Just like Mom used to make

I have a new cooking secret. Want to know what it is? Well, I'll tell you: I just think about what my mother in law would make.

I know that my husband and his mother don't have the typical "mama's boy" past. Their past is slightly checkered and dark at parts. At one point when he was just 8 years old, he went to live with another family for 2 years because he just couldn't be in his house anymore. But my husband is a great example to me of love and forgiveness. He loves his mother unconditionally and can see the good in her. And she is a great woman. She really is very strong and wonderful. And even though she scares the crap out of me and annoys me when I'm down there, the truth is that I very intimidated by her. And I fear that I will never be as great or as strong as she is. And so maybe some of my fear gets switched to annoyance. Just maybe. . . hmmm. Something else to work out at therapy at a later date. When I start going to therapy, maybe?

However, one of those things that we both love about her? Well, she is an AMAZING cook.

When I was in Ecuador about a year ago, I was not happy. But now that I'm home I'm even less happy because I didn't take advantage of the time I had to learn from her and take notes on different foods. I was more concerned with feeding my baby and the liquid poo that always seemed to be pouring from her diaper. And so at mealtimes, I just sat down and had a bowl of something placed in front of me. (Just so you know, everyone got a bowl placed in front of them. It would've been more strange if I were in the kitchen helping. Her kitchen is HER domain. None shall pass)

But I feel really inferior when it comes to cooking for Marcelo. But ONLY for Marcelo. Like if I had an American husband he would most likely enjoy casseroles and other similar American fare. Mashed potatoes and green salad. But he just doesn't like that. And while he has been trained VERY well to always eat what I make, I can tell that he doesn't like certain things. And so I never make them again. Also, I like to know when Marcelo is coming home because most of my meals are best served fresh from the oven. So if I miss the time, either he has to wait for dinner, or get it cold and not as good. So little by little my bank of recipes has been whittled down to almost nothing.

And then inspiration struck. It happened while Marcelo and I were watching an episode of "No Reservations" on the Travel Channel. Anthony Bourdain was in, (of course) ECUADOR!!! We really enjoyed watching him eating chifles and intestine and seafood and aji. (UMMMM AJI!!! I seriously just salivated typing that. How I miss you, aji) Then Tony said something that struck me he said, "oh, I love anything that's been simmering in a pot all day. Those are the best kinds of meals."

And I realized, that's what Ecuadorian cooking is! It's a lot of "one pot" style soups and sauces. Things that you can cook for 4o minutes or 1 1/2 hours depending on when people arrive home. You don't have to worry about when they will come home exactly, because it will be simmering away when they get there. It just gets better the longer it sits in the pot! You can add the tough cuts of meat with the bone still in there, and it all just dissolves beautifully. (I tried this with a big cross cut of cow leg and Marcelo was in heaven when the marrow was still in the bone and he got to suck it out. Seriously, he was so happy) It's stress free cooking, and I was stressing out about it!! This needed to change.

So now I just try to remember all the meals my mother served us.This is how my thought process works: "Ok, dinner ready around 7:30. What would be good in a pot. Chicken? Yes. What else? Carrots? Sure! Peas? Ok, at the end. . .What would my mother in law put in there? A potato, of course. Maybe a yucca if I have one. . .hmmm. . ." And so it goes.

Meal times around here have gotten much MUCH better and much less stressful. And while I will never EVER compare with the cooking skills of my mother in law, I have stopped worrying about it. We both have our talents and there is no comparison on either end. I mean, I'd like to see her whip up cinnamon rolls (WITH the cream cheese frosting included, of course) in less than an hour like I can.

Game. set and MATCH.

Tricked

I'm into reminiscing. Which is what Lobster do for hours and hours when we get together. And she reminded me of this little incident from when we were on our mission and serving together:

On the mission, I hated tracting. Hated it like nothing else. I think this is due to the fact that recently I have come to realize that I am VERY passive aggressive. Secretly recording my boss's conversations, avoiding conflicts, letting things continue to bother me so that I don't have to confront a person. DEFINITE SIGNS OF PASSIVE AGGRESSION. And I think that door knocking was the MOST aggressive things that we as missionaries did. It had built in conflict right in it. And I hated it.

I mean, I had NO problem talking to people at other times. On a bus, in a cab, in the grocery store, walking down the street, in the park, waiting in line to pay my light bill. I had no problem doing this. But I absolutely hated knocking on someone's door, pulling them away from cooking or spending time with their family, and then giving them a message in my crappy Spanish. And then have them try to pretend that they didn't understand me. Or have them slam the door in my face. I HAAAAAATED tracting.

Judd knew this. Well, she found this out after a few days together when she said, "are we going tracting?" and I said "I hate tracting. I don't want to do it" and the message was pretty clear then. Plus, me being senior companion I got to make decisions like that.

But what to do when you have no one to teach? Judd came from a long history of tracting, and I did not. And it pissed her off when we had nothing to do. And she had one answer for it. But I didn't like what she suggested.

So one day, one of our appointments blew us off. We started to walk somewhere. I don't remember where we were heading, (home maybe?) when all of a sudden, Judd stops in front of a door and knocks on it. I was super confused. So I asked her, "Who's house is this?" and she said, "Somebody's". I said, "Do we have an appointment?" And I don't think I was met with anything more than a "hmmmm"

I looked around. What street were we on? How did she meet these people without my knowing? I've been in this area longer than she had, so how did she know them and I didn't? Then I look up. I look down the street. I looked back the other way. I looked behind me to find out what manzano we were on. I look at Judd's face. And she won't return my gaze. AND I KNEW. We were currently tracting. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I can tell you that I know EXACTLY how a dog feels to realize that it's been trapped in the car and it being taken to the vet for a series of shots. Betrayal, horror, fear, shock, hurt. You name it, I ran the whole gamut of emotions in that one moment.

And we did it. And it wasn't so bad. We didn't find any golden contacts or anything, but no one tried to kill me. And only a few people slammed the door in my face. And when we left that house she very bluntly stated, "We have to go tracting. We have to. You have no choice." She was right of course. And we did it a few more times while we were together. And I'm sure I whined and tried to weasel out of it each time. But she didn't take any of my BS. Because that's what a lobster does. They don't take crap, even from their senior companion best friend. They just don't.

I love you, Lobster.

Ecuador Travels & Trevails

I don't know why, but I just couldn't get back in the mood to blog for a long time now. I think I have so many things to blog it's so overwhelming. But I've decided I'm just going to have to start and then if I forget some things and have to come back later and tell you about them I will.

So the last your heard from me, I had a horrible traveling trip but I was finally with my in-laws enjoying the fresh fruits and other tasty foods of Ecuador. Here are a few pictures of some of those tasty foods. These are called Achotillos (they might be achetillos and I'm just pronouncing it incorrectly. Marcelo isn't here to double check so you'll have to forgive me if I'm spelling it incorrectly.) From the first pictures, these little fruits looking menacing















They look spikey and a little hairy all at the same time. That is actually a very good description of them on the outside. However, when you crack into them they look like this:


Yeah, they are like a nice peeled grape inside. You peel of the spiny but soft outer shell, and inside you find a soft flesh not unlike a grape who has married a mango. The taste is very sweet, and the texture is very peeled-grape-ish, but the mango reference comes from how the fruit clings to the large pit inside and how the little strings get caught on your teeth. But these things cold are the best on a hot afternoon or a hot night for that matter.

Here is another food item: Chifles.














Chifles are a gift from Heaven.They are made from "verdes" also known as plantains to you English speaking folk and they are much more related to a potato than to a banana. They look like unripe bananas, but they are completely different. You have to cut off the skins and if you get some of them under your nails it will give you a splinter like you wouldn't believe. That's right, the SKINS will do that! There is no easy peeling going on with these bad boys.

So the reason they are in the bag is because we bought them from the "chifleros" down the street. They do nothing all day but use a mandolin slicer and take these verdes and slice them into big vats of hot oil. They make thousands of them every day. And this whole bag cost like 50 cents. It's good they are so cheep because Marcelo's family loves them with ceviche and 2 of them can finish off a whole bag. Heck! I can finish off a whole bag myself! They taste like potato chips but fresher. Uggh, I'm getting a little salivated just remembering them again!

So enough about the food. You know that the food was good. It was great! But that was one of the only good things about being there. I hate to say it, but it was true!! It was so different being down there. Just so different and more difficult. The heat, the location and the fact that our baby didn't adjust so well all made things so difficult.

A typical day involved the following:
2:00 am, 3:30 am and 4:30 am: The family dog (who's name is León) sleeps up on the roof. However, you need to know that they have a sheet metal roof and he likes to put himself under the edge of it. If you know anything about big metal buildups, you know that the sounds travels EVERYWHERE in them. So when he is under that edge and starts barking, he might as well be inside the house right next to my head. It's honestly that loud. So at those times posted above, León hears other dogs in the neighborhood barking and decides he wants to get in on the action. The barking action I'm always terrified it will wake up Evi, but it actually doesn't! Never! She's used to the craziness already

6:00 am: Marcelo waking up and sweeping the floor in the house. My baby also wakes up at this time. I count the number of mosquito bites I accrued over the night. The number is always in the double digits.

8:00 am: Breakfast. Usually some sort of fried meat. I did not like breakfast. I would avoid it. Much to the annoyance of my mother in law. She hated when I refused food. One day my sister in law made tuna, onions, tomatoes and cilantro in lime juice for breakfast. BREAKFAST!! Again, I would avoid it. While trying to find something my child would eat. She usually didn't want to eat anything.

8:30 am Marcelo leaves to goodness knows where. Honestly, I have no idea where he is or who he goes to see!! But I know he won't be back before 1 pm, sometimes as late as 3 pm. I never go with him. Why is that? Well, we tried it one time and put the baby in the stroller and once we hit the sun she started screaming. It was way too hot for her and all the little bugs kept biting her! It just wouldn't work out. So he just left without me and went to make his visits alone. He had to go alone and I was left in the house alone with my mother in law. . . .

10:30 am: Nap time for me and baby. I LOOOOVED nap time. Especially when I had dengue. Evi and I put the fan on and just slept.

11:30-3 pm. Nothing. Nothing at all. I would maybe listen to my iPod, maybe talk to my sister in law. But usually nothing.

3:00 pm: Lunch. Usually something I didn't want to eat. But what could I do. They never ask you if you are hungry, and they never ask you how much you want of the food. You sit down and a plate of food is in front of you, and you eat it. Those are the rules. Don't like tamarindo juice that tastes like rotten fruit? Then plug your nose and chug it! Seriously, she had this tamarindo paste sitting on her counter for like 3 days and on the 2nd day I lifted the lid and my head snapped back because it was so strong. It smelled very rancid, almost alcoholic in it's rancidness. I asked what it was, and they said it was for the "business" (The business is "health juices". Whatever) And then they put it in front of us to drink!! I did not like it! But like the good daughter in law, I ate it.

Most days I wasn't hungry. It's too hot to eat. Or I only wanted a little something. No luck. You didn't get to choose your portion size. At the beginning I would fight through it, but at the end I was tired trying to make everyone happy and I just left the food that I didn't want.

3-9 pm: More of nothing. Another nap for Evi, maybe another nap for me. Maybe some more hammock time. Marcelo gone visiting people: Me alone.

And that was my day. Over and over again. I was so tired of all of this, it was too long being there.

And my baby was sick. She got persistent diarrhea. And she didn't want to eat. My father in law really got to see how strong willed my baby was. If she doesn't want to eat, she won't. She would go meals and meals without eating. And my mother in law would whine and try to get her to eat something, but she wouldn't have it. There was nothing we could do to make her eat. So that was so nerve racking.

And then she started the vomiting. She would vomit at least once a day. She wouldn't eat anything all day, and then we finally got some food in her, and she would puke it up 4-6 hours later. Everything. I was so nervous. I could see her losing weight in front of me. It was scary. I am so thankful I was still breastfeeding. Sometimes it was the only thing she would eat. And I knew that she was getting it at least 4 times a day. So I at least I had that going through my mind saving me from running to the nearest airport and jumping on a plane directly home!!

And I almost did lots of times. My in-laws have cement floors. That's right, just cement on the floors. The front room is a smooth cement, but quite slippery. The dining room, bedrooms and kitchen all have a rougher uneven cement. Which does not bode well with my baby flinging herself on the floor in the middle of a tantrum. Or slipping out of your arms trying to get away and falling on her face. She did this over and over again. And I got a picture of it:


Nice, right? It was huge for like 4 days, then it went away. And then the very night it went away, she did it again!! I swear people thought that we were smacking her around. On the picture on the right you can see the sheen off the smoother cement in the background.

Anyway, my kid was always smacking herself or trying to eat the dirt off the floor. (No wonder she was so sick all the time!!) It just wasn't an enjoyable trip for me!! I wish it were! I wish I could say it was better! But it was just torturous.

Oh, and I didn't get to go to the beach. YUP, remember how excited I was to do that? Remember how I had never been to a warm beach and I was so excited to go while in Ecuador? Well, it didn't happen. I got dengue fever. What is dengue fever you ask? Well, Healthline.com says:

"Dengue fever is a virus-based disease spread by mosquitoes. Dengue fever begins with a sudden high fever, often to 104-105 degrees Fahrenheit. A flat, red rash may appear over most of the body early during the fever. A second rash, measles-like in appearance, appears later in the disease. Infected people may have increased skin sensitivity and are very uncomfortable. Other symptoms include: Headache, Joint aches, Muscle Aches, Nausea, Swollen Lymph Nodes, Vomiting."

It's basically like mono for a week. With a rash. I had all those symptoms except the vomiting. It did last a week, and I didn't take anything for it. No reason, the recommended medicine is Tylenol! Obviously just for the discomfort. I can stand it, so I didn't want to take anything. It ruined the last week of our time there. I just slept all the time. And I had a rash. And Marcelo had me take like 3 showers a day. I was SOOOO tired of showers.

Did you know my in-laws don't have hot water? So when I say shower I mean cold shower! Cold showers are horrible first thing in the morning. And cold hair first thing in the morning? LESS EFFECTIVE!! I was so done with Ecuador and dengue and just everything in general by the 24th. ALL DONE!! (Say that the way my niece Isabel used to say it with the accompanying sign language. I know most of you don't know it, but you can make it up in your mind)

Ok, that's all I'm going to write for right now. I'm going to leave you with a few more Ecuador pictures. These are the Bibi and I with some chicks that my in-laws bought. I don't know why they bought them. Probably to raise so they could someday eat them. That's usually why they have animals!! But here we are looking at them and I'm trying to keep her from pulling a Lenny and snapping their little heads off. She loved how soft they were!


More Ecuador stories tomorrow!!

In Which the F-Bomb was Dropped, but not by ME!!

SUPER LONG POST!! WARNING!! READ WITH A SMALL SNACK! YOU´LL NEED IT TO SUSTAIN READING ENERGY!

So remember how I was crazy scared to come here? Remember how I was having night time sweats and I was all anxious and I wouldn’t concentrate or think about it and I couldn’t get excited about the trip. And how almost everyone told me to just “don’t worry about it! Just go and enjoy yourself!” I will now tell you all the same thing in the biggest boldest letters possible

I TOLD YOU SO!!!

So here is story. In Utah I was trying to keep my “schedule.” I even tried to bathe my kid in a bathroom sink of the D terminal I don’t recommend this to anyone. I promise, it doesn’t work and it will only piss off your kid. The automatic soap dispenser kept shooting foam all over her and she still smells like the stuff. But I held her off sleeping till we got on the plane. She ate and slept all the way to LA. No problems. We got to LAX at 10:30 local time and 11:30 Utah time.

So our next plane was set to leave at 1:30 LAX time (2:30 Utah time) and so we had plenty of time to get to our connection. Well, after winding our way around and finding the long line we needed to stand in, we begin to wait. Of course, a 1 year old walking child doesn’t want to stand and wait patiently in line. She wants to be running all over. So Marcelo and I take turns chasing her around the terminal. 10 min each. She’s crazy running all over, trying to go out the automatic doors, or trying to get her hands caught in them as they opened or trying to climb up into the luggage x-ray machines. I’m telling you, I was really looking forward to getting to our terminal and letting her run in a more “controlled” area where we could watch her without running the risk of her getting run over by a luggage cart.

So I see on the departures board that our flight to Costa Rica was on time, but that a flight to Guatemala was cancelled. I thought “sucks to be going to Guatemala tonight! Why would there be a cancelled flight? There isn’t snow or other bad weather. Did another bird run into some propellers? Oh well gotta go chase my kid now” and I let it go from my mind.

Now, I’m going to go off (ironically, of course. You’ll see why in a minute) about those people that are up at the counter for forever. What’s the problem? Do you have a reservation? Yes? Then get up to the counter, show your passport, hand over luggage and get goin’!! Don’t you see the line of 76 people behind you? Let’s get the show on the road! No talking on your phone! No standing around looking confused!! Get your ticket and get out of line! Or just get out of line all together! Man, at 11:45 at night, after 45 min of running around after my kid, I was done with them.

It’s our turn at the counter. Whoo HOOOO!!! The lady asks for our itinerary. I said I don’t have it. I almost always never bring it. My printer hasn’t been working and I’m too lazy to print it out anywhere else. I tell her we are on the flight to Costa Rica then on to Ecuador. She types on her little computer for what seems like a long time and then says, “You were on the flight going to Guatemala. Your flight was cancelled”. So for you reading out there, that means that our itinerary was to take us to LAX, then Guatemala, then Costa Rica, then Quito and THEN to Guayaquil. Right now I’m thinking of saying a very bad word to Travelocity, but I won’t for the gentleness of my readers. But I’ll just let you imagine what it is… You’re wrong. I was going to call them a rat bastard.

So we learn that our flight has been cancelled. I’m upset at this point, but not yet to the point of panic. The lady at the counter said to go down to the other counter, and there was a “special line” for those of us whose flight was cancelled. We walk down where she’s told us and there is a person from the airline there. She points to ANOTHER line to the right of us that has approx 200 people in it and says, “That’s the line there”. Panic starts to creep in. Then I ask “what happened to the flight” and she said “They only have 4 flights a day. This was the last flight of the night. They sent the wrong size of plane. They were supposed to send one size, but they sent another, and then something happened with that plan. So the flight is just cancelled. The next flight goes out tomorrow at 2 pm, but we are already over-booked by 50 people and we are asking for volunteers to give up their seats. And the flight after that we are booked over by 40 people, so I don’t t think you’ll be on that one either. So you’ll probably get on the one going 24 hours from now.” The Panic has arrived. Full mind blowing panic. We are the VEEEEERY last in a long long line of people, and my baby is squirming.

Squirming is an understatement. She treated the 2 hour sleep in LAX as a nap rather than what it really was: the beginning of her night of full sleep. So she’s got crazy energy. Mind blowing energy. When you pick her up, she is twisting, and turning and arching to get out of your arms. And then you put her down and she runs right over and pushes someone’s luggage over. Or pushed over a birthday-gift package they have wrapped ready to go. Or tries to climb up into that x-ray machine again with the scary security guys looking at you. And tries to eat dirt and mud pieces off the floor. I grab her arm and she tries to peel my fingers off her while simultaneously dropping her bum down in attempts to weasel away from me. It’s my worse fear realized And we have hours of this to go. It’s now 12:20 and I call my mother so I can melt down.

And BOY DO I MELT DOWN!!! Walking back and forth in the airport, crying, trying not to shout as I vent. I am full on making a spectacle of myself. The term “drama queen” comes to mind more than once, but I’m running on no sleep from that night, and only 3 hours from the night before. So the fatigue is really adding to my meltdown.

I say “how can they just abandon 200 people here? Don’t they have another plane? Don’t they have anything?” My mom assured me that they would probably put us in a hotel, but that was no consolation for me, because it was going to mess up my baby even more. It was at this time of my melt down that someone in a suit took notice of Marcelo and I and was taking him away! Holy crap! They think that we are using our kid to bypass security and we’ve been tagged as suspicious! I kid. They of course were taking pity on us. The airline had called in like 4 or 5 upper level workers to try to make miracles happen. We were pushed to the front of a line I would soon realize was the “families with small children” line of which I was the only one sobbing like a hysterical freak.

So we get to the counter where a guy starts typing. And I swear he’s typing for like 20 min. And then he comes back and says that they are going to get us a hotel, but that the first time we can get on a plane is the next night at 2 am. O sea in 24 hours. I hear the news and then I start crying again. This pattern continues on and on. We keep getting new helpers and they keep doing the same thing. Typing for 20-30 min and then telling us that we can only get on a plane the next night. And then I start crying again. And then someone says that maybe we can get on one that morning at 6 am. Not ideal, but still an option. But then no, we can’t get that one either. And I start crying. Lather, repeat.

And then we hear about one going out at 2:20 this very morning! It seems almost too good to be true. But then they say no, we’ll have to wait 24 hours. And what about our bags? And then back to typing for 29 min. Additional people are called in. Supervisors, luggage people. At one time, I look over from where I am with the baby, and at the counter in front of Marcelo are 6 airline people. No kidding!! We were TOTALLY those people that I was yelling at before. You know, the “get your tickets and move on, people!” I was just going on about. And we had been at the counter for well over an hour and half. Oh, the irony!

The time ticks away. My baby is still running around crazy. It’s 12:30 then 1 then 1:30. Which is 2:30 am Utah time. My baby is still going strong. As I look around, I come to notice that during all my crying drama and baby chasing I haven’t noticed that the line of 200 people has dropped to like 7! Nothing like before And then we get the news: We are on the flight to Costa Rica! The direct flight! It means we will make our connection and get to Ecuador at the original time. Why didn’t Travelocity just give us that flight in the first place? Who knows? Let’s all say it together. . . .RAT BASTARD

We get this news at about 1:45 am. They said that we are confirmed and they’ve moved over the luggage and now all we have to do it take care of the “kid tax.” (They told us back in Salt Lake that this might happen and we would have to pay anywhere from $20 to $400 for our lap child to fly internationally. Better than the cost of a ticket, right?) Anyway they shoot us over to the end of the counter and we are told it will cost $170 for our kid. We are shocked but are told by them that this price is CHEEP for what it usually costs. And that it’s a roundtrip price, so we won’t have to pay again. Whatever, anything to get us on that plane.

It’s now 1:50 am, and I hear us get paged! The flight is set to leave at 2:20 am and we are being paged. I ask the “baby ticket” guy if they know we are here. He says not to worry about it. It’s going to be fine. Notice he doesn’t answer my question? He just tells me it’ll be fine.

More typing. They should go to typing classes or something. At 2:00 am we are paged again. I look around we are ALONE in the terminal. We have 5 airline workers and 3 baggage x-ray machine guys around us looking at my baby saying how cute she is. I don’t give a crap. We’ve been paged twice DO THEY KNOW WE ARE HERE?!?!?! At around 2:05 the “baby ticked” guys drops the F-Bomb. Loudly. Apparently when he went to print the ticket the machine jammed and now he has to start over almost from the beginning. Yeah, I think the F-word was definitely warranted in this situation.

At 2:10 we are paged again. And I realize that when we eventually get our tickets, we are going to have to RUUUUUUN to make it. Luckily I have my running shoes on. AND I’ve been working out. I’m not worried about stamina. But I am worried about luggage.

A quick word abut what we are carrying. I have my stroller, a large OVERFLOWING “baby bag” and my baby sling. The baby sling was on at this time with the baby in it preparation for running. And why wasn’t the baby in the stroller? Well, because Marcelo had THREE things he carried with him: a shoulder bag, a small carry-on bag and then a box of pots and pans that Tito Garcia asked us to bring to him.

(Judd! I saw Tito! He’s still so funny. But not so skinny anymore. I don’t mean that he’s a tub of lard. Not even close! But he’s not a stick figure anymore. Let’s just say he can no longer hide behind just a single jungle plant leaf. . .it would now take two. His wife is super cute-like braces at 23 cute-and they have a daughter named Yvette who looks JUST LIKE HIM! He always makes me laugh and we are going out as a double couple sometime in the next week. I do hope some Chifa and a Manzana soda will be on the menu! I’ll let you know how it goes.)

So in preparation for running I figure it’s better to load up the stroller and then run with the baby in arms. At finally like 2:14 we get tickets. One of the workers says she will accompany us and we start going. Again, there is NO ONE THERE in the security lines. So that’s a blessing. But they still take a butt-long time screening us. We strip down and get everything through the gate and then we are off running aging with untied shoes and belts hanging down off our pants. When we get to the gate, I was like “we are Alicia Marcelo and Evelyn Loor” and they are like “where were you? We were paging you!” EEEEFFFF YOU TACA AIRLINES!!!!

Getting on the plane I can see that they are moving people around so we can all sit together. Marcelo later told me that the guy in the seat we eventually got was told “you need to move” and when he protested they were like “I don’t care. You need to get up now and move” HA! So they did something right!

We sat down, they closed the doors and we left!! Lots of people on the plane were looking at us like it was our fault. And I wanted to stand up and make an announcement that it was the fault of the airline and that we’ve been ready to go for hours!! But it didn’t matter. We were gone. Funny thing, our baby didn’t want to sleep still! She was crawling and going crazy for the first hour of the plane ride. It was like 3 am which was 4 am Utah time and she had only slept 2 hours. She’s the freaking energizer bunny. And then finally she calmed down and went to sleep (when the lady behind us finally turned off her overhead light. Apparently that copy of Cosmo magazine was just too good to put down at 3 am!!)

Surprisingly, the rest of the trip went off without a hitch!! All of our luggage arrived, no one tried to steal my baby, and my in-laws were waiting for us. They are crazy for this little girl, just like I knew they would be. Everyone is. She’s going to have a rude awakening when we get back to real life. And for all the complaining about the breastfeeding, I’m so freaking happy I did it. It’s my saving grace. She was able to get right back on her normal schedule without any hiccups. Seriously! She’s sleeping through the night and my sister in-law Anita said, “Did she just go to bed like that? (snaps fingers) How did you do that?” it made me happy.

I’ll be taking credit for getting us on the early plane. Even though I know it was due to all the work of the supervisors and airline workers, I like to think that I was just a hysterical hot mess and they just wanted to get rid of me. If I hadn’t started crying, I don’t think that we would’ve gotten that 2:20 am flight. I expect to be praised and worshiped by Marcelo and Evi forever for this.

Ok, one more thing before I go. The food is all I expected it to be! The fruits are a dream come true. My mother in law won’t let me cook or clean at all. She’s CRAAAAZY possessive about her kitchen. But she’s been really good about letting me into her kitchen to grab food for my baby. . . unless she doesn’t like what I’m giving her then she’ll take whatever it is that I’m giving Evi out of my hand and make her something else entirely different. Ahhh, Latin mother-in-laws!

Well, I wish I could put some pictures for you. Sorry, no time. If you are still at the end of this post, you are a trooper!

But now I’m going to have some naranjilla juice. Jealous?

Sick to my Stomach

T-Minus 90 min till we leave for the airport. In a little under 24 hours it will all be over. I am seriously sick to my stomach.

I'm going on like 3 hours of sleep here, no food (See above comment) and a serious case of jitters. I'm surprised I didn't throw up already. I almost did this morning, but it passed.

By the way, I am absolutely not pregnant, if anyone was going to say the sickness was caused by that.

My baby is snuggling with Raya right now. I'm really going to miss the puppy girl. But she's going to be on a vacation of her own very soon: Nonstop frolicking with her niece. I expect to come back to a skinny minny dog.

Have I mentioned how nervous I am. They are ALLLLL coming to the airport to pick us up. I'm going to be on like no sleep, and I have to look fresh for all of Marcelo's family. Why did I ever think this was a good idea with a kid?

Please wish me luck! And send a quick prayer out to Evi tonight. And tomorrow. . .Cause we'll still be traveling then.

Lemon OUT!

Finally taking its toll

I'm finally there: I'm really horribly lonely and missing Marcelo. I didn't think it would happen because we've almost made it all the way through. He gets home in like 5 days! But until then, I don't know what to do with myself.

To add to that little depressing fact is this truth: Evi is crazy. She just screams all the time for no reason. She follows me round the house screaming. I can't make her happy. I can't give her anything to make her happy. She throws herself on the ground and smacks her head, and then starts screaming again from the pain. I pick her up and she arches her back and pries herself out of my arms. So I set her on the ground where she, you guessed it, starts screaming again. Hours upon hours of screaming I don't know how much more I can take.

Add to that the fact that I'm trying (kinda trying) to lose weight before Ecuador. As the time gets closer, I'm not so much excited as scared out of my mind. There are so many unpredictable factors once we get there, and I'm trying to plan ahead to make myself feel less stressed out, but it's not working because nothing can be planned. Marcelo won't talk to his mother, so I have no idea what she's planning for us. And if she plans something and I plan something, she'll be horribly offended. It's very stressful. I don't know how to deal with all the worry. And my kid is screaming.

It's mostly the screaming kid that's killing me. But what can I do? Nothing. So I'm going now.

Thanks for listening to me.

. . . With Noithing But a Dance Belt and a Tube of Chapstick: Part 1

If someone can name the movie that that quote comes from WITHOUT CHEATING you get a prize. I'm not kidding. I will come to your house and make you dinner. Unless you live in TX. Then I'm not going. But I'm serious, NO CHEATING!! You have to know where that comes from off the top of your head.

So what is this post about? Well, it's about how we went down to LA on Tuesday night. It's a long story. I'll try to sum up quickly.

Marcelo has a permanent resident card, but that only allows him to come back to the USA. To travel to any other country (including his country of origin) he needs a passport from that country. And his Ecuador passport expires in April.

We would be able to renew it VERY EASILY in Ecuador, but we need it valid BEFORE we travel back there. So that means we need to go to an Embassy or Consulate somewhere in this country. There is an office in LA and an office in San Francisco so naturally we would be going to LA because 1)it's closer and 2) we can pass through Las Vegas on the way back for Marcelo's most beloved king crab legs. DUH!!

So for a long long time I've tried to get Marcelo to commit to going. I wanted to plan the trip, make hotel arrangements, find maps online, you know the works. He wouldn't commit. He kept putting it off. We made up a tentative plan of our schedule so he knew what to expect. The original plan was this:

Wed-Drive to Vegas. Stay the night in Vegas
Thursday-Drive VERY EARLY to L.A. Get Passport renewed. Drive back to Vegas. Spend Second night in Vegas
Friday-Drive home.

A pretty long trip, but broken up nicely and easy to remember. Well, on Tuesday (his last day of school for the week before Spring Break) and he comes back from school and we start talking about going. He says. "well if we are going to go tomorrow, I should get the tires checked out". So he heads off to the tire store.

I post that blog about which freeway to take, thinking that I'll get a few responses before I leave the next day. However, Marcelo comes back from the tire place and says, "let's just go now. I want to get this over with. Let's just drive all the way to L.A. tonight."

You should know it was like 6pm when he said this. I was cooking Evelyn dinner. Nothing was packed, no hotels were reserved, no maps printed out, NOTHING! But he just wanted it to happen. OK!! Let's do it!

We quickly found a place for our dog to go, and then we started running around like mad. The plan was to get Evy ready for bed like normal, but then put her in the car seat and just start driving. The hope was she would sleep for a long time. We packed and were on the road.

The drive down to L.A. was pretty uneventful. I wish I would've known about taking the 10 to the 210. But we did get there VERY early (right around 5 am) and there was very little traffic. And it was just easier for me to take the 10 all the way. Marcelo is TERRIFIED to drive in big cities and he's horrible at reading maps. So I didn't want to have to look at the map MIENTRAS driving in L.A. and just taking the 10 all the way there accomplished that for me

However, on a side note, while there was not a *lot* of traffic, there was still some!! At like 4:45 am!! What the crap? Why are there that many drivers on the road at that horrible hour? Who is commuting at 4:45? If you are awake and going to work at 4:45 you need to speak to a specialist about some workaholic issues you got going on. And maybe this is just my opinion, but pre-5 am drivers are WAAAYY more aggressive than normal L.A. drivers. It's like they are manic about getting to where they want to be before the massive amounts of traffic come out.


Anyway, the Ecuador Embassy is located in the Larry Flint (AKA Hustler Magazine) building on Wilshire Blvd of downtown Beverly Hills. I am talking RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF BEVERLY HILLS!! I could only find one grocery store and no Target. I know: I asked some scary Phillis Neffler look-alikes if they could help me. So no regular stores. However if I needed to buy a luxury car I could choose anything from the Lexus, Mercedes, Aston Martin, BMW, Lotus, Jaguar or Ferrari dealerships all surrounding me. Apparently those in Beverly Hills don't need to eat or buy moderatly priced housewares, but they DO need fancy new cars! Holy inferiority complex, Batman!

When we got to the building, we were VERY early. It didn't open till 9 and we were there at 5:30. UGGH!!! We tried to get our kid to sleep, but she wasn't having it. So we found a really nice Beverly Hills park and I took our child out to play in the sand while Marcelo got another 90 minutes of sleep. I chatted on the phone with my mom-I love that my mom talks to you when you are driving late at night so you can stay awake. It's her thing. She told me to call her at any hour if I needed to talk. However, a combo of Diet Dr. Pepper and sunflower seeds had me WIRED!! I guess all that sleep deprivation from motherhood has finally started to do me some good.

Other side note on people of Beverly Hills: They are angry all the time. I've never been honked at so much while driving. Like if I was turning into some driveway and the person didn't like my turning speed? HOOOOOOOOOOOONNK!! Apparently money doesn't make you happier; It just makes you a bigger dill-hole.

So when the building opened we went inside and I was instantly reminded of why I don't miss Ecuador some days. Now, this is TOTALLY my opinion, but I think that those from Ecuador are just used to things being difficult. They just expect that life will suck, and that there is no other way. And they just accept it. We Americans don't accept much of anything. We question our bill from the Denny's. ("Did you order a drink AND a milkshake? It just seems like a big charge for a drink. I think I'll ask them about it"). But Ecuadorians are much more likely to be like, "Oh, man, we just got screwed over. DANG!! Oh, well, I guess it's my turn to be screwed over. Too bad!!" And then they just go on with their day. Americans would be much more in your face like "Um, I'm going to need to speak with your manager. . .. NOW!!"

The way I saw this happen on this day was because the "system" went down and everyone was stuck waiting around waiting to see if it came back. The "system" was never fully defined for us, but we all joked around that it was some sort of waffle making/picture taking apparatus that needed to speak with Ecuador and Ecuador was offline at that time. We had fun joking about it. They told us that we might have to come back tomorrow. Like we lived down the street or something!! And Marcelo was just going to be like "What can we do? We have to come back tomorrow!" And I was ANNOYED!! Seriously annoyed.

Remember, at this point I had been running on 1 hour of sleep from the previous night. The Diet Dr. Pepper had been out of my system for hours at that time and I had a hungry/whiny baby. Oh, and I was hungry. I didn't have dinner or breakfast (unless you consider sunflower seeds at 3 am breakfast). And when I went to find a bathroom, I was told that I had to go to the basement of the building next to valet parking where they made me use a KEY like I was freaking in the 3rd grade and they had to "regulate" who used their bathroom. I mean, it's freaking Wilshire Blvd! I just watched you valet park a Lamborghini! The people around her drive $150,000 cars!! And you don't trust them in your public bathrooms? And then they told me I had to come back? I'M GOING TO NEED TO SPEAK TO A MANAGER RIGHT NOW!!!

Luckily the mysterious "system" came back on line and we got out of there around noon. Not too bad, right? We went to get some food. Correction, we went and INHALED some food and then got back on the road to go back to Vegas.

I'm going to do the second part of our trip tomorrow. But I just want to add something here: My husband is a TOTALLY different man when he's around his own people. He's funny, life of the part and the "class clown". He's so much fun and just so funny to be around. Sometimes it's hard to remember why you got married when the baby is sick and you have no money and you are annoyed with each other. But sitting there in that tiny little room, watching my husband joke and laugh and have a good time, I was reminded of just how much fun he is, why I fell in love with him and how much I love him. Oh man, now I'm REALLY looking forward to June.

Ok, that's enough for today. More on this trip tomorrow!

Ecuador, HERE WE COME!!!

I bought our plane tickets today. Does everyone get that little adrenaline rush when they buy something that they know is non-refundable? I know I do.

And the websites kept changing the prices on me. One time it would be $538 and then I would go to the website, and they said the price jumped to $714. I was getting REALLY upset. But then I read something online that told me the best time to look for tickets is Tuesday night at midnight. So I did it last night, but then I was too tired to do an extensive search. Plus baby was asleep and I worried about waking her.

So I just took care of it right now. And I got a great deal!! I'm so excited, it's really happening. Baby girl is going to LOVE it!! The cobblestone streets, the toothless merchants, the beaches. Oh, I'm so excited!!!

I really want to post some pictures here, but I can't put in any of my own photos because I don't have a scanner. Nor do I have the photos on disks. But I do have tons of them. I've been meaning to convert those to CD's for a while. Does anyone know where I can get that done cheap.

Anyway, I'm going to post some pictures I found online:

Here's the Ecuadorian White House. Look how unprotected it is.
I asked Marcelo and he said the president doesn't live there all the time like our president lives in the D.C. White House. But still!! Maybe put up a fence or something? Moving on.

This is Volcano Tungurahua
That's not something unusual to see it going off all the time. This volcano was ALWAYS spewing ash all over.

The markets:
where I will be feeding my Maracuya addiction daily

And finally the beaches
Oh, I'm so excited to go!!!

The Eyes Have It

There was this Elder in my mission from Bolivia named Elder Mendoza. Besides the fact that he was totally in love with me, he was just fun to be around. But my favorite part about him was his eyes. He had the most clear blue intense beautifully shaped eyes with the worlds longest lashes attached. They were really something to behold. My mission readers will have to back me up on this.

I told another one of my companions (who was also from Bolivia) that I would marry Elder Mendoza just so our kids could have his eyes. She told me that he was from Santa Cruz, Boliva and compared to all the smokin' hotties there, he was downright ugly. I told her she was full of crap, but she assured me that he would only score a 2 out of 10 in Santa Cruz. It made me want to go to Santa Cruz RIGHT THEN.

Anyway, I never did marry Elder Mendoza. Obviously. (Not like he didn't try, though) Nor did I ever get to see the supposedly gorgeous men of Santa Cruz. But the point of my rambling is that I don't know where my daughter gets her beautiful eyes!

Marcelo says they are all from him. But his eyes look nothing like his! He says they are the same as his sister and I'm inclined to believe him for now espeically becuase I haven't seen his sister in over 5 years and he grew up seeing her every day. But I'll let you know after I come back from Ecuador if that's really true.

Point of story: Even though I didn't marry Elder Mendoza, I did get a child with beautiful eyes and perfectly curly lush eyelashes. AWESOME!!

So Judd, I have a question for you: Based on beautiful-ness of eyes, would you rather be trapped in an elevator for 8 hours with Elder Mendoza or Elder Bermeo while the entire CD of Baladas Forever INCLUDING "Hotel California" played nonstop?

Chévere, Bacán, Champú

Marcelo said this phrase today and it made me really happy: Chévere, Bacán, Champú. They say this all the time in Ecuador, and it's been a REALLY long time since I've heard it.

Chévere and bacán basically mean "awesome" and "cool" and are used almost interchangeably. And champú means "Shampoo". So basically you are saying "Cool, Awesome, Shampoo". I don't know why they say it. But it's just awesome. And it makes me smile.

What was that thing that you and Refijo used to say, Judd? Something about Cho Chos and Pinchos? Remind me again.

Oh, and Judd, you need to tell the story of Jasper the mouse here on my blog. I'll give you my password and you can be my "guest blogger". I think everyone would agree with me on this.

Oats and Hay

Hermana Storhow once told me about the story of the oats and the hay. She said that horses really want oats to eat. It's the best tasting to them, and they love it. However, it's expensive, so lots of time the farmers will give them hay. They don't like it at first but then they start to get used to it, and then they start to see it as the only food source possible. She said that you shouldn't sell yourself short, ALWAYS REMEMBER THE OATS.

So as part of my "count down" to Ecuador series, I will share with you some of my "oat" stories from Ecuador. Things that you did (or didn't do) because for so long all you saw was "hay" in your life. And I would ask all of you to please share your stories with me as well. They don't have to be mission stories. They can be life stories.

The first moment I have is when I made someone else realize they were eating hay. See, in Ecuador, the mail system works like this: You have a letter ready to be mailed, you take it to the Post Office. They stamp it for you, and then they put a whole bunch of rubber ink stamps on it and send it off for you. When I had been in the country about 3 weeks, we went to the Post Office and did our little routine. But then I asked to buy like 10 extra stamps.

The mail worker looked at me like I was crazy. Hermana Rose looked at me like I was crazy. And then she asked me why I did that. I said. "You know, so I can write my letters and mail them off and not have to take them to the window every time." Rose said, "I never thought of that. Ha! I never would've thought of doing that."

I was thinking to myself. "What? Why wouldn't you think of buying stamps and then affixing them to your letters and then dropping them in the mailbox? THAT'S HOW YOU MAIL A LETTER!!" See, she had forgotten the oats. She was so used to doing it that way she forgot about how you really should mail letters. Later she told me that she thought that we had to take them to the window so they could rubber stamp them. Like the paper stamps weren't valid without the rubber ink stamped on them too. She told me this AFTER I had sent about 5 letters to friends and family. THANKS!!! (I acutlaly think that the letters got there anyway)

However, I think that my favorite "oats and hay" moment came with Hermana Godfrey. OR was it Judd? I'm pretty sure it was Godfrey. But any of my past missionary companions that read my blog feel free to correct me if wrong. This is how the conversation went down:

Missionary 1: Oh, when we go home for lunch, remind me to call our afternoon appointments to make sure they will be there.
Missionary 2: YOU CAN CALL PEOPLE?!?!

I'm pretty sure I was Missionary 2. In my first, third and last areas almost no one had phones. You had to go to their house at the appointment times and hope that they remembered and were there. And if you had to walk, take a bus and then walk again for a total travel time of 4 hours round trip and they weren't there? Well, that was all part of being a missionary. In my second area, many of our people we taught had phones and we could call ahead.

However, I think that most of the time we didn't. It was just habit. We were enjoying the hay, forgetting all about the oats.

Other hay/oat items:
* Washing your clothes and dishes in cold water and not realizing you can wash them in warm water.
* Realizing that you don't have to be electrocuted during a shower.
* Flushing toilet paper
* Putting up with those nasty horse blankets that have been in those houses since primordial man first crawled out of the ocean.

I realize this post is very Ecuador specific. But please feel free to comment on any experiences in your life when you realized you were munching on hay when there was a big bowl of oats right next to you and you smacked your head realizing that you too had forgotten about the oats.

phone calls

Countdown to Ecuador

I am so excited to go back to Ecuador at the end of May. I know it's 6 months away, but I am just so excited. I chatted online with Quimis yesterday, and it made me so homesick for Ecuador.

And why do I love it so much? Well here are the top 10 reasons I love Ecuador and am looking forward to going back:

1. The food. Seriously, were you expecting something else to be number 1? UGGH!!! THE FOOD!!! The fruits and juices: Maracuya, naranjilla, chirimoya, guanabana. My mouth is watering just thinking about it. And then there are my favorite restaurants: The Fruteria and this one place in San Pedro (AKA San Rafael). When I talked to Quimis yesterday he told me that it is still there. AND it's even bigger then before! They make this grilled chicken that melts off the bone and they have this potato/mani sauce that is so delicious. That is one of the only good memories I have with Muriel: we would go there all the time and the owner loved us. Sometimes they would be out of chicken for the night, but he would put 2 more pieces on the grill just for us. We took our whole zone there one P-day. I'm not kidding, it's amazing. I can't wait to go.

2. The beach. I think I've talked extensively about my hatred for the beach in Eureka. but just to sum up: It's cold and dirty and I come home with sand in my chones every time I go. I don't like being cold and the beach has always equaled unhappiness for me. I have always dreamed of going somewhere where the beach is HOT. Marcelo told me this is the case in Ecuador. So he promised me we will get to go to the beach there.

3. My family. I love my in-laws. I don't know if I love them BECAUSE they are so far away, or if I would love them so much if they were closer. But I do love them. And they love me. I'm the beautiful American who married their favorite son and took him away to the land of milk and honey. And I spawned a beautiful Loor-child that they are going to fawn over non-stop when I get there. I just really love and respect my in-laws and I think that they are great people. I'm excited to see them.

4. The people. I love the people of Ecuador. It took me a while to figure them out, but now that I have I have total unconditional love for them. Even when they tell you RIGHT TO YOUR FACE that you are fat, I don't really care anymore. Becuase I know what they are really saying. They are just good people and I am so happy that I'm eternally connected to them.

5. The places. Banos, Quito, Mitad del Mundo, Quevedo, Santo Domingo, Guayaquil, Ambato. I love all the places of Ecuador. (except maybe that trash dump right next to our house in Carapungo. AKA the toilet bowl of North Quito. Am I right, Judd?) Anyway, I love traveling all over and seeing different parts of the country. I think Ecuador is like the 2nd or 3rd smallest country in the whole continent, so it's really easy to know so many different parts of it. I am looking forward to getting to know Otavalo, Manabi and Esmereldes. I'm SO excited.

6. The language. I've really started to notice over the last 2 months that my language skills have dropped off DRAMATICALLY. I blame Marcelo because he never speaks to me in Spanish.:) But I'm so excited to go back and remember all that I've forgotten. And to learn much more then I ever knew before. I'm very excited to brush up on my Spanish skillz.

7. The mountains and volcanoes. I love how Ecuador is so green. The hills are all covered in trees and bushes and everything is just so moist and green. And the volcanoes are going off all the time. They are smoking and pumping out ash and soot and it's GREAT. I can't wait to go back and see them looking all fresh and clean after a rain. Ahh, mountains.

8. The buses. I don't know why, but I LOVE the bus system in Ecuador. You can get a bus to anywhere at almost any time. There might be a bloody chicken on the floor, or children might throw-up at sometime during your 4 hour drive to Quito. You just never know what will happen. Or you have a lady with giant bags of fried pork skins that make the whole back of the bus smell like burnt bacon. Oh man, I've had some GOOD TIMES on buses.

9. The places I've never been. As I've already stated, I'm excited to go back to Ecuador to visit some of the places that I've never been before. And I'm even more excited to take my family with me. I don't have 100% confirmations yet, but I've been told that my mom, Jaris, Julie and MaxKyle are all possibilities to go. I would REALLY love Jeff and Tina and their family to go. Maybe just Kyrie? I'm not sure, but I'm excited to see these places with my family.

10: Finally, I'm so excited to go because Marcelo is a different person in Ecuador. He lights up and is the life of the party. He dances and sings and plays and he's the person I fell in love with. He's so happy and I'm happy to see him like that. I think that no one in the U.S. has ever seen him like that, and I think it's about time that he gets his groove back.

So that's my list. What are your favorite parts of Ecuador?

Bored

I am blissfully bored today. And why is that? Because both Jean AND Dan have gone to a conference in Phoenix until next Monday. Jean left yesterday at like 9 am. So the whole day was Jean-free. And Jamie was here helping me, so I got 100% caught up on everything. So now I'm sitting here wondering what to do. I'm sure I can think of something.

I called Judd last night, and we somehow got started talking mission stories. We were together right in the middle of both our missions so some of the stories we have the other one hasn't heard. She told me about how one time her DL said they couldn't teach someone because they didn't know how to read, and Judd said, "Well, you know, as WELFARE sisters, we have been SPECIFICALLY trained on how to teach someone to read." And that dips**t missionary (excuse my language) says, "OHHHHH don't get me going about your 'welfare' training! (apparently he even did the air quotes too) That's just an excuse for you to be lazy."

Now, you need to know something about Judd. She is from the South. She is all civility and gentility and sweetness UNTIL YOU CROSS HER. Seriously, she has a way to knock you down and put her shoe on your throat so you don't DARE make a move. (verbally speaking, that is) This was one of those times. It should also be noted that the elders that were questioning her work ethic had ONLY been out of their home ONE DAY that week. Can anyone guess what day that might have been? If you guessed P-day, then you are right. Also you should know that Judd is a Missionary working MANIAC. Seriously, a workaholic, people.

So Judd LOSES it. She starts yelling (in Spanish) about how they, the wise and great elders, have only been outside one day that week, so they must know ALL about being lazy, right? And even though they do hours and hours of welfare stuff every week, her and her companion's numbers are consistently the highest in the whole ZONE! To emphasize this, she picks up all the papers that are going to be mailed to the president that week (probably 30 in total) and flings them at this moron elder's face. Papers and silence distill upon the group.

What would you give to have been there and seen the looks on all their faces? I would've given my left boob to see that. Finally, after a few moments of stunned silence, the moron elder's NOT so moronic companion says, "Hna Judd, we KNOW that the welfare sisters work hard." Judd of course felt silly because she had made such a huge fuss, but you know what? That elder didn't dare open his mouth to her the rest of the time she was in his district. How could he with her foot on his throat?

Anyway, I loved this story. I had a few to share of my own that she hadn't heard, so we had a good chat for a while. And then her little girl fell down and hit her head and she had to get off the phone.

But Judd and I had some GREAT times on the mission. I think we had fun together, but I also think we had LOTS of fun apart. So being able to get together and share stories with each other about the times that we weren't together makes it that much better. And talking with her made me miss Ecuador so much. Especially when Marcelo said we could buy a condo on the beach in Manta for like $30,000. I REALLY WANT THAT, especially right now when I look outside and it's STILL storming here in Utah.

Anyway, here are some things I miss about Ecuador:

*They don't refrigerate hardly anything. Even the things that SHOULD be refrigerated 100% of the time. I'm talking like milk, eggs, cheese, fruits, vegetables, meat. . . I could go on, but why should I? I actually never worried that I bought my eggs off the street, out of a little bodega that JUST sells eggs, and there was nothing in there but palates and palates of them. It seemed natural to do it like that. Why mess with Ecuadorian wisdom? (It's not like they have weird theories about food and TREES, right Reagan?)

Also, they usually go to the market once a day to get the freshest stuff. Why do you need a fridge if you go shopping every day and there is no such thing as leftovers in your house? I wouldn't have one either. In my first home, there were 6 girls living there and we had a fridge the size of one of those "college" fridges. And there was always plenty of room. That's because K-Chitos don't need to be refrigerated. Am I right people? (I REALLY WANT SOME K-Chitos RIGHT NOW!!!)

* The million varieties of corn. In the high mountain areas of Ecuador, they are known for their corn. I know that many of you have seen that "Mexican" corn also called hominy. Ecuador looks at that one type of corn and they spit on it!! Imagine if you went to a store that had NOTHING BUT CORN. You no longer have to imagine, such places exist in Ecuador. We are talking bags and bags of different sizes, colors, shapes styles of corn. There had to be 30+ varieties. This is the ONLY good memory I have of Hermana Eckert (she was my companion aged 66, remember?). We found this great store outside the huérfanas' house in San Rafael and we bought like 10 different kinds. Why? Because we were OBSESSED with "tosados." (If you don't know what tostados are, I'll look for a picture for you.) They have a similar product in stores, and it's basically dried corn that's fried. Almost like Corn Nuts. But Corn nuts are REALLY hard and break your teeth, where as tosados burst open in the frying process and so they are all soft and salty and delicious.

Well, we wanted to see how all these different varieties would be if we tried to make tosados out of all of them. Let me tell you, that was the only day I ate with Hermana Eckert. (Most days I feigned a stomach ache and continued down my destructive cycle of anorexia) But we had a blast frying up those corn kernels and seeing which ones popped open, and which ones stayed in a tight ball like Cornuts. Like I said, it was my only good day with her. (other than the day she left, that is) The best ones were the little ones. They burst open. The big ones were stubborn and didn't want to do anything (that's what she said). Moving on

*Using halls Mentho-lyptus as an "after dinner mint". I honestly miss that!! I don't know why they think that cough drops are good for after dinner palate refreshers, but they do. Even in high end upscale restaurants they use these. And the Latinos LOVE them. They sell them at little tiendas for like 3 cents or 5 cents a piece, and kids decide they want to waste their money on them instead of good old-fashioned-rot-your-teeth sugar.

The first time I got a cold after we were married, I bought a package of these at the store, and Marcelo asked me what they were. I said they were to clear my nose and throat. He asked if he could try one and I said of course, but they are medicine, so he might not like them. I had obviously forgotten about the fact that my husband's palate has been trained to recognize this particular taste as decadent. He ate the whole bag. I had to go and buy myself some more, because my husband ate the WHOLE BAG. Ahhh, Latinos.

That's all I can think of right now. Well, that's not true. I got about a million other things that I miss about Ecuador floating around in my brain right now. But Jean's annoying niece/turd from next door keeps popping over here to try and snoop on my computer and see what I'm doing. I'm going to tell her the next time she comes over, "whew! You almost caught me looking at my stash of work porn. It's some I've compiled just for work; I have another stash of home porn". It would serve her right to get a smack of sarcasm in her face. And I would love if that sarcasm was attached to my hand.

I love it when Jean is out of town!! I hope the rest of the week is as "boring" as today!

A New Post for Lynn

Lynn told me that I need to post something new. Not only did she tell me that, but she also clued me in that also that today is TAT's Birthday. (That's Tiffany Amber Thiessen for you laymen). I think Marcelo and I should celebrate this momentous occasion with a can of 7-up and some chicken. Thanks Lynn.

As for her comment that I need to post again, well, I think that everyone needs to post more. And none of this "I like the color blue!" crappy posts. I want something that's going to make me snort chocolate milk out my nose as I read. Or some pictures of yourself in a very compromising and/or embarrassing situation. (All of my current photos fall under that category because I'm roughly the size of a barge)

So I will do my best to give you a snort worth post right now. Well, I'll just tell you that I'm loving the fact that everyone is out of town right now. Except for the fact that I'll get text messages every 20 minutes or so where she tells me to do things. She'll ask me questions and then TOTALLY ignore my answers. Like she'll ask me (multiple times, mind you) if she needs to call someone, and I'll say, "No, I've taken care of it" and then a while later she sends me a message saying, "Well, I called them. It's all taken care of."

I'm thinking. "Uh, yeah, I know it is, because I'M FREAKING TAKING CARE OF IT!" Every once in a while she'll send a message saying, "URGENT. Please call _______." And then I'll call them and it will be so NOT urgent.

Today I got a text from her saying that I need to call Nordstrom and make plans to go pick up some pants for her. You know, they are a part of one of her "cruise outfits" and she wouldn't want to have one less pair of pants for her cruise. HEAVEN FORBID. Oh, did I mention they are VELVET pants? I think that if you have any amount of fat on your legs, you shouldn't wear velvet pants. You might start a fire with the legs rubbing together.

Anyway, I called Nordstrom and told them that they need to put the pants back on hold and she would come to pick them up next week. Let's see when she says when she finds out I didn't pick them up, but I just deferred it for another week so she could do it. Hell, who are we kidding? I'll be the one picking them up next week.

Last Jean story, I swear. (I think that Lynn is the only one that gets anything out of these stories because she's actually EXPERIENCED the crazy that is Jean. I mean others may enjoy these stories, but there's just something that you can't put into words, that just has to be experienced first hand. Call it Jean's "Crazy Musk.") Anyway, today she texts me and says that she can't get a certain email attachment to open on her iPhone. She asks me to open it and re-send it.

Do you want do know what the email was it? I'm sure you do. It was from her builder and it was a picture of her theater room for her new house. It was more like a schematic layout computerized version showing how the walls would be decorated and painted. There was a full shot and an "up close" shot. Well, I'm almost ready to leave for the day and I just have time to do that before I leave.

So I open the file and send it. Well, after I was home she sends me a message saying, "still having problems opening file. Send it again, but send it to other email address. Also, send the email to Lani too. URGENT."

Really? It's desperately urgent that you see a digitally created mock up of your theater room that won't be ready for another 5 months? That's what's so crucially urgent? I didn't agree. So I ignored the text until tomorrow. What can she do? She's golfing in San Diego. Suck it, Jean.

Oh, and I need to send out an apology to my lobster. I didn't call you on your birthday. I'm sorry. I thought about it all day Monday and then TOTALLY forgot about it on Tuesday. And then I remembered it again today. I love you, and I'm sorry.

And I guess it goes without saying that I haven't sent out your present yet. Please don't be mad at me like your mom was mad at you. I'm a super horrible present giver. You know that. But you know what I can give you? Good memories. Remember that time you bought towallas hygienicas and you asked the guy for a bag so you didn't have to walk down the street with them in your hands? And he looked at you like you were crazy. And then we got them home and they were the size of pillows. Good times.

Oh, and remember how that little panaderia right up the street from our home that always had the panes de chocolate? And I would always buy two or three of them and you would never buy any? That was a nice self esteem booster. And how I would force you to go jogging and we would punk the elders and knock on the door and hide. Good times. And finally, two words: Fofys. . . . Galapaguitos. I will worship you forever, Galapaguitos.

Happy Birthday Hillary Claire Judd Parmenter!!

And finally, my current craving: Nothing. I just made myself two bacon, egg and cheese burritos and am no longer wanting any food. I actually want to throw up a little bit. I was talking to Reagan about getting some fries on the way home. I didn't do it. Not because I had a sudden bout of conscious. But because I forgot about it until I got home. (Curse you pregnancy memory loss!) And I didn't get that Chinese food I was craving the either day either. I don't know what happens to me, but I just get so lazy. I guess that's my best weight loss technique: I'm so freaking lazy and hence don't get have the bad food I want. Try it. It's the "Alicia Diet"