Book Review-Beautiful Boy

Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Meth Addiction by David Sheff

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars
This book connected with me on so many levels. It's about a father living in the Bay Area of California who's son has a very strong addiction to Meth. I've never been addicted to meth personally, but I still connected with this book. I think it's because my brother Jacob has has such a rough time for the past 4-5 years with drugs and alcohol.

One thing that really REALLY upsets me is when they call drug abuse or alcoholism a "disease." To me, a disease is something that you got through no fault of your own. Like a cold or cancer. But then the author makes a good point. Lots of the diseases we get ARE due to our own faults. Like cancer of the lung from smoking. Or syphilis from. . .well. . . you know. If you look at it that way, yeah, I guess many of my diseases are due to mistakes I personally have made. The author goes on to say that LIKE these other diseases you do all you can to fight it, but the ironic and twisted thing about drug abuse is that one of the symptoms of it is that you deny you have it and won't seek treatment.

The book is really a very good in depth look into the actual drug of meth. Why it was created, who makes it now, who uses it now, and how they use it. It also talks about what it does to your brain. One very scary thing it said is that it destroys the neural pathways in your brain and at a MINIMUM those take 2 years to repair. Until that happens, you are literally brain damaged and your desire and craving for meth is super strong. That is why meth has such a high relapse rate. Another factor is that there are no drugs like methadone (used to fight the cravings and withdrawals of heroin) that are for meth. And it has taken lawmakers WAAAY too long to accept that meth really is the demon drug everyone has been saying it is.

Finally, (wow, this is a long review, but I obviously really liked the book) the point of the book is that there are no easy answers. There is no magic wand that will make your kids impervious to drugs. There is no quick fix. It's just every day, every moment, fighting. I can really REALLY understand that as I work hard to lose weight right now. There is no fast answer, just me not eating crap and exercising. It seems simple right? The same way that it seems simple to everyone who isn't a drug addict: if you don't want to be an addict, then DON'T DO DRUGS!! Simple right? This book has really knocked me off my high horse when it comes to my feeling we are all untouchable by drugs. No one is out of it's grasp.

Basically, this book scared the S#*T out of me.


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Poutine

I know that I have gushed about my TiVo on more than one occasion. It makes me so happy when it find shows for me that I end up loving. That's how I found "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" and "South Sydney Story." But Marcelo and my new favorite is "Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations" on the Travel Channel.

Tony (we are on a first name basis these days) goes to different places all over the world and tries the local cuisine and talks to the people and just generally has a good time. He's mot afraid to eat or drink anything and he gets to try some of the best foods from all over the world.

And I think he just found my personal favorite. It's called poutine and it's from Quebec, Canada. Let me just lay this out for you: A bed of fries, covered with cheese curds. That would be enough for me right there. But then they put GRAVY on the top. Tony when he heard about this he was like "oh, wow, that does NOT sound good" and I actually said out loud back to the TV: YES IT DOES. Here is a picture of this lovely delicacy.

Lets start with the fries. They don't look like regular American fries. I'm imagining that they are extra crispy because they have a coating on them. Or that they are cooked extra long so they are not soggy at all but are kinda borderline burnt. Fries will ALWAYS be my go-to comfort food. I seriously have to stay away from them if I want to lose weight.

Next. The cheese curds. Is there anything more delicious than a nice melty cheese curd on top a crispy fry? Or just a cheese curd independent? Cold right from the fridge, they sqeak on your teeth and have a good substantial bite to them. BYU has GREAT cheese curds. They are the squeakiest curds I have ever come upon in my life. And believe you me, I have eaten my share of curds.

And finally, the gravy. This looks like special "Quebec" gravy. Not as fatty as traditional American gravy. I imagine that it's really just slightly thicker Au Juis sauce and it has a nice salty flavor but not the greasy film that clings to the top of your mouth. It melts the curds and makes it very nice to pick up a curd, fry and sauce all together.

Sadly, I am not French Canadian. Nor do I think I will ever go to Quebec. So then, how will I ever try this food that so obviously has been made from Satan's loins because the thought of it makes my skin bubble up in joy?

I need to try this "poutine"!! Does anyone know where I can find it?

I Get Karma Points for My Childhood

My brother Jeff sent out this email with a bunch of pictures on it from my childhood. He had some pretty good ones and so of COURSE I must share them with you.

Exhibit #1:

This is a picture of my family at our family reunion in Eureka one year. I would suspect I was about 11 or 12. (1991 or 1992) Please notice the braces. Please notice the "heart shirt" I am wearing. My mother was (and still is) obsessed with hearts. Heart patch, heart blankets, hearts.

I think it also makes Jeff happy to see two of his siblings in University of Utah stuff. He actually bought ALL of us shirts from the U. He wanted us to wear them all the time. Oh, and please notice Sarah's hair. I think that's a perm/natural curl combo. My mom was always giving us perms. My perm has evidently grown out, and my natural curl hasn't arrived yet. Now you know why it took so long for me to realize I had curly hair: I had perm brainwashing all the years growing up.

Exhibit #2:

This is a picture of us, showing some of the effects of that constant perming.
So we are in the center of the picture. My mom is in that blue dress with Julie on her lap. Nate is sitting next to her and Sarah is on the other side. I'm the only one looking at the camera, but I'm almost all the way obscured. And of course, my father: Mr. Happy Pants. I think we were at some sort of Scouting event. But look at my mom's hair. You should know she has stick straight hair, so that is ALL PERM baby.

Exhibit #3:

A classic Halloween. This is Nate and Jake.
Basically we had 2 choices for costumes: Ninja and cheerleader. Thanks to Tina giving us all her old cheer outfits, we could wear them for years. (I'll try to get some pictures of those cheer costumes for future embarrassing posts). Anyway point simple, the boys were ninjas every year.

Exhibit #4:

Remember how I missed my calling as a ballerina? Well, after looking at this picture I don't think I was wrong in finding something else to do with my life.

That's me front and center with my arms open wide. My sister is the farthest one on the right standing up. Note the chiffon. Note the flowers in the hair. Please note the fact that I thought I was hot stuff. Commence mockery.

Exhibit #5:

Some cute kids.
On the left is Jake and Julie. You can always tell Jules in every picture because she has those red patches under her eyes. She's had them since birth and still has them to this day. Oh!! That dress she's wearing on the left was like her FAVORITE dress. One day we came home from one of Sarah's Jr. High basketball games and noticed that she was wearing that dress but not any underwear. Ahh, we were such raggamuffins.

And then in the picutre on the right, I belive that is Jules and Nate on one of our most beloved go-carts. We ran those things into the ground, but they were so SO awesome. So, I'm not 100% sure that's Julie, (it might be me on the cart) but just looking at the size of Nate tells me it is probably Julie.

The other reason I think that's a picture of Julie on the right is the fact that these are pictures that belong to Jeff. And Jeff was obsessed with Julie. She was HIS child, and he obviously preferred her to all the other kids. And with reason: he was there for her birth. He called her "Julie Bear" up until he met his wife who he then started calling "Tina Bear". But Julie went with him everywhere. He would take her on dates with him and all that jazz. I still harbor seething jealous resentment from it. Obviously.

Furthermore, the person on the go-cart is wearing boots and I NEVER owned any boots despite my begging and begging my mom to buy me some. We weren't rich enough to get more then 1 pair of shoes a year, and they had to be SCHOOL shoes. So white boots used primarily for fashion were out of the question. Anyway I'm pretty sure that's Jules on the Go-cart.

And finally, the culmination of all your hopes and dreams, what you have all been waiting around reading this lame post to see, here it is. . .

Exhibit #6

The Headgear. Oh the blessed blessed headgear. A pictures says a thousand words, so here, take a look at it.


I'm obviously on the far right. I had a pretty severe under bite and when my mom took me too the orthodontist in 1988, this was what they suggested I wear. You can see it's a metal frame with a plastic chin cup.

Let me just explain that chin cup: It was not fun. AZ is hot year round. Especially for a kid that runs around all the time, which is what I was. So That cup would sit on my chin and get all hot and sweaty and make my chin all hot and sweaty and break out in a horrible rash. Every day. Red chin EVERY DAY.

I don't remember too many people mocking me for the red chin, though. I think they all pitied me. And I had to wear it 24 hours for months, and then I got to just wear it at night. So by the time they saw me WITHOUT it (and just the red chin) they knew what it was from and it wasn't anything strange to them. But I need to find a picture of myself without the headgear on so you can see the effects of a suffocated chin.

There was also a little rectangle that attached to the top that was to sit on my forehead. But I got smart after a few months and got rid of it. So instead of having a square of red skin, I had a red line/scab because that thin little bar would dig into my skin.

So there you go. Those are a few pictures showing the horror that was growing up in my family. Aren't you thanking the heavens right now for your family? I thought so.

Reading Roundup

As I previously told ya'll, I've been reading a lot these days. Here are the reviews of the books I've read recently:

Candyfreak: A Journey through the Chocolate Underbelly of America by Steve Almond

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars
Do you ever watch "Unwrapped" on Food Network? This book is like a mini version of that show. The author takes you through several candy factories throughout America all the while talking about his own love of candy and what it means to him on a personal level. He's one of my favorite authors, so I really like his writing style and he continues it on here.

I like how he talks about how small candy producers are dying and the "big three" are taking over. (Hershey's, Nestle and Mars) And how he wishes that everyone loved candy as much as he does so that he can always be assured that his favorite candy bars are around forever.

If you (like me) are a candy FREAK, you will see WAAAAY too much of yourself in his writings.And that's what the purpose of this book was: for the author to discover if he was alone in his candy freaky-ness or if others were just as crazy as he. Turns out, lots are.

This book was fun, I would recommend it to anyone who wants to know a little about the history of candy and candy making in America. Or if they just love candy.


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The Glass Castle: A Memoir by Jeannette Walls

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars
Wow. That's all I can say. I don't know if you know anything about this book, but it's the memoir of Jeannette Walls and her family as they lived and learned about life growing up penniless and homeless most of the time. The book kind of angered me, because it seemed like no one ever called their parent on their crap. They never said, "Hey, you are horrible people, you need to get it together or you will lose your kids." They eventually do lose their kids, but not in the way you are thinking.

Some of the things that happen in this book are horrific. Jeannette being on fire, the father's alcoholism, their home in West Virginia and the fact that abuse is all around them waiting to pounce. However, the kids in this book are brilliant and it's easy to see why they are gong to "make it" in the world. For such a horrible person, their father really did teach them what they would need to survive. By doing it he both exposed them to danger at every turn, and also gave them the resources they needed to save themselves.

And the kid love their parents. STILL!! They are easily duped by them, and they put up with them so they must love them. And they do put up with a lot. I think this book was a way for Jeannette and her siblings to release their demons. And she does in a matter of fact way that is so amazing. Like she just puts it out there and is like "This is what happened. It is what it is." I don't think I could be that reserved and calm when going back and reliving all the things that had happened to me in a horrible childhood like hers.

This was a quick read. 1 day for me. I would recommend it to anyone.


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The Host: A Novel by Stephenie Meyer

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars
I actually liked this book more then I thought I would. I thought I would be dragging through it hating the fact that I picked it up because now I have to finish it. But I really did like it.

I liked how there was lots of talk about us as humans and what we do to each other and are we better off being FORCED to live a certain way. In that way, it seems like the author was exploring the idea of what would've happened if Lucifer had his way. Yes everything would've been "great" but we would've just been shells of ourselves, never achieving the potential we are capable of.

Did I like the way it ended? I'm not sure yet. I think I did, but then again sometimes when I think back on it, it was a little too "happily ever after" for me. Very Disney ending. Sort of.

I was very surprised at how much I liked this book. I think that Stephanie Meyer gets a lot of crap for writing "fluff" books, but I really admire her ability to have a story and then translate that story into a great book. She really is talented at what she does.

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The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
This book was really good. And REALLY sad at the same time. My mom had her first baby right around the time this book starts, and she's told me a lot about that experience. So I can understand the mentality of the doctor to try to get rid of his second baby as soon as she's born. My mom was not a fan of 1960's medicine and baby practices, and so when she had her second, she swore it would be different. And it was.

But this book was so happy and sad at the same time. And I think what it was trying to tell us is that your life and the lives of people around you can be altered and changed forever in just one second, with just one decision. So what I got from it was that I need to slow down and make my decisions be better.

But I really noticed how the little girl in this book was loved by so many. Once thought to be put away, shoved aside to make room for the "better good" of everyone, in the end she gets the most love from all.


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The Shack by William P. Young

My review

rating: 1 of 5 stars
I stopped reading about page 100. I figure if I'm going to read about God, I would rather read something from my own religion, or at least something that's true. Rather then some fictionalized experience dreamed up by an author.

If you did read through it all and think I should finish, please let me know why.


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So that's it. I'm still reading other things and I'll let you know how they go too. . . as if you even cared.

I'll make a Dill with you

Last Sunday, when I was festering in my anger from in my nursery classroom, I overheard a lurking parent say the following, "I'll make a dill with you. . ." A dill? How do you make a dill with someone? A dill pickle? or a dill like "your kid is being a total dill today"? That kind of dill?

And then she continued on: "I'll make a dill with you, You stay here and play games and I'll read you 3 stories when I get home." It then hit me that she was going to make a DEAL with her child.

And then on the radio, I heard they were advertising some sort of cheap airline trip that you could take with the hosts of the show. They said, "This is a great dill, so you won't want to miss out". Again I had to stop and think about why they would say "this is a great dill." I thought those TV and radio people were supposed to be trained to make sure they got rid of most of their accents. Oh well, I just laughed and moved on.

I still haven't gotten over the strange accent I hear around here. The funny thing is that I'll catch myself saying fill instead of feel and I'll stop, go back and correct myself. So I'm aware of it, and yet I still do it myself.

Eric Snider found this funny story about this same thing that happened right here in Utah. You can find it here. Go read it. it's short. I'll wait for you here. Isn't that funny? I told my mom that story and she laughed right out loud.

Anyway, so as to be an equal employing mocker, I'm going to tell a funny story about Marcelo. On Sunday I told him that I nursed Evi to sleep, but I was worried she wouldn't stay asleep. And he said, "Oh, she didn't Furbp?" I said, what did you just say? Say that word again. And he said, "Furbp". Ohh, the hilarity. Obviously he was trying to say BURP, but the past 4 and a half years he's heard me say it, he thought I was always sayin furbp. I do love my husband

Shout Out

My freshman college roommate Mindy W. Burns has started a scrapbooking blog for digital scrapbooking. I personally don't digitally scrapbook for the same reasons I stopped paper scrapbooking: no money and no time.

But Mindy worked hard and has this great page where you can submit your own pages, win prizes and see what others are doing. If you have any interest in scrapbooking (digital AND/OR "original" paper style) you should check out her website.

Click here to go to the page and add her to your reader.

Let's get scrapin'!

Taking the New Toy Out For a Spin

So because I was sans computer this week, I forgot to blog about Evi's newest acquisition. . . . .a TOOTH. That's right, Tuesday morning about 2 am that little bugger came poking through. Then Tuesday and Wednesday night it decided to "lay low" in preparation for last night's BIG SHOW.

Oh, aren't those "teething nights" just the best? Good times. No. . .wait. . . GREAT TIMES!! I love a screaming child inconsolable by food, rocking and toys. That's my idea of paradise.

And how is she commemorating the occasion? By eating Raya's food, of course. AWESOME!!! See, she has no interest in putting any human food in her mouth at all. Rice puffs? Nope, they stay in her hand. Eggs? Nope, she just whips them around her tray smearing them everywhere. But dog food? STRAIGHT TO THE MOUTH!! So fast so that by the time I turn around, she's already in the kitchen, dumped the food on the ground, has a piece of food in each hand, has already put one piece in her mouth and has already pulled it out to examine it once again. She's a fast little bugger.

Man, I'm so in love with this girl I don't even know what to do with myself.