It's Estée Lauder!!

I had the BEST time last night. I am talking a pee your pants good time. And what did I do? Well, about 9:30 pm I headed up to Lisa's house with the promise of some amazing peach cobbler awaiting me. As I drove into her neighborhood, I notice that it must be trash day. There were piles of debris and tree limbs lining the street.

Well, as get to her house, she tells me that it's not trash day, but it's something called "neighborhood clean up day" and you can put anything you want out on the curb (except toxic stuff, of course) and they will come and take it away!! She then tells me a story about how her neighbor across the street put out some Terra Cota planters and she saw them and immediately wanted them.

BUUUUT someone had spotted them too! There was a sneaky man in a dirty truck driving around. He obviously was going around looking for stuff to swipe. Lisa said his truck was already full of crap. But he saw her and drove away. She knew this was her moment so she ran across the street and grabbed them. As she was walking back with the second one in her arms, the truck guy came back. She quickly stashed it so he wouldn't see her with it. He saw that the pots were gone and saw Lisa messing around in her garage. He shouts, "did you take those pots?" and Lisa said, "A BOX? I HAVEN'T SEEN A BOX!!"

Then she told him that people have been coming and going so she can't help him locate it. Even though both she and the guy KNOW that the pots were there only 2 minutes before. We laughed about it, and the realized that that guy really had a good idea: neighborhood shopping!! We ate our peach cobbler (with vanilla ice cream, of course) and it was freaking delicious. So amazingly delicious. The crust was hot and crusty and buttery and just. . . . . ahhhhh! You have no idea.

And then we jumped in the car and started shopping. I'm going to say this: there was some boob grabbing, some peeing of the pants, some vomiting and lots of Mexican Ranchero music. AND LOTS OF FREE STUFF!!! We were out there till 2 am and here are some photos of the night:


This is a picture of us "spotting a possible goody bag" on the side of the road. Notice the look of anticipation on our faces. Unfortunately there was nothing good in the box.

This is Reagan with just ONE of the car seats she got. They are booster seats that she and Lisa will use for their little kids!! Car seats? Are you kidding me? SCORE!
















This is a awesome rug that Reagan found. Her new house has lots of hardwood floors, so this rug is really going to come in handy. And it's a nice one!

And right here is where we get the title of this blog. Inside this bag, Reagan found a brand new jumbo pack of pampers wipes which she immediately gave to me. (I still don't know why she didn't keep them for herself, or give them to Lisa. Last I checked, both of them still have kids in diapers! THANKS AGAIN REAGAN!!) Anyway, she started rummaging through the bag, and she starts pulling out face cremes and other cosmetics. Lisa says, "Maybe we shouldn't do this in the middle of the street" and Reagan says, "But, It's Estée Lauder!" HA!! We told her to grab the whole bag and sift through it later, but she changed her mind. She said it made her feel like a raccoon to tear into a plastic bag and rummage around. That raccoon comment almost made me pee my pants (again).
















Regan found these two chests to put at the end of her bed. The one on the left was crappier than the one on the right, so she decided she only wanted the good one. So she and Lisa are picking it up while Reagan says something hilarious, I'm sure. All I know is that right after I took this picture, Lisa had to put the chest down because she was hopping around, crossing her legs and peeing her pants. So here is a photo of Lisa ACTUALLY in the process of peeing her pants. (I think she learned right then that tightly close eyes do NOT equal a tightly closed pee spout.)















We drive into a cul-de-sac and Lisa screams "WICKER FURNITURE!!" Reagan had already scored one wicker chair, and these two just added that much more to the set. We actually had to drive to Reagan's house with the CAR SIDE DOOR OPEN and the wicker chair 90% out the door (Reagan was holding onto it for dear life, even as it started to rain) because there wasn't room enough for all the goodies. We actually made multiple trips back to Lisa's house to unload so we could get more stuff. But this time we decided that we needed to just take the stuff directly to Reagan's house.

And this is a video of Reagan trying to put that brown chair you see up there on the right in front of the car and get pushed by the car: It didn't quite work, but it was VERY entertaining.



Notice how there is Ranchero music in the background. And how Reagan has to dance around to avoid peeing in her pants. Oh the urine!!

Here is the best story of the night: We saw a TV in front of the neighbor's house. We didn't want to examine it too closely there (in case our loud laughing and Ranchero music had already woken them up and they were watching us from their windows) and so we got it in the car quickly so we could get it back to Lisa's to examine it. (Side note, I've finally accepted the fact that I'm pregnant. I tried to help Regan pick up the TV and realized that I couldn't bend over easily, and I couldn't pick it up with my belly in the way. So I guess it's official: I'm having a baby.)

So when we get it to Lisa's we realize it is missing a cord to plug it into the wall, and it's a crazy complicated cord and would probably be more money than the actual TV is worth. So we decide to put it out on front of Lisa's house so we don't have to cart it all the way back to the neighbor's house. So Reagan and Lisa try to pick it up together. But Lisa gets her arms all the way around it. And Reagan can't get a good grip on it. So Lisa is staggering, falling into Reagan, and her hand is like smashed up against Reagan's boob. She shouts, "Help me, all I'm holding is your boob here!!"

They put down the TV and dance around (again, trying to keep from peeing their pants) and try to decide what to do. They decide to go get the kids' little wagon and pull the TV to the street. So they get the wagon and now it's time to lift it up again and put it inside. Reagan says, "on the count of three: One, Two, Three." However, on three, Reagan does NOT pick up the TV. She instead reaches out across the top of it and grabs Lisa's boob!! It was OVER.

Maybe you think that I'm kidding when I say that I was laughing so hard I peed my pants. I AM NOT KIDDING. A good teaspoon of my own liquid came out over that boob incident. I don't know how much the other girls peed, but I definitely had damp pants.

But it doesn't end there. Boob shenanigans over, we wheel it to the curb. I notice a nice down comforter in front of Lisa's house and I ask her about it. She said that it's all torn up and not usable anymore. Well, Lisa then comments on how she wants to kind of "hide" the TV so her neighbors don't notice that we moved their TV from across the street and into the cul-de-sac. She says she wants to hide it. she starts to pull out like a board or something when I remember the comforter! Well, I grab it and start to lay it on the TV. I notice that it needs to be pulled out from under the box it's currently laying, and so I give it a good tug. FEATHERS EVERYWHERE!!

CURSE YOU PREGNANCY MEMORY! Didn't Lisa JUST say that it was all torn up? And wouldn't that mean that feathers would be able to get out? DUH!! But it was like that one gentle tug sent a blast of air and feathers up into my face, mouth, nose, eyes. I was blinded for 2o seconds while I listen to Joel, Lisa and Reagan howl with laughter around me. Once I get the feathers out of my nose, I too laugh with them.

However, the damage has been done, and there are feathers down my throat. I start coughing, and then it's all over. I start dry heaving and then I start puking. MY COBBLER!!! Awww, rats! Oh well, at least it's over quickly. Reagan felt badly, but honestly, I'm glad I did it rather than not do it and feel crappy for the rest of the night. So that's the puking story.

I actually didn't get a picture of the BEST score of the night: MY PACK AND PLAY!! It was one of the first things that we scored, and it was seriously the steal of the night. Brand new, perfect condition, perfect for my little one. It even has a sun shade!! I will be LOVING having this thing at Lake Powell in a month or two. Seriously, it was a major steal.

So here is a final list of the loot we scored: Help me out if I forgot anything, will you ladies?
Me: New jumbo pack of wipes
Pack & Play
Little Tikes plastic rocket swing.

Reagan: Rugs (3 total. One of them being a "kid's rug" that has streets on it to use to drive around cars. It's awesome)
Plastic Cozy Cruiser
Little girl playsets:One Dora The Explorer Kitchen and one Vanity play set.
2 computer monitors
Wicker furniture for her front porch
Wooden chest for the foot of her bed

Lisa: Couches (Nice set of couches)
Plastic Cozy Cruiser
What else did you get Lisa? I'm sure you scored more stuff. Sorry, can't remember

And finally, you might notice that Reagan now has bangs. She got them cut JUST that day. When she walked it, I totally thought that she looked like Brittany from the 4th Cycle of America's Next Top Model. You tell me if you agree:




















Don't you think that she totally looks like her!?!?! Especially with the bangs in the picture on the left. Anyway, this post has been WAY too long, but I enjoyed giggling as I remembered the fun times we had last night. Let's go dumpster diving again soon, ladies!!!