Spring, Spring Spring

My little girl loves the sun and loves to be warm. (She must get that from me) I think it's because she has such short hair and no body fat. (She does NOT get that from me :) What am I saying, she's a freaking DOG. She gets NOTHING from me!)But when I come home from lunch, she'll jump up on me and get a few moments of head scratching and then go right over and lay on the carpet in the sun. Her favorite place is right by the couch.

But now that the weather is getting better, I'll open the back door during my lunch break so she can run back and forth freely. Her schedule usually goes like this: Watch me eat my lunch and try to beg some food off my plate. When I finish eating, then it's time to go outside. She'll perch herself out the back door for about 10 minutes just listening to the birds. When she gets a little more brave, she goes and walks down the next step and points at the birds for another 10 minutes. Then she comes inside and makes sure that I'm still here. When she's secure about that, she goes out and listens to the birds for another 15 minutes. Near the end, she'll lay down on the warm steps and just relax in the sunshine. See what I mean?

Well, anyway, I got a picture of her just enjoying the sun yesterday afternoon. I can't wait until it warms up even more and I can bask in the sun with her. I'm tired of it being cold. It's time for SPRING.

And the phrase "Spring, spring, spring" needs to be sung, like the version from "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers." If you don't know about that movie, you are missing out on a cinematographic masterpiece. Make sure to take note of the painted back drops and fancy dancers. Gideon is my favorite.

Change of subject. Yesterday on the radio they were talking about how they were taking new photos of all the employees. One of the girls said that she had gained a little weight, and her pants were tighter than normal. So when she came into work, she went up and asked her co-worker if she had a little camel toe going on. He said that she didn't, but she still felt self-conscious about it, so she proceeded to ask the other two men in the room the same question, and waited as they all LOOKED and then gave her their opinion. Do you think that was a little AWKWARD for them? Anyway, this led them all to ask their listeners: What is your most embarrassing moment ever?

Now, my close friends will know that I am constantly humiliating myself. For example, Lynn had only been working 2 months before I farted in front of her. And then I did it again another 2 months later. Now, in anyone else's book, that would be VERY high up on the "most embarrassing moment" radar. But that was old hat for me!! I'd already done that way back in the 7th grade, when I was 11. I'm nearly 28 now. I have filled up those years with much worse humiliation galore.

So, what sticks out in my mind as my most embarrassing moment? That's easy. BYU sophomore year: Physiology class. (I know Judd knows this story. She also got a visual because I acted it out for her when we were in Ecuador. The rest of you will just have to use your imaginations.)

You should know that back in these days, I was just as large as I am now. That is to say, I was heavy AND carting around an extra 50 pounds in the form of a butt load of books. I think on the day of this particular incident I was going to be at school studying and taking multiple tests. I had brought all my book because I didn't want to go home and risking getting distracted. So I had a backpack FULL of books.

Well, physiology class was held in the MARB at BYU. The MARB has 4 large lecture halls, and each one holds around 300 students. The classroom is set up at a pretty steep angle to maximize the amount of students that can be squeezed into a room. At the top of the main seating section, there is a walkway leading to two exits on either side. Lining the wall were boxes with letters on them. My teacher would review our quizzes and tests and then return them in the box that corresponded to our last name.

The worst part is that at the end of class, 300 students rush the boxes on their way out of classes. It creates a very nice bottleneck traffic jam at the boxes, and it can be very difficult to navigate. ESPECIALLY when you have a huge backpack strapped to you messing up your balance and equilibrium.

So I go to the box that has my paper in it, and get it. I and trying to navigate my way out of the horrible bottleneck, but I'm looking down at my paper and not really paying attention to where I'm going. And then: disaster. I somehow make a misstep and get my foot tucked in my pant leg. And then it's happening. . . I'm going down. . . down. . . .down. TIIIIIMBER!!!! And the fall thereof was great.

And now I'm on the ground. And about 75 people are surrounding me, staring at me, trying to walk over me, to get to their papers so they can just get the heck out. And I'm trying to get up. But you try to get up when people are walking over you and more and more keep coming. That was only half of it. The other half, and the worst part about it was the backpack. It was pinning me to the floor, unrelenting.

So picture this: I'm a large girl, with a very large HEAVY backpack strapping me to the floor. I'm like a potato bug on it's back. Picture my legs kicking futilely as I'm trying to get them under myself and stand up. But it's all to no avail. I twist right, legs flailing. Not happening. I twist left, now sprawled out across the floor, doing a sort of "snow angel" on the filthy floor of the lecture hall. The bastard backpack was mocking me with it's weight.

I am a beaten woman. I finally figure out that I've been on the floor for FAR too long, and I just want my humiliation to end. But to make it end, I'm going to have to stoop to the lowest of lows. Here I go: I curl up in a ball, roll over onto all fours and FLING my body to the left. My backpack is now ON MY BACK where it belongs, and I can continue to get up. I crawl for a little bit on my hands and knees so I can get to a more "open" area of the mass, and then FINALLY I get up.

Is that horrifying enough for you? Let me tell you, for a very shy, un-attractive BYU sophomore who could never get a date, this was my version of hell. Well, if you have a hard time visualizing what I've said here, come over to my house. I'll be happy to give you a nice little demonstration.

So, I hope you enjoyed that trip down horror lane. Oh, by the way, Marcelo and I are assigned to speak in church tomorrow. Have I even THOUGHT about my talk? NOPE!! At least I know what my topic is. We'll see what time I start planning my talk tonight. . .or tomorrow morning. Oh, and I have to plan my lesson for my 9-year olds tomorrow too. When will I get to that, I wonder?

Oh well, off to eat another Toaster Strudel.