Triggers

I love my little girl. Especially because she KNOWS what's going on. I call those her "Triggers." I know she's not the only one that has them. Reagan said that her little girls had this 6th sense about the swing and as soon as she would put them in it they would be like "ALERT!! Mom's trying to get something done!! QUICK. . . START CRYING! WHHHAAAAAAAA!"

My little girl has the same uncanny ability. Here is the "fastest" way to get stuff out of my little girl:

* The fastest way to get my baby to wake up is to climb into bed. At night time, I will nurse my baby, burp her, and then put her in her crib. Then I can do ANYTHING for ANY amount of time and she'll stay asleep. I'll go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, flush the toilet, blow dry my hair. . . well, you get the idea. I'll be walking around getting ready for bed, making what I consider to be a giant ruckus. And then I'll tiptoe into bed, pull back the covers and climb in. The springs will squeak, and then . . . "Wa, waa, WHHAAAA!" Are you kidding me? What is that? Then I'm torn between feeding her again (which we know she doesn't need) or letting her scream for a little while to tire herself out. Or getting up and letting her scream in my ear as I walk around the room bouncing her. UGH!! CURSE YOU SQUEAKY BED!

* The fastest way to get my baby to spit up/burp is to burp her without a rag on my shoulder protecting me. I actually tested this theory last night at 1:30 am. She was fussing, fussing, wouldn't burp it up. Then I removed the rag, and BLUUUUUGH. Spit up down my front AND back. Delicious. The feeling of my shoulder without a rag is a very strong trigger for vomit from my little girl.

* The second fastest way to get my baby to spit up is to change her diaper. I think it has something do do with tipping up her body to change her diaper. There will be poop everywhere and I need to keep her body up so I don't get poop all over her blanket, or the Boppy, or her clothes. And then all of a sudden, I will look at her mouth and there's curdled milk just rolling out of it. And I no longer have to worry about keeping things clean: she's just soiled everything with her mouth juice. Remember that. Can't make your kid burp? Change her diaper.

* The fastest way to get my baby to poop is to change her diaper. She'll have a dry dry diaper and then she'll decide to go pee. So I try to be a "good mommy" and change her right away. And as I'm putting on the last sticky side, she fills up her diaper with her special brand of sticky slimy poop. So I have to change her again. And you know what? She's not done!! She poops again. Sometimes I don't even have the tabs on, I just have the diaper placed UNDER her and she fills it up. Or should I say "fills on TOP of it." I think my record is 4 diapers in 1 hour. AHHHH, the money I spend on her cute little bum.

So those are her "Triggers" and the fastest way for me to make her do certain things. But I love her so much. So I don't care how much vomit or poop I have to deal with.