30 Before 30

I just found these two lists online. And seeing is how I am turning 30 this year, I thought they were insightful. Except for the alcohol parts. But anyway, here they are. (I found these lists at thefrisky.com in case you were wondering)

30 Skills Every Woman Should Have Before Turning 30:
1. Hard-boil an egg
2. Diplomatically tell Mom to butt out
3. Ace a job interview
4. Ask a man out
5. Send a thoughtful thank-you note
6. Listen to a friend in need
7. Ask for help
8. Effectively end an unhealthy relationship (romantic or platonic in nature)
9. Beautifully wrap a gift
10. Say “no” gracefully
11. Whip up a great dinner with the five items in her fridge
12. Forget pleasing him, by 30 a woman should be able to tell her man exactly how to please her
13. Sew a button
14. Mix a kick-ass cocktail
15. Take off her bra without removing her shirt
16. Apply lip gloss in the dark
17. Balance her checkbook
18. Create a budget
19. Find the best deal
20. Negotiate a salary and/or pay raise
21. Read a map
22. Hail a cab
23. Say something in French just for the hell of it
24. Apologize when she’s wrong
25. Dress for her body type
26. Change a flat (or know whom to call to come change it)
27. Spot a fake (handbag, diamond, potential friend …)
28. Feign interest
29. Know what to tip on a $25 dinner bill
30. Hold a baby (Hey, someone you know is bound to have one sooner or later.)


30 Things Every Woman Should Quit Doing By 30

1. Buying clothes from the junior section.
2. Forgetting her parents’ birthdays.
3. Making out with her BFFs at bars for attention.
4. Making out with her boyfriend at bars for attention.
5. Filling her bed with stuffed animals (really, even one is too many).
6. Carrying a torch for anyone she hasn’t seen in the last five years.
7. Rebelling against her parents for the sake of rebelling against her parents.
8. Declaring an entire gender “all jerks.”
9. Holding a grudge against anyone who wronged her in high school.
10. Skipping regular gyno exams.
11. Going to bed without washing and moisturizing her face.
12. Being “that person” who had a bit too much to drink at the office party.
13. Crushing on Justin Bieber.
14. Thinking she’s got it all figured out.
15. Calling her father “daddy.”
16. Engaging in sibling rivalry.
17. Trying to get by on her looks.
18. Living paycheck to paycheck.
19. Expecting a man/knight in shining armor to swoop in and save her.
20. Aimlessly jumping from job to job.
21. Using MySpace to pick up guys.
22. Expecting a man to do all the wooing.
23. Wishing she had someone else’s life.
24. Expecting everyone to drop everything because it’s her birthday ...
25. ... or because her “boyfriend” of two weeks dumped her.
26. Measuring her self-worth by a number on the scale.
27. Being cheap.
28. Quitting a job without having a new one lined up first (especially in this economy!).
29. Blaming her mother for all her issues.
30. Romanticizing her 20s.

So what do you think of the lists? What would you add? What would you take away? i.e. what do you think it's still ok to do after 30? Or what skill is stupid no matter what your age? For my part boiling an egg is almost useless to me because the smell of hard boiled eggs makes me want to gag.

And I know I have things I need to quit doing before I'm 30. Like watching too much Reality TV. And the going to bed without washing my face? I'm SOOOO that person.

So please give me your input. I'm dying to know! I have a little over 4 months to rid myself of it!

GO GO GO!!

Make checks payable to me

So when I get done working out, I hate how sweat drips down my head and down the back of my neck. It creeps me out. Neck issues, remember.

Side note: I have just come to realize I have another "body issue" part. That is the back of my upper arms. You know what I'm talking about. That sensitive skin on the back of your upper arms just close to your armpit. The part that wobbles when you wave? The "chicken wing" part? Ohh yeah, now you know. I DETEST anything touching me there. If a shirt hits me at just that spot I have to get rid of it. And the fastest way my child can drive me crazy is by coming up to me and trying to get me to stand up and follow her by touching that part of my body. There was a time when she would touch it about 20 times every day. I wasn't a very good mother because I had to walk myself away from her to get over the creepies when she would do that.

But back to my first neurosis: Things touching my neck. So the sweat drips down and it gives me the heebie jeebies. But I had a brilliant idea. Yesterday after my workout, I grabbed a long length of paper towel and then put it around my head "mammy" style. (Does the fact that I'm white and I described a head wrapping as "mammy style" make me a racist? I just wanted you all to have an accurate mental picture. But I swear I'm not a racist. You believe me, right?)

I put it under the back of my head and tied it up on top of my forehead at the hairline. It worked awesomely! It collected all the sweat, nothing dripped down my back and the heebie jeebies were gotten by none! Seriously, someone needs to start paying me for my ideas. Make checks payable to "Alicia, the genius".

Oh wait, now that I think about it I guess what I just described was a disposable headband. A headband made from cutting down trees. Instead of the poly-cotton things that athletes have been wearing for ages and made super popular in the 80's by a certain Senor MacEnroe.

























Hmmm. Maybe have to rethinking this genius idea. But you can still pay me if you would like. I would not turn down a few $ coming from anyone!

Sure your child is great, but can they. . .

I know all of you think you have the greatest child in the world. You think they are the smartest or the most clever. You think they are the cutest and that when they learn to sing songs they hear they are going to be the next Beethoven.

I mean, we all have bragging rights. My kid walked at 8 months. Your child probably could put together whole sentences with complex prepositional phrases at 13 months. (oh, on a side note my child now says "si" every once in a while. Actually, it's not really "si". She says "gee" or "dee". But it's something!!! The funny thing is that she can TOTALLY make the "sssss" sound. We ask her " what does a snake say" and she does a little lispy "sth sth sth" sound. Adorable. But she won't put it with the "eeee" sound. Strange. Back to topic) And some of you boast a child that taught themselves how to play the piano or read at age 2.

I say this is all well and fine. But I trump you ALL. Case closed, pack it in, this show is over.

My child can fart on command.

She does it to make me laugh. Whenever we hear her fart we say "gasiosa"! and she knows what it is. And so she makes herself fart just to hear us say gasiosa and laugh. She usually does it in the bath or just getting out of the bath. And one of these days she's going to strain herself too hard and poop in my arms. I just know it.

But until then I'm not going to stop her. Because seriously? A child that can fart on demand before her 2nd birthday? This kid has "going places" written all over her. Just you wait.

Snow in April

I don't mind the snow in April. Really I don't. I lets me stay inside and clean (for some reason I always get really "nesty" when the weather is crappy) And we all know how I feel about the rain.

But I think the biggest reason I don't mind the snow in April is because I know that it won't last. Even though it is quite late in the season to get snow, that still doesn't matter for what we have coming up. Trips to the lake, trips to Missouri with my mom and finally fitting into that bathing suit I bought last year. All good things to look forward to.

I think that this is the same reason I don't have horrible memories of high school. I know this seems like a stretch, but follow me here. I know lots of people out there have horrible thoughts and feelings about school. Many of you (like me) changed schools when you were in Jr High and High school and that didn't help you at all with the fitting in.

Just the other day my sister and I were talking about this and she's is thinking about pulling her kids out and home schooling them when they are middle school aged. She just doesn't want her kids to be exposed to all the stuff that they will most likely get in a normal Jr High. And while I agree with her on that aspect, one of her arguments is that school at that age is rough on kids' self esteem. And I just don't see that. I never had that.

I guess I was always someone that had a friend and a past time. I always had someone to eat lunch with, and I had sports after school to keep me busy. Not only that, I was kind of a nerd, so I enjoyed going to classes and I enjoyed learning with the rest of my nerdy friends. We all had the same classes together, and so we all got to be "class friends" at least. Maybe we didn't hang out outside the class, but if I saw them in the hallway they wouldn't spit on me or shove my head in the toilet at least.

However, I think the biggest reason I don't have bad memories of high school is because I never wanted to be something I wasn't (except thinner. I always wanted to be thinner!) and I never wanted to be in a different group. I never looked at the popular kids and said "oh, I want to be in their group" nor did I think that with the Emo kids, the skaters, the band groupies, the goths or the cowboys. I was just happy being where I was. I was happy talking to my friends, hanging out with them on the weekend and playing sports. I was just happy with what I had and with what I was.

And I knew it would all end soon. I knew that I would graduate and most likely go to BYU. If not there, I knew I would go away to SOME college. I knew that I would leave my high school behind and I would continue on with my life and not really have to worry about the clique I was in (or wasn't in) in high school. I knew that it would all end someday and when that happened it wouldn't matter if I was a goth or a cheerleader. It wouldn't matter what I did every weekend. All that I take with me from high school is a love of geometry, a love of Shakespeare and good memories of volleyball games and chips and ranch at my friend's house while watching silly Austin Powers movies. It was just. . .nothing!

There's nothing to get all worked up about, no reason to lament and sob about what was not. It's done. It was high school and it's over now. It was just a little snow in April.
(The view from my balcony today.)

Peanut Butter Cup

Ahh Leatherby's. You are so delicious and so evil at the same time. Why do you make your Peanut Butter sauce so delicious? And why do you make your fries so soft and crispy at the same time? Why is your awesome ice cream so addictive? I curse the day I met you, Leatherby's. Or should I say LEATHERFACE'S?

Well, Bahama reunions, however small, are always fun. It was only the BAA of the group, but we still had a good time.

I have no pictures of the event. I got some from Amy, but for some reason they won't upload on my computer. Boo, Blogspot, BOO ON YOU. I did bring my own camera, but my child put her sticky ice cream fingers on my lens and I couldn't clean it fast enough to get cute kid shots of my own. Oh well. Not like you care. I'll let you know they were cute. And I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but my child is the most exotic looking of the whole bunch. Her father must be a G.I.


Oh, I'll make it a tradition. . . .TWICE. Don't you worry your little Leatherface's head about that.

Just like Mom used to make

I have a new cooking secret. Want to know what it is? Well, I'll tell you: I just think about what my mother in law would make.

I know that my husband and his mother don't have the typical "mama's boy" past. Their past is slightly checkered and dark at parts. At one point when he was just 8 years old, he went to live with another family for 2 years because he just couldn't be in his house anymore. But my husband is a great example to me of love and forgiveness. He loves his mother unconditionally and can see the good in her. And she is a great woman. She really is very strong and wonderful. And even though she scares the crap out of me and annoys me when I'm down there, the truth is that I very intimidated by her. And I fear that I will never be as great or as strong as she is. And so maybe some of my fear gets switched to annoyance. Just maybe. . . hmmm. Something else to work out at therapy at a later date. When I start going to therapy, maybe?

However, one of those things that we both love about her? Well, she is an AMAZING cook.

When I was in Ecuador about a year ago, I was not happy. But now that I'm home I'm even less happy because I didn't take advantage of the time I had to learn from her and take notes on different foods. I was more concerned with feeding my baby and the liquid poo that always seemed to be pouring from her diaper. And so at mealtimes, I just sat down and had a bowl of something placed in front of me. (Just so you know, everyone got a bowl placed in front of them. It would've been more strange if I were in the kitchen helping. Her kitchen is HER domain. None shall pass)

But I feel really inferior when it comes to cooking for Marcelo. But ONLY for Marcelo. Like if I had an American husband he would most likely enjoy casseroles and other similar American fare. Mashed potatoes and green salad. But he just doesn't like that. And while he has been trained VERY well to always eat what I make, I can tell that he doesn't like certain things. And so I never make them again. Also, I like to know when Marcelo is coming home because most of my meals are best served fresh from the oven. So if I miss the time, either he has to wait for dinner, or get it cold and not as good. So little by little my bank of recipes has been whittled down to almost nothing.

And then inspiration struck. It happened while Marcelo and I were watching an episode of "No Reservations" on the Travel Channel. Anthony Bourdain was in, (of course) ECUADOR!!! We really enjoyed watching him eating chifles and intestine and seafood and aji. (UMMMM AJI!!! I seriously just salivated typing that. How I miss you, aji) Then Tony said something that struck me he said, "oh, I love anything that's been simmering in a pot all day. Those are the best kinds of meals."

And I realized, that's what Ecuadorian cooking is! It's a lot of "one pot" style soups and sauces. Things that you can cook for 4o minutes or 1 1/2 hours depending on when people arrive home. You don't have to worry about when they will come home exactly, because it will be simmering away when they get there. It just gets better the longer it sits in the pot! You can add the tough cuts of meat with the bone still in there, and it all just dissolves beautifully. (I tried this with a big cross cut of cow leg and Marcelo was in heaven when the marrow was still in the bone and he got to suck it out. Seriously, he was so happy) It's stress free cooking, and I was stressing out about it!! This needed to change.

So now I just try to remember all the meals my mother served us.This is how my thought process works: "Ok, dinner ready around 7:30. What would be good in a pot. Chicken? Yes. What else? Carrots? Sure! Peas? Ok, at the end. . .What would my mother in law put in there? A potato, of course. Maybe a yucca if I have one. . .hmmm. . ." And so it goes.

Meal times around here have gotten much MUCH better and much less stressful. And while I will never EVER compare with the cooking skills of my mother in law, I have stopped worrying about it. We both have our talents and there is no comparison on either end. I mean, I'd like to see her whip up cinnamon rolls (WITH the cream cheese frosting included, of course) in less than an hour like I can.

Game. set and MATCH.

. . . Can You?

So after nearly 3 months of speech therapy I can tell you that she's had almost no difference in her speech. Oh, I know what you think when you look at those videos. And that's pretty much how it goes around here. Babbling non-stop her nonsensical words and wildly gesticulating. And yet, no words.

I mean, we are talking basic things like "yes" and "milk". I think I read somewhere that by 2 years your kid should speak like 100 words. I have heard her say 2. They are "no" and "esta". But she's great at recognizing words. She knows around 20 animals and can point to them. She knows colors and shapes. And she knows hundreds of commands. I would say that when it comes to recognizing and responding, she can recognize over 200 words and phrases. But what good does that do me when she's hungry and she won't tell me but instead whines non stop? I mean, I can ask her if she's hungry, and she makes a "uh huh" sound (again, she doesn't say "SI" but just makes a sound) but that's not what we are going for! We want words here!!

Sunday I asked her nursery teachers about her language. We are very blessed that one of her nursery teachers got back from a mission to Argentina less than a year ago and loves speaking Spanish to her. And so I asked him if they notice that she speaks when not around me. They said that she just babbles and babbles but nothing recognizable comes out. They said that last week she went and sat down next to Elissa (a little girl about 1 year older than her) and just blabbed and blabbed for minutes. After she left, the teachers asked Elissa what Bibi said to her. She shrugged her shoulders and said, "I don't know". Nice

But the real kicker is what happened a few weeks ago at the park. A little boy was playing with her and she was running around and just generally not talking. And he said to her "I can talk. . . . Can you?" OHHHH!!! BUURRRNNN!!!!

No, junior. The answer is no. She cannot talk. But if you want someone to show you how to destroy the house while your mom is in the shower, she's your girl