The deception continues

I just found out that my boss doesn't know that I'm pregnant. Obviously, I've been trying to keep it from her for as long as possible. However, I've just definitively discovered that she doesn't know. And how do I know that? Well, thanks to the most recent cover of Newsweek. The title is, "Fertility and Diet: How what you eat affects your odds of getting pregnant." My boss looks at it and tosses it towards me.

I just saw the picture, and I was just about to freak out thinking "Oh no!! she knows!!" But then I read the subtitle and I said: "Oh, I need to read this so I can avoid those foods that might get me pregnant?"

"YES" she said. And then she said something that made me bust up laughing, inside. She says, "Just remember how much Heather changed when she got pregnant.

Now this is funny for so many reasons. And here is a list of those reasons:
1. I was so happy that she doesn't know that I'm pregnant. I have been REALLY worried about it recently because I think that my belly has been sticking out more. But the truth is that I carry a lot of weight around my belly, and I'm DEFINITELY not losing weight, so she must just assume I've just let myself go. But I feel that there is one shirt in particular that exhibits my belly too much for comfort. So it was nice to know that she doesn't know the truth

2. Heather didn't change at ALL when she was pregnant. It was all in my boss's head. Heather would puke a couple of times a day, you know, normal pregnancy stuff but I was the only one that knew about it. I was sick several times during that time because I was so over worked and I hadn't had a vacation day for more than a year. I missed more work that she did during that time. However, my boss would pull me into her office at least once a week and tell me that Heather's productivity had dropped to 25% of normal and blah blah blah. Bull crap, all of it.

3. I'm so excited that I will be in my 3rd trimester before she even KNOWS that i'm pregnant, (hoping that everything goes as well as planned) and then she can NEVER say that I "changed." So that pretty much seals her fate when she'll try to say that pregnant woman are unproductive She actually pulled me into her office on Thursday and told me that she could see that I was no longer as moody as I was previously, and that she could tell I was trying to "do better." Which brings me to point number

4. I think that I HAVE changed. I mean, during my first trimester I was horribly moody. I could feel the hormones raging inside of me like heroin. I had a much shorter temper with EVERYONE and I said a lot more obscenities in these days I don't blame my boss for wondering what was wrong with me and thinking that I was "off", but I think she never suspected pregnancy because she thinks that I would INSTANTLY tell her if I was. I don't know why she would think that she merited such consideration when she herself never treats anyone kindly.

So that is why this was a great week. Not to mention Lynn. I will be writing another special blog 100% dedicated to Lynn, but I would just like all of you to know that Lynn rocks. I've TOTALLY got her on my side. So when Jean pulls her in and tries to pump information from her Lynn is just going to talk about how unhappy I am due to my weight. She's going to say, "Yeah, I know she's really depressed that none of her clothes fit her anymore. But she tells me that she can't stop buying Krispy Kremes." That's what I tell myself so that if I start to poke out a little more in February, I think the KK comment will buy me at least another 2 months.

So, is it just me, or do you agree with me that it's illegal to tell someone that they can't get pregnant? I mean, I think this is like the 35th illegal thing she's done to me at my job. Here are a few of the other things she's done that i'm pretty sure are illegal:
-Told me I couldn't wear a certain article of clothing because I was too fat to wear it.
-Told me that my co-worker COULD wear that same article of clothing because she's skinny
-Refused to allow me to have my vacation time after I earned the days. Then changed the vacation day policy so that I would never be allowed to have those days.
-Also changed the office policy so that employees are only given 2 sick days a year, and they cannot possibly earn more days.
-Given me private financial information about other employees in the office
-Told me that I would get a certain percentage on every sale that I facilitated, and then as soon as I made that sale, she then changed the percentage I would earn.
-No written maternity leave & return policy, leading me to believe that pregnant women are either not wanted in her office, or are expected to quit or be fired after they have children.

I would not like my friends to try to remember other things that she's done. Like someone who's been in an abusive relationship, I think I've blocked out tons of the things she's done. So please help me remember. THANKS!

P.S. Considering that I got NO comments about my dog blog, I'll have to assume that no one gets as much joy out of seeing my dog warm her buns up in front of the fire as I do. I'll keep my dog buns warming blogs to myself