New post?

I promise I'll ill post something new and hilarious soon. In the meantime, I want you to know how my week went. To do that, you need to read this article here:

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/TakeControlOfYourLife/Story?id=4526313&page=1

And this one too:

http://money.cnn.com/magazines/fsb/fsb_archive/2007/07/01/100123041/index.htm

So that's so you can get an accurate picture of my work place environment. I also found this awesome story that I sent to Reagan back in June of 2006. I've been dealing with this kind of behavior for FAR too long. I think you all really REALLY support me when I tell you that I'm going to light my boss' hair on fire one day. Please enjoy my misery.

Dear Reagan,

You have to forgive me. I’m so sorry I couldn’t write yesterday. The s**t fell from the sky. I had like a million things on my desk, and then my boss decided to throw a tantrum like a 2 year old. Here is how it worked:

9:30 am: “Alicia, you need to call Circuit City and tell them my laptop won’t turn on”

I have the following items on my list of things to do for the day: Process 4 contracts (on those 4 contracts, I have to hunt down 4 different people to get 4 separate sets of signatures), process a listing, set up multiple listing appointments, inspections, home warranties fill out deposit slips for deposits that HAVE to be made today (or the state will shut down our office), set up all the print advertising for our office and answer the never ending ringing phone

I figure that even just ONE of those items is more important than her freaking computer. But I am, of course, wrong.

11:45: “Alicia, have you called Circuit city yet?” I say, “No, I got tied up with other *more important* things (items indicated between the *'s are words that were going through my head but not expressed out loud). “Let me call them right now”

I call and learn she has a warranty until 2009. I go into her office and I bring the laptop. “You have a warranty until 2009. It can be dropped off and they will look at it for free.” I say as I put the laptop on her desk. Her response: “Ok, do that”.

“Do it? Oh, I thought you wanted to take it in yourself. You want me to do that right now? I have 4 contracts and a listing to process. Can I wait until they are done?” She says, “NO, this is WAY more important than that.” And then she says the clincher: “I CANNOT FUNCTION WITHOUT MY LAPTOP.”

In my opinion, it is crazy to say that you cannot function without something that you only use 1 hour of the day. When I say I cannot function without something, I am usually talking about my thumbs, or my anal sphincter, or OXYGEN. But a laptop? A laptop that’s only purpose is to store her iTunes? She is in this office A LOT and she has a desktop computer here. She also has a desktop computer at home. In addition to her laptop she has at home!!! What can she possibly have to do that cannot be done on one of these other two computers?

So I have just had it. And I am thinking, “Fine, the 2 year old who writes my paycheck wants her cookies and juice right now, so I will go and take care of that RIGHT NOW!! GREAT!!!"

Then I realize that I don’t have a car because Marcelo has taken my car to get his oil changed. So I come back into the office and tell her this and work on those other million of things to do. And I’m secretly happy that I can’t do what she wants me to do RIGHT THEN.

After lunch I go to circuit city. I take it in and wait in a long line while about 9 Circuit city employees roam around the store and ignore the 5 people waiting in line! Hey asshole! I know you work here!! You are wearing the obligatory nasty red CC shirt and have chronic acne. I’m SURE you work her.

Then I go back to work and go back to the mountain of work I have to do. Then I get a call at about 4:30.

Apparently her computer is so fried that she has to mail it to Sony. I could have them mail it in, but it will take 3 weeks to get it back, when it would only take 1 week for us to get it back if we mail it in ourselves. I say, “Jean, I have to go pick it up. We have to mail it in ourselves. Your motherboard is fried. I’ll call Sony, they will send us a box, and then we’ll send it to them.” And here is her response, “I need it by Friday. Will they get it back to us by Friday?”

I have to S-L-O-W down my speech and use small words because obviously she isn’t listening to me. So I repeat again, “No, we will have to wait for them to send us a box, and then we will have to send a box to them. It will take at least a week AFTER they received the computer”

And here is the last thing she said. I almost flipped my shit AGAIN when she said this: “Well, you missed the mail deadline for today. That’s why I wanted you to do this so early in the morning. Now we lost a day. You should’ve done it in the morning”

WHAT PART OF “They have to send US a box before we can send it to them” DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND!!??? So I slow down and for the THRID time, I repeat myself telling her that it didn’t matter because we have to wait for THEM to send us a box before we can send it to them. She *finally* gets it, and lets me leave.

I am not kidding when I say that I am dealing with a two year old. You know how you have to tell piper something 3 times and she STILL doesn’t listen? Welcome to my job. That's my boss. a 54 year old college graduate has the same intelligence as your daughter.

Love, Alicia