Telling Secrets in Utah

I decided to tell my family about the pregnancy. I don't know what finally pushed me over the edge, but I think it was the guilt. I wasn't sure how certain members of my family would take the news, but I was sure that some others would be very upset if went the whole pregnancy never told them.

So Thursday, I called Tina and told her. I asked her if she thought that I should tell everyone else. She of course said I should. I explained to her a little more about how nervous I was, and what if they start asking questions and make me regret telling them? She said, "Well, do the questions actually bother you, or is it more who is saying them? Like if I said the same thing, would you feel the same way?" She had a good point there. I might just be a little sensitive because those questions come from my mom.

She said, "You have to tell her. TONIGHT. And with all the crap that is happening with Jacob, this might really cheer her up!" So I waited for Marcelo to come home and I called her that night. She started by updating me with the latest "Jacob Drama." Point Simple: She feels like she's become a prisoner in her own house. But that story should be saved for a later time.

Anyway, so I could hear that people were arriving at the house and she needed to be with them, so she said, "is there anything else?" and i said, "Yeah. I'm sorta, kinda, a little bit pregnant." There was a long intake of breath and she was like "REALLY? OOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!!!" And so I knew that I had made the right decision. And then I had to drop the bomb of how far along I am. I said, "And I'm kind of far along. I'm 20 weeks already." She thought I was kidding. Her actual words were "Are you kidding?"

She was VERY excited about me being pregnant. She told me that she kind of felt the same way when she kept getting pregnant over and over again. She said that she worried what her siblings or other might say, but that her mother, was always super supportive. She also made a point of telling me her schedule for that month, so I was aware that she could be here at ANY TIME to help with the delivery/post delivery hijinx. (and I fully plan on hijinx, people) So that was nice to know that my mother has been in my same position many times.

She said, "did you know when I was out there in September?" And I tried to remember when she was here, and I said, "No, I didn't find out till the end of September" and she said, "but you knew when we were out there for Thanksgiving, right?" and I said, "Yeah, I knew then" and she said, "You rascal!!" But secretly I think that she was happy I told her so late. I mean, basically the first three months are all whining about how sick you are, right? Who wouldn't mind missing that?

I tried to call Sarah that night, but she couldn't be reached. I finally talked to her and told her the news and she said, "YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" That was more that I was expecting. I don't know, but maybe my family was starting to worry if I was reproductively challenged? Well, I'm not. It was also very nice to hear that she supported me too. I was worried about that one as well.

And then last night there was a get together at Nate's house. Alan and Rhonda were bringing food to make homemade Cafe Rio salads. I knew that I would probably be telling everyone there, but I didn't know how I should make the announcement. Should I stand up on a table and ting a glass like I was offering a toast or something? Nate's in-laws told me that I should give the announcement in Spanish and then let the other ones figure it out on their own.

But an opportunity presented itself and so I didn't have to think about it. Alan welcomed everyone to the house, and he said, "we'll have the prayer and then this is the order: Pregnant women get to eat first." And he turns around to Holly Thompson (who is 24 weeks pregnant) and he says "So that means Holly goes first. Unless there are other pregnant women here." And just like that, I raised my hand.

The room didn't have to go silent, because it already was. But everyone's eyes just went really big and Alan said, "I didn't know! I didn't get the announcement." And I said, "I just made it!" And then everyone was excited and then we ate food. It was good food.

So now everyone knows why i passed out on new years eve at 10 pm and I didn't mind sleeping through the festivities. And why I stopped stripping wall paper that one day: I went into the bathroom and read the bottle on the wallpaper stripper that said, "This product has a chemical known to the state of California to cause cancer and birth defects." I think mom just thought I was SUPER lazy because everyone else was upstairs and I was downstairs and she was like "come finish the walls with us" and I was like "Ummm, no. I'm done." That's why I was done.

About that blog that a posted a while ago about the Thanksgiving shenanigans and my family not knowing about the pregnancy: I have to say that my family really surprised me and made me feel really awful for thinking that they wouldn't be supportive. I guess I underestimated the support they would give. And I feel badly about that. So I apologize for that. Sorry.

Apparently people think we are crazy because we don't want to know what we are having. Like last night I pulled out my ultra sound photos, and there were many comments about how everyone could DEFINITELY tell what I'm having. I disagree but i'll leave that story for tomorrow after I scan them in so you can see what I'm talking about.

But the comments are coming across continents. Marcelo talked to his family on Friday and his mom asked if my belly was growing out in front or to the sides. Well, truthfully, I'm just plain BIG right now. And I have some pretty substantial love handles, so Marcelo answered the best he could and said, "Mostly to the sides" so his mom said, "Then it's definitely a girl." I love that Latino wisdom. (AKA superstition)

Ok, That's enough for today. Ultra sound pictures tomorrow!!