Hoarders

Do you watch the show "Hoarders" on TV? That show really REALLY scares me. Mostly because it's my legacy.

See, my maternal Grandma was a hoarder. A serious kind. The only think that kept her from living with 8 foot walls of trash in her home was my mother. My mother would go over to her house a few times a week and every time she would leave she would pack up a few bags of trash and leave them on the back porch. She couldn't let my grandma actually SEE her take them out of the house, because she would freak out. So she would put them outside, and then say her goodbyes and leave and then sneak around to the back and pick them up. It was just necessary.

Of course, things were much worse before we moved to Eureka. Before that happened, we would go to my g-ma's during the summer house and just be there in the muck. She had a 4 bedroom house, but the biggest bedroom upstairs(the size of the master and another room put together) was closed and locked. Not only that, the upstairs hallway to get to the room was locked too. One day I found the key to unlock that room, and I showed it to my mom. She got all quiet and then really REALLY excitedly said, "seriously? Can I see it?" I handed it over and she ran right up the stairs. Bashed her way around the boxes and unlocked the door. Only to discover that the room was so full of boxes that the door couldn't even be opened. That's the way my grandma lived.

And that's my heritage. And so whenever I see homes like that I have to blame the other spouse for a little bit of the problem. A person will get away with as much as you let them. So as long as the non-hoarding spouse keeps their mouth shut or in some other way acquiesces, it will continue. Why not just grab a bag one day and fill it with as much crap you can find? Take it from the bottom of the stack I mean that stuff hasn't been seen for years, so there is no way the hoarder can say "But i was USING that!". Also, if the hoarder claims that there are "special keepsakes" you can say "well, they obviously aren't that special to you because you have piled trash on top of them". I'm basically saying there is no excuse that can't be proven to be a total justification for their actions.

Because I'm afraid of becoming a hoarder, I tend to like moving. It helps me keep my house clean. I always do a purger as I'm packing up my stuff. And I loveLOVElove to throw things out. Even clothes. Like if I get a new shirt, my rule to myself is that I have to get rid of an old one. If I buy 4 shirts, I have to get rid of 4 shirts. This usually isn't a problem because I always have clothes that I end up not wearing for quite a while. It just makes me keep myself in check. And keeps my closet from being over run. (but then I look and see how many more clothes Marcelo has than me and I get seethingly jealous. Maybe I should re-think this whole "get a shirt, lose a shirt" idea)

So don't be surprised if I come over to your house and start throwing things away. It's what I've trained myself to do. And I'm sorry if I throw away your prized afghan that was crocheted for you by your great grandmother. I don't care if it's your nakey blankey or not. Becuase seriously, it had to go. It had mysterious stains on it and smelled like 3 day old Ecua-Cheese. You'll thank me later.