording. I need some sort of cord to link the recorder and the computer. And my computer will only let me record 60 seconds at a time. This recording is about 3 and a half minutes, and this was just a SIMPLE conversation. What happens when the baby conversation comes up?

Also, Jean's voice is so soft because she's across the room, and my voice is so loud because my mouth is only inches away from the recorder in my cleavage. So it's hard to get just the right volume. You are cranking it up to hear her and then are blasted by my manish bear voice. So while I try to still work on the recording, in the meantime I will type up the transcript of the conversation here:

Setting: Office
Time: 1:50 pm
Temp: 72 degrees
Mood: Decide for yourself. . .

Jean: Ok, I need to know what's going on.

(At this point i started freaking!! I thought, "She knows! She figured it out! She's going to ask me if I'm pregnant and why I didn't tell her earlier!" I'm really paranoid these days, obviously. Back to the recording.)

Me: (Silent)
Jean: Cause you've got an attitude a mile long
Me: (Silent)
Jean: Like, you were gone FIFTY minutes to put a lock box on.
Me: Uh, yeah, I got lost (that was actually true. I wrote down the wrong address, and flipped the pre and post directions and was all twisted around. I had to look up the address again. Just lost)
Jean: Alicia, It's an EASY house to find. For fifty minutes?
Me: (Silence)

Here's a tangent. Silence is the response I ALWAYS give Jean whenever she tells me something and doesn't want to hear my opinion. When I tell her that I'm really busy with all the stuff I have to do, and she says, "You aren't that busy," How do you respond to that? I JUST told you I'm VERY busy. And you respond by saying, no, I'm NOT busy? How would you POSSIBLY know that?

It seems that by saying that, you want me to re-think ALLLLLL the crap I have to do and say, "You know what? You are right! I'm NOT that busy!" And until I say that, she doesn't want to hear what I have to say. It's like she's saying, "I know you are too stupid to realize this, Alicia, but you are not busy. I will tell you when you are and are NOT busy. And until then, don't even THINK that you are busy."

So you know what I do? I shut my mouth. I'm done talking to her. She doesn't care about what I'm saying, and obviously she doesn't care about what I think, so I'll just keep my mouth shut. It's her business right? Well, in just a few weeks it will be ALL HERS with no one to help her. Ok, back to the recording and my "mile long" attitude. . .

Me: Also there's some construction on 800 North, I had to detour and come back the other way
Jean: Well, I don't know what's going on with you. Whether you are distracted with something that's going on, . . but you seem to be highly distracted. . .
Me: Silence for 3 seconds ) I'm not. I'm not (The second time is much whinier than the first "I'm not")

Additional tangent: Remember how she caught me in that lie last week? And she was all rude to me and it changed the day I was going to tell her about the baby? Well, I don't think I told you what I eventually ended up telling her to get her off her back. I told her that I was helping my mom buy a house here in Utah and that's why I needed the key. She said I have to ask her PERMISSION to show any home at any time, and because I didn't ask her first, I was being "sneaky" and going behind her back.

Well, in the next breath, she says the following, "Well, Matt and Dan have all been talking about how you have changed since your FATHER moved here to Utah. They think that you are very pre-occupied with your family." And then the clincher, "They talk about it all the time."

First, the MOMENT this came out of her mouth, I knew it was a lie. I knew that SHE had these thoughts, but for some reason she wanted to assign them to Matt and Dan. Maybe she thought that if they came from someone else, then it would give them more credit. Also, it's kind of the old thing, "Well, IIIIII don't think this . . .but OTHERS have been saying ______." So she get's to be the one to make me feel like crap, but then she can always say, "I didn't say it! It wasn't me!" Again, I didn't believe her for a second. I knew it was a lie the moment it left her mouth.

Secondly, I know that this was a way for her to "dig it in" and get me where she figured it would most hurt me: My father. She thought that by just bringing up his NAME, she would be affecting me. The truth is, I haven't' spoken to my father since maybe New Years? I'm not sure. I don't remember. If it wasn't New Years, then it was Mid-October. So OBVIOUSLY I'm not distracted by him. How can you be distracted by someone you haven't spoken to in 3 and a half months? But she doesn't know that. She's grasping at straws, making up lies and she's trying to hit me with a "low blow" and she thinks that bringing up my father will do that. She's wrong. And she's a liar.

Back to the recording:

Me: I'm not, I'm NOT. So. . .I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm not distracted I'm just. . .
Jean: (interrupting ) is there something you are frustrated with?
Me: (The whiny voice REALLY comes out now) No! I'm just trying to get caught up! (sigh of frustration) I haven't even called all the listings from yesterday. (papers rustling. I'm flipping through my book showing her all the crap I have to do) I met with Matt and Dan and I have a whole list of things to do from him. I'm doing comps & county, and listing papers. Two sets of listing papers: I need to get those done right now. . .
Jean: Comps and County for who?
Me: For you. I did four sets of them. And then I did some more for Matt. I did some listing papers for Matt, and I now have two sets of listing papers for you. And. . . I'm just. . . .
Jean: Ok, and you can't delegate some of that to Jamie?
Me: She did two listings this morning.
Jean: Ummm Hummm. (FYI, if you ever hear Jean say, "umm hmmm" it means she's not listening to you. You can see how she wasn't listening to me as this conversation continues on because she keeps repeating herself.)
Me: . . .So, she's busy as well.
Jean: Well, you know I like you to go [to lunch] at 1 and at 2. But we never seem to make that. That is CRITICAL for me. Because I have appointments based on when I know someone has time to cover the phones.

Tangent: THE PHONES WERE NEVER NOT COVERED!!! ALL THAT HAPPENED WAS THAT JAMIE TOOK LUNCH LATER THAN PLANNED!! YOU WERE IN NO WAY INCONVENIENCED!! YOU ARE CRAAAAAAZZZZZYYYYYYY!!!!! But I'm sure you'll make up some other excuse for why you need take lunch at JUST THAT TIME. Back to recording

Me: . . .Well. . . I also talked to Adrienne Parsons as well. I dropped off Seller's Disclosures and Explained what they were, and I talked to her. .
Jean: You don't need to do that. Ryan could've done that.

Tangent: No he couldn't. Ryan is a moron. He's her nephew who's BARELY 22, and has no idea what the meaning of the word "work" is. He's our little "runner" boy, but when he doesn't know how to do something, he calls me. I get multiple calls every day. I have to look up for him on the computer to find him directions for everyplace he goes. I want to say, "hey, moron! do you see how much work I have? Maybe you can jump on one of the 4 vacant computers we have here at the office and find that info out yourself. ARRRRGH!!! Back to recording

Jean: We could've done that ALL via email. So. . .
Me: Well, you know that 15 minute conversation? I call them and talk about the systems of our office? Well I did that in person, and not over the phone. So it was still 15 minutes that I actually had to sit there and explain to her our systems and how the showings work. So I thought, do it in person? do it over the phone? Either way it's still 15 minutes.
Jean: Well, I know it's not very fair to Jamie, hanging on there so long to go to lunch. I just really want you to remember that that's important to me,
Me: I know, that's why when you left, I for sure told you.
Jean: Yeah, well I know that from where you live, to go drive that over, it's 10 minutes. Maybe 15.

TANGENT I want you to see how the topic keeps changing. First it's about lunch, then it's about the phones. Then it's about how it's not fair to Jamie. Then it's about the TIME that it took. And blah blah. Whenever I bring up a rebuttal/explanation for my actions, her comments/complaints change. Back to recording

Jean: So when I see that you are gone 50 minutes, I'm thinking, Is she just doing this to. . . .uh. . . . You know, I don't know Alicia! It just feels like you have an attitude lately towards me.

TANGENT!! RIGHT THERE!! RIGHT THERE!!! SHE'S LOST THE FIGHT, AND SHE KNOWS IT!! Whenever she's losing a fight, she comes back to something that we've already resolved, or something that I've already explained. She repeats herself because she has nothing else to say! So when she starts to do that, it REALLY frustrates me. I usually have to REPEAT myself and let her know that we have already moved PAST that point. Sometimes she gives up and I am released from her evil grasp. But most times she throws in a wild and completely UNRELATED topic to try to win the argument again.

That's why we can be talking about my commission on a certain house, and then all of a sudden we are talking about my clothes, or my father, or my "attitude," or how I'm distracted. . . Blah, blah, blah. Wanna know the funny thing? That's the way my father argues. I've been dealing with him for 28 years, so her 2.5 years is nothing. It took me a while to realize that she fights the same way, but now that I know that's how she plays, I know how to combat her. Please! Don't try that with me! I was born and raised on horrible parental manipulation. And guess what Jean? You aren't even very good at it!

I bet that's the "attitude" that she picks up on. It's actually called "sticking up for oneself" but she can't call it that, because then she would have to admit that she belittles and puts people down. So she makes up another name for it. But the truth is that I do have an "attitude" now. It's called "You can't treat people like that, and I'm not going to take it anymore." It's the way I should've been from the beginning. Maybe then she would've fired me long ago.

Back to the recording. So she's just said AGAIN that I have an attitude towards her. And I respond. . .

ME: I'm sorry. . . I don't know . . .What would you like me to change so I don't. . .so I don't. . . so you don't think that I have an attitude?
Jean: Well, if you don't, then you don't. Then we need to just drop it. We need to just get our work done. You know, I'm way to busy to be messing around with stuff like this.
Me: Uh yeah!! (laughing) So am I!
Jean: Well, we'll just drop it and move on. Delegate to Jamie, I've given her some good jobs to do too.
(Phone Ringing. BLESSED BLESSED PHONE!!)
Me: Want me to get that?
Jean: Yeah.

AND SCENE!!!

Ok, I held off my last tangent because it was almost over. But I was going to say WHHAAAAATT THE FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF?!?!?!? Let's go back to that one part, my FAVORITE part. I ask her what she wants me to do so that she doesn't think I have an attitude anymore. And she says, "Well, if you don't, then you don't. . . We need to just get our work done. You know, I'm way to busy to be messing around with stuff like this."

I'M NOT THE ONE THAT CALLED ME IN HERE AND BROUGHT UP A RIDICULOUS ACCUSATION!! I mean, I'm not the one that imagined some mysterious "attitude" and just HAD to talk to me about it. It's like she was blaming me for HER calling me in to bitch me out! What a joke.

I don't know what else to say about this. I mean most of my readers can see the absolute bull crap that was this conversation. If you cannot see it, I suggest you stop reading my blog right now. I have PLENTY more of this to come in the upcoming weeks.

Finally, when I was with Reagan yesterday, she listened to the actual recording. (I'm sorry that I'm still having difficulty posting it here.) She said that my voice is COMPLETELY different when I talk to Jean. How did you describe it Reagan? Like a lamb begging for its life before it's slaughtered? As I was listening to it, I had to agree with her. I become somewhat whiny and just full of lame excuses. And I KNOW that my excuses are lame, so in my voice I'm trying to plead my case.

But the truth is, I've learned that if I'm any more forceful in my tone, Jean will go OFF on me on how "confrontational" I am. So do I just pull out the whiny voice and get out of there ASAP? Or do I stand up for myself and risk getting into a 90 min chat about my father, my clothing, my lack of makeup or any other random thing that she wants to bring up? What would you do? You would pull out the whiny voice too, I guarantee it.

So that was my most recent interaction with the Devil. What do you think? And who knows where I can get some free downloading software so you can hear the real thing?

Happy working!!