Milk Duds

I am trying really hard to get my boobs under control. I know all my devoted readers have heard about my milk production struggles. (If you don't want to read the words "nipple," "feedings," "boobs" or "leaking" then you should stop reading right now.) My mom has been in town for the last couple of weeks, and she told me last week that I only have 2 more weeks to go! I usually don't listen to my mom when it comes to life suggestions, but whatever she says about my boobs, I will take as gospel law.

Anyway, she said that magically around 6 weeks, my boobs will regulate themselves. We were talking about my two different milk cups that I have, and I told her that I like her 25 year old orange cups for night time, when I had to go longer between feedings. And then I would wear the newer clear plastic ones when I had to go out in public. (The newer ones don't leak when I bend over, you see)

But she said that she thinks the time is coming close where I won't need them anymore. And she thought that maybe wearing them was training my body to make MORE milk in these last few weeks. So she suggested that maybe it might be time to try just my pads. (I bought a package of 6 washable, reusable pads back when I was delusional enough to think that a pad would be enough for me.) So I pulled them out and took them for a test drive.

They rock!!! I mean, I'm not 100% leak free, but I'm getting close!! Also, because I don't have a cup of liquid placed precariously on my chest, I don't run the risk of it popping open in the night and covering me with liquid. That's actually where most of my leaking takes place:from the cups leaking or their seal breaking in the night. (The funny thing is that as I type this, I'm slowing springing a small leak and covering my garment top.)

Also, I think that a combination of a tight bra and the nursing pads pressing against my boobs makes them not leak so badly. I went all day the first day without leaking out. And the same for the second day, until about 7 pm when I went to go see Lynn. And I started leaking right in front of her. Cause THAT'S not embarrassing or anything. Luckily her husband wasn't there. That would've been really bad. But he's really nice, so even if he were there he would've been ok with it.

And also today!! I made it all through church with no leaks! I think that I was afraid to use the pads becuase I have that one flat nipple and I was afraid the pads would flatten it out even more. Well, it does! But luckily my Monkey Face has got a good hold on this feeding thing and she doesn't need as much help as before.

Other positives: I have also discovered the joy of nursing while laying in bed!! I know many of you will say that I'm crazy for not doing it before. But the truth is that with my rock hard boobs, it was nearly impossible for her to latch on unless I was shoving the nipple into her mouth and then holding her head there from the back. But like I said, the fact that she's getting so good at her feedings means more freedom for me.

So I pull her into bed, and nurse her, and then put her back in her bed. Oh man, It's so nice. Just laying on your side, head propped up, baby snuggling and eating. Nearly falling asleep yourself. I just love it. This must be what people mean when they say motherhood rocks.

Speaking of babies, I think that by this time I should have some sort of "ownership" of my baby. I don't know why, but it STILL doesn't feel like she's my baby. Like I'm just babysitting for someone and the really mother will come and pick her up. Like sometimes when she cries, I look around to pass her off to someone, and then I realize that it's me!! I'm the one that probably can stop her crying the fastest. It's just so weird. I'm starting to wonder about it. . .

But something funny happened today in church. I went to the mother's lounge (Which really REALLY stunk like dirty diapers. Why is that? So unhappy for a mother to "relax" in a room scented strongly of poop and pee) Anyway, my left side was super full, so much that it was spraying a steady stream of uncontrolled milk all over my baby's face. She couldn't drink it up fast enough and kept pulling away to choke and cough because she was drinking too fast. Well, mommy was bad, and she tried to get her little girl to eat. And eat and eat. (My boob was REALLY full) and Evita acquiesced.

But I should've known better. She pulled away and I rolled her on her back on top my legs. I was slowly rocking her and she turned her head away from me and then she vomited. And I'm not talking about a little vomit. I'm talking almost 2 cups of liquid shooting out my baby with enough force to go a great distance. What was the distance? Nearly TWO FEET!! I kid you not. I should've taken a picture, but I was covered in vomit!!

I couldn't believe it was so much. And I'm SOOO happy she turned her head away from me the 2 seconds before she boomeranged it out of herself. Can you imagine if she had splashed me with all that stuff? I could've been a yucky sticky mess for the last hour of church. I'm also happy that she relieved the pressure on my left boob. Ahh, mommy loves her little girl.

Ok, I need to go to be now. But tomorrow I'll talk about our little girls' first day at the water park. I got her the CUTEST suit.

Flight of the Conchords-Jenny

So Reagan posted a blog with a great song by Flight of the Conchords called "It's Business Time". Ever since then Marcelo and I have been quoting it nonstop. And then my TiVo did a great thing and pulled off of Comedy Central their 30 minute special. (I need to write a whole blog on how much I love my TiVo)

Anyway, this song was on the special.



Marcelo and I have been saying, "What a hilarious misunderstanding" for days now. I bet you will too.

Hilarious

I know I've blogged about Eric D. Snider before. He used to write for BYU back in the day (11 years ago is when I started reading his work) Anyway, he's my all time favorite person to read.

He's also a spot on movie critic. No matter if he likes a movie or hates it, he's always really fair to the purpose of the movie. Like if' it's a comedy, and it's not funny, well, he's going to point that out. If the movie does a really crappy job of telling the story, or jumps around too much, he doesn't let that go. And even if he hates a movie, he usually finds something good to say about it so you know that if you usually like those kinds of movies, then you'll probably like it.

So while at his website, I read through about a blog he recently found. The link is found here.

I hope you enjoy this blog titled "Seriously So Blessed!"

Her Favorite Thing

I forgot to write and post the picture of her absolute favorite thing: Laying with her head below the rest of her body. Come take a look:


Yeah, she's asleep there! She could lay like this at all hours. Man, I love her.

Nighty Night!

One Month Old

Today Evelyn is 1 month old. I can't believe it's gone by so fast. Here are some pictures I've recently taken. These first ones are her attempting to sit up with the use of the Boppy:















I give that attempt a 6 out of 10.

This is a shot of her awesome spiky hair:















I have a rooster for a child!! I think I should change her name from "Monkey Face" to "Rooster Head". Freaking beautiful baby.

And this is me, also celebrating her one month birthday. As you can see I can't CONTAIN myself:


I want to put a sign on this that says: "If you are a member of the Speer/Johnson heritage, your can look forward to this when you have a child." (I actually said that to Julie. I was like "However crazy mom and her family is when it comes to their hippie ways, you MUST listen to them when they talk about your boobs. They know about the boobs.") And now you all know why I never leave the house.


And this is the little girl celebrating her birthday today:
Just my little lima bean. She looks so good, I want to gobble her up.















Gawl!! She looks so sweaty!! "And I was a swarthy 6 year old with sideburns." (Name that movie?) Arrrgh!!! SHE TOTALLY IS!!!!

So finally, here are some fun facts about my girl:

Likes:
Eating
Sleeping
BATH TIME!
Sucking her hand
Watching the Euro Cup 2008 with daddy and rooting for Germany
Sleeping on her belly (which has caused many fights between mommy and daddy)
Playing with her tongue in her mouth
Throwing up on mom
Peeing while mom changes her diaper JUST at the moment when she has taken off her diaper and mom is totally unprotected

Dislikes:
Waiting for food
Having a burp in her belly and not being able to get it up
When mommy drops a dish in the kitchen. Don't you know she's trying to sleep, mommy?
Raya licking her face
Mom trying to clean her armpits and neck fat rolls during bath time.

So, that's it!! Happy Birthday Monkey Face! Here's some cake. Enjoy.

More Cheesecake and Jellybeans

Krista reminded me that it's time to update my "Cheesecake and Jellybean" segment. Oh man, I had some great cheesecake at Tucano's the other day! It was classic cheesecake with a raspberry topping and drizzled with a white chocolate sauce. UGGGH!!! It makes my nipples tingle even now as I think about it. But maybe that's just from the milk engorgement. Hmmm. . .

So with that awesome image in your mind, here I go with my next installment of "Cheesecake and Jellybeans"

Cheesecake:
Watching "Flip This House" with Marcelo on the A&E channel. (Not to be confused with "Flip THAT House" on the TLC channel). Our favorite is the Armando Montelango corporation. I think we first got hooked on him because his name is ARMANDO and his wife is VERONICA. Are there any cooler names then that? And they speak Spanish half the time!

Armando doesn't take any crap from anyone, and he's known to come with some crazy low budgets and hold his people to it. When you watch his show, and then you watch the other shows with novice flippers, it's just so freaking obvious that he's a professional. And that's why he's able to make tons of money. He doesn't waste money where it won't make him money, and he rarely goes for those high upgrades like granite counter tops and jacuzzi tubs. He just makes great houses for cheap. And he's a millionaire because of it.

We LOVE watching this show together. I mean, there are several shows that we will watch together, but usually one is always asking the other one to fast forward to move it along. But not this show! We sit and watch and usually laugh our butts off!! Like today, Armando was showing everyone how "sound" the diving board was on the pool, and after 2 bounces, the bolts snapped and he tumbled into the pool. The pool was a nice black/green color and had dead birds/frogs in it. He got out of the pool, and immediately threw up. Marcelo and I were HOWLING with laughter. (I startled the baby who was in my arms) Someone got a hose and started hosing him off. But not before someone accurately commented that he stunk. Oh man, this show rocks. And I love watching it with my husband.

Jellybean:
Hearing gossip that my job still talks about me and blames things on me. Things that aren't my fault. Things that I didn't do, or even know about. Things that were done WHILE I WAS OUT OF TOWN, I'm still being blamed for them. It's like that joke: "What's the difference between a lawyer and a hooker? A hooker will stop screwing you when you are dead." I feel the same way about my job. They have to keep slandering you after you are gone, when there is no way you can stand up for yourself. Oh well. Let em go! I'll just snuggle with my little girl and gloat about the fact that I'll never be their butt munch ever again.

Cheesecake:
My beautiful baby is so freaking cute and we had a great time at the lake yesterday. Well, mostly a good time. I brought Raya cause my mom had taken her the last time they went to the lake, and she made it sound like we had our own private area where Raya could run around and not bother others. NOT TRUE. So I was stressed out trying to keep her on the leash and close by, but not right on top of us cause she would be kicking dirt and sand into the food. (Maybe this should be a Jellybean item) Anyway, I didn't get to enjoy it too much because of the dog stress.

But other than that it was great!! We sat under a canopy and watched everyone swim. I didn't bring my bathing suit, so I didn't even get in the water. Not that I wanted to get in the water. It's quite dirty and smelly and I didn't want to get myself or my little girl into that festering cesspool of gnats and dead vermin. I'm not joking about that. Right when we left, I noticed a dead animal no less than 15 feet away from our camp. GROSS! Utah lake is not sanitary.

However, the lake was fun, the weather was great and we all stayed out of the sun. So it was a great time.

Cheesecake:
My daughter slept for SIX HOURS IN A ROW last night!! What did I do to get so lucky? She slept from 11:3o pm to 5:40 am.

Jellybean:
At 5:00 am, a good 40 minutes before she woke up, I am awakened by my right boob pulsating. It's literally throbbing with pain and I just sit there for 40 minutes willing my child to wake up. She's dead still and silent. When she makes even the SLIGHTEST movement, I pounce and jump on her and jostle her to wake her up all the way. Luckily she does and she helps mommy out.

Why are my boobs so big? Why do I make so much milk? Why can't I just wear regular bras and not wake up in a puddle of my my own sticky, sour smelling, fabric stiffening mess at all hours of the night? Again, I guess it's better then making NO milk. But I really wish it would just hurry up and "regulate" itself like everyone says it will. In the meantime, I'm just WAITING with swollen boobs.

Final Cheesecake Items:
My baby
Being able to breastfeed, and the fact that my baby really is getting good at it.
Drinking ice water from the big plastic mug with a straw that they gave me in the hospital
My baby's curly hair
The roses blooming in my backyard
Our upcoming family reunion at Lake Powell in 3 weeks

Final Jellybean items:
Swollen boobs
Smelling like rotten milk 100% of the time
Having to move this week from my awesome 2800 square foot house to a 600 square apt. This is NOT a good idea, I'm sure I'm going to regret it.
The fact that Marcelo might not go to the family reunion because of his school. What, he can't miss ONE day? Well, you try to convince him.
My horrible gas. Man, will my bowels EVER be normal again?
And finally: Wanting to go out and do things but not wanting to expose everyone to my gas, boobs and sour milk smell.

So if you are wondering why I leave the house anymore, now you know. That and the fact that I'm never wearing anything else besides my underwear. I've learned that the less clothes you wear, the less you smell like sour milk. And you can take that to the bank.

"That Would Be Nice"

Whenever I ask Marcelo if he wants me to make him a certain thing for breakfast or dinner, he always responds, "That would be nice." I don't know why, but it makes me laugh every time. I'll say "Do you want bacon, eggs and toast for breakfast?" and he says, "That would be nice." Why is that so funny to me?

Maybe because it's so unexpected. It's not just an outright "yes" or even a more casual "yeah." It's quite formal and almost thankful. It's like he's expressing gratitude before he even receives the food. Sometimes I wonder if he's translating something directly from Spanish and that's why it sounds so funny: Because it's so formal.

In Ecuador, when you would ask someone if they wanted you to help them, or give them something, they would respond, "No seas maldito" which LITERALLY translates to "Don't be damned." I am not kidding you!! That is the literal translation!! So you can understand why I didn't understand it the first time I heard it. I remember being with Judd and we went over to a new member's house. We were giving her reading lessons. (One day I'm going to write a blog about giving reading lessons in Ecuador. I promise I'll make you cry) Anyway, when she got to the door, we realized she didn't look too good, so we asked her what was wrong. She said her belly had been hurting her all day, and she didn't know why.

We asked her if we could do anything to help her, like the laundry or feeding her kids. And she says, "No seas maldito." Judd and I had NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANT!! We just like stood there looking at her. Then she started talking about her belly again and we asked again if we could help and she said again, "No seas maldito." If memory serves me right, she had to say it one more time before one of us turned to the other one and said, "I think that means yes." I don't rememer who finally figured it out, but we were really glad we did. We felt like idiots for a while there. And even later on when we realized she had to say it THREE times to get us to understand.

Anyway, this post is about Marcelo and the funny things HE says. When he says, "That would be nice" it makes me smile and realize that I have a very polite husband. You'd better believe that he's going to teach our children to say, "Si, Senor" and "Si, Senora" to adults. So this post is a belated Father's Day homage.

See, I needed to wait until I had some good pictures of him and Evita. And here are some of them:

The first one is a little dark, but he didn't know I was taking it, so he's totally doing this naturally. And I love the serene look on Evita's face. She LOVES being held by her father.

And this look on Evi's face makes me love both of them so much. Notice the Boppy under Marcelo. He loves using it to hold her up. And she loves it too.

And here they are watching some more TV. Usually Marcelo holds her right when he comes home and is watching TV. Hence lots of couch shots.































My two favorite pictures are the one of her screaming and then seeing how Marcelo calmed her down by talking to her (as shown in the next frame). And the other favorite is of him holding her head by the sides. Like his hands are the bubble wrap around her precious melon head.

Marcelo is such a great dad. He HATES changing diapers, but he'll do it whenever I ask him. He'll also walk the floor with her for hours at a time singing to her and bouncing her around to put her to sleep or to just soothe her. Thursday night he actually walked around with her for 45 minutes while I went to sleep and slept soundly from 10 pm to 3 am. I had no idea he did this until the next morning he told me about it.

He claims that he "knows her" better than I do. And sometimes I think he might be right!! For some reason she'll scream her head off with me, but daddy can make her hush right up. I think it's because he sings hymns to her. Her favorite is "How Firm A Foundation" and "Lord Dismiss Us With Thy Blessing" (The latter is a VERY popular hymn in Ecuador. I knew both verses by heart so if given the opportunity to pick a song for district meeting, this was always my choice. Also, the song has my husband's name in it, so I would sing it when I was missing him). I love to hear him sing to her. He says I need to sing to her more. I think he might be right, but it's hard singing to her at 3 am when all I really want to be doing is sleeping. And I don't think my voice is as good as his for soothing purposes.

Marcelo is a great example of what I should be doing almost always. He's so strong, with such a strong will. He's a great example to me of hard work and dedication and just sheer desire. I work hard every day to make him proud of me. I love my husband. He's a great father, and a great man. Happy Father's Day Marcelo!