I'm finally there: I'm really horribly lonely and missing Marcelo. I didn't think it would happen because we've almost made it all the way through. He gets home in like 5 days! But until then, I don't know what to do with myself.
To add to that little depressing fact is this truth: Evi is crazy. She just screams all the time for no reason. She follows me round the house screaming. I can't make her happy. I can't give her anything to make her happy. She throws herself on the ground and smacks her head, and then starts screaming again from the pain. I pick her up and she arches her back and pries herself out of my arms. So I set her on the ground where she, you guessed it, starts screaming again. Hours upon hours of screaming I don't know how much more I can take.
Add to that the fact that I'm trying (kinda trying) to lose weight before Ecuador. As the time gets closer, I'm not so much excited as scared out of my mind. There are so many unpredictable factors once we get there, and I'm trying to plan ahead to make myself feel less stressed out, but it's not working because nothing can be planned. Marcelo won't talk to his mother, so I have no idea what she's planning for us. And if she plans something and I plan something, she'll be horribly offended. It's very stressful. I don't know how to deal with all the worry. And my kid is screaming.
It's mostly the screaming kid that's killing me. But what can I do? Nothing. So I'm going now.
Thanks for listening to me.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Finally taking its toll
Posted by Ali at 7:09 PM
Labels: Confessions, Ecuador, Evelyn
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4 comments:
have you tried giving her a bath? hee hee hee.
i have SO been there. sometimes i'm still there.
chin-up, my Love. sometimes you're on top of the world, and sometimes the world is on top of you. but you can do this.
HANG IN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bingerang, that sounds awfully hard! I have no wisdom whatsoever to share, having never had a child myself...All I know is that I'm sure I'd be having a hard time if I was you. And not being able to plan anything for an upcoming trip would drive me CRAZY! So, I know that's not very helpful, but I am feeling for you. If someone tells me the secret of how to stop your child from screaming constantly, I will of course pass that info to you immediately!
I know my kids hated having their Daddy gone for an extended amount of time; it throws off their routine. Maybe that's it? At any rate, I'm sorry and I really feel for you! I know from experience that that noise really grates on your nerves and breaks your heart at the same time (especially when you can't seem to do anything to fix it). And so sorry about all the unpredictableness of your trip; I get really nervous thinking about upcoming vacations and all the unknowns, too. Hang in there!!
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