Thanks for all the advice about mustard blow out poop! It seems OxiClean is the hands down winner. I don't have any of that, but I do have BIZ, so I'm going to use that until I can get some OxiClean.
Getting out of the house is somewhat of a struggle, as you new mothers know. Especially because no matter where I go, I have to worry about leaking through a shirt. Here is the thing: You have all seen the cup of milk in my previous blogs. That's a lot of milk, we know that. Here's what I do to prevent any of that from coming through my shirt: I have the plastic cups (which you have seen) and then on TOP of those, I put those nursing pads. Why? Because there is a little tiny hole at the top of the plastic cup that allows air to come in and out. And when I bend over, the milk in those cups will spill out the little pin sized hole. So I put nursing pads on top of those cups. And then my bra. And then I have my two layers of clothes. My G-top and my shirt. (For all of you that are shocked that I wear my G's on TOP of my bra, let me direct you back to the cup of milk that I produce every 4 hours)
So we are talking 5 layers of protection here. And the milk will STILL come through!! Often times it creates huge puddles on my shirt front. SO freaking embarrassing, and not looking to slow down any time soon. Yesterday someone called from my ward and asked if I needed anything. I told her I was looking for more plastic cup things, because these are so old and are leaking out the bottom. She said, "Oh, have you tried those nursing pads?" Uhhhhh, yeah, I wear those OVER the cups and the milk still soaks through. She said, "Oh my! Well, I guess it's better to make more milk than no milk at all"
And I totally agree!! I may whine a little about my leaking, but I am so blessed to be able to (abundantly) feed my little Monkey Face. I know that many women don't get enough milk, or their milk never comes at all! I am blessed to not have to worry about supplementing my milk with expensive formula (We are kind of in a money crunch now that I don't work anymore) and I'm just counting my blessings every day.
So I do have a point to this blog, and here is my question: How long is it ok to let you child cry while they are trying to go to sleep? My Pediatrician says that I should put her down when she is drowsy, (not completely asleep) and then she will TEACH herself to go to sleep. He said it's ok for her to cry. I failed to ask him how long I should let her do this. As I hear her scream and become DESPERATE It breaks my heart. But I know she's just tired. She's god PLENTY of food in her, she's got a clean bum, and I just burped her. She just needs to go to sleep.
I have an appointment with him next Thursday, so I'll ask him about that. But here's the bad thing: Sometimes I pull her into bed with me. :( Isn't that like no-no #1? Last night after hearing her cry for 7 minutes, I couldn't take it anymore. I just pulled her into bed with me, and she fell INSTANTLY asleep for 4 hours. When she woke up at 3:30, I changed her, fed her, burped her and then put her in the crib. She cried some more, but this time I let her cry it out in her crib and she put herself to sleep for another 3 hours.
So, I'm a BAD MOMMY because I'm not consistent. One time I let her scream, the next I pull her into bed and cuddle her until she sleeps for hours. I would like to hear how everyone feels about my bad mommy practices. Until then I'll just do what gets me the most amount of sleep, and what makes me feel the least guilty. And I'll keep doing whatever keeps my milk stains away from the viewing eyes of the public.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Bad Mommy
Posted by Ali at 10:03 AM
Labels: Boobs, Motherhood
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
I believe that up to around 3 months you can't spoil them. They are so use to being completely snuggled all day everyday for 9 months and they don't know any better. They just want to be close to their mom. When Bella wouldn't sleep very long by herself and I just needed sleep, I would sleep with her on me and I had the same worry as you do now. But she sleeps awesome now and all that sleeping on me didn't matter. She didn't become attached or I don't have to do that now in order to get her to sleep. I can put her down at night fine when she is drowsy and she will go to sleep. Just do now whatever works so that you get sleep and around 3 months she will start to develop her own sleep pattern. That is what at least worked for me. I never let her cry it out but do whatever you think feels right and you will soon get her in a pattern! Hang it there! Around 6 weeks is when she continually got better and better at sleeping.
Dude! YOU know better what she needs than any pediatrician. (Well, not like medical things but caring for your baby is your job and you do what works for you guys.)
That being said, here is my opinion - she is way too young to try and let her cry to sleep. I don't think you need to worry about getting her in a routine right now and getting her to fall asleep on her own. When she is older, sure, but right now? I wouldn't worry about it at all. Rock her to sleep, nurse her to sleep, whatever you want to do and lay her down.
With Gavin - he wouldn't sleep unless I held him. The only thing we said we wouldn't do before he was born was co-sleep. Guess what? It's the only way we both got sleep and at six months he transitioned into his crib like a champ.
I know a lot of people are anti co-sleeping but that's what works for us. I didn't even bother trying to figure the crib out with Owen - I just brought him to bed with us from day one and it was so easy to nurse and get sleep. of course this is just my preference.
And not to be sexist but you said your pediatrician is a "he." I'm sure he's smart and all that but he's never been a mom and I really truly believe that mommy instinct is something you should listen to.
As far as the boob milk - way to go! it will calm down. If you really really really need to lower your supply a bit (I had to with gavin) you can use cabbage leaves. Just be careful not to use them a lot. Check out kellymom.com about that. Also, what helped for me is wearing tight bras at first and I would usually wear a nursing tank over it and then a shirt. Yes, a lot of layers but it was better than having milk seep through everywhere.
Oh! I forgot another thing. About the poop blowouts. Sometimes Oxyclean wouldn't work and my friend said to use equal parts color safe bleach with the powder dishwasher detergent. It worked awesome! And use the hottest water possible with it.
Also - I have heard you can set things out in the sun and it was help get the stains out. I have never tried that but I might the next time around if the others don't work.
I agree with the others that I wouldn't let her cry yet. I am all for cry-it-out method ... when they are closer to, like, six months old.
The first six months: sure the "put them down while drowsy" idea is GREAT and certainly worth a shot but it doesn't work for every child -- and even in the kids it does work for it doesn't work every time.
I say that ANY way you can get them to sleep is the BEST way. For now, it's survival mode. Snuggle 'em, swaddle 'em (Josh loved this), let 'em sleep in the carseat if you have to -- it really isn't that much work to undo any "bad habits" when the baby's four, five, six months old when the baby's schedule is established.
Also: I can think of nothing sweeter than snuggling up with your newborn baby next to you, taking a nap together. This is one of the best memories I have of my time with Logan as a newborn.
Also, I remember feeling just like you, too: not sure what to do, trying everything, feeling bad that I was "inconsistent." And trying to follow the doctor's advice (or my mother-in-law's advice, or the advice in the free baby magazine that came in the mail) but realizing that a) they would conflict and b) none of it was as good as following my GUT. So yeah, follow your instincts -- you will do just fine!
(How's that for my essay answer??) :-)
Me again. ;) Beth - I totally agree with what you said too. I didn't even think about CIO until 6 months - you just can't spoil a newborn baby I don't think.
I just wanted to second the swaddling. It may even seem like she hates it at first but give it a minute and see if it calms her down. Both Gavin & Owen would throw their arms up in the air when they slept and wake themselves up and swaddling really helped.
I've had them sleep in the swing, in the bouncy chair, in the carseat - like Beth said - wherever!
Trust yourself and don't let someone guilt you into doing something that you don't feel right about. Oh, and if you don't want to tell your doctor that you are co-sleeping - don't!
I never tried to get my kids to put themselves to sleep before four months. I would try to lay them down while they were drowsy, but if they cried for more than two minutes, I would pick them up. Routines are impossible until they are closer to 4 or 5 months. Regarding the stains, I've tried both Oxi Clean and Biz, and I think that soaking in Biz and HOT water works better on the poop. Oh!, and the quicker you get it soaking, the better. Just my two cents. Nothing you are doing is being a bad mom, you do what you need to do to get them to sleep. There is no "wrong way." You're doing awesome!
Post a Comment