The Great Escape

Lynn might've found another job. She might have to take a small pay cut, but it will be doing something related to her masters degree. I will miss her horribly, but I am SOOO jealous she's getting out.

Here is the other thing. She might leave this weekend and just not come back. I mean, the POLITE thing is to give 2 weeks notice. But who are we kidding? No one in that office is ever polite to us. And you KNOW that if Jean fired her, she wouldn't give her two weeks notice so she could go find another job.

And I don't think that it would matter if she gave that notice or not. It's probably better she doesn't. Because if she did, they would just treat her horribly for those two weeks, and then talk total crap about her when she leaves. This way we can avoid the awkwardness and they can go right to talking that crap

Did I mention Jean, Matt and DAn are all leaving this weekend to go to a conference in San Diego? If she left and sent them an email saying that she's not returning, they would DIE. And I would prefer it because I wouldn't have to deal with them for a week.

If she makes the announcement on Friday, I'll need to work on my "shocked" face. Here are some of my practice faces:

You know what? Nevermind. I just looked at the photos I took, and I CANNOT show those to anyone. I don't know why I even go outside of the house looking the way I do. If you were to see those pictures, you would say, "WHO ATE ALICIA?!?!" I can't let you see those pictures. Please forgive me. I'm very fat.

But anyway, I'm totally going to have to play it dumb. I think i'll actually play it upset. Like "HOW COULD SHE DO THAT?!?! HOLY CRAP!!! I'M GOING TO BE SO BUSY!! WHY WOULDN'T SHE TELL ME!?!!" I think if I play it like I've been betrayed, Jean will believe me more.

Again, I'll miss Lynn, but I know we'll stay in touch. How else will she find out about all the crap that everyone is saying about her?

Anyway, wanna hear a funny story? (If you don't stop reading right now). Well, everyday I lock up Raya in the morning when I go to work and then after I come home for lunch. After lunch I lock her up for the afternoon. Before you tell me how horrible I am, please know that she's totally used to it. On Saturdays, she just wants to sleep all morning because that's what she's used to.

Well, today, I did everything as normal, but then when I came home this is what I found:


That's right. Somehow I forgot to lock her cage, or she jimmy-rigged it open and she a a HEYDAY with our trashcan. Can you see her in the background hiding in her cage? I didn't even have to yell at her. She was there before I came in, just WAITING for the wrath. Come see what I mean:




















I just had to LAUGH when I saw this. I mean, I don't blame her. It would be like getting mad at a shark for being attracted to blood. She knows that she's no supposed to, but she can't stop herself. She was just sitting her in cage awaiting my return. Did I mention my dog is hilarious and I love her?

Ultrasound Pictures

Remember like a week ago I told you I would provide ultrasound pictures and the story on how everyone thinks I'm going to have a boy. Yeah, I was a liar, but it's not entirely my fault! I was going to go scan them in at work, but when I tried it, the pictures were really grainy. And everyone who's ever seen an ultrasound picture knows they are grainy ALREADY without being scanned.

So my next idea was to take a picture of them and then upload the pictures. But when I tried to take a picture with our work camera, the pictures were all blurry because they were so close. So I didn't know what to do. Do I go to Kinko's and pay to scan them in? But what if after all that money, they still look like crap? ARGH!!

So just now I tested MY own digital camera. SUCCESS!!! I don't know why my boss's camera is so much crappier than mine, but I am thankful that I have a rocking camera. So here are the pictures of our little gusano de seda.















These are pictures of the head and face. I think it's pretty obvious where the nose mouth and chin are. That thing right by the chin is its little fist. It kept swinging its little fist up by its face and making it hard to get a good picture. But anyway, you can see that it has nice FULL lips. Maybe it's just puckering up for the photo. You know, working the camera, making sure we get a nice profile shot. Great. I'm giving birth to Derek Zoolander.

Now for the more controversial pictures:
















On the left, you will see a nice blurry picture that I've been told is a leg. A what? A leg? Um, ok. Maybe I can see the femur ball (of the ball and socket joint) attached to a long white something that could be the femur shaft. But that means that we are looking at the side of the body, and the rest of the baby is up in that black and white mess at that top of the picture. So, I think that was a real crap one.

Now on the right we have a very clear arm. See it right at the top of the white blobs? You can see the bend in the arm and the bright white bone running through the middle of it. Below you can see a bigger picture of this ultrasound with the arm being pointed at in black.

In that same picture below, I have also put a nice white circle around the "controversial" part of the ultrasound. Here is it for you to look at.

So when Alan, Rhonda, Evan, Ryan and Marcia all saw this picture, they were all SWEARING to me that it's a boy. They were saying that those little white doo-dads I've circled are a boy's parts.

Now, I would LOVE to believe you, but please tell me what is that thing in the middle of the "torso" area? It looks like my kid has a whole in their body. If the picture is so clear, and it's so clear that I'm having a boy, why can't you pick out ALL the baby's body parts on this picture? I mean, that could be a foot tucked up under its butt. Who knows?

Apparently all my cousins know. And what they know is that I'm having a boy. I would like Lisa to look at this ultra sound. She's the expert. (But don't tell me, Lisa, because I really do want to be surprised. ) And I'm getting weirded out because I keep having dreams that it's a girl. So I don't want to start thinking one thing only to have it turn out the other way, and then I will run the risk of being disappointed. And that would be the WORST.

So now you all have ultrasound pictures of my little "gusano de seda" who I still haven't felt. Stubborn little baby. It's DEFINITELY Marcelo's child with a disposition like that. Man, I am so looking forward to meeting this little gusano. We'll see if it's what I think in another 4 and a half months.

The Classic Conundrum

Just like I predicted earlier today, Marcelo left at 11 am, returned at 2:30 and has been sleeping since. It is currently 8:00 and I've done NOTHING all day but TiVo homework, and bathe. That's right my friends. I took a shower AND washed my hair. Now, you might no think this is a great accomplishment, but let me tell you that I haven't washed my hair since Wednesday.

I should mention that I didn't get around to bathing until about 1 pm.

Now, please note that I didn't say that I've gotten dressed today. That's because I haven't. I'm still in my underwear that I put on after my shower. Many people think that it's weird that Marcelo and I prefer to be in our underwear while at home. I don't know why that is. I mean, I lived with roommates before I got married and he lived at home. It was not acceptable to walk around in just your chones at either of those places. But we love being in just underwear. In our defense, our underwear does cover up over 3/4 of our bodies.

So now, here is the dilemma: I am starving and we have no food here. I know, because I've gotten up to look in the fridge no less than 3 times in the last 2 hours. So what do I do? Do I force myself to get dressed and go get some tots and a shake from Sonic? (For that is what I really want). Here are some other options I thought about:

* Put on my robe and go through the drive through. This will allow me to buy the food, but not actually get dressed.

* Put on a shirt ONLY and then put something on my lap so the people at Sonic can't see that I'm not wearing any pants. Again, this allows me to get food without getting dressed.

(Please note that these ideas work because we have a garage that allows me to get in my car without anyone seeing that I'm not wearing pants or that I'm just wearing a robe. Don't you all wish you had a garage so you could drive to fast food joints in different nivels of undress?)

* Ask Marcelo to get me the food. But he would never approve of my choice of dinner. So that idea is out.

* Decide that maybe tots and ice cream are not the best food choices and eat an apple that I've just now miraculously found on my fourth trip to the fridge. Let's be honest. This one will never happen. Let's just move it along to the next choice which is:

* Put on a shirt, pants AND shoes and go get crap food like a civilized person and not like a piece of white trash who doesn't like to wear clothes.

I would like to point out that NONE of the previous options I just discussed involved me putting on a bra. That is because the idea never entered my mind. There will be no bra wearing of ANY sort today.

So, I'm about to pass out from lack of food. Did I mention the last time I ate was at 9:30 this morning? Yeah, it's been almost 12 hours. I've got to go get some food. Maybe i'll get more than tots. We'll see. There still is always Del Taco. But I do want ice cream. THE CONUNDRUM.

You know what I really want? Some fries and Traci's Peanut Butter Cup from Leatherfaces. There is no better combo. Am I right, Bahamas?

MARCELO UPDATE: Since starting this blog, he woke up, and is now watching cage fighting on TV. I don't mind cage fighting because we have TiVo and we fast forward through all the boring fight parts till just the knockouts at the end. And let's be honest: Those are the best parts. Why do you think that Sportscenter only show highlights?

But now we have a problem: How to sneak out of the house and get my hands on some of that contraband food now that Marcelo is awake? Another conundrum. (Am I using that word correctly?)

And finally, are you all as excited as I am about the complete Jane Austin movie series that's being shown on PBS? They are showing ALL her 6 books that have been made into movies, and they even made 4 new movies for this series. SOOOO LOOKING FORWARD TO IT!!! Put it on your TiVo's people. You do NOT want to miss out.

All Quiet on the Southern Front

I haven't felt the baby yet. This upsets me. It doesn't really worry me because every time I go into the doctor's office I get to hear the heart beat. And the ultrasound last week. And I SAW it move, so I know it's alive and kicking. But I can't feel it.

I've been told that I have to be quiet and still to be able to feel it. So I lie there in the morning and at night and just wait. Nothing. It's like my baby is making sure NOT to kick me when I can feel it, just to piss me off. And I don't like that my baby is trying to piss me off even before it's born.

I'm just saying that I'm trying to be a good mom and it's like my offspring is making a preemptive strike to let me know that IT'S the boss. I know it will be the boss, but I'd like to delude myself into thinking that for at least 5 more months that I do have some say in my life.

Does it know what I'm going through for it? I keep getting fatter, and it's getting harder and harder to hide my belly from my co-workers and my boss. I'm going into sticker shock for how much this pregnancy is going to cost, and then there is the stress about trying to sell our house in the VERY month that I quit my job and have a baby. I'm just a little upset that my baby knows all of this (I've told it everything so it's up to date on what's going on) and still chooses to be stubborn. I do all of this for it, but it doesn't let me feel any benefits of the pregnancy. It's very hurtful. You know, in my heart.

On a different note, Marcelo didn't sleep at ALL last night. He cleaned the baby's room, installed a light fixture, decided that he didn't like the light fixture, un-installed it and then watched some TV. Didn't get a moments sleep. I don't know what to do to help him. He just worries and then he can't sleep.

But he's gone to help a friend move a dryer up two flights of stairs and then he's going to come home and crash. I know he will. So what does that leave the wife to do? Anyone? Anyone? I am bored already, and I won't be doing anything with Marcelo any time soon so I don't know what to do with my day. I've already taken then little girl for a walk, and she's now taking a nap. She's used to sleeping all day while I'm at work, so she's no fun. What to do? What to do?

Suggestions?

I thank you for your time.

(I think I might go get some Del Taco. Reagan talks about it all the time. I just don't know if I want to be burping up Taco Seasoning for the rest of the night. Why do they make that stuff so strong? It's like freaking paint thinner: if you leave a spoonful of it on your counter, it will corrode away a hole)

I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so. . .So . . . SCARED

I love Marcelo. He is like the freaking most awesome person in the whole wide world. He works so hard, and is so loving. He loves me, he loves the little girl, and he loves our little baby. He is SOOO sure that we are having a girl, so he's been thinking about girl names all the time.

The other day Marcelo told me to go look at this Word document he had created. It had some names he had been thinking about, and those were names that he really liked. So I open up the document, and this is what I find. (The spelling is all original)

Allison
Elena
Anabel
Kimberlly
Kelly
Sabrina

DISCLAIMER!! Now, I don't want to offend anyone with the rest of my blog. So if you have any special attachments to any of these names, just stop reading now. If your name is one that I have listed above, or if your most beloved child is named one of the names above, just stop now. Harsh comments are to follow. DISCLAIMER FINISHED

WHAT THE HECK IS HE THINKING?!?!? Does he plan on naming our child something circa mid-80's? I mean Kimberlly? With TWO ll's? Is the second L supposed to make the name less lame? LESS EFFECTIVE!! It doesn't work and is still not a cool name. I was just so thrown back that he wants to name our kid some generic name that everyone has.

Reagan thinks it's odd that he wants to name our kid some American boring name, and I want to name our kid some Latino name. Marcelo tells me that the Latino names I've picked out are not cool. So it makes sense that he grew up hearing those Latino names and I grew up hearing those American names, so we don't want our kid to have the names with which we have had bad associations.

He said he really likes Sabrina. But who can ever name their kid that and not be teased for naming your kid after a teenage witch? The only one I actually don't hate is Anabel. But I told Marcelo that the poor girl will have people misspelling her name for her whole life. Now that he's lived in the USA, he knows EXACTLY what that's like. (MARCELO HAS ONE "L" PEOPLE!! JUST ONE!!!)

Allison is just a boring name, and you couldn't PAY me to name my kid that. And Elena is the name of a fat Mexican kid that eats paste. And it usually follows the name "Maria". Maria Elena, yeah, that's TOTALLY the fat Mexican kid that eats the paste. Now, I don't have a problem with fat people or Mexicans. I myself am currently one of those two. But I don't want my kid to be a chubby paste eater. So Elena is out.

Now, Kelly is another generic name. I would put it up there with Emily, or Jessica or Rebecca. Just like BLAH. But the BEST thing happened last night. After reading scriptures and turning off the lights, Marcelo decided it wast time to talk to the baby. He rubbed my (ample) belly and said, "Oh Kelly, how are you doing tonight?"

That made me thinking about the names I had seen and we started talking about the names. He commented on how he thinks those names sound really cool, and how they would be good names. I said he was crazy, and I asked him where he got those names. He said, "You know where I got that name Kelly? I got it from that show, 'Zach Morris'."

Did I mention that I love my husband. Do you know how freaking awesome it is that, #1 my husband watched Saved by the Bell growing up JUST LIKE ME. #2 He does not call the show "Saved by the Bell" but instead calls the SHOW "Zach Morris." (This is actually true for all Ecuadorians. They also call The Simpsons "Los Sinsoms") and finally #3 He thought that Kelly Kapowski was so cute, that she deserved to have our first born named after her.

I could NOT believe it!! I was in heaven just sitting there enjoying that moment of realization. I actually sat up and kissed Marcelo for that comment. And if any of you have ever been 5 months pregnant and FAT, you will know what a challenge that is. I would just like to say that my my husband is freaking AWESOME and I challenge any of you to have a baby naming story where the punchline is: "I think we should name our child after Kelly Kapowski"

It doesn't change my mind, and actually I think it makes a stronger case for why NO ONE should EVER name their kid Kelly. But it's nice to know why he wanted it. Now I will forever feel uncomfortable when I hang out with Tiffany Amber Thiessen. (And yes, I just Googled her name so that I would spell it correctly)

Bottom line: Don't get addicted to caffeine pills the night before your big music break with your two best friends and don't name your kid Kelly. I LOVE YOU MARCELO!!

Drop Dead Gorgeous

I love the movie "Drop Dead Gorgeous." It is the most rocking movie ever. I am currently watching it on TV right now and there is no greater movie. If you haven't seen it, you need to go out right now and watch it. Please be aware that some parts are just "too good to be true: can't take my eyes off of you."

You will thrill at that terrific Mount Rose, Minnesota accents, you will be proud to be an American, and from then on, you will always vow to move your car if a cripple comes.

Don't be alarmed when you find out that Kristen Dunst is in the movie. You forget that she's not such a great actress and get swept away by dog calls, sign language dancing and skirts with over 8,000 crystals made my one of my father's many Meh-hee-can workers.

Mount Rose American Teen Princess Kicks butt!! And in closing, I would just like to say that Atomic power makes me, Molly Howard, proud to be an Asian American.

Telling Secrets in Utah

I decided to tell my family about the pregnancy. I don't know what finally pushed me over the edge, but I think it was the guilt. I wasn't sure how certain members of my family would take the news, but I was sure that some others would be very upset if went the whole pregnancy never told them.

So Thursday, I called Tina and told her. I asked her if she thought that I should tell everyone else. She of course said I should. I explained to her a little more about how nervous I was, and what if they start asking questions and make me regret telling them? She said, "Well, do the questions actually bother you, or is it more who is saying them? Like if I said the same thing, would you feel the same way?" She had a good point there. I might just be a little sensitive because those questions come from my mom.

She said, "You have to tell her. TONIGHT. And with all the crap that is happening with Jacob, this might really cheer her up!" So I waited for Marcelo to come home and I called her that night. She started by updating me with the latest "Jacob Drama." Point Simple: She feels like she's become a prisoner in her own house. But that story should be saved for a later time.

Anyway, so I could hear that people were arriving at the house and she needed to be with them, so she said, "is there anything else?" and i said, "Yeah. I'm sorta, kinda, a little bit pregnant." There was a long intake of breath and she was like "REALLY? OOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!!!" And so I knew that I had made the right decision. And then I had to drop the bomb of how far along I am. I said, "And I'm kind of far along. I'm 20 weeks already." She thought I was kidding. Her actual words were "Are you kidding?"

She was VERY excited about me being pregnant. She told me that she kind of felt the same way when she kept getting pregnant over and over again. She said that she worried what her siblings or other might say, but that her mother, was always super supportive. She also made a point of telling me her schedule for that month, so I was aware that she could be here at ANY TIME to help with the delivery/post delivery hijinx. (and I fully plan on hijinx, people) So that was nice to know that my mother has been in my same position many times.

She said, "did you know when I was out there in September?" And I tried to remember when she was here, and I said, "No, I didn't find out till the end of September" and she said, "but you knew when we were out there for Thanksgiving, right?" and I said, "Yeah, I knew then" and she said, "You rascal!!" But secretly I think that she was happy I told her so late. I mean, basically the first three months are all whining about how sick you are, right? Who wouldn't mind missing that?

I tried to call Sarah that night, but she couldn't be reached. I finally talked to her and told her the news and she said, "YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" That was more that I was expecting. I don't know, but maybe my family was starting to worry if I was reproductively challenged? Well, I'm not. It was also very nice to hear that she supported me too. I was worried about that one as well.

And then last night there was a get together at Nate's house. Alan and Rhonda were bringing food to make homemade Cafe Rio salads. I knew that I would probably be telling everyone there, but I didn't know how I should make the announcement. Should I stand up on a table and ting a glass like I was offering a toast or something? Nate's in-laws told me that I should give the announcement in Spanish and then let the other ones figure it out on their own.

But an opportunity presented itself and so I didn't have to think about it. Alan welcomed everyone to the house, and he said, "we'll have the prayer and then this is the order: Pregnant women get to eat first." And he turns around to Holly Thompson (who is 24 weeks pregnant) and he says "So that means Holly goes first. Unless there are other pregnant women here." And just like that, I raised my hand.

The room didn't have to go silent, because it already was. But everyone's eyes just went really big and Alan said, "I didn't know! I didn't get the announcement." And I said, "I just made it!" And then everyone was excited and then we ate food. It was good food.

So now everyone knows why i passed out on new years eve at 10 pm and I didn't mind sleeping through the festivities. And why I stopped stripping wall paper that one day: I went into the bathroom and read the bottle on the wallpaper stripper that said, "This product has a chemical known to the state of California to cause cancer and birth defects." I think mom just thought I was SUPER lazy because everyone else was upstairs and I was downstairs and she was like "come finish the walls with us" and I was like "Ummm, no. I'm done." That's why I was done.

About that blog that a posted a while ago about the Thanksgiving shenanigans and my family not knowing about the pregnancy: I have to say that my family really surprised me and made me feel really awful for thinking that they wouldn't be supportive. I guess I underestimated the support they would give. And I feel badly about that. So I apologize for that. Sorry.

Apparently people think we are crazy because we don't want to know what we are having. Like last night I pulled out my ultra sound photos, and there were many comments about how everyone could DEFINITELY tell what I'm having. I disagree but i'll leave that story for tomorrow after I scan them in so you can see what I'm talking about.

But the comments are coming across continents. Marcelo talked to his family on Friday and his mom asked if my belly was growing out in front or to the sides. Well, truthfully, I'm just plain BIG right now. And I have some pretty substantial love handles, so Marcelo answered the best he could and said, "Mostly to the sides" so his mom said, "Then it's definitely a girl." I love that Latino wisdom. (AKA superstition)

Ok, That's enough for today. Ultra sound pictures tomorrow!!