I should be at the gym right now. However I just ate some chicken Alfredo, so I really don't have any desire to go to the gym and have girls with butt-writing sweats and spiky-haired boys with low IQ's to stare at me when I walk in with my smelly super-tight pants (I haven't done laundry in a while). And I don't think I can do it when I've just ate that Alfredo.
So instead I've decided to tell you all about my boy crazy days in Elementary school and Jr High. I've been boy crazy for as long as I can remember. By the time I was in Eureka, however, I realized that i probably wasn't going to happen, so I gave it up. But elementary school? Ohh Man!!! I was the biggest boy crazy freak.
And it was always the WEIRDEST guys I would go for. I don't know why. Back in like 1st through 4th grade, it was Joseph Hilton. He was such the nerd. He was smart, and skinny. He had brown hair and a slight lisp. We were in all the advanced "smarty pants" classes together. Actually, when we were in the 2nd grade we both TESTED for the smarty pants classes together. (I remember them putting us in this little room and it was just him and me in there. V. romantic)
Not only that, we took piano lessons from the same teacher. Oh!! And I won the spelling bee for my class in the 6th grade, and he got second place. But I forgot to tell my mom that I won, and so I went to piano lessons like normal on Thursday morning and when I got to school they told me that they were having the bee without me. And that Joseph had taken my place because I wasn't there. So yeah, we were basically MFEO.
I don't know why, but he didn't notice me. I think he thought I was strange. I was just very shy, so I mostly admired him from afar. I don't remember ever being overtly obvious about the fact that I liked him, but I really did for many many years. I think he suspected it near the end. And I KNOW he knew it after a little stunt that Monica and Ashley pulled in Mrs. McNeil's class in the 4th grade.
See, they were in charge of this activity day, and they had all these little games planned for the students and for some of them they partnered us up. And they partnered the girls with the boys that they liked!! And it was SOOO obvious which girls liked which boys. I mean, Ashley Baker was partnered with her boyfriend, and Tara Tidwell was partnered with the boy who would later become her boyfriend and there Joseph Hilton and I were, partnered together. So he totally knew that he was being put with me because I liked him. Oh, the humiliation. I wanted to die! I wanted him to like me, but I didn't want him to KNOW that I liked him which could lead to possible rejection!! Curse you Monica/Ashely!!
It wasn't too soon after that that I stopped liking him. Who did I move on to? Why Joseph's good friend, Edward Dillion! Edward was everything that Joseph wasn't: He was cool, and smart mouthed and had semi-jacked up teeth. He was confident and sharp witted and cruel sometimes. He didn't give a *$&@ about anything. But he wasn't a dummy. He was ALSO in the smarty pants classes with us and he did very well. (we spent about 2-4 hours every day in those classes. So that's why all of my crushes came from them. Also all of my friends. Basically if you are a good friend of mine, you should be aware that you are intelligent. I tend to bond best with intelligent people. So if you are reading this, CONGRATS ON YOUR IQ!!)
Anyway, my crush on Edward only lasted 2 years until Jr High hit. Then there were so many boys I didn't know what to do with myself. I would change crushes like I would change underwear. (AKA every 3 days) Sometimes it was just too much and my head nearly exploded trying to read little cues and find out the hidden meanings in words and trying to decipher if what he just said means what I THINK it means, and on and on worlds without end. I think 7th grade was my favorite year ever. Boys boys BOYS.
And then several things happened to quickly break my of my boy addiction:
1) I moved to a new state and a new school to start the 8th grade.
2) I hit puberty and became awkward what with the boobs and the instant 30 pounds that somehow packed on my thighs overnight
3) I got some new friends and none of them cared about boys. We never talked about boys or thought about boys
4) I entered my "bun phase". What is that? you ask. Well, just when I moved to a new town, hit puberty, and started a new junior high school. I decided RIGHT THEN was the time to start wearing my hair in a bun EVERY SINGLE DAY. I'm not talking a low loose bun. I'm talking a slicked sides, roll of hair on top of the head, looking like I was wearing a doughnut hat type of bun. Basically, I looked like a 12 year old librarian without the tweed dress suit who was ready to yell at you for talking in the library.
5) Oh, and finally, all the boys smoked weed. I don't crush on boys that smell like hemp all the time.
I like to think that my last and final crush was on my husband. But every once in a while I will think about Edward or Joseph and once again I will be 8 crushing on the cool smart kid across the room. *sigh*
Monday, December 8, 2008
Putting off What I Should be Doing
Posted by Ali at 8:54 PM
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7 comments:
OK, it is F R E A K I N G me out that you were boy crazy in elementary school! I have two boys in elementary school!!!! It doesn't help that Matthew told me he was watching Noah "flirt" with the girls at Abigail's birthday party. I am SO not ready for this!
OH yeah, btw, it's me, Lisa not Joel that made the comment....stupid blogger.com
bun comment---hilarious. especially the "12 year old librarian" addition. i laughed out loud, which is dangerous since Darby barely fell asleep after 2 HOURS of putting her back in her bed (toddler bed hell). did you ever think that maybe that nerdy boy was too nerdy to admit that he liked you, too? i'm sure he did and maybe he was afraid of rejection. if he was as dashing as you described him to be, i'm sure rejection wasn't a far-fetched fear. oh, the bun. that is hilarious. i don't talk about my awkward years. i try to forget them and keep them from Frankie's attention. of course, Daddy gave us a video of Christmas when i was 14. i can't bring myself to destroy it, but i keep it in a very safe, secret place at all times. i was the ugliest teenager in the history of history. my awkward phase barely ended, like, 2 months ago. alright, that's not true. i'm still in my awkward phase. that bra comment on Haley's blog was so funny. i couldn't remember what you were talking about and then it struck my memory like a photo. oh, i guess it was a photo. anyway, good times.
Hil, I've seen that video of yours. Actually I've seen quite a few videos of the young Judd years.
There's one with Nate jumping out from behind a door on Christmas morning with a dew (?) rag and parachute pants on. I can't remember what he said but I know I laughed and rewound it about 10 times.
Bing, back to you, sorry. As I was reading you memories, I was thinking about my crushes throughout the years. Gross, that's why you should wait until you're older to marry. I remember the guy I like when I was 18. Not good, I would probably have 5 kids by now and knocked up with twins. He's have a nasty potbelly and we'd be living in a trailer looking forward to our monthly date at Walmart.
Moral of the story: DON'T GET MARRIED WHEN YOU'RE 18!!
I think that everyone needs to see that video of "hil" Judd. I have seen very few pictures of her as a child, and let me tell you, she was beautiful and not at all scary. Not even during the "Greenpeace, Save the Whales" stage, nor the "Goth with LOTS of black eyeliner and mascara" phase.
And Haley, I totally agree with you. No one ever benefited from getting married when they were 18. They may SAY they have had a great life, but you know they secretly are sad that they missed out on so many life experiences.
Haley, first of all i am HORRIFIED that you have seen that video and please tell Bing (whose comments are very gracious and optimistic---thank you) how damn ugly i was as a young teenager. it was not good. i'm talking braces, tiny braids, striped tights and converse. (shudder) why did my family allow me to leave the house? and they claim that they love me... hey---i still wear lots of black eyeliner and mascara! i think it makes me look classy :). and Bing, how dare you bring up the goth (this was the pre "goth" era, however) phase! i was talking to Dustin about that a hile back and i said, "Dustin, we don't talk about that hillary. THAT Hillary is dead, just like she always wanted to be." we laughed and laughed at my expense. no, my dearest Bing,u nithat video is for the worms. living eyes shall ever see it again. i will watch it during my judgement and even those on high will turn their heads away from the screen and stifle their giggles. we'll all be embarrassed for me together. when i think about the guys i've dated, i want to vomit. i went slumming right up until my last boyfriend, and i married that kid as fast as i could. i had seen the light and could not go back to the ghetto of filthy trash i had grown so accustomed to dating. oh, the good ol' days!
Okay, Judd OFFICIALLY NEEDS A BLOG if only just for some of these videos and pictures!!
I also find it weird that you were horning for guys in elementary school!! I remember there was an Eric and an Ariel in elementary school who were "going together". My friends and I would make fun of them because they would sit alone at lunch and not have anything to talk about. They "broke up".
THE BUN! I would like to see some pictures of the bun, please!
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