Say WHAT?

I don't really watch commercials anymore. That's the blessing of a TiVo. However, Here are the most offensive ads that I have found recently:

Offensive #1) The Dolce & Gabbana commercial that does not just ALLUDE to a, um, threesome (between 1 girl and 2 guys) but shows quite a bit of TOUCHING, KISSING, RUBBING and general near humping. I get that D&G wants to be cool and awesome, but leave that kind of stuff for a Cosmo ad!! I don't need it right in the middle of SYTYCD.

I really don't think the commercial was in the middle of SYTYCD, but I can't remember where it was. Actually, maybe that's my problem. It was in the middle of a trashy show I watch. I need to stop watching E! Television. Moving on.

Offensive #2) The Schick "TrimStyle" Commercial. Have you seen these? They are not new. But the general idea of the commercial is that a woman walks by a little house plant, and magically the houseplant is "trimmed" in such a way to allude to the fact that this woman is sporting the same shape on her. . . um. . . .privates.

I think my jaw actually hit the ground when I saw this. I mean, it was SOOO brazen. It's like the woman walks by, the plant is WAIST HIGH, and then it's "trimmed". I don't want to be thinking about another woman trimming anything. Nor do I want to look at a woman and try to guess her private "shape". This is the actual ad:

Introducing Schick^® Quattro for Women^® TrimStyle^™

It's just the gadget a girl needs to stay perfectly groomed. Try new Quattro for Women® TrimStyle™, the first four-blade razor and waterproof bikini trimmer in one. Shave, trim and transform with just the flip of a handle.

Shave? Trim? TRANSFORM?!?! I'm not turning my nethers into Optimis Prime here. I don't want to transform, nor think about others' transformations either. Gross. Sorry, just. . . gross. Again, save it for Cosmo, Schick.

Offensive #3) Charmin. I KNOW this was during prime time. Like during SYTYCD. The ad says, Charmin has 2 plys to "Get the job done". I don't want to be thinking about big JOBS being laid down in the bathroom. I like to think that people go into the bathroom, and everything is fine. There is no JOB or WORK involved. That everything comes along swimmingly.

Let's just say that my family has enough SFTT's (originally BFTT's but Julie and I changed it this weekend) to make me know that not all times in the bathroom are good times. So I don't like to be reminded of that by some fat fluorescent pink bears swinging on trees. No more talk about bathroom "jobs". Thank you

What ads make you cringe? Please do tell.

Book Review: Born Round: The Secret History of a Full-Time Eater

Born Round: The Secret History of a Full-Time Eater by Frank Bruni


My rating: 5 of 5 stars
The author of this book is the current food critic for the NY Times. However, he has had a long and difficult relationship with food. I loved this book, because I feel like I too have had a long and difficult relationship with food.

I saw so much of myself in him, in his writing, and in his feelings towards self image. There's a part about how he meets someone and they ask him out, and then he puts off the date for weeks because he always wants to lose a "few pounds" or fit into those one pair of jeans. Even though his friends tell him, "um didn't they already see you? They know what you look like!" And he has all these excuses like "well, the lighting was good" and "he probably was distracted" or things like that. It's hilarious, but so true.

See, people with real body issues see things that others don't yet they are blind to other things. They see the worst in themselves, think that everyone is looking at their love handles, and thinks that every comment is a comment about their weight. They notice the skinny people in the room, and notice the chubby ones too, and they rank themselves to where they fall in line in the "fatter or skinner than" race.

However, they are also delusional about their real size. They don't want to know their weight, and they wear tight-ill fitting clothing so that they don't have to go to the store to try to fit on the size they THINK they wear, only to have to go up 2 sizes to find the size they really wear. Or if they Do go to those stores, they go to Ross or TJ Maxx (or DI) so they won't spend too much money on clothes that they will inevitably hate. And they know their real size now! Why would they want to buy clothes? Might as well wear that one pair of pants over and over again until they get holes in the crotch and have to be thrown out. . . not like I know that from experience or anything.

They also don't want to stand on a scale. There's a hilarious story about when the author reaches his highest weight right after he was on the 2000 campaign trail with Bush and he goes to the Dr. and says "I don't want to know what my weight is. Just don't tell me" (this is something he had done for years, since adolescence actually) And after he steps off, the Dr looks at him and says, "you weigh 268 pounds". Just like that. HA HA HA!! Hilarious. And just what he needed.

Anyway, I thought this book would be about his life as a food critic. And while it does eventually get there, it's much more of a personal memoir about his struggle with his weight. And I mean a real struggle. Not those 5-10 vanity pounds that most people want to lose, but the 25, 75 or 100 pounds that you fight against, the binging and purging cycles, the laxatives that you take, the crazy diets that rule your life, and the inevitable fall into that bucket of KFC chicken. This book is for you. It will make you laugh and smile and then make you want to go to the gym and get your exercise on.

Well, it did for me, anyway.

Athletic Supporter

I'm not a crazy fan of any sports team. I hate trash talk and I don't let a ruined tournament decide my mood for the day. Why would I base my self esteem on something I can't control? I think about those people who are trash talkers. You may be able to talk the biggest pile of trash, but what happens if someone breaks a leg? Then you look like an idiot for something you had nothing to do with. I try to keep my idiot occurrences down to the factory minimum. (To answer your question, that minimum is 3 a week. With an increase to 5 during the holidays/family reunions.)

That being said, certain sports are welcome around our house. Welcome on the TV and welcome in conversation. Here they are in no particular order:

Rugby: This is all me. I get very snotty when I'm at a BYU game and I hear blond girls around me say "What is going on. . .I don't get it . . Why do they lift him by his shorts? What is going on? Did we score? Who's side are we on? What is going on? . . .That one, #8, looks good doesn't he? Does anyone know what is going on?"

I've stopped explaining the game to them. It just annoys me. I get up and move to another part of the stands. Seriously, why are all those girls blond? But I love watching a good Rugby game. Marcelo and I have plans to one day visit Europe for like 2 weeks, and on the schedule is a Rugby game for me and a Futbol game for him. Which brings me to my next sport. . .

Futbol: DUH!! Being from South America, this is a given. However, the best thing is that Marcelo loves the English Premiere league while simultaneously rejects the Mexican league. How very racist of him. I think he, like me, has a secret crush on Ronoldo. Hmmm, Ronoldo

He says no, but I see the way his eyes glaze over as he views Ronaldo's little gelled spikes adorning his pixie face. Marcelo doesn't SAY he has a pixie face, but I can see that he's thinking it. Anyway, Futbol is awesome. And Real Salt Lake is the champion. SUCK IT BECKHAM! And finally

The Scripps National Spelling Bee: I got married the summer of 2004. Right in the middle of the summer Olympics from Greece. The day we arrive in San Diego Marcelo and I checked into the hotel and waited for my family to arrive. In order to avoid temptation, we turned on the TV where there was a replay of the spelling bee from back in May. We were sucked in. The Olympics may have been going on, but we were all about those 11 and 12 year old kids spelling words like pococurante and autochthonous. Man, those kids are genius. . .and a little socially awkward. Which in my book is a perfect combination for disaster or good television. I'm glad we got the latter.

And for any of you who don't think that the spelling bee is a sport, I'll ask you this. . .Why do they broadcast it on ESPN then? BOOO-yaaaa!!

And in case you are wondering, here are some sports that are almost never welcome around our house.

Basketball. Marcelo HATES basketball. I hate that one game can last hours. And that often the last 3 minutes can last 15 or 20 minutes. We are not basketball fans. I don't come down on any of you that are, we just aren't.

Football. Again, no judgment on anyone who loves and worships this sport. I mean, we have our own worship going on over here at the altar of futbol, so we are not one to talk. But I just hate the sport. I hate the endless substitutions, endless breaks, huddles and time outs. I mean, isn't it time to PLAY the game? 4 seconds of "action" and it's time to take another huddle break. Let's get something going here! It is NOT a thinking man's game. And Marcelo is disgusted at how someone can be 318 pounds and be considered an athlete. We do NOT like football around here.

Baseball. This is all Marcelo. I actually like going to live games. Games on TV can be a little slow, but games live are much better. Marcelo thinks that the game is "so boring" and doesn't even like to go to the stadiums. I bet he would go if he knew what delicious things they sold there.

So that's it. Basically, we are sports snobs. I hope I didn't offend anyone here. I mean, if you are a live-and-die football fan, maybe you should get a life. I KID!! I'm just kidding!! Ok, I'll shut up now and hit the showers. Because being an athletic supporter can get really sweaty!!

Favorite Song

Do you know what my favorite song is? Of all time? "Under Pressure" by David Bowie and Freddie Mercury. You know, the song that Vanilla Ice stole and turned into the lamest song ever? I am of course referring to Ice Ice Baby.

Anyway, I love that song. I could listen to it over and over again.

And I hate Vanilla Ice for ruining it. My husband actually heard it and was like "Hey!! That song copied Ice Ice Baby!" Arrrgh (Actually, Marcelo calls the song "Ice Ice Skating." It's kinda cute)

What is your favorite song? The one that you can never tire of? The one that stands the test of time? The one that you crank in your car and makes you feel good?

Do tell

*Mental note to self, I should go Ice Ice Skating this winter.*

Opinions Needed

So I have a question for all my bloggy readers out there. I'm in the need for a new set of headphones. I listen to my iPod about 5 hours in the day (almost always books) and so my headphones get used a lot. Evi destroyed my favorite pair on the way back from Ecuador, (like in the last 10 hours of the trip. It was SOOO annoying to listen in only one ear) and then Marcelo bought me a new set.

Which finally ate the dust Thursday. I think Evi had lots to do with their destruction. She pulls on them, wraps them around her arms, wraps up the dog in them and puts them in and out of the iPod herself. I hate not having earphones right now. However, I wasn't too disappointed about those specific earphones kaput because they hurt my ears. Let me show you a picture of those she just destroyed:

See, they hook over the ear, however, they have those little bud things that go in your ear. And those HURT me. Am I alone in this? Do they hurt your ears too? Much like the little buds that you get free WITH the iPod (shown in white here on the right)

I mean, maybe my ears are shaped weird, but they KILL my ears. They hurt when I put them in, and they hurt after just a few minutes in there. Usually I will just fight it out, but if I wear them for a long time, they will give me a headache. You may ask, "Why do you wear things that hurt? Why not just buy more?" Well, I'm poor, and resourceful, and well, let's not get into it now.

So here is a picture of the current headphones I am using:

UMMMM, LESS EFFECTIVE!! Seriously, people notice when you are wearing these walking down the street, And it's embarrassing. So I just wear them around the house, but that means that I can't listen to my iPod while out walking. Which is lots of the day (running errands around here, and such) and so I miss prime iPod time then. And it frustrates me.

So, back to my main question and reason for this post. I need your help. Has anyone tried the earphones that look like this?

They have little silicone soft parts on the tips so I think they might be nicer on my ears. However, I don't think I can buy them and try them out and then take them back if I don't like them. I look at earphones like underpants and bathing suits: You buy it and try it on, you got it for LIFE. I don't want to buy someone's ear bud they stuck in their nasty ears and then took back. YEACH!!

So I need opinions from my friends out there who have tried them. Are they comfortable? how far in do those little silicone parts go? Is the sound good? Have you exercised in them? Do they slip out if they get wet from your sweat? Will I like them at the gym? Are they worth the money? Also, are they pretty durable? Remember, I have a child that likes to pull on them and is a very good "earphone destroying" device.

If not, I think I'm just going to go with these:


These are the kind that I had for a while, the kind that I took to Ecuador before they went kaput. But maybe that's a bad sign.

Notice how they don't have those little ear buds that hurt my ears. Instead they have discs that SLIDE INTO the ears. No pain, all good music listening.

So that's it my friends. Can you help me with this? I really am in desperate need. Otherwise I'm going to have to go around town with those big headphones and look like the kid who sits in back of the class and eats paste.

Hmmmm, PASTE.

The Halloween Post

If you have a child, when they hand you your child at the hospital, they say "Now, you must do blog posts about Halloween. If you don't, we will find out and come GET this child and give her to a family that knows how to use a camera, and will properly document her holidays."

So, I 'm obliged to do this post. Sorry if you don't want to read it.

Last year Evi's was a pig. Or should I call her a "piglet"? I still have the ears I made. I might use them on another child years down the road. But this year my mom found a great costume at a garage sale. And she knows that I like the color green and I like to dress my girl like a boy. Let's all admit it. I do. So she sent it to her, and my kid is AWESOME looking.

Here she is at the Halloween Party our ward had Wednesday night. She really didn't care about trick or treating. She just wanted to eat her popcorn and wander the halls. My child is SO super anti-social. There were about 50 kids there all her age! And she didn't want anything to do with them. She kept walking away from them and walking into the foyer so she could sit and enjoy her sucker in peace.

Here are some pictures of her avoiding kids and eating her sucker in peace. Oh, she was a Kimono Dragon for Halloween.





























Seriously anti-social, right? Is that inherited?

Ok, and as an added bonus, here is her using her very effective non-verbal skills to tell me what she wants.



I'm teaching her bad habits, obviously. But pumpkin ice cream is SOOOOO good.

Book Review: The Men who Stare at Goats

The Men Who Stare at Goats by Jon Ronson


My rating: 4 of 5 stars
I saw the author on Colbert and thought that the book looked good. So I put in on my list of books to read. And I then I saw an ad for a movie based on the book!! And the movie trailer looked really funny too. So I though, "this is going to be a great book! The ads look funny! The book will be funny too!"

No, this book is not funny. This book is about torture. It may start off somewhat lighthearted, but the true moral of the story is that torture has a long history in the U.S. Military and that history is not pretty. While some ideas (like staring at goats to make them collapse) may seem fantastical, so were other ideas like subliminal messages or foam that can be sprayed to immobilize combatants. Those were once crazy ideas, but have been/are being used.

The author tells a story about how the Barney song "I love you" was used to torture while played over and over for 15 hours, and of course the jokes always were "well, any parent of a 3 year old will affirm that they will do ANYTHING to make that song stop". And it seems to say that the author is kind of upset that torture is being brushed aside, being joked about on the The View, that Al Roker is saying "I've been tortured with that song myself".

Which is understandable. However, it almost seems that the author is a hypocrite. Because he starts off his book about a VERY serious subject, with a story about men making goats collapse, and then making a hamster go catatonic and then hate his wheel. It almost seems like he is doing the same thing: He's using a silly story to talk about torture.

That being said, I really liked this book. I really did. I felt that it was so informative and sad and shocking all together. I don't know about the movie though. I wonder if they will go the silly "goats falling over" route, or the more "the CIA killed my father and covered it up because he was torturing people for them" route. Hmmm. I guess I'll wait for Eric D. Snider to see it for me and tell me what he thinks.