WRITE THAT ONE DOWN!!

I don't know if everyone is aware that my family is crazy. Sometimes it's the crazy that makes you so embarrassed you want to shave your head and move to Tibet so you never have to talk to anyone anymore. But sometimes it's the crazy that makes great memories and then makes you so happy that this is your family.

That IS my family when it comes to the 4th of July. And the funny thing is that for the most part, I know that my family is crazy. But sometimes, I'm just so IN it that I don't see the craziness until I step away and try to explain it to people. And as I'm doing it, I hope that people are enjoying it as much as I am.

So I tried to do that last night. I went over to Lisa's house and she bought a big package of Fireworks from Costco. It was so much fun because her boys would attach a firework to their bikes or scooters and ride around their cul-de-sac with sparks shooting out the backs. So much fun. Noah got spooked one time and dropped the scooter with the sparks, and Eli picked it up and rode it out. Another time, Eli was riding around and was taking his hands off the handlebars. He was so great and having such a great time. And we loved watching it.

So, that's what we did last night. But if it were my family, if I were home and spending time with my family this is what would happen:

We would buy a few "choice" fireworks and plenty of sparklers and ground flowers. We never really bought the big box of fireworks, just a few individual ones. As a 7-12 year old, you want to just set off as many as you can in a row. As soon as one ends, you want another one to be lit up. Never ending fireworks, that's a kid's idea of what fireworks should be. NOT IN MY FAMILY! You have to ANNOUNCE the name of the firework before you light it off. Here is a play by play for you.

Me: (Running out with a lighter and another one) I have the next one!!
My mom: WHAT'S IT CALLED? READ THE NAME!!
My aunt: The name!! The name!!
Me: It's called "Golden Showers"
My aunt: What did you say? Say it louder. Grandma didn't hear
Me: (shouting out from the middle of the street) IT'S CALLED "GOLDEN SHOWERS"
My aunt, mom and Grandma: (Mixed mumbles of ) oh, "Golden Showers". . .. oh, that sounds nice. . .oh, I wonder if that's safe. . . hmm Golden Showers. . .Sounds lovely. . .Golden Showers. . .
Me: (Lights the firework)
Firework: (Explodes)
My aunt, mom and Grandma: Oooooooo!!! Weeee!!! (Clapping) Look at that!! Ohh!! "Golden Showers" indeed!! Ohh! how nice!! This is a good one What's that one called again? "Golden Showers?" Oooooo! That's very descriptive!! Very appropriate!! Oooo!! Weeee!!!! (Clapping) Weeee!!! This is a good one.
Firework: (Ends)
Grandma: Write that one down!! That was a good one! Write that one down for next year! I want to get that one again next year. Write it down. Who has the paper? Shari, do you have the paper? Who has the paper? Dakota, go get a piece of paper.
Everyone: (waits for my cousin Dakota to get a piece of paper and a pen. No other fireworks can be set off while we are waiting for the paper and pen)
Grandma: Write that one down. What was it called again? Flaming Fountain? No? What was it called again? Alicia, run out to the street, read the name off it again.
Me: (Not running out to the street) I think it's called "Golden Showers"
Grandma: Run out and look just to make sure.
Me: (Running out into the street and wondering why we can't just set these off like normal families do. Why is it such a dang procedure?) (Me shouting) IT'S CALLED GOLDEN SHOWERS
Grandma: Oh yeah, Golden Showers. WRITE THAT ONE DOWN.
Me and my cousins: Can we do another one? Let's do another one. Quick! Let's do another one!!
My aunt, mom and Grandma: Ok, you can do another one. . .WHAT'S IT CALLED?? READ THE NAME FIRST!!!

I'm not kidding when I said that it took a million years to set off fireworks. The 4th was never my favorite holiday for this reason. But looking back on it, I think it's so funny that they would torture all of us this way. I fully expect to torture my kids in the same way.

And let's face it!! It has made for some great memories. If you want to make me and my brothers and sisters smile, all you have to do is say, "WRITE THAT ONE DOWN." Ahh, crazy family memories.

Another thing you should know is that fireworks can be legally set off in Eureka year round. It's so green and so wet that there is no fire danger ever. So you can set them off whenever you want. And boy do we!! And we come up with some pretty nifty ways to doctor them up. Ground Fowers and Piccolo Pete's are the most easily doctored, and they create the most "spectacular" results. But that's another story for another day.

Finally, here are some pictures of "Hobo Paisley."
















Eating several Oreos created this nice beard. And I think she found this corn cob off someone's plate. Let's all assume she found it off a plate rather than the alternative: She pulled it out of the garbage where it was lying next to one of Evi's dirty diapers. Yeah, I prefer the plate image.

Anyway, I'm so thankful to Reagan, Joey and Lisa for inviting me and making the 4th so much fun. Here's to more 4th of July memories!!