My Baby's Silky Smooth Coat

To answer Reagan's comment on my last blog, the move is going slow. And how many houses have we lived in? Well, we have lived in 5 houses in the last 12 months. Take into account the 3 houses we lived in before that, and we have had 8 houses since being married. Averaging to 2 moves a year. I want to vomit just reading that. I don't want to move again. EVER.

Anyway, back to our anniversary. We almost forgot. There was just so much going on, and for the past few days none of us have been real aware of the actual date. And so I realized almost too late what time it was. Mom volunteered to watch Evi so we could go out and I took her up on it.

Evi has had lots of mocos the last few days, and it's been hard for her to breathe. Nursing has been hard, and she didn't take a long nap all day yesterday. I mean she would crash for like 20 min or a hour at the longest. But mostly she was just awake and fighting to breathe. It was rough listening to her breath fighting to get out, but those darned mocos wouldn't come out with the snot sucker.

Well, I feed Evi and then we left. I called from the restaurant and mom said she had given her a bath and she was OUT. She said she was so tired that her eyes were closed even before she laid down. I was happy and we finished our date and came home.

Just so you know, we did do something fun for our anniversary. We went to La Carreta. It's a Peruvian restaurant. It's the closest thing we can get to Ecuadorian food around here. Anyway, we got there very late and we were the only ones there. It was fun to just sit and talk to each other and not have a baby screaming.

Well, the next morning I noticed that there were some strange bottles on the floor of my shower. Some body wash, the dog shampoo, my shampoo, shaving cream, etc. I thought that was weird until I realized that the baby shampoo was over at the new house.

Then a horrible thought hit me. What did my mom use to wash my baby? I asked her and she said, "oh, you had some 'soothing oatmeal' shampoo so I used that." I went to the shower and pulled out a bottle and said, "is this the stuff you used?" and she said, yes. Yeah, it was the dog shampoo. My mom washed my baby with dog shampoo.

I don't blame her. Here is a picture of the shampoo bottle:


So do you see the word DOG stamped anywhere on this bottle in BIG BOLD letters? I totally can understand her confusion. There is no picture of a dog, and the only place it says dog is in teeny tiny letters right under the "G" logo. It says "For Dogs" really tiny and then it talks about "coat hydrating" properties in the box below. That could be for humans, right? If you are crazy and refer to your hair as your "Head coat" or "chrome pelt" as I like to call it. Then this bottle might work for you.

As it is, it's just funny. What ISN'T funny is the box on the back that says "keep out of reach of children so as to avoid consumption." And my mom said that she put the baby in that to swim around. Great! Awesome!! My kid was covered head to toe with horrible flea and tick killing, yet still nourishing, toxins. (I think all this oatmeal talk is terribly hyped up. Does the oatmeal neutralize the skin burning effects of the chemicals? Discuss) I am a horrible mother that bathes her child in dog shampoo toxins. I'll be accepting my mother of the year award this weekend. Thank you for all attending the ceremony held at Utah County Jail.

And to reply to Judd's comment, I will stop calling my dog "The little girl." I must admit that reading that and the phrase "300 bees" together is enough to stop someone's heart. But this latest debacle tells me that maybe I can start calling Evi "puppy girl" as a term of endearment. HA!

I'm a bad mother. The end