Held Hostage

So Bibbers has this new thing that she likes to do She holds me hostage by locking me out of the house and then demands a ransom to be let back in. The ransom thing is really my fault. Let me esplain.

So a few weeks ago, I had to take Raya down to go pee in the rain. If you will remember, Raya turns into a PRINCESS when it rains. The snow she deals with. But rain? OHHHHH. She'll pace by the door whining, nearly wetting herself because she doesn't want to get wet. She won't go out in the rain unless you walk by her side coaxing her the whole way. And then she goes and basically finds the part of the grass that is under the roof overhang and pees there as fast as possible so she can get back up in the dry part of the house. Like I said, princess.

So I had to walk her down. And I didn't worry about leaving Bibi alone in the house because Marcelo was in the back bedroom dozing before his soccer game. WEEEEELLLLL. Bibi decides to lock me out (with no jacket and no bra on, in the freezing hail/sleet/rain) and then LAUGH at me as I beg her to open the door. Seriously, I begged her for a full 3 minutes! I rang the doorbell. I knocked on the door. I pulled on the handle. I tried to use Raya as bait and pretend to have Raya open the door. But she just looked at me and LAUGHED OUT LOUD in a pretty clear mocking tone. And then she decided she wanted to go back and get on the computer and she was going to leave me there. (Marcelo was of course useless. He stayed comatose on the bed through the whole ordeal)

I finally got her to open the door by telling her I would give her a fruit snack pouch if she did it. Bribery,pure and simple. Well now, she has taken to "tricking" me to go outside for some reason or another and then she locks me out demanding I give her a fruit snack or a piece of gum to be let back in. Sometimes when we go down and are walking in the park, she will tell me to wait (she actually says "es-pay-ya, mami" which is pretty close to "espera") and then she will run up ahead of me and lock me out of the house.

So, as you can see, the ransom idea was mine. All due to that first situation where I was bra-less and desperate to get inside. Now she thinks that the best way to get a fruit snack is to kidnap mom for it. What a little turd.

I love her so much.

Here is a picture of her in her favorite outfit. I actually bury these close in the BOTTOM of the hamper, next to stinky towels and pairs of pee underwear. But she has a 6th sense about where they are and can find them no matter where I have put them. The good thing is that the moment they are clean, she puts them on, and they are usually dirty within the first 2 days. So then they go in the hamper and I don't have to deal with them until the next wash day.















And here is Bibi in a side hat. We took this camera with us on vacation when we left her behind and we would see it as we were flipping through our pictures and get sad just looking at it.
















I need to post about our vacation, but I don't think anyone really cares about what we did each day in Hawaii. So maybe I'll just post a few pictures and some stories. Because oh, do I have the stories!

Family Updates

Dear Readers:

I started this post back at the end of Feb, and I am just now getting around to posting it. So sad! I don't know why I waited so long. But here it is, and I will add more at the end:

Here are some of the going-ons around our house. Kind of like a roundup, but encompassing more time than a month:

Bibbers:
The baby's eye is all better. A few days of anti-bacterial drops and things are looking good again (pun intended). However, she got sick a few days later, and now we are dealing with the coughing/vomiting that always hits my poor girl. She coughs so hard, that she makes herself vomit. She hasn't had very much food for the past 3 days, and whatever she eats, she pukes up, usually at night. And sometimes in our bed (delightful). Or sometimes in her own bed (revolting). But the best is when she can make it to the bathroom and puke in the sink or toilet. We are very proud we taught her that one. Saves lots of time and laundry. But she always seems to coat her hair! Oh well, can't win them all.

She is super funny and so stubborn/determined. She knows what she wants and she has NO problem telling people how she's feeling. When she wants to say family prayers, she lets us know. And then if we (heaven forbid) try to prompt her, we are brusquely met with a "SHHHHHHH" sound while she puts her finger to her lips. She shushes us! And frequently. When we want her to listen to us, and she's not interested, she turns around and shushes us and goes back to what she was doing. When we try to take something away from her, she tucks whatever she has behind her back and tries to shush us. The problem with the shushing is that it's just SO DANG FUNNY. Usually Marcelo and I have to turn away and laugh before we turn back to her (serious now) and tell her that she cannot do that and continued shushing with get her in timeout. I hope I can get a picture or video of her shushing, because it really is the funniest thing you will ever see.

As for her language, she is definitely progressing. Back in January her speech therapists asked us to name all the words she could do. It was 10. In a year of speech therapy and only 10 words! Shortly after that, she was tested (they test her every 6 months or so) and she tested almost off the charts for every other category but her verbal communication. Problem solving, adaptive communication, understanding, everything like that she was testing in the 4 year old range. Her ability to dress herself, wash her own hair, pour her own juice go to the bathroom 100% alone things like that were all very advanced for her age. Not only that, but her understanding of prepositions (on, beside, under) and possessives (Daddy's baby, Mommy's daughter) was very startling to the testers. And remember, the test was all in Spanish! So it made me happy to realize and really see that even if her communication was slow, she was understanding so much of what I said to her.

However, even with those 10 words (and other non-verbal communication she was doing) she tested exactly at the level where she doesn't qualify for their services anymore. I was very sad to see them go, but I had a good surprised waiting for me. 2 weeks before they called and told me the test results, something clicked inside of her. She started to imitate so many things that I was saying. Words that I had said for months (and maybe years) she started to attempt to say. I was not prepared for it, and it caught me way off guard. My husband was much MUCH better at deciphering what she was trying to say. And slowly I got it too: she only says the last 2 syllables of whatever word she is saying. Estrellas turns into "ellas" Biblioteca becomes "teca". Conejo becomes "nejo". I don't know why the husband got it sooner than I did, but I am so thankful he did! Because she would start getting very frustrated if we didn't understand her two syllables.

The speech therapists told me that in order to put 3 word phrases together, she needed a minimum of 50 words. And I sat down and counted them all out, and she definitely has 50 words now. And while I wouldn't say it was an "explosion" of speech, she definitely is more willing to try to say new words. Sometimes I have to remind her of a word, but once she hears it again, she's pretty good at remembering it and repeating it. I think that's the best part. She will attempt to say what I say to her. It makes me feel like she's not going to be a total mental defective he whole life. (I of course kid about that. I am aware that she is not at all below normal intelligence).

Marcelo:
2 months away from graduating and now looking for a job, Marcelo is in full busy mode. Oh, plus he is working at a job every hour possible. And he is looking for a car to buy. These weeks are super busy for him, but I am hoping that his car search is a priority. HA HA! As soon as he gets a car, then I GET MY CAR BACK! Hello trips to Jump on It!. Hello trips to indoor play parks. Hello trips to parks. Hello play dates. Hello to driving myself to Scouts. Hello Life! It's been almost 3 years with only one car. And let's just say I'm very excited to get my independence back. And very excited we got a good tax return this year to help with the down payment. We couldn't do it without you, IRS!


Marcelo plays soccer about 2 times a week and has won 2 or 3 tournaments now. He saves the medals and trophies like he's 12 and just got his first Little League participation award. I don't know what he's going to do with all of them, but I think they will eventually get thrown away. I know I eventually throw all my medals away. Is that crass and unappreciative? I don't know, I just don't want to crate it everywhere. But he loves his trophies. He usually plays at night (like 8 or 9 or even 10!) so he is here at night to help with bath time/bedtime.

But I do feel badly for him because he is Bibi's favorite. You would think this would make me jealous, but at 3 am, when she is calling HIS name, I really don't mind. He goes and lays next to her and I get to sleep on in peace. It's really not a bad situation for me. And when she is sick (like in these days) she only wants her Papa. I frequently wake up alone in our bed because he has gone to answer her cries in the middle of the night. He's a good Papa.

Raya:
A super sweet dog that loves to run. She's also a "scaredy cat" who stays close to us because she's pretty fearful of the world around her. She loves to poop in the neighbor's yard which I get to clean up every couple of days. She loves that yard because it smells like quail and deer. Which is like crack for my bird flushing hunting dog. She loves to lay in the sun and snuggle up to you with her head on your shoulder. She is the sweetest dog in the world, and it's hard to get mad at her when she breaks out of her cage and eats the chicken I was defrosting for lunch after church. Seriously, how does she break out of that cage all the time? She's the Houdini of dogs. Luckily raw chicken isn't damaging to dogs as it is to humans. (I looked it up.) She was in doggie heaven, you can't blame her for eating what she can get.

Alicia:
I am having a hard time maintaining my exercise routine. But having a sick child will do that to you. I'm hoping she'll recover soon so I can start going back.

That is where I ended. Things have pretty much been the same since then. I am still bad at exercising but I DO have a car now (hooray for me!) and the baby still shushes us, but not as much now because she can tell us exactly what she wants. "no mama! No vayas!" (meaning, don't go) or "tu, mama" (meaning, it's your turn, mom). She can also ask for her favorite shows and videos by name. She still does that syllable cut off thing, but are are getting much better and making her try to break down the word and say it all.

Here are some awesome pictures for you to enjoy:

She wanted her picture taken WITH raya, of course














And here her lips were really dry and they cracked and bled a little bit. Of course, a band aid will fix that!


She looks smashing in that band aid!

Here are some pictures of Halloween

It was cold, so she's got the jacket on ready for massive candy begging


I don't know why I never posted about Halloween. Maybe because Marcelo was feeling sick so I had to do it alone in the rain. But she did look cute. Next year I want to make her a Belle costume and dress Raya up as the Beast. Quite ambitious of me, but I think it will rock.

I have lots more, but who really cares about someone else's kid, right?

Anyway, I hope you like reading about what we are doing these days. If not, stop reading my blog!

A Real Conversation With My Dear Husband-Session #2

Place: Provo
Time: 11 pm last Saturday night
Doing: Me driving home from the grocery store.

Phone: Bring! Bring! Bring!
Me: Hello
Marcelo: Are you close to getting home?
Me: Yes, I'm just passing the Marriott Center. I'll be home in a few minutes. . . . Some other mindless banter about what I bought at the grocery store. . . .
Marcelo:(after this banter, some minutes later). So hurry up and get home. The dog puked on the carpet.
Me: WHAT!! Why didn't you tell me that 3 minutes ago? Did you clean it up?
Marcelo: What did you give her? It looks brown.
Me: Well her food is brown. And when she eats it it changes color and shape. Does it look like her food
Marcelo: Oh yeah, I guess it does. So are you getting home soon?
Me: CLEAN IT UP!!! Get it off the carpet before it soaks in!
Marcelo: I mean, what did you feed her? I told you and told you not to feed her table food. And now she did and she threw up.
Me: Are you cleaning it up?
Marcelo: NO!!
Me: Why are you yelling at me right now! Please clean it up before it soaks in and stains the carpet. PLEASE?
Marcelo: Well, you need to learn not to feed her any food other than her dog food!
Me: (SEETHING AT THIS POINT) PLEASE JUST CLEAN IT UP!! Yelling at me right now isn't going to clean the puke up! Can you just clean it up and then from now on I promise she won't get any more food from me! JUST GET IT OFF THE CARPET!!
Marcelo: [Silence]
Me: Hello? . . . . Hello? . . . . Hello? (looking at phone for 30 seconds, seeing that he hasn't hung up yet, but that he's not answering.) HELLO? (Me finally hanging up)

Oh, by the way, when I got home, he had totally cleaned up the puke! YESSSSS!!

People let me tell you about my Best Friend

I know you were all dying to see more pictures and videos of Evi and Raya. WELL YOU ARE IN LUCK!! Here you go.

Evi really does love Raya. Evi brings her all her favorite toys and clothes to her cage. You would not believe the stuff I have found in there. Toothbrushes and books. Even her prized rabbit was in there!! Now that's love. She also makes sure Raya gets all her leftovers. And if Raya doesn't want to eat it voluntarily, Evi has learned how to grab her mouth, lift the side of it and shove stuff in between her teeth. (mental note:get that on camera)

Anyway, one day Evi was on one. I don't know what was in her food, but she was acting seriously crazy. And this is what happened: peek-a-boo with Raya. Notice Evi's merriment at all Raya actions:



Look at Raya's face. She's in misery!! She's like "when will this be over??" But she puts up with it. She always does.

Here is some more abuse. Evi found this sticker and after pulling it off her arm over and over, she thought, "where else can I stick this?" Naturally the most logical choice was Raya's head:






Look at the gaze of pure torture on Raya's face. She's like "I know I'll get in trouble if I object. So, please don't push too hard on my head." Did I mention I have the best dog ever?

Here she is putting up with a few kisses, an off key song, and a tackle that results in a head banging.



Oh the tortures that this dog puts up with! She is a saint. I'm so happy they are best friends. I should get them matching BFF bracelets.

Cause that wouldn't be weird or anything.

I went on down to the Crimp 'n Curl. . .

Who (besides my sister Sarah) can name where that quote comes from ?

So the other day I got distracted for a moment and I found baby girl doing this . . .



With the end result being this
















I think she's the funniest girl in the world.

And here she is trying to get Raya to play with her.















I should tell her that putting her dog in a toy prision is a less effective way to win over Raya's heart.

Funny Things From Our Home

The Bibi has been doing some funny things recently. I've included some pictures and video.

1) Eating things and picking things up with her mouth directly. NO NEED FOR HANDS HERE!! Marcelo and I noticed this about a week and a half ago. I just have to make sure EVERY surface is clean now cause she sticks her mouth right to it. ( I don't have a picture of this. She wouldn't let me capture it on film. Trust me when I say it's the funniest/cutest thing you will ever see. It will make you puke rainbows, it's that cute) But I do have pictures of her eating other things:

Cheerios right from the bag















And then a nice combo of Worchester sauce/Syrup. Delicious!















2) Putting things in my shoes. I've so far lost keys, toys, iPod, batteries and found all of them in my exercise shoes. It's now my #1 place to look for things. Here are some things in my shoes right now:

3) Magnets. She has these kitchen magnets that were a gift from Aunt Jules and for a long time I put them up high because I didn't want them to get lost. What? Does that even make sense? You don't want your kid to play with her own toys cause maybe she might lose some of them? I don't know what I was thinking. Plus I think I just wanted her out of the kitchen (this was at the old place) because it was so filthy. But I finally got some sense in my head and I put them down low here at the new place. SHE LOVES THEM. She carries them around and tried to stick them to everything. Last week I watched her try to stick them to Raya. I don't have a picture of that either. Sorry!

4) FIRST WORD!! I called it. I soooooo called it months ago. When I realized that she was responding to the word "Raya" (she would turn and look for the dog whenever I said it) I told Marcelo I was 99% positive it would be her first word. It came out Sunday. She says it "Yai-ya" I wasn't sure it was really it, until I took them both to the park yesterday and as Raya ran around Evi would scream after her, "Yai-ya! Yai-ya" and then giggle like mad when she came close. Does she say anything else? Mama? Tata (Dada)? NO WAY!! But the dog is covered.

Here is a video of her with Raya. She says her name half way through it. And at then end she does her "drunked sailor" walk. My favorite.



Raya is her best friend. She brings her things, and tries to make her happy. She loves to snuggle with her and give her hugs. Here are some things I found in Raya's cage. Remote, toys, spoons, Etc.















And then where Raya sleeps on the bench seat? There are always a bunch of bowls and toys around her. Raya's happiness is very important to Evi so she brings her things to make sure she's taken care of. Evi will pull my dish out of my hand while I'm eating so that she can put it down on the ground for Raya to lick. Serious devotion to the dog. She doesn't even care when Raya knocks her down in her exuberance. Here is a video of Evi playing peek-a-boo with her.



Finally. The Wiggles. She's obsessed. Please enjoy a video of her getting down.



And here are just some more pictures of her, because I couldn't resist. She's "helping" me with my lower drawer. And then she pulled an egg out of the fridge. Can you say salmonella?




























Of COURSE she shares the egg with Raya? Haven't you been paying attention at all?

Have a good Sunday!

All Right, All Right. . .I GIVE UP!!!

I give up. Evita is officially her father's daughter. I keep trying to look for things that she has that resemble mom, but to date I only have 2 things: Her lips and her toes.

Lets take a look at the list of things she has from dad:
Eyes (Both color and shape)
Eyelashes
Eyebrows
Hair (both color and type)
Ears
Hands
Legs

Things that are still up for grabs:
Her nose (At this point it's looking to be mom's. But we won't know for sure for a while. Let's all pray she gets my nose.)
Chin

But every day it's like something else is from her dad. The latest is her temperament. She doesn't want to sleep, she wants to scream and jump around all day. She's all about playing and being with her dad. She's becoming a little firecracker, and she's not even 7 months yet!!! Oh man, this is going to be fun.

On a different note, she's started fighting her daytime naps. I only let her sleep 90 min TOTAL all day, and sometimes she doesn't even want to do that. When she fights it, she rolls over and starts getting up on her knees. She writhes and leans forward and bangs her head into the corner of her crib. (THANKS PADDED BUMPER FOR PROTECTING MY BABY'S HEAD!) Basically my nap torture sessions are going to single handedly lead to my kid crawling in 4 to 5 days.

When she finally does succumb to the sandman, this is how you will find her:



Good mommy skills, right? Whatever. She loves it. At least she's sleeping!!! And she wakes up with the best lines on her face and cheeks that stay red for hours after the nap! She's such a delight. A red-cheeked screaming bottle banging delight.

Want more proof? Here she is throwing her head back in that funny way she does. Her laugh is all guttural when she does it. It makes her mom and dad laugh really hard to see her do it.


















And I love it that she's getting a little hair on top. With a dollop of mousse, we can get a faux-hawk going. Love it. Love the tongue. Love her.

Here she is playing with her "chupa". She doesn't really use it for it's intended purpose anymore. But she loves to chew on it and play with it. She'll put it in her mouth and drop her hands and just keep it in her mouth. See what I mean?















And finally, One of my favorite pictures these days: I put Evi's headband on Raya. She's such a good sport. Oh, the abuse we inflict on our pets!!















Raya is the best dog ever!!

Jesse

Jesse is our family dog. He's a good dog. He's about a million years old. Just kidding. (Sort of) He'll be turning 14 this Christmas. He's still as crazy as the day we got him. For some reason, we get cockers. Our last 2 dogs have been cockers and blond cockers at that. But Jesse is crazier then all of them.

He loves his ball. Tennis balls will do, but he especially loves his Kong. It bounces everywhere when you throw it on the ground. He tweaks out when you throw it and it goes everywhere. The funny thing is that he still pretends he's a puppy. He leaps in the air and twists to get it. But after one jump he has to sit down cause it's just too much work for his old fat body.

But back to the ball: It's super bouncy so it springs back when he bites it. This is what a Kong looks like and what Jesse looks like with his baby:

Here he is waiting for me to throw the ball. And what he looks like when he gets desperate. He howls this really cute way. Adorable.

And here he is just chewing on his ball. He can just lay there for hours and chew on it rhythmically like that. It makes me smile.

However, what is NOT funny is his affection for clothes. Not just any set of clothes. We are talking stinky, smelly, crotch sweaty, armpit stained dirty clothes. THOSE are what he loves and craves. He seeks them out. And if given a chance, he'll pounce on them and eat them. Yes, he will eat right through them. Please see Exhibit "A":

In our haste to get the baby in the bath and then to bed, we made the mistake of leaving this on the couch. He snatched it up very quickly and made short work of it. Honestly, I didn't love the color of this outfit, but I loved everything else about it. It was warm and of the best quality (this is the Laura Ashley outfit, remember?) And look where he ate it. RIGHT where she threw up on it. On the arm where she sucks her hand, and on the collar where she spits up. This outfit went in the trash.

I was so upset and have been so careful to keep the dog out of places where I am. Or to pick up my clothes (And Evi's Clothes) quickly. But I'm not used to it. So sometimes I forget. See Exhibit "B":

UGH! I was so upset with this!! Melanie & Shar gave this to me along with some CRAZY adorable striped pants that match. I was so upset about this because it was my fault!! I knew better!! How could I be so stupid? However, it was just the arms. (He literally was alone for 30 seconds. How could he do this much damage in 30 seconds?) And I talked to my mom and we are going to turn this into a short sleeve shirt and re-use the cuff links. So this one can be saved.


Exhibit "C" I don't have a picture. It's my own garments. The damage is much smaller then the other two. But mostly because he only had 15 seconds this time. It's in the left armpit. I think I'm going to have to throw those away. I promise you there will be no more exhibits. I'm going to be vigilant.


But I do love Jesse. My mom got him in the divorce. She joked that he came with the house. So when she got the house, she got the dog too. I think she loves him as much as we do. It will be sad when he dies. But at the rate he's going, that won't be for a very long time.

My Baby's Silky Smooth Coat

To answer Reagan's comment on my last blog, the move is going slow. And how many houses have we lived in? Well, we have lived in 5 houses in the last 12 months. Take into account the 3 houses we lived in before that, and we have had 8 houses since being married. Averaging to 2 moves a year. I want to vomit just reading that. I don't want to move again. EVER.

Anyway, back to our anniversary. We almost forgot. There was just so much going on, and for the past few days none of us have been real aware of the actual date. And so I realized almost too late what time it was. Mom volunteered to watch Evi so we could go out and I took her up on it.

Evi has had lots of mocos the last few days, and it's been hard for her to breathe. Nursing has been hard, and she didn't take a long nap all day yesterday. I mean she would crash for like 20 min or a hour at the longest. But mostly she was just awake and fighting to breathe. It was rough listening to her breath fighting to get out, but those darned mocos wouldn't come out with the snot sucker.

Well, I feed Evi and then we left. I called from the restaurant and mom said she had given her a bath and she was OUT. She said she was so tired that her eyes were closed even before she laid down. I was happy and we finished our date and came home.

Just so you know, we did do something fun for our anniversary. We went to La Carreta. It's a Peruvian restaurant. It's the closest thing we can get to Ecuadorian food around here. Anyway, we got there very late and we were the only ones there. It was fun to just sit and talk to each other and not have a baby screaming.

Well, the next morning I noticed that there were some strange bottles on the floor of my shower. Some body wash, the dog shampoo, my shampoo, shaving cream, etc. I thought that was weird until I realized that the baby shampoo was over at the new house.

Then a horrible thought hit me. What did my mom use to wash my baby? I asked her and she said, "oh, you had some 'soothing oatmeal' shampoo so I used that." I went to the shower and pulled out a bottle and said, "is this the stuff you used?" and she said, yes. Yeah, it was the dog shampoo. My mom washed my baby with dog shampoo.

I don't blame her. Here is a picture of the shampoo bottle:


So do you see the word DOG stamped anywhere on this bottle in BIG BOLD letters? I totally can understand her confusion. There is no picture of a dog, and the only place it says dog is in teeny tiny letters right under the "G" logo. It says "For Dogs" really tiny and then it talks about "coat hydrating" properties in the box below. That could be for humans, right? If you are crazy and refer to your hair as your "Head coat" or "chrome pelt" as I like to call it. Then this bottle might work for you.

As it is, it's just funny. What ISN'T funny is the box on the back that says "keep out of reach of children so as to avoid consumption." And my mom said that she put the baby in that to swim around. Great! Awesome!! My kid was covered head to toe with horrible flea and tick killing, yet still nourishing, toxins. (I think all this oatmeal talk is terribly hyped up. Does the oatmeal neutralize the skin burning effects of the chemicals? Discuss) I am a horrible mother that bathes her child in dog shampoo toxins. I'll be accepting my mother of the year award this weekend. Thank you for all attending the ceremony held at Utah County Jail.

And to reply to Judd's comment, I will stop calling my dog "The little girl." I must admit that reading that and the phrase "300 bees" together is enough to stop someone's heart. But this latest debacle tells me that maybe I can start calling Evi "puppy girl" as a term of endearment. HA!

I'm a bad mother. The end

Doggy Don't!

Poor Raya! Her day started out really good. My mom woke up at 8:30 am and took her for a walk at the park right by our house. I got up at 9:30 and played with Evi and had breakfast and talked to Marcelo. And then I got ready to get into the shower for church at 11:00 am. As I was about to get in, my mom walked in with Raya.

I immediately noticed a difference. When she shook, there wasn't the usual collar sound that accompanied her shake. I then noticed that her tags were missing!! Her tag circle was stretched to capacity and I instantly realized that my mom had attached her collar to the wrong circle, and when Raya had pulled against her leash, she had pulled the circle and the tags came off.

No worries. They were tags that can be replace for about $3.00. And I thought we could go to the park and look for them and have a good time there another day. My mom was gushing about how Raya was just so good, and how she loved the park and how she loves to take her because she's just a dream dog. I was very proud of my little girl just then. You always get happy when your kids are good for the babysitter.

So I got in the shower, and when I got out I got ready and started dressing Evita. Marcelo was getting ready and so was mom. It was about 10:49, and basically time to start climbing in the car to drive to church. As I'm dressing Evi, I look at Raya and she's rubbing her face and trying to rub her face on the leather couch. The leather couch? How can that be refreshing? Well, my question was soon answered when Raya looked up at me. This is what I saw:






























I'm sorry if you weren't prepared for that. You can imagine MY shock at seeing my little girl so altered. You can see they are all over her face, her muzzle, her legs and the top of her head. For a second, I thought that she had incurred a horrible case of mange overnight. Because dogs that are about to die from mange look just like that, with the skin all puffy and jacked up.

And then I noticed the individual bumps on the top of her head (see picture #4, it shows the bumps the best/worst) And I knew it was bees. I said to my mom, "What happened? Have you seen her?" She said that she didn't notice anything the whole time they were at the park. She said Raya hadn't cried the whole time. I asked where she was sitting at the park and she said she was over by the bathrooms. I happen to know that there is a bees nest living in one of the broken park benches there right by the bathroom. I asked my mom "were there bees there?" and she said, "Yes, there were bees. They didn't come near me, I hardly even noticed them. When would she have been attacked?"

I don't know what my mom was doing, I can only assume she was talking on the phone when what had to be 300 bees attacked my little girl. I was paralyzed. What to do? Take her to the doggie ER? I took her there the night she got hit by a car, and I know how expensive it is. I was pretty sure she wasn't allergic because she would probably already be dead by now if she were. But I didn't know if there would be any other problems in the future. I decided to call the ER (the doggie ER) and find out.

They (of course) suggested we should bring her right in. I told them that I didn't think that she was allergic, but what could happen in the future? She said that if we didn't bring her in, we should watch for signs of shock. I said we were about to go to church, and she asked if anyone could stay home with her during church. Marcelo, my hero, volunteered.

He gave her a soothing bath, and when I got home, this is what greeted me:


Yeah!! All better!! She was almost completely back to normal. Oh, I was so happy. Marcelo she was great during her bath and she was very happy to play with him the whole time. I was just glad her eyes weren't swollen shut.

I'm just going to apologize to Raya right now. Apparently my family is really hard on dogs. I'm just glad this story had a happy ending and that my dog isn't dead. SORRY RAYA!!!

Spring, Spring Spring

My little girl loves the sun and loves to be warm. (She must get that from me) I think it's because she has such short hair and no body fat. (She does NOT get that from me :) What am I saying, she's a freaking DOG. She gets NOTHING from me!)But when I come home from lunch, she'll jump up on me and get a few moments of head scratching and then go right over and lay on the carpet in the sun. Her favorite place is right by the couch.

But now that the weather is getting better, I'll open the back door during my lunch break so she can run back and forth freely. Her schedule usually goes like this: Watch me eat my lunch and try to beg some food off my plate. When I finish eating, then it's time to go outside. She'll perch herself out the back door for about 10 minutes just listening to the birds. When she gets a little more brave, she goes and walks down the next step and points at the birds for another 10 minutes. Then she comes inside and makes sure that I'm still here. When she's secure about that, she goes out and listens to the birds for another 15 minutes. Near the end, she'll lay down on the warm steps and just relax in the sunshine. See what I mean?

Well, anyway, I got a picture of her just enjoying the sun yesterday afternoon. I can't wait until it warms up even more and I can bask in the sun with her. I'm tired of it being cold. It's time for SPRING.

And the phrase "Spring, spring, spring" needs to be sung, like the version from "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers." If you don't know about that movie, you are missing out on a cinematographic masterpiece. Make sure to take note of the painted back drops and fancy dancers. Gideon is my favorite.

Change of subject. Yesterday on the radio they were talking about how they were taking new photos of all the employees. One of the girls said that she had gained a little weight, and her pants were tighter than normal. So when she came into work, she went up and asked her co-worker if she had a little camel toe going on. He said that she didn't, but she still felt self-conscious about it, so she proceeded to ask the other two men in the room the same question, and waited as they all LOOKED and then gave her their opinion. Do you think that was a little AWKWARD for them? Anyway, this led them all to ask their listeners: What is your most embarrassing moment ever?

Now, my close friends will know that I am constantly humiliating myself. For example, Lynn had only been working 2 months before I farted in front of her. And then I did it again another 2 months later. Now, in anyone else's book, that would be VERY high up on the "most embarrassing moment" radar. But that was old hat for me!! I'd already done that way back in the 7th grade, when I was 11. I'm nearly 28 now. I have filled up those years with much worse humiliation galore.

So, what sticks out in my mind as my most embarrassing moment? That's easy. BYU sophomore year: Physiology class. (I know Judd knows this story. She also got a visual because I acted it out for her when we were in Ecuador. The rest of you will just have to use your imaginations.)

You should know that back in these days, I was just as large as I am now. That is to say, I was heavy AND carting around an extra 50 pounds in the form of a butt load of books. I think on the day of this particular incident I was going to be at school studying and taking multiple tests. I had brought all my book because I didn't want to go home and risking getting distracted. So I had a backpack FULL of books.

Well, physiology class was held in the MARB at BYU. The MARB has 4 large lecture halls, and each one holds around 300 students. The classroom is set up at a pretty steep angle to maximize the amount of students that can be squeezed into a room. At the top of the main seating section, there is a walkway leading to two exits on either side. Lining the wall were boxes with letters on them. My teacher would review our quizzes and tests and then return them in the box that corresponded to our last name.

The worst part is that at the end of class, 300 students rush the boxes on their way out of classes. It creates a very nice bottleneck traffic jam at the boxes, and it can be very difficult to navigate. ESPECIALLY when you have a huge backpack strapped to you messing up your balance and equilibrium.

So I go to the box that has my paper in it, and get it. I and trying to navigate my way out of the horrible bottleneck, but I'm looking down at my paper and not really paying attention to where I'm going. And then: disaster. I somehow make a misstep and get my foot tucked in my pant leg. And then it's happening. . . I'm going down. . . down. . . .down. TIIIIIMBER!!!! And the fall thereof was great.

And now I'm on the ground. And about 75 people are surrounding me, staring at me, trying to walk over me, to get to their papers so they can just get the heck out. And I'm trying to get up. But you try to get up when people are walking over you and more and more keep coming. That was only half of it. The other half, and the worst part about it was the backpack. It was pinning me to the floor, unrelenting.

So picture this: I'm a large girl, with a very large HEAVY backpack strapping me to the floor. I'm like a potato bug on it's back. Picture my legs kicking futilely as I'm trying to get them under myself and stand up. But it's all to no avail. I twist right, legs flailing. Not happening. I twist left, now sprawled out across the floor, doing a sort of "snow angel" on the filthy floor of the lecture hall. The bastard backpack was mocking me with it's weight.

I am a beaten woman. I finally figure out that I've been on the floor for FAR too long, and I just want my humiliation to end. But to make it end, I'm going to have to stoop to the lowest of lows. Here I go: I curl up in a ball, roll over onto all fours and FLING my body to the left. My backpack is now ON MY BACK where it belongs, and I can continue to get up. I crawl for a little bit on my hands and knees so I can get to a more "open" area of the mass, and then FINALLY I get up.

Is that horrifying enough for you? Let me tell you, for a very shy, un-attractive BYU sophomore who could never get a date, this was my version of hell. Well, if you have a hard time visualizing what I've said here, come over to my house. I'll be happy to give you a nice little demonstration.

So, I hope you enjoyed that trip down horror lane. Oh, by the way, Marcelo and I are assigned to speak in church tomorrow. Have I even THOUGHT about my talk? NOPE!! At least I know what my topic is. We'll see what time I start planning my talk tonight. . .or tomorrow morning. Oh, and I have to plan my lesson for my 9-year olds tomorrow too. When will I get to that, I wonder?

Oh well, off to eat another Toaster Strudel.

The Great Escape

Lynn might've found another job. She might have to take a small pay cut, but it will be doing something related to her masters degree. I will miss her horribly, but I am SOOO jealous she's getting out.

Here is the other thing. She might leave this weekend and just not come back. I mean, the POLITE thing is to give 2 weeks notice. But who are we kidding? No one in that office is ever polite to us. And you KNOW that if Jean fired her, she wouldn't give her two weeks notice so she could go find another job.

And I don't think that it would matter if she gave that notice or not. It's probably better she doesn't. Because if she did, they would just treat her horribly for those two weeks, and then talk total crap about her when she leaves. This way we can avoid the awkwardness and they can go right to talking that crap

Did I mention Jean, Matt and DAn are all leaving this weekend to go to a conference in San Diego? If she left and sent them an email saying that she's not returning, they would DIE. And I would prefer it because I wouldn't have to deal with them for a week.

If she makes the announcement on Friday, I'll need to work on my "shocked" face. Here are some of my practice faces:

You know what? Nevermind. I just looked at the photos I took, and I CANNOT show those to anyone. I don't know why I even go outside of the house looking the way I do. If you were to see those pictures, you would say, "WHO ATE ALICIA?!?!" I can't let you see those pictures. Please forgive me. I'm very fat.

But anyway, I'm totally going to have to play it dumb. I think i'll actually play it upset. Like "HOW COULD SHE DO THAT?!?! HOLY CRAP!!! I'M GOING TO BE SO BUSY!! WHY WOULDN'T SHE TELL ME!?!!" I think if I play it like I've been betrayed, Jean will believe me more.

Again, I'll miss Lynn, but I know we'll stay in touch. How else will she find out about all the crap that everyone is saying about her?

Anyway, wanna hear a funny story? (If you don't stop reading right now). Well, everyday I lock up Raya in the morning when I go to work and then after I come home for lunch. After lunch I lock her up for the afternoon. Before you tell me how horrible I am, please know that she's totally used to it. On Saturdays, she just wants to sleep all morning because that's what she's used to.

Well, today, I did everything as normal, but then when I came home this is what I found:


That's right. Somehow I forgot to lock her cage, or she jimmy-rigged it open and she a a HEYDAY with our trashcan. Can you see her in the background hiding in her cage? I didn't even have to yell at her. She was there before I came in, just WAITING for the wrath. Come see what I mean:




















I just had to LAUGH when I saw this. I mean, I don't blame her. It would be like getting mad at a shark for being attracted to blood. She knows that she's no supposed to, but she can't stop herself. She was just sitting her in cage awaiting my return. Did I mention my dog is hilarious and I love her?