If I hear the following statement one more time, I'm going to lose it.
Someone in R.S. raises their hand and says:
"I always thought I would go on a mission. I planned for it and told everyone that I would. But then I got married. And I had to tell myself that I would just be serving a different kind of mission. I mean, it wasn't what I wanted. I always wanted to go on a mission! But I guess other things were in the cards for me. . . ."
The next person I hear say that, gets me, in their face screaming LIAR!!! and then they get slapped. Maybe verbally slapped, or maybe physically. I can't decided which yet. But there will be slappage.
No, no, no no no no NONONONONONO.
If you really REALLY wanted to go on a mission then YOU WOULD'VE GONE ON A MISSION. My mission (and every other mission in the world for that matter) was full of girls who had other things distracting them. They had boyfriends, debts, schooling, family, money issues and physical issues. And you know what? They didn't let that pull them away from a mission, because THEY REALLY WANTED TO GO.
I want you to just accept the fact that you weren't that into it. That you thought it would be something "cool" to do if you had nothing better to do, if no potential marriage prospect was on the horizon. As long as things all fit into a nice little package for your convenience. But once things didn't go as you expected, when you met someone when you were TWENTY, you just were KICKING yourself because "BOOOO HOOOO!! Now I can't go on a mission. He's the ONE!! I'm not supposed to go on a mission if I have the possibility of getting married! That's what everyone says! And everyone knows heaven cries a little when there is another 23 year old female RM in the world"
Slap, slap, slappity, slappage.
Other comments that will get you a slap from me:
-"I really wanted to get my degree, but we thought it was better that HE finish and not me. I'm just at home with the kids. What do I need a diploma for?"
-"I never thought that we would get pregnant so fast! I mean, we didn't really use birth control, but so-and-so didn't either and it took them MONTHS to get pregnant. So we didn't really take precautions. But I'm SO SURPRISED we got pregnant!"
-"I deserve ________." No, you don't deserve it, whatever it is. You deserve things when you EARN them. Like working for them, paying for them. You know, EARNING THINGS. Just being alive and being annoying doesn't constitute earning.
There are lots of other things that will get you slapped in my mind. And if you aren't careful, maybe even slapped in real life.
Because seriously? PEOPLE WHO REALLY WANT TO GO ON MISSIONS DON'T LET ANYTHING STOP THEM. THEY JUST GOOOOOOOOOO!
I'm done now. I need to go take a nap and sleep off the rage.
P.S. My best guy friend in high school used to call me "Slappy". So the title of this makes me laugh as I read it.
P.P.S. I have a whole different rant about how RM girls know that not every male RM is created equal. And that we can see through a line of B.S. and know that just because you were a zone leader (OR AP!!) doesn't mean you didn't try to scam on all the members in your areas. You disgust me, and I have no respect for you. But go ahead and tell everyone that you were an AP. But I have a picture of you DANCING. And I sure don't think that's MO TAB playing while you do the Salsa and Merengue.
Oh, I guess I got that additional rant out of my system right then. I guess I don't have to come back and make a whole other post about it. Good for me!
Slappy, OUT!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Slappy
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3 comments:
True story (although I must admit somewhat embarrassing due to my young age at the time): When I was 17 I met a guy and we fell in love. Seriously. HE was everything my Young Women heart knew a good LDS future husband should be. He treated me so well that I floated on a cloud to high school each day. He was older and he went on a mission and we had plans that I would "wait" for him and then get we'd married. Oh, yes--we had discussed marriage and I was only 17. I was convinced I would marry him...except for this nagging thought in my head that I really, REALLY wanted to go on a mission. How could this be the right guy if us getting married was going to prevent that? Luckily, he met someone on his mission and three weeks after he got home he knew he wanted to marry her. I was just find with that because I WANTED TO GO ON A MISSION! While on my mission, I got a letter from him--he and his wife had FOUR kids in FOUR years and that's when I knew all over again that we had made the right choice in not getting married. I would have been a basket case!!! Yup. True story.
Your post made me laugh. HARD! Thanks!
I love this post. I feel the EXACT same way, and I didn't even serve a mission. I HATE when people say that, it's like they are trying to make themselves feel better about not serving a mission by belittling those that did.
I also especially hate the comments about women and education. My mom and I were just talking about this the other day due to a certain girl in her ward. Here is where you are going to realize what a mean person I am, and where I will again admit that I judge certain people by their blogs. This girl always makes snide little digs about the fact that I got my masters. First, let me quote from her description of herself on her blog, "I never thought I'd be this far along in what I view is the 'perfect life'. But after coming home from the Y and meeting my perfect man and having three beautiful amazing kids, I'm finding out that life is more beautiful than I ever imagined." OK, first of all, I hate when people call it the Y. I just do. Second of all, she went to BYU for a semester then came home, met the guy over Christmas, didn't go back to school, and got married at the age of 19. Now, I'll let that one slide. However, she now always makes comments about how she chose a "higher calling" than education because she got married and didn't go back to school, but had kids instead. And then she proceeds to judge anyone who has any type of degree because they didn't do the same. Now, also keep in mind that her husband already had a degree and a good job when they got married, so it's not like she was staying home so he could get his education. She basically just went to BYU to get married, and then when she did she dropped out. Really, she will fully admit that that is why she went out there. She thinks my cousin that is getting her phd is on the straight shot to Hell. It drives me crazy. She was also really judgy when we first moved back here about the fact that I hadn't had a kid yet. I just let her keep talking and give me her speech about it until someone whispered to her that I had a miscarriage right before we moved and she looked like an idiot. If you weren't a better person than me and hadn't given up blog judging, I would send you her blog link so that we could make fun of her together.
OK, that was my rant because I don't have a blog. Anyone who reads this can now feel free to judge me for being a horrible, mean, gossipy, judgmental person. I know I deserve it. But your post seriously made me feel better. Thanks, Slappy.
Okay, YOU ARE GENIUS. You say stuff I wish I could say. And all I can say is SNAAAAAAP!!!
My favorite is when girls SAY they served a mission and then you find out they went to dance at some LDS pageant. NOT THE SAME, HONEY. Not until you've been spat on, verbally abused, gotten lice (or other noxious disease), and had a companion go psycho on you, CAN YOU EARN THE TITLE OF RM. It's a hard one to earn.
I don't think all girls should go on missions. (There were a few on my mission who shouldn't have been there), but please spare us with the theatrics. Cowboy up and say it. "I could have gone, but I wanted to pick out a wedding dress more than I wanted to go to the MTC."
Just say it! I'd respect you a lot more.
Again, you are genius.
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