Quality Assured

I primarily eat junk food these days. Well, that's not 100% true. My diet consists of eggs, toast and several bowls of cereal throughout the day. I'll usually make Marcelo a totally separate dinner because when I get home at 5:30 I'm starving and I'll wolf down two bowls of Cheerios. (Cheerios are currently my cereal of choice. Before it was Rice Krispies, and before that it was Corn Flakes. I don't do those sugar cereals. They give me acid) So by the time I roll around to making him dinner at 6:30 or 8:45 (or 10:00 pm like last night) I'm not hungry any more.

That's not my point. My point is that in the last 2 days I've made some crappy food choices. I haven't hit a fast food drive through in probably 6 weeks, so I'm doing better there. But I still can buy crap at the grocery store. Like yesterday I bought a box of donuts and a bag of generic cheese balls. I finished off that bag of cheese balls today. It was lunch. Isn't that disgusting? And then for dinner, I had one of those 99 cent Totino's pizzas.

And that's what my blog is about. Quality. This is the picture that was on my pizza box: What do you think about it? I think I should've been scared when some "food substance" has to ASSURE me of it's quality. First, they don't think that I can discern what is good quality and what isn't? (Actually, they make a good point: The fact that I'm eating $1 pizza might say that I lack some food judgment)

Secondly, the word ASSURED is like one of those purposefully deceitful words. Like the pizza is saying "I swear this won't give you the runs in 8 hours! Trust me!! I'm delicious! Look, the word assured is right there!! You can count on me for a good food experience!!"

However, I am a sucker when it comes to pizza. And here is why: I really haven't had it too much in the past 8 and a half months. The first few months of my pregnancy I suffered from a little lactose intolerance, so I tried to cut out all cheese and milk. So pizza was out. That was sad. And then I just didn't want it. I more craved fries and cereal and salad. I know, weird combo right?

Anyway, recently I tried pizza again and realized that there is a reason I've been avoiding it: my body gets HORRIBLE acid reflux from the tomato sauce. We are talking 2 am being awoken by my whole neck and chest on fire from the inside out. I stumble downstairs and chew up 2 Tums and swallow them quickly so they'll start to work instantly. And then I suck on a third one whilst walking back to bed in a half dead state. To avoid this I have to have pizza with white sauce or eat it at least 6 hours before I go to bet to let the pizza work its way down.

But it's not just pizza, it's all tomato products. I don't like spaghetti with marinara sauce, and I can't eat tomato soup. You should know that before this I was a tomato freak. I hope it comes back after the baby is gone. I will be so sad if I can't stand them after this. Like I said I am a sucker for tomatoes and pizza.

Oh!! Lynn! Remember when I ate pizza like 10 times in those two weeks Marcelo was in Ecuador without me?

TANGENT: Many of you might be asking, "why did Marcelo go to Ecuador without you?" Oh, that's a good story. Here's how it went:

Jean: You can't go on vacation in August. If you want to take two weeks in May, I'll let you go for two whole weeks in May.
Me: No, I need to go in August. All his family will be there. That's when the trip has been planned for more than a year.
Jean: You can't go in August for two whole weeks. I'll only give you 10 days. I can't give you the two full weeks in a row.
Me: Your vacation policy says that I get two weeks. I want to take them together. The policy doesn't say anything about not being able to take all my time at once
Jean: Well, I'll change the policy then.
Me: I don't know what I'm going to do. . .
Jean: Well you can go, but you won't have a job waiting for you when you get back.
Me: You would fire me for taking my vacation when I wanted?
Jean: Absolutely.

And then Jean proceeded to go to every agent in the office and tell them that I walked into her office, and DEMANDED that she give me these days off. She tells them that I said she'd better give me the days off, or I was quitting. I want you to go back and read that conversation. Who threatens WHO with being fired? And then she turns around and says that I was the one that did it!! I guess we aren't surprised, right? Twist the story and make me the enemy, make ME the monster. Typical Miranda Priestly. END OF TANGENT

So when he was gone those two weeks, I slept alone, ate alone, watched lots of TV and ate TONS of pizza. I think I had it about a million times. And it was heavenly. And I came to work and said, "Lynn, what do you think I had to eat for lunch?" and she would say, "Pizza?" and I would say, "YES!!!" and I would relive the experience again in my mind. Good times.

And how does this relate do cheep Totino's pizzas? Because even though they have ASSURED me of their quality, I don't think they use real tomatoes to make their pizza. I think it's a red, salty vegetable based sauce they use between the crispy crust and thin layer of cheese. But I don't think it's technically tomato. So I think that even though I ate one about an hour ago it shouldn't cause any problems tonight. We'll see. I'll let you know. In this case the lack of quality might be to my benefit.

Now, I would like to take some time to state some things I'm thankful to have in my life. I'm thankful for good friends. I have the best friends. Friends that would walk through hell for me. Friends that would drive down from Draper to pick me up or to have lunch with me. Friends that would get a credit card and max it out so they could be at my wedding in Ecuador. Friends that would come pick me up from the airport. (That's how I determine if someone is a good friend: Can I ask them to pick me up or drop me off at the airport? I really only have a few of those people in my life) Friends that would offer to bring me zebra cakes when I'm having a bad day. Friends that back me up and I never have to question their motives or loyalties to me. Like I said, I don't have many of these, but I'm so thankful for the ones I have.

I'm thankful to be pregnant. Reagan says that I'm not a good pregnant person because I don't complain enough. Wanna know a secret? I secretly feel like I should do this pregnancy naturally becuase my pregnancy has been so freaking easy. I mean, what is the worst thing I've dealt with? Nighttime acid maybe only 4 nights and swollen feet? I know how to prevent the acid and if I just walk a little everyday, my feet will go right down. Seriously, I have NOTHING to complain about. Also, why was I so lucky to get pregnant so quickly? I mean, it was like all Marcelo had to do was look at me and I was knocked up. And I never miscarried! I'm actually surprised Marcelo and I weren't pregnant by accident earlier. Turns out the two of us make babies ridiculously easy.

I'm so thankful for the opportunity to be a mother. I think that it's so sad that some people choose money or possessions or certain lifestyles rather than the total and complete joy of being a parent. I mean, some people actually brag about the fact that they don't have kids and therefore can obtain more physical belongings. Isn't that the saddest thing you've ever heard? I mean, is that diamond bracelet going to hold your hand when you are on your death bed? Will that new ski boat have grandchildren that you can play with? Will your fantastic wardrobe and shoe collection snuggle with you at night when you are cold? And will that car talk to you and ask you how your day was and kiss you when you get home? (If you said yes, you should not be commended for having a rocking car, you should be checked for schizophrenia.)

Finally, I am so SO SO thankful for a husband that believes what I do about the importance of staying at home to raise our child. I think that the only thing sadder than not having children is having children and then giving them to someone else to raise. It's like those people that buy houses only to have someone else clean them for them. I mean, what is the purpose of a child for you? Bragging rights? So you can feel good about yourself? Because you think a kid is this Spring's coolest accessory? Parents who put their own desires and wishes in front of those of their child's are the worst kind. Better to just NOT have a kid than to have one and pass it off.

Take it from someone who knows: Your children can tell INSTANTLY if they are not the most important thing to you. I had one parent that clearly had kids for the wrong reason, and one parent that loves their kids unconditionally. Let's just say that the former really doesn't have a strong relationship with any of their kids. DON'T BE THAT KIND OF PARENT! (Who am I talking to exactly there? I don't know. MAYBE IT'S YOU!!)

Anyway, I am thankful tonight. I am so blessed. I promise my little gusano that I may not make every decision correctly, but as far as parenting goes, they can know that I'm "Quality Assured"

Have a happy Sunday everyone!!