I haven't felt the baby yet. This upsets me. It doesn't really worry me because every time I go into the doctor's office I get to hear the heart beat. And the ultrasound last week. And I SAW it move, so I know it's alive and kicking. But I can't feel it.
I've been told that I have to be quiet and still to be able to feel it. So I lie there in the morning and at night and just wait. Nothing. It's like my baby is making sure NOT to kick me when I can feel it, just to piss me off. And I don't like that my baby is trying to piss me off even before it's born.
I'm just saying that I'm trying to be a good mom and it's like my offspring is making a preemptive strike to let me know that IT'S the boss. I know it will be the boss, but I'd like to delude myself into thinking that for at least 5 more months that I do have some say in my life.
Does it know what I'm going through for it? I keep getting fatter, and it's getting harder and harder to hide my belly from my co-workers and my boss. I'm going into sticker shock for how much this pregnancy is going to cost, and then there is the stress about trying to sell our house in the VERY month that I quit my job and have a baby. I'm just a little upset that my baby knows all of this (I've told it everything so it's up to date on what's going on) and still chooses to be stubborn. I do all of this for it, but it doesn't let me feel any benefits of the pregnancy. It's very hurtful. You know, in my heart.
On a different note, Marcelo didn't sleep at ALL last night. He cleaned the baby's room, installed a light fixture, decided that he didn't like the light fixture, un-installed it and then watched some TV. Didn't get a moments sleep. I don't know what to do to help him. He just worries and then he can't sleep.
But he's gone to help a friend move a dryer up two flights of stairs and then he's going to come home and crash. I know he will. So what does that leave the wife to do? Anyone? Anyone? I am bored already, and I won't be doing anything with Marcelo any time soon so I don't know what to do with my day. I've already taken then little girl for a walk, and she's now taking a nap. She's used to sleeping all day while I'm at work, so she's no fun. What to do? What to do?
Suggestions?
I thank you for your time.
(I think I might go get some Del Taco. Reagan talks about it all the time. I just don't know if I want to be burping up Taco Seasoning for the rest of the night. Why do they make that stuff so strong? It's like freaking paint thinner: if you leave a spoonful of it on your counter, it will corrode away a hole)
Saturday, January 12, 2008
All Quiet on the Southern Front
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4 comments:
I was freaked out about not feeling the baby the first time around ("was THAT something? Was THAT it? What about THAT?") It honestly felt basically like gas bubbles at the beginning, and when you're pregnant and your internal organs are getting squashed around anyway, who knows what's going on down there.
And then I was freaked out the second time around, too. "They" say you can feel it sooner during subsequent pregnancies, but I didn't.
By the end you will wish the kid would just settle down in there already. :-) (But you will secretly like it.) (Maybe.)
I hope you found something to do while Marcelo crashed. I am drawing a blank for fun activities.
You are moving? Why??
How many weeks are you? I didn't feel my first baby move until I was about 20-21 weeks. By the time I was pregnant with my fourth.....I felt him at 16....you recognize it easier. Don't stress, pretty soon you'll be waking up in the middle of the night a yelling toward your belly "STOP JUMPING ON MY BLADDER!"
I'm 21 weeks and 2 days right now. Sometimes I poke at my belly to try to get it to wake up and play with me. No dice. But I said the same thing to the Ultra Sound Tech: I said "I shouldn't want it to happen so soon because soon it will feel like it's playing soccer with my bladder" She said, "Yeah, I've heard that's the way it is"
And Beth, we've been wanting to move ever since last summer when we went to Missouri to visit my brother. We just love it there. I think it's the green color that attracted me, and I know it's the humidity that attracted Marcelo. (The dry desert air is killing him. Just imagine the most sensitive part of your body and imagine that it's chapped, and cracked and bleeding. You would miss the humidity too)
Here, Here! Yah, Alicia, soon you will be like, "HEY KID, settle the FREAK down!"
I love the midwest, I give you kudos for such a great choice. However, I will miss you terribly. And you can't leave until I become the official favorite aunty to your kid.
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