Summer Pal Trips-JACKITY LANTERN!!

Just so you know, that last blog, the one about Evi's blessing, it was blog #100 for me. I was thinking about making a bigger deal about it, but I decided not to. I just wanted you all to know that. Like you care, right? Right.

So I bet lots of you were wondering where I was last week. I know, it's SOOOOO hard for you all to go without my brilliant insights and embarrassing confessions. But I'm back, and ready for more confessions.

Anyway, I was gone last week becuase I went on a family vacation to Pal. My mom gave us all an amazing time!! She rented a house boat on Lake Powell for 4 days and all of our family was there. Well most all of the family. Marcelo wasn't there, as you already know. It was so much fun with everyone. Let me give you the rundown on who was there: My mom, my brother and his wife and their 5 kids, my sister, her husband and their 3 kids. Myself & Evi, My brother Nate (his wife is in Mexico for her brother's mission homecoming) Julie, Jacob and his girlfriend Clarin. Also there was Tina's (Jeff's wife) brother Dusty, his wife and their little girl. Count it up, that's 22 people.

The houseboat only was supposed to sleep 12! But we made it work. We pulled out mattresses and took them to the roof of the houseboat and we had air mattresses to put out on the floor. Also there was this awesome bench seat for eating and we pulled it out and made it a bed and jammed tons of kids on that. I was blessed enough to get my own room. I thought I would need it becuase I would have a nighttime screaming baby. Not so!! My baby was actually the most behaved of all the kids!! And that trip actually got her jump started into sleeping through the nights again. Granted it was in my bed with me, but she was sleeping.

Anyway, Sarah and I were in charge of the food. We did forget a few things like enough enchilada sauce and I think we should've had more water. And there was one other thing we forgot. I can't remember what it was. But we had the perfect amount of food. Not too much, and not too little. The funny thing is that Jules and my mom said that they felt like they did nothing but eat junk food the whole time there. However, Sarah and I BOTH said that we felt like we didn't buy any junk food!! I mean I bought a tub of licorice and a box of fruit snacks, and that's it!! Usually that will only last a day at our normal family reunions. But it was good that we didn't have it, otherwise I might've been tempted to eat it.

But we had just enough food. And I don't know if you've ever planned food for 22 people for 4 days, but it's not easy. Add that to the fact that we were NOT able to "run down" to anywhere and grab something if we forgot it. So if we forgot, we were S.O.L. and had to do without. My mom was running on HIGH stress at this time and that's why she asked Sarah and I to take care of the food. It wasn't fun! But I can understand why she asked us to do it. And now I feel prepared for next time.

The only people missing was Marcelo and Denisse, and my dad. But he was there in spirit. By spirit I mean his evil spirit lurking around. Pissing everyone off before they went on the trip. And there was plenty of dad talk while we were there. This is what the final result of that talk was: It is confirmed that my dad doesn't care about his kids or his grandkids. He didn't want to see Sarah's kids, and he didn't come to my baby's blessing. Also, my dad is crazy. I can't tell you all the ways he is crazy, but believe me his mind doesn't work like a normal person's. I mean what rationally thinking person would get a letter from his daughter inviting him to his grandchild's blessing and he calls back her HUSBAND to decline. Uh, I think the letter came from me, crazy. Oh, and he still hasn't seen Evi. Nor has he expressed any interest to see her. Again, if that's not craziness, I don't know what is.

Anyway, Pal was fantastic. Jeff brought his boat, we had our jet skis, and there was of course the houseboat. Things were a little hot and humid (we were surrounded by water, remember?) and some nights were HORRIBLE to sleep through the mugginess. And it seemed to never get any cooler. But like I said, I got my own room and the second night we found a fan in my room and we turned it on. AAAAHHHH cool air. And my baby had no problem sleeping through the night like I said before. And she also loved being in the water!! I'm not kidding!! She loved it!! I took her in 3 different times, and each time she loved it more.

Well, enough Pal talk. Let's see some pictures, shall we?

This is the little girl in the water.













Doesn't she just look so happy there? I'm actually giving her a bath in this picture cause she needed it. She got a little bit of heat rash from, well, the heat!! And the bath cooled her right off.

And here is a picture of all of us on the back of the house boat. This was a great time. We were all running around because we had to drive Sarah and her family into the dock, so we only got to take one picture on my camera. But I think it's a pretty good one, no?





























And here are some pictures of where we camped and the rock formations around where we were. It was very beautiful. (That's my niece Rayce in the photo. That bathing suit had to be peeled off her at the end of the week)

And finally, here is the little girl in her swimming suit.















Isn't she adorable? I Love LOVE the little rash guard and shorts combo. It's the only modest bathing suit I could find in the whole store, I swear. Every other suit was a bikini!! For BABIES!! They are marketing bikini's for 18 month year olds! Why stop there? Why not just give them a tramp stamp and bottle of vodka at birth and let the "Girls Gone Wild" producers at her? Teach her as young as possible that her body is a sexual tool and she must use it to get whatever she wants. As as swim teacher for years, I would see these little girls in bikinis and wonder where their parents were that would let them wear such things. It's unconscionable and uncalled for. And thus concludes my chastity rant for the day.

If you are wondering, I plan on only letting my girls wear swim team/Speedo type suits once they get big enough to fit in them. (I can't find any this small right now). Or I'll just be like my mom and make our bathing suits. Yes, my mother made all my bathing suits growing up. When we were on the swim team, we just had to do without the fancy expensive swim team suit. Ohhhh, how I coveted them!! But she did make my younger brother a mini-bun hugging Speedo. A "banana hammock" of sorts. She cut up a pair of his underwear as a pattern. Oh man, I miss the good old days when my mom was making our clothes and trying to pass them off as "cool." Good times being poor.

Anyway, that little suit of hers kept her warm in the water and kept the sun off of her. I didn't take one with the hat, but that's because she kept dipping her head down and you couldn't see her face. And on the right are my cousins and brother and Clarin dancing to some booty shaking song. I don't remember what it was . . .oh wait, I do. It was "My humps" by Fergie. Good booty shakin' times on the the house boat.















And this last one is of us on the houseboat playing cards. Notice my head sticking out the side door. That was my room. And this is Evi looking at Marcelo when she got home. She really missed him. And he was happy that he could still make her smile.

So that was it!! I was so glad I didn't get sunburned the whole time I was up there. I can't say the same about everyone else, but I know my way around a good bottle of sunscreen. I will NOT die of cancer. I would rather live a very long (howbeit lily-white and pasty) life where I can see my kids and grandkids grow old.

Here's to more Pal trips!! WHOO HOOO!!

Oh, I forgot to put the story behind the title!! See my sister's oldest boy, Jack is freaking hilarious. He kinda has a light lisp and the greatest imagination. So we were all in the water bobbing around the back of the houseboat and he was going down the slide off the back. And he would like hold the sides of the slide as he went down and it would make a horrible squeak and it sounded like it really hurt. So I told him to put his hands up when he went down. You know, to reach maximum velocity, critical mass, etc.

And then he says "When I go down, I'm going to say something from Halloween. (Starting to slide) . . .JACKITY LANTERN!!!" Oh my gosh, It was awesome!! He got such a great response on that one, that he decided to go down AGAIN and do another Halloween vignette. It went like this. (Looking over shoulder) "Oh no!! He's chasing me!" (climbing up on slide) "I've got to get away" (Irrationally bobbling head as if he were scared and then using his hands to imitate bulging eyeballs. Which apparently is a necessity when you are running for your life on Halloween. Then he climbs on slide and says. . .) "I have to get away!! Agghh" And water entry.

Jack was the entertainment for the whole weekend. He "broke" the news of my sister's pregnancy but stopped halfway through the middle of the announcement because he didn't know if he could tell the secret yet. So he ran back and got the clear to launch and came back and finished the announcement. And he would write us letters. Very good letters with clear plots and lots of suspense. Really, he is very smart for a 5 year old. And he's hilarious when he gets so exhausted. He tries to bargain and make up ridiculous claims and requests. Oh, it's good times.

Anyway, that's the explanation around the title. Here's wishing you all a good JACKITY LANTERN!!

Te Presento Evelyn Loor

Hola Presiosura,

Hoy día tu papi te dio un nombre y una bendición. Somos miembros de Park 6th Ward en Orem Utah, y nuestra capilla se encuentra en Center Street y 400 West en Orem. Todos los presentes fueron: Tus tíos Chad & Sarah, tus primos Isabel, Jack y Noah, tu tío Nate, tu tío Jacob y su novia Clarín y Cristian & Georgia y Amy & Juan Carlos quienes son amigos de tus padres. Tu papi te dio la bendición acompañado con Chad, Nathan, Juan Carlos, Cristian y Hermano Woolley quien es 1° consejero en el obispado.

Tu papi te dió la bendición en español aunque casi nadie habla español en nuestro barrio. Lamento que nadie más que yo escribí las palabras de tu bendición porque tengo miedo que no escribí todo. Pero hice lo que pude. Debes saber que tu papi empezó a llorar cuando estaba dándote la bendición. Todos pudieron ver el amor que él tiene para ti. Aunque la gente no entendieron todo, pudieron entender El Espíritu y el amor con que te bendijo.

Y el bendijo con lo siguiente: Tus padres te aman. Gracias por ser una bendición en la vida de tus padres. Gracias por venir a nuestra familia y traer tu amor. Te bendecimos con sabiduría, y conocimiento. Te bendecimos con el poder de hacer decisiones correctas para regresar a tu Padre Celestial. Que puedas reconocer lo bueno en la vida. Quiero que sepas que tu Padre Celestial te ama. Te bendecimos que tengas a Jesucristo en tu mente y reconozcas sus enseñazas. Te bendecimos con salud, que tu cuerpo crezca sano y fuerte. Te bendecimos con humor y con obediencia a tus padres. Te bendecimos que puedas seguir el camino recto que te lleva a la salvación. Tus padres te aman, y haremos todo lo posible para hacerte feliz y ayudar que te permanezcas en el camino angosto y estrecho.

Te Amamos Evelyn!!

Con amor, Tus Padres.

Here are some pictures from the day.




















The dress is a loan from Cristian and Georgia. They were at the blessing and are currently renting our house. Thanks you guys!!
















Here is a picture of my sister, her 3 kids Nate, Jake and Clarin. And of course Evelyn in her blessing dress. I don't know why she was so giggly and happy that day!! But I'm really happy she was. We got some great shots of her. Oh, and of my boobs too. You can't NOT get them in the picture. They're huge, as we all know.

And for all of you who don't speak Spanish, here is the translation.

Today your father gave you a name and a blessing. We are members of Park 6th Ward in Orem, UT and our chapel is on Center Street and 400 West in Orem. Those present were: Your aunt & uncle Chad and Sarah, your cousins Isabel, Jack & Noah, Your uncle Nate, your Uncle Jacob and his girlfriend Clarin, and Cristian & Georgia and Amy & Juan Carlos who are friends of your parents. Your father blessed you accompanied by Chad, Nathan, Juan Carlos, Cristian and Brother Woolley who is the first counselor in our bishopric.

Your father gave you the blessing in Spanish even though almost nobody speaks Spanish in our ward. I'm sad that no one else could write down the words of the blessing because I'm afraid that I didn't write down everything. But I did what I could. You should know that your father started to cry when he was giving the blessing. Everyone could see the love he has for you. Even though they couldn't understand everything, they could understand The Spirit and the love with which he blessed you.

And he blessed you with the following: Your parents love you. Thank you for being a blessing in the lives of your parents. Thank you for coming to our house and bringing your love. We bless you with wisdom and knowledge. We bless you with the power to make correct decisions to be able to return to your Father in Heaven. We bless you that you will have Jesus Christ present in your mind and that you will be able to recognize his teachings. We bless you with health, that your body may grow healthy and strong. We bless you with humor and obedience to your parents. We bless you to be able to follow the straight path that leads to salvation. Your parents love you, and we will do everything possible to make you happy and help you to stay on the straight and narrow path.

We love you Evelyn!! Love, your parents

Cheesecake and Jelly Beans-Part Tres

Well my friends, it's time for another installment of "Cheesecake and Jelly Beans." This is the Post Pardom/Summer Edition! 30% off for your reading pleasure. And let me tell you, there will be plenty of reading pleasure going on starting. . . . .NOW!

I am on a diet. I really need to do this. I hate being fat, I complain about it all the time and I'm the only one that can do anything about it. I know I have loyal supporters (I'm looking at you Lisa and Reagan) who will tell me I'm not fat. I beg to differ. I am huge. I'm not going to SAY it, but I'm thinking that recently the words MORBIDLY OBESE have been used in regards to my body. Whenever I think about caving and going and getting that combo meal I've been thinking about for hours and hours and days and day, I just think the words "morbidly obese" and that usually stops me right there.

Another Jelly Bean is that I'm afraid I'm going to lose my milk if I go too strict on my food restrictions. But that's the best way I can lose weight. I mean, I can also lose weight, by exercising, but I HATE exercising. But more on that later. I actually talked to my sister who's a RD (That's Registered Dietitian, if you were wondering) and she gave me a good calorie guideline I should try to hit. It was an eye opener becuase it's 700 calories HIGHER than what I usually hit when I'm trying to lose weight. My point? I'm never going to lose this weight. AND my baby has been ridiculously bad at night these past 3 days. Is that because my milk is less nutritious? Oh man, I don't want to even consider that cause it will just make me want to run into the arms of french fries.

(Actually, it's a jelly bean that I can't EAT cheesecake right now. But let me not remind myself of that again.) The Cheesecake here is that during the summer, there is a plethera of fresh fruits and veggies to be had by the eaters. Both yesterday and the day before, I ate a whole half of a honeydew melon. Oh, I love honeydew. It's the one melon that hasn't been tainted yet by Viagra talk or my mission. On my mission they would blend up just straight cantaloupe and stick it in a glass for you. It was thick and almost like you needed to chew it. NOT DELICIOUS. I've never been a fan of cantaloupe since. But I like the fact that there are so many other fruits to choose from. Choice of many different fruits=Cheesecake

Working out. UGH!! I hate working out. Now, I don't think any of my readers are as fat as I am, so I'm going to enlighten them on what it's like to work out when you are MORBIDLY OBESE. First, you go to put on a "work out" shirt, one that used to be so big and roomy. It now is snug and clings to your baby fat pouch like an 18 year old girl on a pre-med major. It highlights and accentuates every jiggle and I swear the passerbys can see the stretch marks on my belly.

Then it comes to the actual WORKING OUT part. The fat on my inner thighs rubs together so much I could light a small forest fire with the friction going on down there. The heat isn't the only bad part, there is chafing going on. Chafing that will eventually lead to open wounds, and then to scabs. Scabs on the inner thighs. Roll that phrase around in your mouth a few times and just let the words caress your tongue and leave a nasty aftertaste.

Second Jelly Bean item in this topic: The Gold's Gym Parade of Idiots I'm forced to deal with everytime I go. What is it with these people? Why can't they just all go to the Cougar Eat to try to scam on each other? Why do they have to waste space in the gym and sit around on the equipment, not using it, yakking to each other about where to get the best fake tan? You know who I'm talking about. The people that go there just to oogle one another and try to pick up a date for the weekend.

Usually the guys who are doing this have spiky hair and LOOOOOOVE to stare at themselves in the mirror as they are walking around the gym. The girls who are doing this have come to the gym WITH MAKEUP ON and are wearing some type of shorty short that has writing on the ass. This writing says something like "Juicy" or "Pink" or "Gap" or "Jail Bait" or "Subtle" or "Look here please and base my value of a person on what you see jiggling underneath." I have nothing to say to these people, except "Go away and let me work out in peace!!"

Basically, exercising is a nightmare. And usually when I start to lose weight, I start by cutting waaaay back on calories so I can lose the first little bit of weight. Once I have that going for me, I start exercising. But because of the milk situation, I can't cut as far back on calories as I would like. So exercise has to be present from the beginning. UGH!! Did I mention how much I hate it? Oh yeah, I think we just covered that.

:If you ARE going to brave the gym and the ass shorts girls and the spiky narcissistic guys, then make sure there is a Cardio Cinema room in which to work out. Ahhhhh, Cardio Cinema, how I love thee. I love thee for your dimmed lights. I love thee for your various equipment, and plenty of it!! I love thee for your giant movie screen constantly playing chick flicks. At least I have something to watch as I try to keep the crotch of my pants from lighting on fire.

And finally, the last cheesecake item of the day: VACATION!! It's almost time for my family vacation. We are going to Pal (i.e. Lake Powell. If you don't get that joke, then obviously you are too busy to waste time on made up blogs) So we are going to Pal and renting a houseboat. We will have Jeff's big ski boat there too, and PLENTY of food (Reagan, we are going to have to talk about some "Modified Rules" for this upcoming week.)

Anyway, We've been talking about this since November. And it will be rocking cause everyone will be there! Sarah and her 3 kids will be coming from Texas. And Chad gets to come too!! Jeff, Tina, 5 kids, 2 dogs and a boat will also be there. Basically, every one from my family and their families will be coming (except my dad, of course). Marcelo was going to miss the first and third days, but would be there for the second day. (He has school that can't be missed) I was so excited for the vacation until a big giant turd of a Jelly Bean came in the mail in the form of. . .

MARCELO'S INS APPOINTMENT!! Those of you who know about our INS problems know that we've been waiting for this appointment for a year. And we've had to pay the American Government TWICE for the courtesy of THEM losing Marcelo's card. I'm STILL peeved about it. Do you have $400 just waiting around so you can pay the government for their
crappy service? I know I sure don't.

Anyway, we got his letter in the mail with his "biometrics" appointment time. (That's just a fancy way to say, "you have to pay $80 for us to take your picture and fingerprints. . . .TWICE") They schedule this for you, you don't have a say in it. If you *can't* make the appointment, then you can tell them, but you have to wait months for them to reschedule. The moment, and I mean MOMENT that I saw that day and time, I knew instantly that Marcelo wouldn't be coming to the family reunion. And it pissed me off that the government was once again screwing me over. THANKS GOVERNMENT!! Lose our card, hijack our money and then ruin my family reunion? You know why don't you just get it over with and shoot my dog? Then you will have totally ruined my summer.

Anyway, that is my newest installment of "Cheesecake and Jelly Beans" I hope to have another installment coming your way soon.

You are all Liars

Remember how everyone told me that I could easily transition my baby from sleeping in our bed to sleeping in her own bed? Well, I would now like to call all of you out on the carpet as LIARS.

My child has been sleeping 7-8 hours IN A ROW every night. I'm in Heaven. Well, last night I decided it was time to move her to her own bed. UGH!!! After putting her there at 11:20, she wok up at 12:45 and then again at 1:30. It was at that time that Marcelo said, "just pull her into bed with us." I did where she remained asleep for the next 8 hours.

So, again, I am calling you all out as dirty filthy liars. You will be punished for your lies. You have made my life horrible and I blame you 100% for all my problems.

Just kidding. It's not entirely your fault. I think it also has something to do with the fact that her "crib" is right by the A/C vent. I think she's just too cold at night. When I picked her up 1:30 her cheeks and hands were so cold. So that could be part of the problem. I do put a blanket on her (as well as dressing her in those "footie" PJ's) but she always kicks it off. And it's not like I can put the blanket over her face!! Or could I. . . ? Kidding, always kidding.

But I do know that she does love to be by us. When she was taking her nap yesterday, she started to wake up early, and Marcelo crawled in bed next to her and just started to snuggle her, and she fell right asleep next to him. She loves being close to us. She must take after Raya in that aspect. And I think that's also contributing to her not wanting to sleep in her crib. I really hope that you are all right and she'll have no problem sleeping there once I move her off the Ice Box.

I don't know if you care (maybe you don't) but my boobs are officially REGULATED!!! WHOOO HOOO!!! They are no longer rock hard cantaloupes, but are now juicy juicy mangoes. I bet I made everyone really crave a fruit salad right there. But I've taken the advice of my blog commenters and have bought myself a box of Lansinoh pads. I used them once before, back when I thought that a pad would be enough for me, when I saw that I had a free set of them given to me in the hospital. I LOVED them because I noticed that when liquid hits them, they act like a diaper and absorb it quickly and turn into a gel.

Well, as soon as I realized I could graduate from the cups to pads, I knew I wanted some. They ROCK and you don't leak through your cloth pads in the middle of the night. Anyway, I have them now and I'm in love with them. They keep my milk right where it should be, and now I'm not afraid to go out in public anymore. You know what that means!! I'm hitting Ladies Night at Club Grind tonight!! (I don't know if there is such a place as Club Grind. But it sounds dirty enough to be real, right?)

Finally, I would like to say that I really appreciate all the comments I get on my blog. I think all of you have really contributed to making me a great mother. You definitely have calmed me down about some things, and made me realize that I'm going to make it through these crazy times. I hope I can someday be as helpful to you as you have been for me.

Marcelo's Favorite Commerical

I love my husband. For some reason he's so freaking funny. Take for example this commercial:



I'm going to get a video of his face as the commercial comes on. He's like a little kid on Christmas morning!! His face lights up, and he starts singing along. When the "talking part" comes on, he turns to me, and says, "This is the coolest commercial." But then whips his head back around to watch the commercial again when the song comes on. For the end, he's usually BOUNCING around to the music and singing along.

Pure joy. Absolute pure joy. It's the funniest thing you will ever see, and it makes me happy to be his wife.

Ahhh, the joys of advertisements. Thanks for bringing my husband and myself such unbridled joy!

Laura Ashley

Ok, lots of posts today. But I forgot to add this to the previous post with all those pictures. This is an outfit that someone from my Orem ward gave to me. It's Laura Ashley. Can you tell?

Evelyn obviously isn't a fan. I don't know if it's the pink, the rosebuds the puffy sleeves, the collar with embroidery or the front pattern that's been sewn. AAAAGGGGHHH!!!

But here are some more shots of the monkey girl being cute in her crazy outfit.



































I love her personality so much these days!! Finally, here is a cute video of her in the not so cute outfit.



Why did I get blessed with such a beautiful and happy baby? I am one lucky lady.

A Few Great Pictures

I've been wanting to post some of these pictures for a while now. Here is a video of Evi's "half smile":



Pay no attention to the bad camera work at the end and the bad Spanish right in the middle. She's just so freaking cute. Oh, and notice how Raya is always there. Can't be away if something is going on.

And here is some awesome pictures of Evita's hair:















Isn't it great? We usually get a great "faux-hawk" going right after her bath. It usually falls flat after he first nap, but for a while it sticks straight up with a curl. I really want her to have curly hair.

And I would like to thank Lisa for freaking me out by telling me that Jack was born with curly hair and it all fell out and is now stick straight. I want my baby to have curly hair. But with Marcelo's straight STRAIGHT hair, I think she has a really good chance of having it be that way too. Dang you Marcelo and your hair!!

On another hair note, how can I convince Marcelo to try to grow out his hair? I need to get some photos of guys with straight hair who let it grow long. I think the problem is that it has like NO BEND to it at all. I don't know how long it would have to be for it to fold over. It's so thick and so straight and it just sticks out from whence it comes out of his head. Because of this, he prefers to have it SHORT. Nearly Military short. You can see his scalp through some parts on it. I think we need to have a hair intervention.

Moving on. Here are some pictures of her and that "creepy latino guy" we refer to as "Dad" every once in a while.





























To answer your question, yes, we are usually always in our underwear. Cause it's easier to clean spit up and poop out of one set of clothes, rather than through two layers. So even though we are wearing our underwear here, I'm going to put a video of her and the Creepy Latino Guy:



I think my little girl is just perfect. And she's starting to be so much fun!! She talks to us, and in the morning she's just so alert and awake. I know it's time for her to go and sleep in her crib at night, but there is just something amazing about curling up next to your little sleeping baby and hearing her sweet breath in your ear. I'm really going to miss these days. And now I know why people have babies over and over again.

Finally, here is a picture of the booger I pulled out of my girl's nose:


And a close up, just in case you wanted to see more:

OUCH!! Can you imagine having that rock hard thing in your nose? It was days before it came out all the way. It was being quite reclusive for a while, and then it would poke out a little, and then go back in. I tried using the balloon to pull it out, but I think it just pushed it back in. Finally, all her huffing and crying pushed out a corner of it, and I could grab it with some tweezers. And this is what came out!! Man, what an ordeal!! But at least it's gone now. And now there is room in there for MORE boogers. WHOO HOOO!!!