Bored

I am blissfully bored today. And why is that? Because both Jean AND Dan have gone to a conference in Phoenix until next Monday. Jean left yesterday at like 9 am. So the whole day was Jean-free. And Jamie was here helping me, so I got 100% caught up on everything. So now I'm sitting here wondering what to do. I'm sure I can think of something.

I called Judd last night, and we somehow got started talking mission stories. We were together right in the middle of both our missions so some of the stories we have the other one hasn't heard. She told me about how one time her DL said they couldn't teach someone because they didn't know how to read, and Judd said, "Well, you know, as WELFARE sisters, we have been SPECIFICALLY trained on how to teach someone to read." And that dips**t missionary (excuse my language) says, "OHHHHH don't get me going about your 'welfare' training! (apparently he even did the air quotes too) That's just an excuse for you to be lazy."

Now, you need to know something about Judd. She is from the South. She is all civility and gentility and sweetness UNTIL YOU CROSS HER. Seriously, she has a way to knock you down and put her shoe on your throat so you don't DARE make a move. (verbally speaking, that is) This was one of those times. It should also be noted that the elders that were questioning her work ethic had ONLY been out of their home ONE DAY that week. Can anyone guess what day that might have been? If you guessed P-day, then you are right. Also you should know that Judd is a Missionary working MANIAC. Seriously, a workaholic, people.

So Judd LOSES it. She starts yelling (in Spanish) about how they, the wise and great elders, have only been outside one day that week, so they must know ALL about being lazy, right? And even though they do hours and hours of welfare stuff every week, her and her companion's numbers are consistently the highest in the whole ZONE! To emphasize this, she picks up all the papers that are going to be mailed to the president that week (probably 30 in total) and flings them at this moron elder's face. Papers and silence distill upon the group.

What would you give to have been there and seen the looks on all their faces? I would've given my left boob to see that. Finally, after a few moments of stunned silence, the moron elder's NOT so moronic companion says, "Hna Judd, we KNOW that the welfare sisters work hard." Judd of course felt silly because she had made such a huge fuss, but you know what? That elder didn't dare open his mouth to her the rest of the time she was in his district. How could he with her foot on his throat?

Anyway, I loved this story. I had a few to share of my own that she hadn't heard, so we had a good chat for a while. And then her little girl fell down and hit her head and she had to get off the phone.

But Judd and I had some GREAT times on the mission. I think we had fun together, but I also think we had LOTS of fun apart. So being able to get together and share stories with each other about the times that we weren't together makes it that much better. And talking with her made me miss Ecuador so much. Especially when Marcelo said we could buy a condo on the beach in Manta for like $30,000. I REALLY WANT THAT, especially right now when I look outside and it's STILL storming here in Utah.

Anyway, here are some things I miss about Ecuador:

*They don't refrigerate hardly anything. Even the things that SHOULD be refrigerated 100% of the time. I'm talking like milk, eggs, cheese, fruits, vegetables, meat. . . I could go on, but why should I? I actually never worried that I bought my eggs off the street, out of a little bodega that JUST sells eggs, and there was nothing in there but palates and palates of them. It seemed natural to do it like that. Why mess with Ecuadorian wisdom? (It's not like they have weird theories about food and TREES, right Reagan?)

Also, they usually go to the market once a day to get the freshest stuff. Why do you need a fridge if you go shopping every day and there is no such thing as leftovers in your house? I wouldn't have one either. In my first home, there were 6 girls living there and we had a fridge the size of one of those "college" fridges. And there was always plenty of room. That's because K-Chitos don't need to be refrigerated. Am I right people? (I REALLY WANT SOME K-Chitos RIGHT NOW!!!)

* The million varieties of corn. In the high mountain areas of Ecuador, they are known for their corn. I know that many of you have seen that "Mexican" corn also called hominy. Ecuador looks at that one type of corn and they spit on it!! Imagine if you went to a store that had NOTHING BUT CORN. You no longer have to imagine, such places exist in Ecuador. We are talking bags and bags of different sizes, colors, shapes styles of corn. There had to be 30+ varieties. This is the ONLY good memory I have of Hermana Eckert (she was my companion aged 66, remember?). We found this great store outside the huérfanas' house in San Rafael and we bought like 10 different kinds. Why? Because we were OBSESSED with "tosados." (If you don't know what tostados are, I'll look for a picture for you.) They have a similar product in stores, and it's basically dried corn that's fried. Almost like Corn Nuts. But Corn nuts are REALLY hard and break your teeth, where as tosados burst open in the frying process and so they are all soft and salty and delicious.

Well, we wanted to see how all these different varieties would be if we tried to make tosados out of all of them. Let me tell you, that was the only day I ate with Hermana Eckert. (Most days I feigned a stomach ache and continued down my destructive cycle of anorexia) But we had a blast frying up those corn kernels and seeing which ones popped open, and which ones stayed in a tight ball like Cornuts. Like I said, it was my only good day with her. (other than the day she left, that is) The best ones were the little ones. They burst open. The big ones were stubborn and didn't want to do anything (that's what she said). Moving on

*Using halls Mentho-lyptus as an "after dinner mint". I honestly miss that!! I don't know why they think that cough drops are good for after dinner palate refreshers, but they do. Even in high end upscale restaurants they use these. And the Latinos LOVE them. They sell them at little tiendas for like 3 cents or 5 cents a piece, and kids decide they want to waste their money on them instead of good old-fashioned-rot-your-teeth sugar.

The first time I got a cold after we were married, I bought a package of these at the store, and Marcelo asked me what they were. I said they were to clear my nose and throat. He asked if he could try one and I said of course, but they are medicine, so he might not like them. I had obviously forgotten about the fact that my husband's palate has been trained to recognize this particular taste as decadent. He ate the whole bag. I had to go and buy myself some more, because my husband ate the WHOLE BAG. Ahhh, Latinos.

That's all I can think of right now. Well, that's not true. I got about a million other things that I miss about Ecuador floating around in my brain right now. But Jean's annoying niece/turd from next door keeps popping over here to try and snoop on my computer and see what I'm doing. I'm going to tell her the next time she comes over, "whew! You almost caught me looking at my stash of work porn. It's some I've compiled just for work; I have another stash of home porn". It would serve her right to get a smack of sarcasm in her face. And I would love if that sarcasm was attached to my hand.

I love it when Jean is out of town!! I hope the rest of the week is as "boring" as today!