It's going around

So we are all sick. Evi got it first on Christmas Eve. I should've known because she was acting a fright at P.F. Chang's that night. She was screaming at the top of her lungs and didn't want to eat anything. (Marcelo and I still enjoyed the food, though. So the evening wasn't totally ruined)

And she continued to get sicker over the next 12 hours. Which means that me, the primary kisser of her face also am sick. I got it Christmas night.

And now Marcelo has it. He got it last night.

I think everyone with a husband will back me up when I say this: Men are horrible when they are sick. I mean, we ALL have it. This whole house is infected. Bibi's nose is on a 24 hour drip and the poor girl can't breathe. Also, I had it starting yesterday, but I still managed to feed everyone 3 meals, return things to various stores and clean this house . . .twice (with a place this small you have to clean constantly or it looks horrible)

But once Marcelo gets sick? ALERT THE NEWS MEDIA!! MARCELO IS SICK!! He sleeps in bed all day, and asks for meals to be catered to him. I didn't see him offering to cater meals to me when I was sick! Nor did I see him volunteering to watch the baby so I could take a 8 hour nap during the day.

Seriously, what is it about guys that makes them so weak when they are sick? I might as well have a second child for all the good he is to me now.

Anyway, I'm sure all your husbands are this way. I 'm sure I don't hold the monopoly on whiny sick husbands.

The worst part about it? We agreed to volunteer in the nursery today for the permanent teachers. And now we can't do it. We need to find subs in the next 25 min. I'm thinking that won't happen, so we might have to send our kids to another class. We'll see.

Happy snotting!!

DISCLAIMER!! No matter what the picture says, we don't have swine flu. Just a general cold virus going around.

People let me tell you about my Best Friend

I know you were all dying to see more pictures and videos of Evi and Raya. WELL YOU ARE IN LUCK!! Here you go.

Evi really does love Raya. Evi brings her all her favorite toys and clothes to her cage. You would not believe the stuff I have found in there. Toothbrushes and books. Even her prized rabbit was in there!! Now that's love. She also makes sure Raya gets all her leftovers. And if Raya doesn't want to eat it voluntarily, Evi has learned how to grab her mouth, lift the side of it and shove stuff in between her teeth. (mental note:get that on camera)

Anyway, one day Evi was on one. I don't know what was in her food, but she was acting seriously crazy. And this is what happened: peek-a-boo with Raya. Notice Evi's merriment at all Raya actions:



Look at Raya's face. She's in misery!! She's like "when will this be over??" But she puts up with it. She always does.

Here is some more abuse. Evi found this sticker and after pulling it off her arm over and over, she thought, "where else can I stick this?" Naturally the most logical choice was Raya's head:






Look at the gaze of pure torture on Raya's face. She's like "I know I'll get in trouble if I object. So, please don't push too hard on my head." Did I mention I have the best dog ever?

Here she is putting up with a few kisses, an off key song, and a tackle that results in a head banging.



Oh the tortures that this dog puts up with! She is a saint. I'm so happy they are best friends. I should get them matching BFF bracelets.

Cause that wouldn't be weird or anything.

Whipping Rabbit

My first child loves this rabbit. It was given to me from someone at a shower. I can't remember who. I kept it around even though I never thought she would like stuffed animals. But she proved me wrong. Here is how I found her during nap time one day.















And here she is sharing dinner with him. "One for me. . . One for you". And I love how she makes sure he stays hydrated. That is applesauce she's got there, if you were wondering.



But my favorite activity she does with him is the "whipping" rabbit. Much like the book of the same name, Bibi often tries to make this rabbit take her punishments. Namely, her time outs. (She gets time outs for ripping ornaments off the tree). And so when I came around the corner, this is what I found:

(That's her time out corner, of course). I'm sure the rabbit deserved it, and he took his punishment well. What a good whipping rabbit.

I hope everyone is having a good Christmas season. Marcelo finally got his grades back from this semester, so he told me that his vacation has OFFICIALLY started now. So on this night before Christmas I'm going to sign off and watch White Christmas with my husband. Yes, he is willing to watch it with me. Wait till he gets to the dancing numbers. I'm not sure he'll be into it then.

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope Frank Lloyd Wright visited your house as well this season. He is so generous around the holidays.

Book Review: Naked

Naked by David Sedaris


My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Dave Sedaris is hilarious. That's a given. However, this book has a lot more sex, (and specifically GAY sex) in it than his other books. Maybe more than all his others combined. There's just a lot about being gay, thinking gay, looking at other men, men coming on to him etc.

On the upside, I realized 2 Sedaris books ago that I can name all the 6 kids in his family: Lisa, Dave, Gretchen, Amy, Tiffany and The Rooster. Maybe I need to read something else.

Hmmm.

Holiday Panic

I am in full panic mode. I haven't bought ANYTHING for anybody, and there are only like negative three days left before Christmas. (I'm kidding of course, there are actually 10 shopping days left.)

But there could be 110 days for all it means to me. I'm without transport for the next week or so. Marcelo has finals, and will be at school all day studying (Doesn't that sound awfully TAMN of me?) So I really don't know what I'm going to do.

Usually I get my inspiration while I shop. I see what is out there, and then that makes me think of other things to get other people, and it continues. I can get my shopping done quite quickly, but it involves me actually leaving the house.

I don't like shopping online, unless I'm specifically looking for something. I don't go online just to browse. It's overwhelming, distracting and too time consuming. Meaning I will waste all day looking at crap I don't really need. And instead of buying the presents I really wanted originally, I end up buying a DVD of Moulin Rouge. So I've learned to KISS. I log on, shop, and get off. Keep it simple, stupid.

But that's beyond the point now. I'm in full panic mode. Marcelo is so difficult to buy for! He's picky, and even if I get him something that he needs (like pants) I end up getting the wrong dye shade. It's really very horrible. But gift cards are like saying "I really don't know you. I'm very non-creative and I value our relationship at $15". Which is acceptable for the mail man. But not for spouses.

So, this is it. What do you think I should buy for the following people?
My Husband
My daughter
Myself
An un-named female family member that might read this blog and who I have for Secret Santa.
My mom.

Thank you for your help.

Say WHAT?

I don't really watch commercials anymore. That's the blessing of a TiVo. However, Here are the most offensive ads that I have found recently:

Offensive #1) The Dolce & Gabbana commercial that does not just ALLUDE to a, um, threesome (between 1 girl and 2 guys) but shows quite a bit of TOUCHING, KISSING, RUBBING and general near humping. I get that D&G wants to be cool and awesome, but leave that kind of stuff for a Cosmo ad!! I don't need it right in the middle of SYTYCD.

I really don't think the commercial was in the middle of SYTYCD, but I can't remember where it was. Actually, maybe that's my problem. It was in the middle of a trashy show I watch. I need to stop watching E! Television. Moving on.

Offensive #2) The Schick "TrimStyle" Commercial. Have you seen these? They are not new. But the general idea of the commercial is that a woman walks by a little house plant, and magically the houseplant is "trimmed" in such a way to allude to the fact that this woman is sporting the same shape on her. . . um. . . .privates.

I think my jaw actually hit the ground when I saw this. I mean, it was SOOO brazen. It's like the woman walks by, the plant is WAIST HIGH, and then it's "trimmed". I don't want to be thinking about another woman trimming anything. Nor do I want to look at a woman and try to guess her private "shape". This is the actual ad:

Introducing Schick^® Quattro for Women^® TrimStyle^™

It's just the gadget a girl needs to stay perfectly groomed. Try new Quattro for Women® TrimStyle™, the first four-blade razor and waterproof bikini trimmer in one. Shave, trim and transform with just the flip of a handle.

Shave? Trim? TRANSFORM?!?! I'm not turning my nethers into Optimis Prime here. I don't want to transform, nor think about others' transformations either. Gross. Sorry, just. . . gross. Again, save it for Cosmo, Schick.

Offensive #3) Charmin. I KNOW this was during prime time. Like during SYTYCD. The ad says, Charmin has 2 plys to "Get the job done". I don't want to be thinking about big JOBS being laid down in the bathroom. I like to think that people go into the bathroom, and everything is fine. There is no JOB or WORK involved. That everything comes along swimmingly.

Let's just say that my family has enough SFTT's (originally BFTT's but Julie and I changed it this weekend) to make me know that not all times in the bathroom are good times. So I don't like to be reminded of that by some fat fluorescent pink bears swinging on trees. No more talk about bathroom "jobs". Thank you

What ads make you cringe? Please do tell.

Book Review: Born Round: The Secret History of a Full-Time Eater

Born Round: The Secret History of a Full-Time Eater by Frank Bruni


My rating: 5 of 5 stars
The author of this book is the current food critic for the NY Times. However, he has had a long and difficult relationship with food. I loved this book, because I feel like I too have had a long and difficult relationship with food.

I saw so much of myself in him, in his writing, and in his feelings towards self image. There's a part about how he meets someone and they ask him out, and then he puts off the date for weeks because he always wants to lose a "few pounds" or fit into those one pair of jeans. Even though his friends tell him, "um didn't they already see you? They know what you look like!" And he has all these excuses like "well, the lighting was good" and "he probably was distracted" or things like that. It's hilarious, but so true.

See, people with real body issues see things that others don't yet they are blind to other things. They see the worst in themselves, think that everyone is looking at their love handles, and thinks that every comment is a comment about their weight. They notice the skinny people in the room, and notice the chubby ones too, and they rank themselves to where they fall in line in the "fatter or skinner than" race.

However, they are also delusional about their real size. They don't want to know their weight, and they wear tight-ill fitting clothing so that they don't have to go to the store to try to fit on the size they THINK they wear, only to have to go up 2 sizes to find the size they really wear. Or if they Do go to those stores, they go to Ross or TJ Maxx (or DI) so they won't spend too much money on clothes that they will inevitably hate. And they know their real size now! Why would they want to buy clothes? Might as well wear that one pair of pants over and over again until they get holes in the crotch and have to be thrown out. . . not like I know that from experience or anything.

They also don't want to stand on a scale. There's a hilarious story about when the author reaches his highest weight right after he was on the 2000 campaign trail with Bush and he goes to the Dr. and says "I don't want to know what my weight is. Just don't tell me" (this is something he had done for years, since adolescence actually) And after he steps off, the Dr looks at him and says, "you weigh 268 pounds". Just like that. HA HA HA!! Hilarious. And just what he needed.

Anyway, I thought this book would be about his life as a food critic. And while it does eventually get there, it's much more of a personal memoir about his struggle with his weight. And I mean a real struggle. Not those 5-10 vanity pounds that most people want to lose, but the 25, 75 or 100 pounds that you fight against, the binging and purging cycles, the laxatives that you take, the crazy diets that rule your life, and the inevitable fall into that bucket of KFC chicken. This book is for you. It will make you laugh and smile and then make you want to go to the gym and get your exercise on.

Well, it did for me, anyway.