Familia Loor

Work Party and an Owie

2011-12-10T09:01:00.005-07:00

WARNING!! GOREY PICTURE BELOW!!

On Wednesday, we had a work party for being held at Marcelo's bosses' house. I was super excited until I realized I had nothing to wear. For all of you women who have the baby fat just MELT off of you while you are breastfeeding, I HATE YOU. You know, those women who get progressively more emaciated as their children plump like little kernels of corn? Yeah, those are the women I am talking about. My sister in law is one of them. After 3 months of feeding her babies, her pants hang off her now non-existent hips. She told me that she is even skinnier than when she was in high school. Where as I have started running and cutting back on my eating and it is making no difference at all. IT IS NOT FAIR.

Ok, enough about that for now. The point was that I was going to a Christmas Party and I had noting to wear.

I knew I would have to worry about that soon, but first I needed to make some cookies. I decided to use my mom's oven because it is about 1000 times better than mine. As I was waiting for the last batch of cookies to come out, Bibi decided to dance around while singing "I know you" from Sleeping Beauty. She was really spinning and having fun and then she got too dizzy and lost her balance. She fell and hit the side of her head on the TV stand.

I didn't think anything of it, until she crawled on my lap and I saw the blood. A Lot of blood from a long gash by her ear. My mom and I quickly decided that she would watch Seba and I would take Evi to the Doctor (which is only 5 min away, luckily). My pediatrician said I could see the nurse practitioner immediately if I came now, and so it was decided.

I thought he would say, "just a bandage will be fine" and I would feel silly for over-reacting. That is what I expected. I did NOT expect six stitches! Which is what she got.

Getting them in her, however, was not very easy. She is a super strong 3 and a half year old. It took 4 of us to hold her down so the doctor could stitch. And she screamed the whole time. Not just screaming, but spitting, scratching, and trying to move her head the whole time. After it was over, we had doctor after doctor come in the room and come to see the kid that was making all that racket!

She got 3 stickers and a sucker for her troubles and she went home and got a well deserved nap.

And then 2 hours later, Husband and I got a well deserved break and went to an amazing party. They had food brought in from Tucanos, they had lots of games and Marcelo got his first experience at playing the "white elephant" game. He caught on very quickly that the whole fun was stealing gifts, and he made himself quite known as being the "gift stealer". And then we played a game that involved dice, a gift wrapped 4 times, and using gloved hands to open it. It was crazy suspenseful, and so much fun to play and watch. Marcelo and I decided that for sure we are going to play it next time we have a family reunion.

We got some awesome white elephant gifts, and also some crappy ones. But that's the way it works, right? It was a great night and then we got to come home to this.

How blessed are we?

Halloween

2011-12-08T08:12:00.011-07:00

Last year I didn't plan a cute costume and I regretted it. But as soon as we got home from trick-or-treating last year, I made a decision: Evi would go as Belle next year and Raya would be the Beast. When I told Marcelo the plan he smiled and said that would be cute, so it was decided.

Now, the thinking behind choosing the blue "peasant" outfit instead of the more well known "gold ball gown" is very simple: IT IS COLD IN UTAH IN OCTOBER!! The gold gown doesn't allow for many layers or a jacket if you want to see the costume. But the blue gold gown can be worn with pants under it to keep her warm and layers of shirts under the blouse if needed. And since I was making it, I wanted to make something I liked.

That's right, I sewed her whole dress, and I think it looked awesome!

Maybe it's just the hair that really makes the difference.

What a ferocious Beast! Look at him roar!

We went to the ward party the Saturday before Halloween, and then we went Trick-or-Treating in our old neighborhood on the 31st. I don't know how to top this one next year! She is just too cute!

Photo Shoot

2011-11-24T12:39:00.000-07:00

My friend and neighbor Amy started a photo business. She is really good, and she gave us a free photo shoot to build up her portfolio. Sebastian was just a week or so old, so he wasn't so happy about some of the positions he had to go into. But they turned out pretty good, right?

And of course, Bibi couldn't let the spotlight be taken from her for a second. She jumped in while I was feeding the baby. For the fact that I didn't do her hair or pick out cute clothes or even take the gum out of her mouth, I think she looks amazing.

You don't have to agree with me. But you can if you want!

(If you want Amy to take awesome pictures for you, go to her website: http://amymonroyphotography.blogspot.com)

The New Baby

2011-11-21T09:37:00.003-07:00

Sorry this took so long. I stopped having excuses about a week ago, and then I was just stalling. I don't know why I kept putting it off. I guess I was afraid and i didn't want people to know how weak I am. (Lame, I know) But I need to just get over myself and do it.

And I really want to get back in the habit of blogging. Not like anyone cares about blogs anymore, what with the Twitter and the Facebook and the texting. But I enjoy reading the blogs of others, so I figure SOMEONE might read this. So here it goes.

It is official: I have a son. His arrival was at the perfect time, yet didn't go quite as I had hoped.
Here's what happened:

Wednesday morning September 14th, (My official due date) I woke up to find that my baby had dropped. I knew it had dropped, because when I put my hand high up on my belly, he was missing! The hard bump of his bum that was usually right under my sternum was noticeably lower. When Marcelo came home, I asked him if he agreed. He asked me to turn to the side and said, “OH YEAH!! You are much lower! Holy crap, how did that happen?” I told him: “Magic!” So things were progressing towards a delivery, I was sure.

Thursday afternoon, I started to feel weird. I don't know when I started noticing my braxton hicks contractions more, but I did. And they just felt weird. I kind of felt nauseated and sweaty and just off. And I was pretty sure the baby was coming. Around 4 in the afternoon, I sent a text to my mom saying that I was feeling different, and that she should probably clear her schedule for the next day or two. She was thrilled because she had just finished her last class for the weekend and could spend all her time with me now!

Nothing big happened that night. I had more contractions, and was 100% sure the baby would be arriving in the next 24 hours. And so what did Marcelo do? He went to a soccer game. (with my blessing, of course) If you will remember from the birth of our FIRST child, he did exactly the same thing. Except the first time I was actually in the hospital being induced when he went to his game. AGAIN, I must stress that I fully 100% gave him my blessing to go to those games. Both times. I mean, I told him to keep his phone close to him, but I knew that even if things moved very quickly, I would at least have an hour of notice to give him to get to the hospital. And since his games are only about 15 minutes away, I knew we would be fine.

He told me that I should ask my mom to come over and stay with us just in case something happened while he was at his game. I was way ahead of him (and so was my mom for that matter). She came over and was making a little camp for herself on the couch. I told her that I didn’t think anything would be happening in the night but she was welcome to stay and sleep on our couch if she wanted.

She wanted.

By the time I went to bed, I knew that I was in labor. Contractions were coming at semi-regular intervals, but not really close together. And they were getting stronger, more uncomfortable. I was happy that my suspicions were correct and I was seriously jazzed to have this baby.

I actually got to sleep, even with the contractions. I put down a towel because I was kind of afraid of my water breaking all over our bed and us having to buy a new mattress. We could NOT afford that. It didn’t happen, though. I did, however, get awakened several times in the night by the need to pee/contractions. I mean, the fact that I could sleep at all was awesome to me, and I was even more pumped for the baby and the labor because I felt like I was well rested and ready. I was in great spirits.

So when the day finally got started, my mom and I made a game plan. Marcelo had to run to work up in Lindon for a few hours to finish a job and I told him to go, but to keep his phone close and on at all times. I could tell that this baby was still at least 6 hours away, so I didn’t feel badly about him going. Plus, the hospital is less than 10 min from Lindon, so he could make it there quick if he needed.

I told mom that I would love to run some errands. She had some things to do, and eventually we needed to drop Evi off at her my brother’s house so that she could be babysat during the birth. So that is what we did! We went to Kmart because I needed to buy some toilet paper, and we went to Comcast because we both needed to change out some equipment. We then went and vacuumed out my car while we waited for Costco to open. And then we went to Costco for other assorted essentials. Yup, all that while I was in labor. I was really hoping that my water would break at some time with all the bending and walking and carrying of Evi and lifting of things into my car. But no luck.

Contractions were definitely progressing. But at the same time, they weren’t. At some time around 11, we decided to use a stopwatch to time them. They were about 3 or 5 min apart and lasting 45 seconds or so. But when I would sit down in the car, they would go away for 7 or 10 min. So they weren’t consistently on schedule and that upset me because I wasn't as close as I wanted to be before I checked into the hospital. But we finally dropped Bibi off and headed to the hospital around 11:45.

I got strapped into the monitor and then the nurse came to check my progress to see how dilated I was. Which was horrifically painful. She was like digging inside and rubbing her fingers back and forth horizontally and I was laughing because it was so painful. And when she left I told my mom what she did and my mom said “She was trying to break your water” which then made total sense. Because SERIOUSLY, she was working hard up there. I was happy to learn that I was at a 5. At least it wasn't a 3, right? So I was pumped. Because last time it only took a few hours to get from a 5 to a 10, and I was sure that this was happening soon.

I called Marcelo and told him the progress, and told him to come down to the hospital. He said he was on his way (which, actually meant he would get there 2 and a half hours later, after he got lunch. The punk.) I got a room and got ready to have a baby naturally! My sister in law had let me borrow her exercise ball (to be used as a birthing ball) and I was excited for that. My doctor told me that he was really busy that day so he was going to go deliver a baby by C-section, and then he would come back and break my water.

I was actually excited for my water to be broken, I was SURE things would be moving FAST after that. The last time my water was broken it was about 2 hours till I had a baby. As I waited for him to come back, I walked around and was able to breathe and relax during the contractions. I was feeling really good and really happy and just pumped.

The doctor came in and broke my water and told me that my baby was not low at all and that there was meconium in the water. And that was my first clue that things might not be happening the way I had planned. The meconium really worried me (for those who don’t know, meconium is when the baby goes poop for the first time in utero. It isn’t to serious, unless the baby breathes in that poop water with his first breaths. Then he can get an infection). Like I said, the news about meconium really upset me, but something worried me more: the fact that the baby wasn’t low. His head wasn't pushed up against my cervix yet, and I knew labor wouldn’t progress quickly and the most efficiently unless that baby’s head was pushing down it.

The doctor suggested an “amnio –infusion” which is a fancy way to say “uterus transmission flush”. They put a tube up inside your uterus and try to flush out that poo water. This will minimize the risk of poo inhalation. This made me feel more comfortable. But what took my worry up to another level was when the nurse said “wow, that tube went in without any problem. That baby really is high.” AAAAAAAGGHHHHH!!

The best part of the amnio-infusion is that you get to feel like your water is breaking over and over again. The worst part is that you have to wear a towel diaper or you will be gushing fluid out everywhere. And if you decide to stand up to endure some contractions (and hopefully convince your baby to drop down) you will gush on the floor. It’s like peeing your pants with every contraction. Highly recommended.

So I settled in for my labor. I was doing pretty good, if I do say so. I mean, I was focusing on one place when the contractions came. Mom was rubbing my back providing good counter pressure. It was all good. And then the DR came in and decided to check me. Hours had gone by, I was sure I was progressing well. But I wasn't. I was only a 6. Maybe close to a 7, but not more than that. I was upset, but understanding.

It was around this time that the Dr said that he didn’t like how the baby was reacting during contractions. He wanted to do an internal monitor (stuck to the baby’s head) so they could really see how the baby was reacting with each contraction. So I got that. (with another tube/wire going up inside. AWESOME) Another hour passes. It was a rough hour. I get checked again. I am just barely at a 7. I am upset.

The Doctor says that shortly he wants to start pitocin. Because of the way the baby is reacting to the contractions and because of the meconium. He wants the contractions DOUBLE strength from what they are now so the baby will really start moving down. You should know that at this point I was in despair. I had tried almost every position. The kneeling, the ball, standing, sitting, everything. The nurse lady actually made my bed into like a little chair and when I was sitting and a contraction came, Marcelo would push back on my knees which provided some counter pressure and was actually nice. For about 20 min. Then I had to try something new. I was starting to freak out.

At around 3:45 the Doctor comes in and checks me again and I am still a 7, no progression. I lost it. (actually, I am having a hard time writing this right now, because I am still so upset about everything that happened from this point on) The doctor REALLY REALLY didn’t like how the baby was reacting, and he wanted pitocin in within the next 20 min. I (for some reason) said to myself that if I had pitocin, I HAD to have the epidural. I don’t know why I did that. Looking back, I wish I hadn’t said that. I wish I would’ve held out for a little while with just the pitocin. Especially considering how fast things happened after that.

I think that is why telling this story is so hard. I feel like such a failure, like I gave up too soon. AND PLEASE DON’T SAY THAT ANY WAY A BABY GETS HERE IS FINE! I agree, my baby is here, healthy and great. But I am still super disappointed in myself and how quickly I gave up. I am allowed to feel disappointed that it didn’t happen how I wanted! I mean, if you spent 9 months training for a marathon and then walked away at mile 23, wouldn't you feel upset with yourself? That's how I look back at this, and it is incredibly sad for me.

Anyway, the anesthesiologist was called. My contractions were about every 45 to 90 seconds apart at that time, so placing it was going to be tricky. But the Dr. was amazingly fast! He did it between contractions and was just so nice to me as I was writhing on the bed. (Marcelo later told me that he couldn’t watch the needle going into my spine. Pansy). After the epidural was in and the pitocin was started I just turned onto my side and cried for the next hour. Again, I was just so disappointed in myself. That was around 4:30 pm, and I was prepared for being there a long time. I know how epidurals slow things down, and I was preparing to wait.

Well, as I lay on my side crying nonstop, things were happening in my belly. Contractions were about one tenth what they were before, but I still felt them. They were still painful, and for some reason, that was slightly comforting. All of a sudden around 5:20 or so, something happened. With the next contraction I had the strongest STRONGEST urge to poop. It was so overwhelming that it made me squirm in bed and wiggle around to fight the sensation. I said, “hey, can you get the nurse and doctor. I think something is happening. RIGHT NOW”

Mom rushes off to find the doctor while Marcelo continues to play Angry Birds. Oh, did I forget to mention that? Yeah, he was consumed with that game during my labor. He put it down when he provided counter pressure for me, but between contractions there was no pulling him from it. And after I had the epidural, there was even less for him to do. There is only so much arm rubbing you can do for your crying wife before both you and she become bored with it.

When the doctor comes in and checks me, he says. “oh you are there! Here we go!” There was another contraction and I told him “I REALLY WANT TO PUSH” and he said, “you can’t yet! I need to get respiratory in here before you deliver. Hold on, just hold on!” That was a rough couple of minutes. But I at least had my wits about me to ask for the mirror to be brought in. (for those of you who freak out at the thought of watching yourself give birth, I must say there is nothing that helped me more. Looking and seeing the effect of my pushes made me want to do those “good” pushes to make something happen. Very effective)

Finally the respiratory doctor arrived and I was told I could push. It was very fast. His head was out before I even knew it ( I did have to get cut just a little bit, but it was much less than last time). However, once his head was out and the doctor told me to stop pushing, I could see that something was wrong. The baby was not the right color. And (with the use of the mirror) I could see the cord wrapped around the neck. I then saw the doctor put his finger under the cord and try to take it off, very unsuccessfully. He actually was jerking on it, and it was not moving. He rushed for some clamps and told me “as soon as I cut this, your baby is holding his breath. Once I cut you have to make the next push be the one to get him out.” I was ready.

He clamped and cut and they rushed the baby to the respiratory doctor. Where he didn’t cry. Which FREAKED ME OUT! Seeing your baby come out blue, and with a chord super tight, being cut out of you and then not hearing him, that was really upsetting. Again, I had my wits about me and I said, “is he ok? Why isn’t he crying” and the doctor (I really do have a great doctor) said “they don’t want him to breathe yet. They want to clear out his mouth and lungs of the meconium before he takes his first breath.” At least they knew what they were doing! It was shortly after that that I heard him cry and he sounded just fine.

I also asked “It is a boy, right?” to which my doctor looked sheepish and said, “I didn’t even look!” But it was shortly confirmed to me that he was a boy. The fact that the doctor didn’t even look at that told me again how rushed they were and how time sensitive everything was. And I was super thankful that I had the strength to push the right way when it was needed.

His initial APGAR was a 3 (later upped to a 4 by the respiratory guy. Not sure why) which again, tells me how bad he was needing to get out. But his 5 min APGAR was a 9, so he recovered quickly.

After the birth, things got a little tricky because I couldn't stop throwing up. It started about 10 minutes before I delivered, and then after the delivery it was was non-stop for a couple of hours. I am pretty sure it was the pitocin that did it to me. Either that or the epidural. Because I didn't feel the need to throw up until I had them. They brought me food, which I ate, and then threw up. They brought me snacks and water which I ate, and then threw up. The nurse kept coming to offer me anti-nausea medicine, but I didn't want it. Finally she told me that she wouldn't take out my IV until I stopped throwing up. Wouldn't you know it? I was convinced. (There is nothing I hate more than that stupid IV). Finally I stopped and I started to feel better. Too bad all the food was gone. Cause I was STARVING!!

So that is it. Looking back, I don't know if it was the epidural/pitocin that made things happen so quickly and effectively. Like maybe I needed those things because of the other complications he had. But it doesn't lessen my chagrin and sadness that I wasn't able to do it the way I had dreamed/planned/hoped/wished.

So now for the good stuff. The pictures!

Here is a slide show movie for you.

And I have lots more, but they are basically all the same. And quite frankly, no one cares that much about someone else's baby. But I will pretend that you do and keep you updated on my beautiful babies.

Baby Post Coming Soon. . . I PROMISE!

2011-09-29T23:50:00.003-06:00

I swear I will type out the story of our baby's birth and post it in the next few days.

For now, you should know that he is here, he is awesome, and he is gorgeous to look at.

If you don't believe me, you need to click HERE and see a picture of him. My good friend Amy is starting a photo business and offered to do a free photo shoot of our little boy. I didn't expect them to turn out very good, because he was NOT happy about mom putting him down. (He is a little snuggler) But she must be magic because she got a shot of him where his finger was not in his eye. I don't know how she did it!

By the way, we named him Sebastian. And I think he looks like me. A little Latino me.

I like him.

More soon, I promise.

Worst mother of the year. . . .3 years running

2011-08-30T22:04:00.003-06:00

It's 9:16 pm.

My child has just run back to the bag of generic Apple Jacks to grab a handful for the 3rd time.

I am annoyed with her because I am trying to put her to bed.

And then it hits me.

My child didn't eat dinner.

FAIL, Alicia. MAJOR FAIL!

I have been told this frequently happens to children during a move, but it didn't make me feel any better.

She ate a whole quesadilla and a bowl of corn flakes after I realized she was starving. Serves her right for not telling me she was hungry!

P.S. I really don't blame my child for not telling me. Just so you know. That was a jok

America's Trezured Dolls

2011-07-02T10:17:00.001-06:00

Are you as excited as I am that "Toddlers and Tiaras" has returned? Am I the only one that gets horrible, morbid pleasure out of this show? It's so funny how delusional these women are (the mothers, of course. I do not blame their 3 and 4 yr old kids) . But you can see that the delusion started a long time ago. Like at the birth of their children. When they choose the name they will carry through life, they think, "what name can I give my child that makes it clear their mother was totally nutso?"

And they sure do deliver! Here is a partial list of names that I have written down after watching a few episodes:

Aniston
Bayleigh
Meadow
Addison (Isn't that a disease?)
Kaleigha (pronounced kind of like Kaluha, the alcoholic drink)
Jadyn
Makayla
Kayleigh
marleigh
Story
Jaigen
Makensie
Mckinley (The mom missed the boat on this one. Should've spelled it "Mckinleigh")
Kragen
Lexcia
Teeghan

Please tell me which trait do you think is the craziest:

1) Substituting a "y" for the vowel a, or i, or e for that matter! It is the most abused "almost vowel" out there!
2) Adding "leigh" to the middle or end of a name. And spelling it that way so it's "extra special"
3) A completely made up name that anyone would think is crazy.

Let me know what you think is the worst offense.

Oh, and I forgot to explain the name of this post, "America's Trezured Dolls" is actually the name of one of the pageants that is featured on the show. So, it's not just the mothers of these kids that are crazy. The pageant directors seem to be off their rocker too. Like having an "80's" theme to a pageant seems ridiculous, especially since most of these girls were born LONG after the year 2000. (most were born in 2005 or sooner). And most of the mothers were probably only 2 or 3 during the 80's! Oh, this show is just a hot mess of loveliness all around. No wonder I love it so much!

Don't forget to watch Toddlers and Tiaras! Only on TLC!!

Held Hostage

2011-07-01T08:42:00.006-06:00

So Bibbers has this new thing that she likes to do She holds me hostage by locking me out of the house and then demands a ransom to be let back in. The ransom thing is really my fault. Let me esplain.

So a few weeks ago, I had to take Raya down to go pee in the rain. If you will remember, Raya turns into a PRINCESS when it rains. The snow she deals with. But rain? OHHHHH. She'll pace by the door whining, nearly wetting herself because she doesn't want to get wet. She won't go out in the rain unless you walk by her side coaxing her the whole way. And then she goes and basically finds the part of the grass that is under the roof overhang and pees there as fast as possible so she can get back up in the dry part of the house. Like I said, princess.

So I had to walk her down. And I didn't worry about leaving Bibi alone in the house because Marcelo was in the back bedroom dozing before his soccer game. WEEEEELLLLL. Bibi decides to lock me out (with no jacket and no bra on, in the freezing hail/sleet/rain) and then LAUGH at me as I beg her to open the door. Seriously, I begged her for a full 3 minutes! I rang the doorbell. I knocked on the door. I pulled on the handle. I tried to use Raya as bait and pretend to have Raya open the door. But she just looked at me and LAUGHED OUT LOUD in a pretty clear mocking tone. And then she decided she wanted to go back and get on the computer and she was going to leave me there. (Marcelo was of course useless. He stayed comatose on the bed through the whole ordeal)

I finally got her to open the door by telling her I would give her a fruit snack pouch if she did it. Bribery,pure and simple. Well now, she has taken to "tricking" me to go outside for some reason or another and then she locks me out demanding I give her a fruit snack or a piece of gum to be let back in. Sometimes when we go down and are walking in the park, she will tell me to wait (she actually says "es-pay-ya, mami" which is pretty close to "espera") and then she will run up ahead of me and lock me out of the house.

So, as you can see, the ransom idea was mine. All due to that first situation where I was bra-less and desperate to get inside. Now she thinks that the best way to get a fruit snack is to kidnap mom for it. What a little turd.

I love her so much.

Here is a picture of her in her favorite outfit. I actually bury these close in the BOTTOM of the hamper, next to stinky towels and pairs of pee underwear. But she has a 6th sense about where they are and can find them no matter where I have put them. The good thing is that the moment they are clean, she puts them on, and they are usually dirty within the first 2 days. So then they go in the hamper and I don't have to deal with them until the next wash day.

And here is Bibi in a side hat. We took this camera with us on vacation when we left her behind and we would see it as we were flipping through our pictures and get sad just looking at it.

I need to post about our vacation, but I don't think anyone really cares about what we did each day in Hawaii. So maybe I'll just post a few pictures and some stories. Because oh, do I have the stories!

Family Updates

2011-04-17T07:38:00.006-06:00

Dear Readers:

I started this post back at the end of Feb, and I am just now getting around to posting it. So sad! I don't know why I waited so long. But here it is, and I will add more at the end:

Here are some of the going-ons around our house. Kind of like a roundup, but encompassing more time than a month:

Bibbers:
The baby's eye is all better. A few days of anti-bacterial drops and things are looking good again (pun intended). However, she got sick a few days later, and now we are dealing with the coughing/vomiting that always hits my poor girl. She coughs so hard, that she makes herself vomit. She hasn't had very much food for the past 3 days, and whatever she eats, she pukes up, usually at night. And sometimes in our bed (delightful). Or sometimes in her own bed (revolting). But the best is when she can make it to the bathroom and puke in the sink or toilet. We are very proud we taught her that one. Saves lots of time and laundry. But she always seems to coat her hair! Oh well, can't win them all.

She is super funny and so stubborn/determined. She knows what she wants and she has NO problem telling people how she's feeling. When she wants to say family prayers, she lets us know. And then if we (heaven forbid) try to prompt her, we are brusquely met with a "SHHHHHHH" sound while she puts her finger to her lips. She shushes us! And frequently. When we want her to listen to us, and she's not interested, she turns around and shushes us and goes back to what she was doing. When we try to take something away from her, she tucks whatever she has behind her back and tries to shush us. The problem with the shushing is that it's just SO DANG FUNNY. Usually Marcelo and I have to turn away and laugh before we turn back to her (serious now) and tell her that she cannot do that and continued shushing with get her in timeout. I hope I can get a picture or video of her shushing, because it really is the funniest thing you will ever see.

As for her language, she is definitely progressing. Back in January her speech therapists asked us to name all the words she could do. It was 10. In a year of speech therapy and only 10 words! Shortly after that, she was tested (they test her every 6 months or so) and she tested almost off the charts for every other category but her verbal communication. Problem solving, adaptive communication, understanding, everything like that she was testing in the 4 year old range. Her ability to dress herself, wash her own hair, pour her own juice go to the bathroom 100% alone things like that were all very advanced for her age. Not only that, but her understanding of prepositions (on, beside, under) and possessives (Daddy's baby, Mommy's daughter) was very startling to the testers. And remember, the test was all in Spanish! So it made me happy to realize and really see that even if her communication was slow, she was understanding so much of what I said to her.

However, even with those 10 words (and other non-verbal communication she was doing) she tested exactly at the level where she doesn't qualify for their services anymore. I was very sad to see them go, but I had a good surprised waiting for me. 2 weeks before they called and told me the test results, something clicked inside of her. She started to imitate so many things that I was saying. Words that I had said for months (and maybe years) she started to attempt to say. I was not prepared for it, and it caught me way off guard. My husband was much MUCH better at deciphering what she was trying to say. And slowly I got it too: she only says the last 2 syllables of whatever word she is saying. Estrellas turns into "ellas" Biblioteca becomes "teca". Conejo becomes "nejo". I don't know why the husband got it sooner than I did, but I am so thankful he did! Because she would start getting very frustrated if we didn't understand her two syllables.

The speech therapists told me that in order to put 3 word phrases together, she needed a minimum of 50 words. And I sat down and counted them all out, and she definitely has 50 words now. And while I wouldn't say it was an "explosion" of speech, she definitely is more willing to try to say new words. Sometimes I have to remind her of a word, but once she hears it again, she's pretty good at remembering it and repeating it. I think that's the best part. She will attempt to say what I say to her. It makes me feel like she's not going to be a total mental defective he whole life. (I of course kid about that. I am aware that she is not at all below normal intelligence).

Marcelo:
2 months away from graduating and now looking for a job, Marcelo is in full busy mode. Oh, plus he is working at a job every hour possible. And he is looking for a car to buy. These weeks are super busy for him, but I am hoping that his car search is a priority. HA HA! As soon as he gets a car, then I GET MY CAR BACK! Hello trips to Jump on It!. Hello trips to indoor play parks. Hello trips to parks. Hello play dates. Hello to driving myself to Scouts. Hello Life! It's been almost 3 years with only one car. And let's just say I'm very excited to get my independence back. And very excited we got a good tax return this year to help with the down payment. We couldn't do it without you, IRS!

Marcelo plays soccer about 2 times a week and has won 2 or 3 tournaments now. He saves the medals and trophies like he's 12 and just got his first Little League participation award. I don't know what he's going to do with all of them, but I think they will eventually get thrown away. I know I eventually throw all my medals away. Is that crass and unappreciative? I don't know, I just don't want to crate it everywhere. But he loves his trophies. He usually plays at night (like 8 or 9 or even 10!) so he is here at night to help with bath time/bedtime.

But I do feel badly for him because he is Bibi's favorite. You would think this would make me jealous, but at 3 am, when she is calling HIS name, I really don't mind. He goes and lays next to her and I get to sleep on in peace. It's really not a bad situation for me. And when she is sick (like in these days) she only wants her Papa. I frequently wake up alone in our bed because he has gone to answer her cries in the middle of the night. He's a good Papa.

Raya:
A super sweet dog that loves to run. She's also a "scaredy cat" who stays close to us because she's pretty fearful of the world around her. She loves to poop in the neighbor's yard which I get to clean up every couple of days. She loves that yard because it smells like quail and deer. Which is like crack for my bird flushing hunting dog. She loves to lay in the sun and snuggle up to you with her head on your shoulder. She is the sweetest dog in the world, and it's hard to get mad at her when she breaks out of her cage and eats the chicken I was defrosting for lunch after church. Seriously, how does she break out of that cage all the time? She's the Houdini of dogs. Luckily raw chicken isn't damaging to dogs as it is to humans. (I looked it up.) She was in doggie heaven, you can't blame her for eating what she can get.

Alicia:
I am having a hard time maintaining my exercise routine. But having a sick child will do that to you. I'm hoping she'll recover soon so I can start going back.

That is where I ended. Things have pretty much been the same since then. I am still bad at exercising but I DO have a car now (hooray for me!) and the baby still shushes us, but not as much now because she can tell us exactly what she wants. "no mama! No vayas!" (meaning, don't go) or "tu, mama" (meaning, it's your turn, mom). She can also ask for her favorite shows and videos by name. She still does that syllable cut off thing, but are are getting much better and making her try to break down the word and say it all.

Here are some awesome pictures for you to enjoy:

She wanted her picture taken WITH raya, of course

And here her lips were really dry and they cracked and bled a little bit. Of course, a band aid will fix that!

She looks smashing in that band aid!

Here are some pictures of Halloween

It was cold, so she's got the jacket on ready for massive candy begging

I don't know why I never posted about Halloween. Maybe because Marcelo was feeling sick so I had to do it alone in the rain. But she did look cute. Next year I want to make her a Belle costume and dress Raya up as the Beast. Quite ambitious of me, but I think it will rock.

I have lots more, but who really cares about someone else's kid, right?

Anyway, I hope you like reading about what we are doing these days. If not, stop reading my blog!

Things that I've noticed as of late

2011-04-15T08:16:00.000-06:00

Here are just a few things that have been floating around my mind recently. I hope you enjoy my random ramblings:

On Soy Milk:

I don't like soy milk. I think it is too sweet. And too watery. Nasty, nasty stuff. But regular milk? I'm kind of intolerant right now. Well, I should say *I* am quite tolerant, but others around me aren't so much when the bad milk farts start coming. Sorry, husband, about the covered wagon I gave you the other day. Still love me, right? And "lactose free" milk doesn't seem to help the milk toots any. So it's either soy or no cereal. And how am I supposed to go 5 more months with no cereal? Now that's just crazy talk.

On smells around the house:

Our nickel plated shower head smells like maple syrup. Just thought you should know that.

Also, speaking of maple syrup smells: Waffle Crisp cereal smells a lot better than it tastes. That is just my opinion. And when has my opinion ever been off? (Don't answer that, ANYONE, please)

On things that Marcelo does in the bed:

Don't let your mind go to a dirty place. This is strictly a PG post. Here it is: Marcelo ruins sheets. And how does he do this? By his constant feet rubbing in the night. I think it is a nervous habit/twitch, like teeth grinding knuckle popping. But this is the second pair we have had to throw away because there are tears in them right where his feet lay at night. And these are REALLY high quality sheets, which I love! I love climbing into a nice fresh bed with good sheets. But there is no way we can afford nice sheets at the rate he destroys them. So I guess we have to buy the $15 Target flannel sheets in a bag.

And it's not just a little tear that could be remedied with a needle and thread. He rubs them BARE and then they shred. Here is a picture:

He tries to play it off like he has NO IDEA why it's only the area by HIS feet that do this. Like different companies repeatedly make JUST THAT ONE SPOT thinner and more tear-able than others. Yeah right! We both know he has the nervous feet rub twitch all night long rubbing it and wearing it down until it shreds. Maybe I need to get him a monthly pedicure so he can sand off all those rough patches. Hmmmm, it would be worth it to be able to get nice sheets again!

On my pregnancy cravings:

I crave totally different things in this pregnancy. I'm not so much about the fries and milkshakes this time around. It's more about Thai food and Panda Express. But I only let myself have P.E. one time a month- the day after my OBGYN visit. Otherwise I would be there every day, I swear and I would gain 1 million pounds like I did the first pregnancy. Because it's all I want to eat! That and some sweet/spicy curry from Bangkok Grill. Oh my, deliciousness.

Also, chocolate doesn't bother me as much as it did my first pregnancy. I mean, I still don't crave it or lust after a candy bar when I see it in the store. But at least now I can enjoy a bite of a Snickers or a brownie and not have immediate heartburn. Same with "sweet breads" like muffins and such. Again, I don't eat them all the time, but now I can enjoy a blueberry muffin conference morning and not feel sick.

I have also started to enjoy drinkable yogurt again. Just like when I was in Ecuador. Drinking it straight from the bottle. Is there any other way? I mean it *DOES* have the word "drinkable" right in the title, and I'm not allowed to use straws right now (more on that in another post) so what should I do? Of course, I should drink it straight from the carton. And I do. And it's delicious. Just don't come over to my house and ask to have a cup of drinkable yogurt: it's full of my backwash.

And finally, the more startling, Jell-O. I know! This was once one my top 10 lists of things I hate eating. Right up there with bananas and pudding. Those two things I still don't eat, but a combo of orange and some berry (raspberry or strawberry) Jell-O is so heavenly. Try it, you'll love it. Throw some pineapple in it if you would like. Or not. Whatever.

So that is a partial list of some things I have noticed as of late. Now I need to go and take a nap. On a bed with new sheets, of course. Because, seriously, did you see what he did to those others?

Answered Prayers

2011-04-12T13:22:00.006-06:00

I want to say that the truth behind my lack of blogging is because I am napping all the time (s0 baby can grow, of course!) or because I am out being a great mother to my kid. The truth is, I have just been weighed down of late with many different problems on the horizon.

The good news is that no problem are happening RIGHT NOW (except for the washing machine problem, and that will be fixed for me in 2 week. So that is really more about just being patient) but many problems will be at our front door in the next 6 weeks to 5 months. What are some of these problems? Well, there are child-care issues, employment questions, living quarters, what to do with the dog?, and new baby arrivals. All these things are REALLY big things! (except for the dog, of course. Even though we love her lots, she gets lower priority than employment and pregnancy)

But just today, I had a prayer answered. By none other than my mom. Who is the DEFINITION of a "problem solver". You know that line in "Ice Ice Baby?" It was written about her. ". . . If you got a problem, YO, I'll solve it". I really think that is her mantra.

Anyway, I like to think that I got problem solving skills from my mom. HOWEVER, I know that sometimes this is not always a good thing. Sometime a problem should NOT be solved. Sometimes the person who solved the problem needs to get out of the situation themselves. Or they need to use their brain to problem solve, brainstorm and come up with many different options. Because that makes us better, right?

Anyway, the way this problem was solved could not have been done on my own. Let me tell you, I had brainstormed up a TORRENT and had come up with about 5 different options. All of them were not great. They were ok, but not the best. And then today, my mom throws at me another possibility. And the clouds parted. There was a solution to my dilemma.

This is just a shout out to our family's problem solver. We are going to have a great time together in Hawaii, and it's all thanks to you, mom!!

Here is a picture of the problem solver and her newest grandchild. Passing on the problem solving strategies to the next generation

A Day in the Life-March 17th

2011-04-04T15:10:00.001-06:00

I got this idea from my ex-roommate Beth. But I was hesitant to do it as I compared her days to mine. See, her days always seem so much more exciting (and productive). (Probably about 3 times exciting, because she has 3 times as many kids) But I happened to choose a day that was super nutso, so maybe this will be interesting to read. You know, for you. For me it's not that interesting anymore. Because, you know, I lived it.

So I wrote it all down, and then proceeded to forget about it until my mom left town. Which was last night. So here it is, over 2 weeks late:

March 17th, 2011
4:06 am-Get up and go pee. So necessary. I always try to fight it and lay in my bed for a few min to try and wonder what possibly could've awoken me at 4 am. And then it slowly comes to me.

4:15 am-Due to squeaky bathroom door, baby wakes up. Happens just about every day. Today is obviously no exception. Marcelo goes in to lay next to her in the bed next to hers. Hopefully this will get her right back to sleep.

4:38 am-Doesn't work this time. She's still awake. I'm still awake too. I allow my mind to wander. Think about the following things: half marathons, my recent scary snake dream, upcoming baby shower i need to buy gift for, invitations for the R.S. activity I have to do for Sunday. I hear baby talking to Marcelo and try to engage him in a conversation. She is obviously succeeding.

4:39 am-Stomach growls and realize I am starving. Can I get something to eat? Better not. Would disturb Bibi too much.

4:51 am- Changing of the guard. Marcelo comes in and says it is my turn to lie next to her. I realize I have to pee again. How is that possible?

5:20 am-She has tried to engage me in conversation. She is halfway successful. After the requests for water, and then throwing her cup out of her bed, I have had it. (pregnancy makes me really irritable) I say "no more, good night" and leave her alone. The crying/screaming for her life begins. We lay in bed and listen to it.

5:37 am-Marcelo finally can't take it anymore and goes in and talks to her. He tells her it is time to sleep and she mercifully does.

6:00 am-When alarm for gym goes off, I don't get up and go like I should. I go back to sleep

6:55 am-Mom calls me from the train station. I was supposed to be there 10 min ago to pick her up. Whoops!

6:57 am- While on the road I realize I have missed 2 calls and a text from her. Sorry mom! I'm hurrying!

7:35 am-I get breakfast for myself. It is a breakfast I have been thinking about since 4:30am. My homemade "MacDonald's" breakfast: A Sausage egg & cheese McMuffin. It is delicious and everything I have been dreaming of. Baby wakes up just now, mom starts to unpack in their shared room.

8:58 am-Bibi has suckered mom into reading her the Disney Spanish Dictionary. Mom's Spanish is so hilarious and the source of much family mockery.

9:59 am- Bibi gets breakfast. Yes! She eats this late every day! Don't try to feed her right when she wakes up! She will reject your food and it will only make you frustrated. Wait till she asks for food, then give her the planned breakfast. She'll eat it cold, no need to make something new.

10:41 am-Mom volunteers to watch Bibi so I can go to gym. I do. They go to the park and have an awesome time.

11:45 am-Back from gym. Into the shower

12:15 pm-Off to lunch with my brother and his very pregnant wife. Jason's Deli. Marcelo meets us there. It is awesome, as always.

2:17 pm-Drop mom off at BYU. She has a meeting with her acadamic advisor. Oh, did I forget to mention that she got accepted to BYU in the fall? So if she graduates from BYU, that will mean every girl in our family has graduated from BYU. Um, I don't think I need to state how awesome we are.

2:22 pm-Home for naptime. Even though Bibbers is full of food and should be VERY tired, she still fights the nap. All the grandma excitement has got her worked up. She finally goes down, though.

4:15 pm-Wake the Bibi up from her nap. I have to physically wake her up. Which never fails to seriously piss her off. And beware the wrath of Bibbers. It can last for hours, and ruin the rest of the afternoon. The only way to get her in a better mood is to distract her with something else. Which is why. . .

5:00 pm-We head out to the park for the second time that day. This time we take the dog. Every day the dog gets to go to the park, she thinks it is Christmas. It's just so hard not to love a dog that gets so excited about a lame trip to the park.

5:43 pm-Home to Watch BYU game. Which they win! Go Cougars. I do several loads of laundry while watching the game.

7:11 pm-Marcelo tells me that he wants to go play soccer. He is leaving in 15 min or so.

7:36 pm-Start dinner for baby. I don't want anything because I'm still full from lunch.

8:12 pm- Dinner for baby. She eats and then watches Annie on our computer.

8:29 pm-It's bath time! The baby pretends she doesn't want to bathe and she runs away from me all over the house. She really likes her baths, it's just more fun to run away from mom. I give up trying to get her in the bath and I finish loading the dishwasher and folding laundry. She still is kind of snacking on dinner, so I'm not in a rush to get her in the bath. I would rather her eat and be full before going to bed.

8:50 pm-I'm tired of running around and chasing her. I finally become "mean mom" and get her into the bath. She fusses and I ask her if she wants me to get in with her. She of course agrees and gets really happy to be in the bath. I do this about 1 time a month. Usually when it's super cold outside. It warms me up and she loves playing with mom in the bath. Favorite activity? Dumping water on mom's head.

9:10 pm-Out of bath, and now it's time to chase WET EVI around. Especially when I try to comb her hair, put lotion all over her body, make her take her vitamin and get PJ's on. A naked, wet baby is no fun to chase so again, I have to get MEAN to get things done. Easy for me to get "mean" when I'm tired and pregnant. (and I really shouldn't write "mean" like that. As if it wasn't really mean. Which it totally is and I totally am!)

9:35 pm -Brush Bibi's teeth

9:40 pm-Start reading books to Bibbers. Her favorites are the Dinosuar books (in Spanish, of course)

9:46 pm-She's asleep in my arms as I read to her. is 9:46 a late time for her to go to bed? I want to say yes, that this is due to the time change that just happened a few days ago. And it's due to the late wake and then late nap. But as I type this (3 weeks after the fact) we are still facing a 9 or 9:20 pm bed time and a wake time of 6 or 6:30 am. Very standard. She is not kind to her mama. And I know that if I cut out her nap, she will probably sleep earlier and through the night. But you know what, I LIKE NAP TIME! It is time for me to check my email uninterrupted, take a shower or take a nap myself! And getting up at 6am and then going to the gym, sometimes I need that nap! So I will put her to bed at 9:30 and keep the nap, for now.

10:20 pm-Marcelo is home from soccer. I make him dinner. I'm sure it's something simple, because all my 10:30 meals are super simple. I'm still not hungry from lunch (surprisingly) so I don't make any for myself

10:42 pm-Help my mom write an email to her English department counselor. When she gets tired, sometimes things don't come out so clear.

11:07 pm-Now I'm hungry. Why was I so stupid not to make food for myself too? I eat 1/2 of a flour tortilla cold from fridge and some Jello. I know, Jello! Pregnancy lets me eat weird things. Normally revolting things look ok, hence the Jello. All culinary rules out the window.

11:13 pm-I finally climb in bed. I read my book "Black Swan" for a few minutes (not the book that the creepy movie is based on. This book is much more like Malcolm Gladwell's "Outliers") I finally drift off to sleep.

So that is it! I wish I would've taken pictures of this day. I promise that if I do this again, I will take pictures. And maybe even a video so you can see my dog's park joy.

My mom's visit was long but super fun. And we get to see her in a few weeks for graduation! So now all I have to worry about is finding Marcelo a job. Shouldn't be hard in this economy, right?

Wish me luck!

A Healthy Hint From Weight Watchers

2011-03-25T13:40:00.004-06:00

My mother went to a WW meeting today. (she is a lifetime member, having reached her goal weight and kept it off several years ago. But life and traveling happens. So now she's trying to get back to that weight again) She told me about a little hint they got today in their meeting:

Mom: So they said that you should make your food last. You know, try to take 20 minutes to eat your dinner.

Me: So. . . . .I should eat continuously for 20 minutes? I can TOTALLY do that!

Mom: NOOOOOO!! I meant. . . .

AND SCENE

I clearly knew what she was trying to say. I just like to kid her. And there will be no cessation of eating for quite a while because. . . .

I'm pregnant.

Boo-ya

Due in Sept. Very excited.

15 weeks now. When should my energy return to me, again?

Ok, I need to go eat now.

For at least 20 minutes

Give me my sin again

2011-03-02T08:27:00.004-07:00

I'm back off the wagon. The BREAD wagon. Whole boxes of cereal and loaves of bread disappear with startling speed. And my thighs are expanding with that same rapidity.

But I love bread. Great Harvest bread is my current favorite. Picture this: toasted slice of wheat bread, schmer of cream cheese and my mom's homemade blackberry jam on top. I may have had 2 of these yesterday. Which you are thinking "just 2, that's not so bad". To which I reply, "um I didn't tell you about the bowls of cereal or the OTHER slices of bread (and butter) I also ate. Yeah, It's becoming a problem.

But I just love it so much!

I wish salad tasted as good. Or something else healthy and green. I need to eat more green things!

In other sinning news, I ate a whole box of corn Chex in 2 days. That was last week. I hated myself after that one. But is there anything better than a cold bowl of milk and cereal? At least I'm not eating pancakes for 3 meals, anymore. That was a bad time.

It's time for things to heat up so I can get outside again. Yesterday was pretty nice, maybe things are looking up in the weather department!

But seriously, I should just stop buying bread and cereal, right? I mean, if it's not in my house, then I can't eat it, right? That's what my theory was all last year, and it seemed to work well. I really should return to that mode of thinking.

Wow, this post is boring. I kept typing with the hope that some inspiration would strike me and it would get interesting at some point. That did not happen. And I apologize.

You can never get those 4 minutes back, and that is something I will have to live with forever.

Poison

2011-02-26T07:20:00.004-07:00

I poisoned my family on Thursday. Food poison, that is. I'm pretty sure I know how I did it, and it was 153% my fault. It didn't hit till last night, and it hit all of us within about 2 hours of each other.

See, Marce got it first. And then when it hit me, I said, "I think this is food poisoning". But he responded "no, the baby ate that food too. And she isn't sick". But he spoke too soon! We had a little nighttime vomit episode with her. And so he conceded that yes, it was probably food poisoning.

How did it do it? It involved chicken, forgetting to turn the oven on and then not cooking the crap out of it. I usually cook my chicken for an obscene amount of time just to make sure it is 100% cooked through. But this time, because of the delay in forgetting to turn the oven on, there wasn't time and so I'm pretty sure that is what caused us all to get sick.

Anyway, I won't shock you with the details, but let's just say you know it is food poisoning when it's shooting out BOTH ENDS nearly simultaneously.

We are all eating some dry toast, oatmeal and juice to try to replenish the lost fluids and nutrients. And I feel badly for poisoning my family. As I well should, I think. At least it wasn't a dinner party!

Don't forget to wash your hands people!

Just so you know

2011-02-12T22:40:00.004-07:00

Just so you know:

It takes 4 grown adults to hold a 2 and 3/4 year old child down to examine a scratched eye.

And if anything needs to be dropped into this eye to make it glow like a radioactive particle ala the Simpsons, make sure all 4 of your are wearing protective gloves, because she will pinch, and scratch and spit and kick and do everything in her power to get away from you. And it will make you cry. And you haven't cried at the doctors office since you watched her get her first set of shots.

Oh, and if she needs to get anti-bacterial drops in her eyes 3 times a day for a week, make sure that your husband is present for the administration of of those drugs. Because if not, you might have a scratched eye yourself from the fighting.

But you will feel better knowing something is being done about it. Because seriously, when you pried her eye open after hours of crying and saw the VERY VISIBLE scratch that went the whole length of her iris AND pupil you nearly died of fright for the sight of your child.

But seriously, that radioactive stuff they put in her eye glowed neon green in the special black light? That stuff was cool. Made me miss the day-glow fashions of the 80's.

Ski Holiday

2011-01-05T09:21:00.000-07:00

A few days before Christmas my mom took my brother and I skiing. Well, she skied and Nathan and I snowboarded. It was only the second time I have ever done it in my life. And last time I did it was 7 years ago. Even though it was long ago, I remember how difficult and painful it was. So you can understand why I was very VERY apprehensive about going.

I almost skied 2 years ago when I was about 6 months pregnant with Bibi. I don't fall down a lot when I ski and I was just planning on doing the bunny slope, so I didn't think there would be much of a problem. But I was about 75 (maybe 80?) pounds heaver than I am now, AND the day before I had gone maternity bathing suit shopping with my mom. The effort of only pulling those suits on and off made me tired and I had to sit down and rest in the changing room. So 2 years ago with my weight gain, pregnancy and fatigue on my mind I decided not to go skiing. Plus the day was cut short anyway because my sister-in-law tore her ACL within 4 minutes of getting on the slopes. GOOD TIMES!!

But back to this ski adventure. We went to Sundance and I was shocked to discover how big it is! I didn't know there were 4 different lifts! I didn't realize how many different run options there were. Sundance is definitely worth the price if you can go on a day that's not super crowded. Which this day wasn't

Nathan promised that he wouldn't ditch me and he would help me remember how to do it. And he was true to his word. The first run of the day was rough and it took me a while to remember how to turn, stand up and then finally maneuver the board. I was so slow on that first run that my mom decided to ditch us and run a few runs by herself. But she only got one more in! On the second run of the day I was much much better and we could stay together without problems.

Nathan later said that he always gets worried about trips like these because he loves having his mother along, but we tend to forget just how old she is! She's 60 (sorry mom, I just told the world your age) but she still does all the fun stuff with us so it's hard for us to remember her age. She still water-skis, and will get on those inflateable toys to pull behind the boat with her grandkids. She works out all the time, and If I suggesting hiking or backpacking or rock climbing the next time she came out, I don't think she would have any problem with any of those things. Actually, she didn't fall down even ONCE the whole day she skied. You know I cannot say the same! But he worries about the possibility of her hurting herself and then ruining her whole vacation. But mom isn't crazy! She knows her limits and keeps it safe.

Well, we had a great time. The baby got to hang out with her cousin all day, and I got a sore body for the next 5 days! It was worth it, though. Here are some pictures we took while up there. They were taken with a camera phone, so excuse the poor quality.

It snowed and rained on and off that day. It kept some people away from the slopes, and that's how we like it!
Thanks to my mom for the chance to go! And thanks for Nate for being patient with me as I forgot and then remembered how to snowboard. And thanks to the staff at Sundance for not laughing at me EVERY TIME I fell off the chair lift. Especially that one time where I miss-calculated how much time I had to dis-embark and I basically had to jump off the seat and I landed face down in a pile of snow. Giant bruises on my legs to show for that one. And a special thanks to Jules for leaving all her snowboarding stuff when she went to Texas. We hardly had to rent anything thanks to her!

Happy Boarding, everyone!

Family Pictures

2011-01-04T12:14:00.001-07:00

These were taken on Halloween. I know, WAAAAAAY too long to post them.

Except for the one where I have a double chin, I think we all look super cute and happy. Which is amazing because our kid was NOT happy about some strange guy taking her pictures. (He's not THAT strange: He's our home teacher)

Over an hour long photo shoot and 400+ pictures later, and this is all we have to show for it. Thanks Bibi for being so weird around (semi) strangers!

Dear Stupid Person

2011-01-03T12:09:00.002-07:00

Dear person who is 19 days late in returning a book:

I am #1 on the list.

You are nearly 3 weeks overdue.

I hate you.*

If the library were to publish your name, I would come egg your house.

How selfish ARE you. . .?

What gives you the right. . .?

I've now lost the ability to formulate whole sentences. So you have that on your conscious too. Are you happy, stupid person? Overdue books and now speech/writing impediments

I hope you and your (soon to be) 3 week overdue book are happy.

* I don't really *HATE* you. I just want to punch you in the throat. Right Judd?

I'm going to need some new pants

2010-11-08T19:25:00.002-07:00

I just saw this on Eric D. Snider's blog:

Wouldn't you know it, I've come down with Bieber Fever just as I was getting over David "Archuletarrhea"

I hear that the Fever hits fast and will knock you out for days at a time. Good luck with that! At least he won't be running to the toilet every 20 minutes. It's sixes, really

I demand a re-count!

2010-10-30T10:48:00.006-06:00

Yesterday was the ward Halloween Party. It was a pretty good one. Awesome decorations, sinful cornbread (with honey butter AND raspberry butter!), music and dancing for the kids (and my husband. Yes! Marcelo came! Shocking!) and a chili cook off between ward members. People really participated in this one! There were tons of pots of chili to choose from and you could tell that people really liked showing off their different styles of chili. I bet there were about 25 different kinds of chili, but only 19 of them participated in the "contest".

Andy let me tell you why I participated in the contest: I hate beans. I know most people find them an integral part to chili, but I hate them. And I hate having to meticulously sort through my bowl of chili to pull out all the beans. So I signed up to bring a pot of chili so that I for sure knew that there would be something palatable for myself. And after about 3 minutes of searching online, I found this awesome recipe for a Pumpkin Turkey Chili that I wanted to try. I love pumpkin! I love ground turkey! AND NO BEANS!!! This one was it. I made it really fast (I didn't leave myself enough time to do everything after my run, and taking a shower and getting the baby ready. I'm such a bad procrastinator!) and we ran off to the church for the party.

Like I said, it was a good party. Even if it did start really late. But it let everyone get there on "Mormon Standard Time" and find a place for their chili. So after I had eaten my weight in cornbread (Seriously, I had 6 of them. And while they were quite small-1 1/2 inches squared- that didn't justify the whole cup of honey butter I put on as well) I watched as my child ran around and found her new best friend: The girl dressed up as the Little Mermaid. Seriously, my kid would've followed that little girl into highway traffic, that's how devoted she was to her. Or should I say to the Little Mermaid.

And then it was time to award the prizes for the chili winners. And I don't know how to say this, BUT I WON!!!!! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLL!!!!! Seriously, how did that happen? I demand a recount! There is no way I won! My chili was NOT spicy (but maybe that helped?) nor did it have beans (but again, maybe that helped?) but it was the winner. The only thing i can think that put it over the top was that I added sour cream and cheese to the top of my "judging cup." But I don't think that was cheating. It's what the recipe called for! But seriously, anything with sour cream and cheese on top is going to taste freaking awesome.

We won a $20 gift card to Pastorero, a great taquitoria close to our house that has pictures of Guanajuato inside. It makes me reminisce. Anyway, I think that many MANY people in the ward feel robbed.. Because hardly anyone was like "Oh, congratulations!" I'm sure they were expecting someone else to win. Like the lady in our ward that owns Sweet Tooth Bakery, or the professional caterers in our ward. Yeah, maybe one of them. Not someone who found a recipe off the internet and who had never made chili before in her life. Oh well, I WON!!!!!!

So I know you are all DYING for it, so here is the recipe for the chili:

Pumpkin Turkey Chil
From allrecipes.com
* 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
* 1 cup chopped onion
* 1/2 cup chopped green bell pepper
* 1/2 cup chopped yellow bell pepper
* 1 clove garlic, minced
* 1 pound ground turkey
* 1 (14.5 ounce) can diced tomatoes
* 2 cups pumpkin puree
* 1 1/2 tablespoons chili powder
* 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
* 1 dash salt
* 1/2 cup shredded Cheddar cheese
* 1/2 cup sour cream

Cooking Directions
1. Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium heat, and saute the onion, green bell pepper, yellow bell pepper, and garlic until tender. Stir in the turkey, and cook until evenly brown. Drain, and mix in tomatoes and pumpkin. Season with chili powder, pepper, and salt. Reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer 20 minutes. Serve topped with Cheddar cheese and sour cream.

Serves 6
Amount Per Serving:
Calories: 303
Total Fat: 18.1g
Cholesterol: 76mg

***My own changes***I actually added more salt than it asked for. I tasted it and it was a little too bland and so I added some more. I also added some of my special blend of spices I call "Alino en Polvo" It has cumin, garlic salt, pepper, salt and onion powder. And a little oregano. I added a bit of that too. Not too much, just like a tablespoon. If you want me to make you a batch of "Alino en Polvo" I will be happy to do it. I add it to EVERYTHING. It's my own creation and it reminds Marcelo of home.

So that's my exciting news. I ousted the whole ward in the chili challenge and made enemies of the whole R.S.BC.

Here is the link for allrecipes.com. So you can see a picture of the food:

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Pumpkin-Turkey-Chili/Detail.aspx

Go make it! And then tell me how it went for you. What contests did YOU win?

Kansas City Half Marathon

2010-10-28T14:39:00.001-06:00

So on the 13th of October, I packed up the baby, a suitcase and a backpack full of movies and we headed off to Kansas City. I was very excited and quite scared to be doing my first half marathon, but I was excited to be able to do it with family.

Traveling was uneventful. Oh! Except that on NO of our 4 flights were we assigned to sit together. What? She's 2! Sometimes we were on completely different rows. Most of the time we both had window seats on the same row. It was quite annoying. And no matter how early we got to the gate, they couldn't seem to figure it out. People were nice about sliding over, though. Especially when I would say "Hey,I don't mind if she sits over there, You can watch her for me!" That got them moving in a hurry.

Oh, and because my child is 95% potty trained (on some days. On other days she's only about 25%. She chooses her compliance level based on if there is something better to do, anger at a punishment she has to endure, blood sugar level and her desire to piss me off. I'm not kidding on that last one.) I didn't have her wearing a diaper on the plane. It was never ever a problem, until I tried to take her to the bathroom in the airport before we left, and I didn't take her pants off all the way, and you know the rest. Baby with legs in awkward position + placed near edge of bowl = arc of pee shooting out of her and covering her pants. Totally my fault. But we had to get on the plane, so with a little wipe down and some heavy blotting we were on our way (yes, I forgot to bring a change of clothes. Again, my fault. If I had been better prepared this would've been a non-issue)

She never peed her pants on the plane. Why should she when we went to the bathroom a minimum of 4 times on every plane ride! Because plane bathrooms are so fun! They smell like a latrine and are so closely cramped, but yes! let's go again!

Once we got to Kansas city, it took me less than 24 hours to offend my sister in law. BOO-YAH!! I'm pretty good at that. Not like I *TRY* to offend her, but I know I can be judgmental sometimes. And I am pretty easy to read, and I have a big mouth. So basically, I would be surprised if I DIDN'T offend her. But luckily my sister in law is one of my favorite people on this early and so easy to talk to, and so quick to forgive and make you see why you are such an ass. And I always learn something new and important from her every time we talk. Lesson for the day: Don't raise your children for the approval of others. If you raise your children to the eyes of everyone around you, you will have morally confused children who can see your hypocrisy. If you feel like you are doing something with your kids just so outsiders don't look down on you, you might need to re-think it. It was a good time.

My sister Julie arrived 2 days later. She and her husband drove from Texas, and they got there just in time to go pick up our packets from the race coordinators. They had a whole bunch of fun stuff to see and buy. Disney was there pimping their marathon through Disney World. And that sounded like fun! My sister in law said she thought about doing that some year in the future. And I think that would be so much fun to do as a family again. I would do the half marathon, of course, but to be there and then enjoy Disney World after the race would be great, I'm thinking. I'm just dreaming, of course, but I think it would be a great goal.

I resisted the urge to buy anything, and so I went home and started getting really nervous for the race. And I mean really really nervous. My sister in law started laughing at me that night because I was just so stressed about what to wear. Should I wear a jacket? But I know it will be warm, I don't want to run with it around my waist with the zipper slapping me for 10 miles. What about gloves? Will I need them at the beginning? I didn't bring a good shirt to wear. What will I wear? Seriously, it was nuts. I was going nuts. She thought it was funny. Mostly because marathons (and half marathons) are nothing for her now. And she hardly even trained for this one! She just thought it was funny to see me all anxious and worrying.

So the next morning, I woke up and put my 10 year old niece in my bed and locked her and my baby in there. She was to be my primary babysitter, and she was great. Actually, all of the girls were great with the Bibbs. And Kyrie got to wipe her butt after an especially big poo. My kid will bend over and stick her bum in the air for you to wipe her. You don't even have to ask. The kids thought that was great! Anyway, they all babysat my girl while I ran.

And now, a sad story. Because my brother had Volleyball games on that day, and we needed Julie's husband to be at home with the girls in case something happened and he needed to drive someone to the hospital, this meant that there was no one to cheer us on and take pictures of us at the end of the race. (or during) But I got a few pictures before the race. While we were sitting in the car preparing.

Where did Julie go? Ahhh, she was bending down. And Tina is typing on the phone probably saying "We are leaving our phones now. Talk to you in 3 hours". But then they were ready for the next one:
Ohh, not a good one of me! A LOT of double chin action going on. We all looked at this picture and decided that we needed another one.

SCARY EYES!! ALICIA IS DEMENTED! SHE WILL RUN HER RACE. . .AND THEN TAKE YOUR SOUL! And then I decided that I should stop looking at each pictures after I take it, and just keep snapping pictures. And so I did:

This is the best BEST of Tina and Julie. But I'm halfway gone. . .And I still have some crazy eyes. . .or some crazy eye, I should say.

Tina is looking half squinty. And I have a weird tip on the end of my nose. But I think this is the best of all of us. The best I could get. But why stop there?
Me with more double chin, and Julie looking off at something else in the distance. Maybe looking at where we SHOULD be? Like at the race?

And now Tina is just laughing because it is getting ridiculous. And somehow the flash got turned on to make me look all Casper-like. But we were having a good time. Everyone has a good time before the race STARTS, right?

We tried to stand in line for the potty. But we realized that people were cutting in front of us, and we all were only semi-dedicated to peeing. So we walked away like 2 min before the starting gun went off. We all laughed later that we were all willing to go before the race, but we never bothered to stop and pee DURING the race. I guess the nerves made the need not so great once we got started.

And start we did! Tina ditched us before we even crossed the starting line, but we thought she would. She turned around and said "see ya in a couple of hours!" and she was off. And Julie and I started slow and slowly. But we had a good time! We got to chat with one another all the way until about the mile 10 1/2. Then she felt like she was going too slow and she was cramping up, so she went ahead. The funny thing is that she didn't go THAT much faster and I could see her up until about mile 12 or 13. I think she only finished a few minutes ahead of me. They had bands playing music along the trail, and people had signs and noise makers to cheer you along. It really was a fun time

The Kansas City Half Marathon is HARD. It's up and down about 45 hills. No joke! If you aren't running up, then you are running down. There are very few level places. The last mile is ROUGH. Especially for me because I didn't know where we were going. If I had known where we were and when we would turn I think I could've done better that last mile. Especially because you tend to get down on yourself when the marathon runner passes you. (happened for me on mile 12.5). I'm happy that I finished in just over 2 1/2 hours.

Anyway, I'm going to wrap this post up. Tina tried to run back to get the camera at the car so she could photograph us. And she made it! But then the camera was on "play" not "take" pictures so it didn't happen. But we took a picture after the race of Julie and I together! Which Julie accidentally deleted. BOOO. I told you the picture situation was a sad story.

We went right home after the race, because I had a baby that I needed to get back to, and we all needed some good food. I think next time I would like my family to be there at the finish line for me and we can stay around and see what all there is going on at the party. But I'm not sad I went home. My body needed rest! I got a well deserved Thai meal later that night, and then the rest of my time there was a vacation!

I had a great time, and I loved being with my family and just making a goal and finishing it. I definitely have another one in me, but I don't know how soon I will do it.

Thanks for reading, people!

P.S. They had people taking pictures along the trail, and you can buy them. But I am cheep. I have the sore muscles and the memories of my first half marathon. I don't think I need much else. But here are some of the horrible grainy shots: I'm in the yellow shirt and gray pants behind tank-top girl.

If you want to see more pictures of me running, I think for a limited time you can go to this link:

http://www.backprint.com/view_user_event.asp?S=20&PID=bp%18yG&EVENTID=72309&PWD=&BIB=7573

There you can see bigger MUCH better pictures than what I've blown up here.

Dear Egg Nog. . .

2010-10-27T21:44:00.002-06:00

I happily welcome your Holiday return. I passed you today in the store and I bought not one, but TWO of you. One of you (the pumpkin flavored one) has already been opened and I have have been enjoying your straight from the carton. We are such good friends, (nay I say lovers?) that there is no need to kid ourselves with the pretense of a glass.

I will weep when you leave me again when the holiday season ends. But we both know that you will be back. There is no denying what we have together.

I'll see you tomorrow, bright and early.

Love,
Your Alicia

A Fashion Question

2010-10-15T10:51:00.001-06:00

So I have this skirt that I FINALLY fit into again. But it's kind of a light cream/pale pale pale yellow. It's linen, and looks more like a neutral color, but with a hint of yellow. It's an H&M skirt which I LOVE just because I bought it in NY right after my mission, but also because it was what I was wearing when I saw my husband for the first time after my mission and the first time I kissed him. Oh, and he asked me to marry him when I was wearing it. So, it's basically a magic skirt. For both of us.

My question, is it too late in the year to wear it? It is definitely more of a spring/summer skirt. But it probably won't fit me next spring/summer. So can I still wear it now? I worked really hard to fit into it, but it only fit me too late in the summer season.

I leave the debate up you you, my friends. I have no fashion sense at all. As can be seen by the fact that I am currently wearing jeans I purchased at D.I. and a shade undershirt that I found in the back of my closet and is probably 5 or 6 years old. So, basically I'm dirty and nasty.

If you say I have to wait, I will. I mean, I've waited 4+ years now, what's one more, right?

What is the oldest piece of clothing you still wear on a regular basis? OR What is the one piece of clothing you keep or have kept in hopes that you will someday fit into?

I've learned my lesson this time. . . . I SWEAR

2010-10-14T10:41:00.005-06:00

I do it every time. I say, "This time I'm sure it will be different. This time it won't be so bad. It was an accident, this isn't the norm. I just need to change how I approach the situation, and then everything will be better." But I've finally accepted the truth. And I'm not going back. That's right. I'm breaking up with you, Cafe Rio.

Every time I go there no matter what I eat, I always end up regretting it. I regret it as I'm eating it, and then for the next 12-48 hours. There is no food there that I can eat and the feel good about myself later. It's not the fattiness of the food, per se. It's just the essence, the flavor, the lingering nastiness. And I'm done with it.

So, if you ever suggest that we go to Cafe Rio for lunch or dinner, the answer will be "sure! I'll meet you there and I'll bring my own food to eat while you eat that sludge they call a meal"

I nearly vomited a little in my mouth just writing this post. And you should know that it's been 5 days since I had my last horrible experience there. But that's how long it stays with me. But I'm seriously staying away this time! I'm super SUPER SERIAL!

Can you smell the SPICE?

2010-10-06T07:48:00.004-06:00

After the rain last Saturday, I went outside only to discover the air smelled like fall. Not just of chill and damp air, but SPICY. It smelled like cloves, cinnamon, allspice, ginger. I thought maybe someone in my apartment complex was just burning a pumpkin pie candle (or making zucchini bread or something like that) but the smell was found all around town as I ran errands that day. It made me really hungry for a pumpkin shake! Or a pumpkin doughnut!

Like I said before, I'm excited for fall this year. And even for winter, I guess. Something different. It's almost felt like it's been summer for too long. (I know! Who would've thought I could EVER think that?)

Today when I went running at 6am it was raining. It was so delicious and cool. It kept me at the perfect temperature and the run went really well despite the fact that I was soaking. I would give other people running in the rain the head-nod of understanding. "Either you love running in the rain as much as I do, or you are also training for some race" I would think. And then I would think to myself, "Hey girl, you should loose the windbreaker. You aren't doing yourself any favors. Just let the rain soak you. Enjoy it! And then go home and take a warm bath"

I know that's what I plan on doing right now.

Right after I experience some zills, that is.

Just a few things

2010-10-02T14:04:00.007-06:00

I love my husband. On most nights he lets the baby climb in bed and snuggle next to him and lets me sleep. Sometimes he'll poke me and tell me to take her back and put her into bed, and I am happy to do it! It's nearly impossible to pick her up while she's sleeping on your bicep. I know, I've tried it. And he's so good to let his arm fall asleep for her comfort.

And every Friday night he makes sure that he takes care of her 100% so I can get up early and run. He's so good about that. I'm lucky I have a husband that doesn't mind our baby sleeping in bed with us for a few hours every night. And I'm just lucky that she's sleeping when she comes into bed with us! She used to try to play when she would get up at 1 am, which would result in a fight and then putting her back into bed over and over again (up to 3 hours of it) but now she just crawls in bed and falls back asleep within seconds. I do consider myself lucky. Especially because some nights I will wake up and say to Marcelo "Oh, she slept the whole night in her bed!" and he'll say, "uh, no." :) Now THAT'S a good husband.

On a negative note, I am SOOOO angry when people don't return their books to the library on time! I'm sure I've already ranted about this, but it's SO annoying to see the due date online (the 30th) but nothing. THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT HAVE BEEN WAITING ON THIS BOOK FOR MONTHS, PEOPLE!! TAKE IT BACK ON TIME!!! If you want to know, yes, I take back all my books on time. Furthermore, when it is an especially "coveted" book, I try to make sure it is returned within a week. And if it is a book on CD, I return it the SAME DAY. I think they should give certain people special "24 hour club" status. And they have to return certain books within 24 hours. And if they abide by the rules of the club, they get to keep their membership. I think I will suggest that in the library "suggestions box" the next time I go.

I'm running a half marathon in 2 weeks. I'm quite nervous about it, but I've been training and I should be ready for it. My sister in law, sister, brother in law, and maybe a few cousins will be there to support me and some will run it with me. Well, I don't think they will run "with me" but they will be running in it as well. It's in Kansas City, and it's expensive. Not the race so much, but the airplane tickets, the shoes, the socks, and the band aids for my bloody nipples all add up! (I'm kidding about the bloody nipples part. I think that only happens to men). I'm very lucky that my brother and his family are putting up with me for such a long time (To find the best price, so I had to stay a full week) but I'm going to make it up to them. I'm going to teach my nieces the patented "Judd Fall" which you know will make them the most popular kids in school. And I'll show my nephews the awesome dance moves I just learned on "IASIP"

So that's what's been going on in my life. I hoped I could put a post about how I reached my goal weight, but I cannot. My body HAAAAATES me. Seriously, I'm practically starving it to death and it refuses to drop .2 pounds. I'm not kidding you, I'm .2 pounds away from reaching my goal, and it just won't do it. I guess that tells me that I need to make a lower goal. So now I can say I don't have to lose just .2 pounds, but 25.2 pounds. So when you look at it like that, it's not so miserable that that last little bit won't come off.

So let's hope that my long run today will have some effects on the scale in the upcoming days. Here's Hoping!

But Potty Traning is just SO MUCH FUN!!

2010-09-12T16:46:00.006-06:00

Do you ever jump the gun on things? You see your child pull off a diaper and you automatically think, "oh, she must be ready to potty train!". And then it usually STARTS OFF fun: there are lots of treats flowing around and you feel like you deserve a treat as much as she does when she goes potty on the toilet finally. But then you hit day 4 or 5 when she's over being tempted by a marshmallow and she just wants to keep playing instead of stopping to go pee. So she opens her legs in the middle of the floor and lets go of her bladder. But I'm jumping ahead of myself. Let's go back, shall we.

I was talking about it being FUN. And it sometimes is. Especially when you have a kid that (for the most part) gets it like this one does. Even though she has the vocab of a 1 year old, she doesn't like to be wet or dirty (like if she falls down and gets stuff on her hands she wants it off immediately). So when I started to notice her pulling off the diaper, I decided to try to just put her in some undies. Before when I tried this I would put her in chonies and if she wet them, she would go to the kitchen and get a rag to try to clean herself up (You know, because she didn't like being wet) I caught her mid-pee one day and put her on the toilet to finish and praised the crap out of her. And from there we were off. We had a little toilet, so I stuck it in the middle of the living room so she could get to it easily.

Hindsight #1: Don't put the potty in the middle of the floor. Someone told me that they did this with their kid and he sat there all day being fed M&M's from her and that's how he got it. My child is intrigued by the mechanics of peeing, and so likes to tilt back and see what is going on down there. When someone tilts back on a toilet, ANYONE, your pee will shoot out over the rim of the bowl. I dare you to try it. And then get out the Clorox, because you will have pee on your floor. And if that floor happens to be CARPET where you have placed the potty training chair, well, guess what you will be cleaning pee out of tonight?

So, where was I? Ahh yes, so she only likes peeing naked. What? Yeah, I know, weird. The only thing I can think to explain that is that when I come home from the gym I get naked and go pee right before I get in the shower. (One of you readers suggested I have her watch me pee so she got used to it. NOW WHO DO I HAVE TO THANK FOR THIS PEE=NAKED IDEA SHE HAS? Oh wait, I was the one who got all the way naked right? Hmmmm, never mind) But if I see her taking off her shirt I know she needs to go.

So she likes being naked (pictures to follow of some of her naked hijinx) or JUST in her chones. And she usually won't wet them. She can hold it for a long long time if she needs to. But sometimes she gets tired of it and she just wants the diaper on. So she brings me a diaper and then lays down and opens/lifts legs so I can put it on her. She also does that when she has to poop. For the first few days, I wouldn't give into the diaper and she held and held the poop till she HAD to go and then she ran to the toilet herself!! I was so excited thinking that she had it! We had the breakthrough!

Hindesight #2: Don't think that just because your child has run to the bathroom TWICE and pooped all by herself that means she's "got it". Because she will poop on your floor. Your carpeted floor. And guess what you get to do?

After I lectured here for 5 straight minutes about how we do NOT go poop on the floor, ONLY in the toilet, I'm sure that nothing got through to her. But I should give her a break. I guess she just couldn't hold it anymore that day. But only once out of three? I don't think it's *that* bad, right? (I'll let you know if I feel the same if she poops again on the carpet)

Well, I'm not going to say anything that could come back and bite me later like "she potty trained herself in 2 days!" or "This is so easy!" I'm just happy that it seems to be moving in the right direction. (While I was typing just now, she actually peed twice in the potty, and then STARTED to pee in her pants, but stopped herself, said "Uh-oh" and went and finished on the potty. That seems to be the normal pattern) She stays dry during her naps, so I don't put a diaper on her anymore during nap time. However, she still wears one at night. I don't think she'll lose that one for a while. Especially if I keep letting her drink water right before bed after she brushes her teeth. So we can blame me for that one.

Treats really worked for us at the beginning. 100% bribery. She got a 1/4 piece of candy (salt water taffy) every time I saw that she was still dry (about 10 times a day) and every time she went potty in the toilet. And she got TWO marshmallows if she went poop in the potty. And she knows it. She tried to sit down and see if just the mere sitting will get her something. She also tried to clap and cheer for herself to see if I can be duped into giving her something without looking at the toilet to make sure peeing was actually done. She's crafty, that one.

Here are some pictures to document some of our fun potty times.

She is showing you her fancy chonies. These actually have ruffles on the butt. My mother in law gave them to us when we were in Ecuador last year and I LOVE them! I don't know, something about a ruffle butt just makes me smile.

And here we have a picture of her sitting on the floor (before I got wise and figured out that she was peeing on the carpet by tilting back) and enjoying one of her "prizes" for peeing. It's a sucker. Lots of candy in this house!

And finally, here she is, enjoying her time on the potty. She actually did this all by herself. I did not set up this picture AT ALL, I promise. She just wanted to enjoy her time on toilet. And you can see we figured out how to use that potty chair properly finally: Use insert in big toilet so her little butt doesn't fall in, and use the chair as a step stool GENIUS! (It only took us a week to do it)

Finally, if it doesn't seem like I want to hang out with you if you invite me over, it's because I want to bunker down and try to nail this potty thing down for keeps. So if that means hermitizing myself for a few weeks, so be it. She seems to be really REALLY good at holding it for long periods of time. But I just worry about going out and her getting distracted (which is where we have had a few of our accidents). She just doesn't want to stop playing and will wet herself.

*****UPDATE*****

You should know i started this post a while ago (On August 15th, actually). So we have already had plenty of time gone by of doing this. It seems to be better and worse in some ways. Pooping is going great. I haven't had to clean poop out of a diaper for more than 3 weeks now. Pee, on the other hand, is not as easy. Mostly because of what I said before about not wanting to stop. But my child can hold her pee for hours at a time. Seriously, 3-4 hours she can hold it. I think that's pretty amazing for a 2 year old.

Also, we are now leaving the house. She LOVES leaving the house, so I ask her if she wants to go outside, and if she says yes, then she has to go pee first. It's like the candy bribery, but without the calories.

P.S. Does anyone else think it is funny that she's potty training herself but has a vocabulary smaller than 10 words? Ridiculous

Welcome Fall

2010-09-10T19:38:00.004-06:00

For some reason this year, I'm looking forward to fall. Maybe it's the change that is coming. Maybe it's because I have lots of plans for next year and I'm excited to get them going. Maybe it's because I'm looking forward to Christmas and spending it with our little family and our beautiful tree. (Seriously, our tree is freaking gorgeous. You should come over just to ooooh and awwww and then go home and look at your inferior tree and feel sorry for yourself. COME ANYTIME!) (har har)

I really don't know what it is, but I'm excited for fall. Leave, apples and pears, pumpkins, Halloween, snow, snow skiing (maybe I'll get Marcelo to try snowboarding this year) and then the new year! I'm just excited for the changes.

Maybe it's because I turn 30 this year. 30 seemed so far off when I was 12. I mean, 16 was conceivable. 20? A little bit harder, but still dream-able. I don't think I ever thought about what it would mean to be in my 30's!! And now that it is here, I can't say that I'm sad. I think it's great, and I'm happy with the way things are going.

For the most part. I still have lots of things I want to do. And I'm excited for those things to happen someday. Nothing ever stays the same.

Changes. Don't you love it? WELCOME FALL!!

Birthday WISHES

2010-09-06T08:54:00.001-06:00

I have started making a list of things that Marcelo can get me for my birthday. That's always a difficult thing for me to do because I would rather be surprised, but I'm also really practical. I want to give and get something useful. Even if it's something silly and non-sentimental, I would rather have something that I want and need rather than something that is just "nice".

I'm sure I've talked about this before.

But I've started a list for him of things that he can get me. This is the list:

* Headlamp light for night time reading in bed. (We don't have room for side tables/lamps, and I don't like leaving the main light on while I read. It burns my eyes and makes them more tired)
* The New TiVo Premium
* The New Balance running shoes that I tried on a few days ago at the 26.2 store in Provo (My current shoes won't make it until mid Oct for the half marathon)
* A panini maker (I actually don't know if I *really* want this one. Because I fear that I would do nothing but make paninis all day. And that would NOT be good for my weight goals)
* Breakfast in bed. I do this for him ALL the time. I would like him to do it for me JUST ONCE. I think I should get this. But maybe I'll hold out for this one till Mothers day next year.
* A new pair of Pumas. I really need some "casual" shoes. And they have a pair of 12's! (I know, I have massive feet. It makes shoe shopping a nightmare and not at all fun.)
* One of those key chains with the rubber/cloth holder for my chapstick. I have about 3 tubes of chapstick at home, 2 in my purse, 1 in my church bag and 1 in my old diaper bag. But what if I don't bring one of those bags with me? What if I just have my keys with me? Like yesterday at the lake. Sun + Water + Wind + Cheetos (and other assorted salty chips) =VERY CHAPPED LIPS. And I was without chapstick. And I have been wanting one of those for a while now. Seriously, I *could* just pick one up at the check out counter the next time I'm at the grocery store, but then I couldn't complain about it on my blog anymore, right? Anyway, it's a silly thing that I have on my list. My husband will make me happy if he gets it for me for my birthday. I'm easy like that.

However, this is all moot. Because I already know what I'm getting for my birthday. I'm getting a new iPod!! See, my crappyNano 4G iPod that is 5+ years old has stopped being recognized by iTunes. I took it into the local Apple place, and they couldn't help me. So now I'm going crazy. Because I literally use my iPod every day. I run with it every day and when I'm home I listen to books on CD as I'm cleaning around the house or out with the dog and the baby at the park. So without an iPod I'm seriously stunted.

And what luck! They just announced the new Nanos! Which is what I was going to get anyway! And it's double the storage size of what I have now! But still the same price! AND IT HAS A CLIP FOR ATTACHING TO YOUR CLOTHES DURING EXERCISE. AND IT HAS A PEDOMETER!!! (I use a separate pedometer about 3 or 4 times a week to track my miles) My mind just kept blowing up as I was reading about it. And it comes out next week. I think they were thinking of me when they planned that release date.

So I may not get a surprise on my Birthday, but I don't seem to care right now.

Maybe I'll print off this list and re-title it "Alicia's CHRISTMAS wishes".

I'm sure he won't notice the change.

Out of it

2010-09-04T19:41:00.005-06:00

We went to the Lake today. It was cold and windy. And one of the jet skis didn't work for a few hours, so I had to go all the way back to town to find some replacement parts for it. It eventually did work, and we had some good times. Some good, white cap filled times.

I think everyone always comes back from time at the beach/lake/large body of water entirely spent of energy and ganas to do anything else besides sleep. I'm currently fighting some ZZZZZ's myself right now. I just want to make sure that my baby goes down before I do. She's going to sleep like a rock tonight. I'm really REALLY looking forward to it.

But my point is, I don't think there is anything better than taking a shower right after coming back from the beach/lake/large body of water + sun. ESPECIALLY if you are a little toasty from that sun. You need to get washed and clean ASAP to make the eventual sunburn better. Trust me on this one. Wash yourself nearly instantly and it won't be as bad as if you wait for it to "set in". But seriously, is there anything better than that shower? AHHHHH, I'm remembering it now. It's a whole different kind of zills.

Next item. I think I am really out of it. I think that I am the only person in north America who didn't see Avatar the first time it was in theaters. Seriously, where was I? I don't know. I know Marcelo saw it. But when did he see it? Why wasn't I there? I have no answer for this. But I have decided that I am going to see it. Because I have no plans to buy a 3D TV, so I think that I should see it in the theaters before it leaves.

So who wants to go with me? Who wants to spend another $10-$12 dollars on a mind blowing visual masterpiece with a preachy C- story? Hands?

Ok, I didn't think so. I guess I'll just go by myself.

I'll be the loser with the Whoppers and Milk Duds front and center all alone on a Saturday night.

I really should get some Swedish Fish too. . . .hmmmm

Book Review: Plastic Fantastic

2010-08-27T16:13:00.002-06:00

Plastic Fantastic: How the Biggest Fraud in Physics Shook the Scientific World by Eugenie Samuel Reich

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I think this is the nerdiest book I have ever read. Ever. Mostly because it deals with a LOT of physics and the explanation of experiments and materials used. Organic crystals, sputtering machines, pentacene crystals and particles changing from p-type to n-type (just to name a few). And this book is about 45-50% physics explanations. But it has to be, because it's about the fraud that can be carried out in the scientific world. Especially when people don't understand what one scientist is doing and take him at face value when he makes certain claims. When he claims to be doing impossible things, the author wants to make sure you know why it would be impossible to do what he was claiming to have done.

The main point is this: Science is self-regulating. However, people need to be more on top of things and if things seem to good to be true, they just might be. Don't be afraid to call foul! Or Fraud for that matter. And the author makes a good point: Science is self-regulating. If someone makes a claim and it is false, that claim will eventually be proved so due to the inability of others to duplicate it. HOWEVER, the author also points out that until that happens, millions of dollars and years of time and energy can be wasted to prove these theories that are lies. And how do you give someone back a year of their life? (The author talks about some scientists that were turned off this kind of physics study solely based on their frustration, and chagrin at not being able to duplicate the false claims of the fraudster)

I think the author wants authority and others in position of power to not push so hard for papers and results to be printed. He thinks that the fraudster felt as though this was expected of him. And so he would print a paper as "fact" and then he hoped that others would prove his theories with their work. If he wasn't so pushed to print and publish, he might not have done what he did. Or maybe he would've no matter what. The author seems to think that he is not so much an EVIL scientist as a lazy and unimaginative one. No thoughts of his own, no way to make his own experiments work. So who knows, maybe he would been a fraudulent scientist no matter what.

Due to the fact that most people that read this book won't be physics geniuses, I think the author did a great job making the ideas and experiments easy for the layman to understand. That's why it gets 4 stars. Also because it talks about Los Alamos Labs, and UIUC where a friend is studying for her physics PhD right now as I type. I hope she's not trying to prove any of this guy's false claims!

But seriously, this is a geeky book. ENJOY, MY GEEK FRIENDS!

Dinner Al Fresco

2010-08-15T18:16:00.000-06:00

I gave the baby some dinner the other night and this is where she went to go eat it.

She decided an al fresco dinner would be nice this evening. Don't you love how the rabbit is always included in whatever she does?

They were checking out the view of the "Y" this fine summer evening.

The Big Six

2010-08-14T19:45:00.006-06:00

"I would totally marry you again, Ali"

What more can you ask for on your 6th wedding anniversary?

Oh, I know! How about a child that isn't sick? I would've really appreciated it if my kid didn't get a hand and mouth virus that has caused blistering hives to break out on her palms, soles, and her ENTIRE "diaper zone." They almost look like festering boils. Yech. And i guess it's pretty contagious the first few days (Which today is) so we felt like we couldn't ask anyone to babysit our HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS and PLAGUE RIDDEN child.

So instead we took her with us to the Red Lobster. We inflicted her borderline infected corpuscles on them. . . . And their lobster tank. . . .Which YES my child stuck her hand into (and almost her face too, if you were wondering)

Did you know that they will take a live lobster out of the tank and bring it around for the kids to "pet" if they would like. Those things give me the creeps out of the water. And I just realized why. They look like spiders with tails! Flailing legs, wandering antennae, a tail that curls up into itself when the manager "tickles" it. Geee geeee geee geeeeeeeesh!! NO THANK YOU!! You can take that thing right back to the kitchen. Boil it up and bring it to me with a side of butter. Otherwise I don't want to see it again. (If you were wondering, I had the Lobster Pizza. It was FREAKING AWESOME. And nothing squirmed at me as I tried to eat it)

And for an anniversary dinner, it wasn't too bad. Even with a tag-along baby. We didn't get into any fights. We didn't let the baby's constant climbing down and getting up bother us. Mostly because we kept feeding her a steady stream of snow crab and lobster pizza. I think she ate about 2 whole legs of crab herself. So I guess we know she likes seafood! We got to talk about being in San Diego (where we were married and where we went just a few months before she was born) and about how Marcelo wants to live somewhere close to the coast so he can eat seafood everyday. And even though it was our anniversary, I don't mind spending it with the sweet, sweet Bibbers.

Because, as Mar says, she is the fruit of our time together.

Happy Anniversary, Amorcito. I would totally marry you again, too!

Curly Girl

2010-08-08T08:16:00.005-06:00

At our family Reunion last week, my sister produced a book for myself and my niece to read and enjoy. It was called Curly Girl and it talks about the care and maintenance of curly hair, which all three of us have.

And while my hair is much MUCH less curlier than my sister's or my niece's, it's interesting to learn about the different things this woman suggests for those with curly hair who like to wear their hair curly.

First, she thinks that everyone with curly hair SHOULD wear their hair curly! So you should immediately throw out your flat iron, blow dryer (for straightening purposes, that is) and other like hair torture devices. She gives a few products to use, but she never comes out and gives NAMES. I wish she would just give a NAME! I mean "spray gel" what is that? Does leave in conditioner count as spray gel? What about a root booster? What about mousse? Can I put some in a spray bottle, fill it with water and call it "spray gel?" Also, she says your conditioner is very important (as you will see why in a minute) and so you need to make sure your conditioner is good quality and has all these things in it. Like emollients and humectants and the like. But she never says WHERE we can find these conditioners. Do I have to go to a salon? Does Pantene have these in them? Can you just give me a list of "acceptable" conditioners, PLEASE? (I understand, legally, why she can't do this. But it's still quite annoying for us in the real world who is trying to wrestle a 2 year old octopus-child in a shopping cart. Those people don't have 30 min to read the back of every bottle of shampoo to check if it contains the certain chemical formula she says to look for. Come on! Help a sister out!)

Moving on. She advocates throwing away ALL shampoo. She says shampoo is too rough on hair anyway, and is a disaster for curly hair which is much dryer than straight hair. So using your fingers, some conditioner and a little time in the shower is how your hair will get clean. And she says you can keep a little shampoo around for "spot cleaning" like you would spot clean a nice sweater. But never the whole head.

I don't know how I feel about all of her techniques. Like the certain way to cut the hair. I don't have hundreds of dollars to go and find the perfect hair stylist that will "talk" to each individual curl and find out where it wants to lay. Because to have everything PERFECT, I have to find the the Bob Ross of hair cutters. "Where does this tree want to be? How about right here. A happy little tree right here just coming out of the water." Nope, sorry. No time or money for that one.

However I would have to say that after about a week of doing what she says, I see a definite difference in my hair. I have less of a "halo" around my head because my hair tends to not be so dry. And I haven't had to use any dandruff shampoo for this whole time either! The moisturizing conditioner and my agitation while I scrub my head seems to be breaking up the loose skin cells and yet keeping things nice and moist. It really is making my curls cuter and more defined. I'm a believer. Until someone tells me my head smells from lack of shampoo, that is.

But seriously, what is spray gel? JUST ONE LITTLE NAME BRAND, PLEASE!?!?

Clown Pants

2010-08-04T08:06:00.000-06:00

I'm losing weight. Anyone who has seen me int he last 6 months is thinking "DUH!" But that's not what I want to talk bout today. Today I want to talk about clothes. And pants in particular. Because even though I've lost 60 pounds, I'm not ready to buy pants yet.

TIME OUT!

DO NOT SAY "THAT IS AWESOME, ALICIA!" WHATEVER YOU DO.

Here's why: before you start to congratulate me, you should know I don't need to hear it. No really. If I do, I might start thinking that 60 pounds is "good enough" when really it's not. It's not where I should be, and I want to lose more. So don't tell me that it's "terrific" and "wonderful" . Instead you should say, "only 60? I mean, it's been like 7 months already! the people on Biggest Loser pound that out in like 4 weeks!" That's the kind of things I need to hear. That's going to keep me going.

TIME IN!

Anyway, I have serious buyers remorse and shopping aversions. I have VERY large feet, so shoe shopping is out. And for many years I couldn't find anything that fit me unless it was in the "clothes for large woman who want to be skinny but don't lose weight so instead we just make our clothes in the styles that were made for skinny women but on large women they look ridiculous" store. And usually those stores are crazy expensive. Because that's all a chubby girl needs. . . LESS MONEY TO FEEL WORSE ABOUT HERSELF.

Or you can go to my favorite runner up store for "people who are cheap, nasty, or are between sizes and don't want to pay full price for a pair of pants that they hope to not fit them in 3 months". You know what I'm talking about: THE D.I.

But before I tell you about my D.I. shopping trip, you should know that I made a deal to "reward" my weight loss with different things I needed. Like a new pair of church shoes (after i lost 30 pounds) and a new pair of pants after I lost 50. HOWEVER, when I got to the point of losing 50 pounds, I realized that my clothes weren't hanging off me like I wanted. I didn't want to buy any new clothes until my pants had become "clown pants" and were only being held up by a pair of ridiculous suspenders. (Or a belt that cinches things tight and makes it all bunch up around my middle. Whichever you prefer)

So, I rely on the D.I. And I did it when my mom is in town. And there is nothing that makes my mom happier than going to the D.I. She could (and often does) spend hours there. Talking on the phone, wandering the isles, and usually coming home with some sort of slotted spoon, alarm clock radio and/or juice pitcher. Those are the kinds of things she gets. And why not? I don't blame her for going there to find cheap housewares. What I DO blame her for is taking 2 and a half hours to find those things.

Anyway, as I went to the D.I. and looked for pants, I was reminded that they have the most ridiculous labeling system known to man. Because they only have 4 categories for all clothes ALLLLLL CLOTHES. Baby clothes, child clothes, men, women, plus size. It is ALL put into one of the following categories: S, M, L or XL. So you can imagine my frustration.

And jeans, there are so many of them! So many styles, and so many old pairs. But there are really REALLY nice jeans there too. So you may be sorting through a stack of "mom pants" and the happen upon a pair of Lucky's or Silver's. And they have OF COURSE been mis-labeled and are in the "L" section but really they are like a size 6. (Because D.I. employees don't understand that some pants are labeled with NUMBERS. It's a novel concept, I know)

But that's not my real problem. My real problem is that it's been so long since I've tried on jeans I'm talking YEARS. Maybe 3+ years? Just too long. And you may ask what I wore instead of Jeans? Well, I will tell you that I didn't go out much. And when I did it was usually in some sort of PJ pants or exercise/stretch pants (I'm so sorry Judd! I'm so nasty! At least they weren't gathered with elastic at the bottom or otherwise tapered. . . usually) And here is the point of all this ranting: Because it's been so long that I've even tried on a pair of pants (let alone gone into a store that SELLS pants), I don't know what is cool anymore. Dark denim? Medium colored denim? The "faded" look? Acid wash?Do people wear flared jeans now? Boot cut? Straight leg? Is everyone wearing those "skinny" jeans? Who over the age of 11 (that's a PRE-PUBESCENT 11, mind you) looks good in those? Is that what I have to wear now? Does it have to say "Ed Hardy" down the side or have holes in the knees?

I just don't know. So when I found several pairs that would work for me, I tried to decide which were the "coolest" and buy those. To judge what the current styles in pants were, I decided to look around at the D.I. to see what others were wearing.

HINT: NEVER LOOK TO SHOPPERS IN D.I. FOR ANY KIND OF FASHION RULES! There were plaid shorts and lots of camel toe to be seen. \

Not helpful. I had to wing it on my own. I think i did a good enough job.

In any event, I hope to say that they have become clown pants and are falling off of me in 3 months. Here's hoping, right?

And because my GOOD GOOD friend Lynn writes me and tells me she misses my blog and then sends me hilarious videos to inspire me to write posts, you can thank her for this video. I think that ALL my Body Rolls should have a song about them.

Jealousy

2010-06-30T12:05:00.004-06:00

I get jealous when I read the blogs of others and their children who are the same age as mine (or even younger!) are speaking in full sentences.

And my child still screams for an hour when I can't understand that she wants milk based on her pointing and grunting.

Makes me want to kill someone.

No wonder jealousy is a deadly sin.

Slappy

2010-06-27T21:10:00.003-06:00

If I hear the following statement one more time, I'm going to lose it.

Someone in R.S. raises their hand and says:

"I always thought I would go on a mission. I planned for it and told everyone that I would. But then I got married. And I had to tell myself that I would just be serving a different kind of mission. I mean, it wasn't what I wanted. I always wanted to go on a mission! But I guess other things were in the cards for me. . . ."

The next person I hear say that, gets me, in their face screaming LIAR!!! and then they get slapped. Maybe verbally slapped, or maybe physically. I can't decided which yet. But there will be slappage.

No, no, no no no no NONONONONONO.

If you really REALLY wanted to go on a mission then YOU WOULD'VE GONE ON A MISSION. My mission (and every other mission in the world for that matter) was full of girls who had other things distracting them. They had boyfriends, debts, schooling, family, money issues and physical issues. And you know what? They didn't let that pull them away from a mission, because THEY REALLY WANTED TO GO.

I want you to just accept the fact that you weren't that into it. That you thought it would be something "cool" to do if you had nothing better to do, if no potential marriage prospect was on the horizon. As long as things all fit into a nice little package for your convenience. But once things didn't go as you expected, when you met someone when you were TWENTY, you just were KICKING yourself because "BOOOO HOOOO!! Now I can't go on a mission. He's the ONE!! I'm not supposed to go on a mission if I have the possibility of getting married! That's what everyone says! And everyone knows heaven cries a little when there is another 23 year old female RM in the world"

Slap, slap, slappity, slappage.

Other comments that will get you a slap from me:

-"I really wanted to get my degree, but we thought it was better that HE finish and not me. I'm just at home with the kids. What do I need a diploma for?"

-"I never thought that we would get pregnant so fast! I mean, we didn't really use birth control, but so-and-so didn't either and it took them MONTHS to get pregnant. So we didn't really take precautions. But I'm SO SURPRISED we got pregnant!"

-"I deserve ________." No, you don't deserve it, whatever it is. You deserve things when you EARN them. Like working for them, paying for them. You know, EARNING THINGS. Just being alive and being annoying doesn't constitute earning.

There are lots of other things that will get you slapped in my mind. And if you aren't careful, maybe even slapped in real life.

Because seriously? PEOPLE WHO REALLY WANT TO GO ON MISSIONS DON'T LET ANYTHING STOP THEM. THEY JUST GOOOOOOOOOO!

I'm done now. I need to go take a nap and sleep off the rage.

P.S. My best guy friend in high school used to call me "Slappy". So the title of this makes me laugh as I read it.

P.P.S. I have a whole different rant about how RM girls know that not every male RM is created equal. And that we can see through a line of B.S. and know that just because you were a zone leader (OR AP!!) doesn't mean you didn't try to scam on all the members in your areas. You disgust me, and I have no respect for you. But go ahead and tell everyone that you were an AP. But I have a picture of you DANCING. And I sure don't think that's MO TAB playing while you do the Salsa and Merengue.

Oh, I guess I got that additional rant out of my system right then. I guess I don't have to come back and make a whole other post about it. Good for me!

Slappy, OUT!

It's not me. . . It's you.

2010-06-24T11:26:00.000-06:00

I have a serious pride problem. I'm aware of it, and I'm working on it. Just so you know. If one of the things you think when you read my blog is "MAN! this girl is really smug and sure things a lot of herself" Just be aware that I agree with you. I'm trying to be better.

And in accordance with this goal, I have decided to un-subscribe to certain blogs. See, there are certain blogs that I read only to get offended, or to judge people, or to feel superior, or to mock them in my mind. Usually they are the blogs of friends of friends, or blogs that Reader has recommended to me because we live in the same area and subscribe to the same blogs. So I don't even KNOW the people that I'm judging. I just look at what they write and fume to myself that these people have no idea what they are talking about. And they are cocky in their ignorance. Makes me want to find them and punch them in the throat.

But the thing is, I never comment on these blogs. I never let them know that I am reading them and I just fume silently. BUT I ALWAYS GO BACK! Why do I do this? Is my need for self-declared superiority so large that I need to feed it daily by calling other people "twats" in my mind? Apparently so. But no more. I'm cutting myself off cold turkey.

If any of you are reading this post and thinking "Is she talking about my blog?" the answer is no. If we have met, exchanged emails, or if you have even ONCE made a post on my blog, I am not talking about you. Like I said, these are people that I have never met in life, who I've never exchanged an email with, who don't even know I exist. So it shouldn't be that hard to cut them out, right? That's what I'm telling myself.

But now where will I get my daily dose of snootiness? If all goes well, it will be gone shortly. It's good for me. Pride never helped anyone.

Why haven't I done this sooner?

The Cabin

2010-06-23T05:12:00.000-06:00

Mom is selling the cabin. It's sad, but we knew the good times had to come to an end sometime. We have had that cabin for more than 1o years and we all have some great memories there. My husband has said that it's in the top 5 most favorite places in the world for him. He loves to be outside, relaxing under the trees. It is the embodiment of vacation and it will be missed. Here are some of my favorite things to do while there and the things I will miss most:

* Wakeboarding
* Drinking root beer (and letting my mom have "just a sip" of it herself)
* Falling asleep on a hammock after trying to read a book
* Playing SkipBo with my sisters
* Eating licorice
* Leaving the lid off the licorice tub so it gets hard and super chewy, and then listening to everyone whine about how SOMEONE left the lid off the licorice tub. So then I try to just take out a FEW pieces and leave them to get hard. But they always seem to disappear before I can go retrieve them. So then I just take the lid off the whole tub as retribution.
* Getting sunburned because I always forget to slather at least ONE part of my body and then taking a shower followed by a long nap to let the heat soak in
* Trying to convince my husband to get in the water
* Jogging down to the boat dock and then jumping in the water
* Smores and "skit night" by the campfire
* "Speerneck" stories
* Taco Bombs. And BFTT's. Actually, I don't think I will be missing those.
* One bathroom for 20-30 people
* My Aunt Lynda's crazy CRAZY antics.. And I mean crazy. Whether it's trying to convince people to eat the left over pizza crusts from 3 nights ago, or making clothes out of pillowcases, there is never a dearth of mocking material when she is around.
* Fresh blackberry pies
* Walking/riding down to the "swimming hole"
* A fridge so full of food it cannot close properly or even chill the food adequately.
* And finally, the battle that IS the yearly photo. I mean, we've only been doing this for 10+ years, but for some reason, something always goes wrong. Usually we know EXACTLY when the photo will be the first day of camping. "Hey, don't forget, family photo Thursday at 4:00 pm". But then there is always SOMETHING. Like a couple of kids are down at the swimming hole, or someone decides to leave early so we have to take the photo a day before, or someone forgot to ask a neighbor to take the picture so we scramble to find someone at the last moment. Or my personal favorite, last year, where mom decided to make dinner and then RIGHT BEFORE she announces it's picture time. So the food waits and gets cold for 45 minutes while we try to find a photographer and then proceed to give her 97 cameras to take a picture with each one. It's always something.

So here are some pictures of Trinity Center 2009. The last year we would all have those crazy wild times, even though we didn't know it at the time. (Thanks to my cousin Dakota. I stole them all from her)

The genesis of the FAMILY PHOTO. Notice how everyone is confused, there is someone trying to direct things, babies are crying, people are getting annoyed:

But then we always pull it together at the end:

Farewell cabin! Enjoy the next people who own you. But I'm sure they won't love you as much as we did.

Home

2010-06-19T19:38:00.000-06:00

It's so nice coming home from a long trip. Even though we live in a little postage stamp of a home, it's ours. We have our routines here, and they are comfortable. It's nice being able to get back to normal.

Where were we you ask? Well the Bibbers my mother and I went to Missouri for about a week. We dropped off the coveted grandfather clock for my sister Sarah to pick up at a later date, and we got to see my brother's youngest daughter get baptized. We got to go to the lake and eat real Kansas City BBQ and it was just a great time all around. Here are some highlights from the trip:

* Taking off just hours after my baby's 2nd birthday party. (Party will be saved for another post) We wanted to get on the road sooner but there was a big issue with the trailer we were driving and the lights on it not working. Uhaul helped us out, though and we soon got on the road.

* Driving all through the night to get to Missouri Monday morning. There were a few times that the Baby screamed bloody murder because she wanted her mother (who was driving) and she wasn't being properly served. My baby gets HYSTERICAL and will do things to get my attention. She'll rip out her hair, stick her fingers down her throat to make herself gag/wretch/vomit, scratch herself, bang things and kick the DVD player. She knows that ALWAYS gets my attention. The good thing is that by the end of the week long trip, we had been in the car so much and traveling so much that she was used to it. The trip back to Utah had no screaming meltdowns at all!

* Going to the lake and getting up on a wakeboard! That hasn't happened in years. Maybe since I was married. I just gained too much weight, and our boat isn't the best for pulling people up on a wakeboard. But my brother's boat has a great tower on it and it's as easy as pulling yourself up on a ladder. I was so shocked I got up. I went around for a while but I was so tired from the previous day (when I went around on the super tube behind the boat) that I didn't have the strength to go very long. Next time for sure. But I got up! I'm just happy I got that far. Especially because as I strapped on the boots and slid into the water I IMMEDIATELY wanted to be out. That old nervousness of "you aren't going to get up, you will make a fool in front of everyone" was there. And I really didn't want that. I think I said "Oh, I really don't want to do this" but I stuck it out and did it! Hooray for me!

* Texting Lynn while at a BBQ place to ask her the proper protocol of saying "Yes Ma'am" to someone. I feel like I'm being rude when I don't reciprocate a "ma'am". I was told that if the person is older I should always say it, but THEN I got worried that I would offend someone by using ma'am when they were younger than me, and thereby telling them that I thought they were old. Lynn let me know that it doesn't really happen, and that if you are older than them and you still say it, they just look at it as respect. (Did I get that right Lynn?) I still feared doing it because I thought it would sound fake. But now I know the rules.

* Coming back from an outing to the park only to find a WATER MOCCASIN (also known as the COTTONMOUTH) snake chilling in the front yard. Actually, chilling about 3 feet from where my baby was just walking. OHHHHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYYYYY CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!! We ran inside, locked the door and my sister in law proceeded to call everyone she could think of until she found a ward member to come over and kill it. Which is a big deal for her because Tina is a big animal advocate. Example? the day before I found a spider on the floor and told my 14 year old niece to take care of it (I don't do spiders, remember?) and they PICKED UP THAT SPIDER AND PUT IT OUTSIDE! ZZHHHHHHGGGGEEEE (audible shiver) But luckily they were smart enough or cautious enough not to take chances with one of the most aggressive and deadly North American snakes that was just chilling out right by the front door to their house. The snake got it's head taken off. And I rejoiced in knowing my child would not die that day.

Just so you know, while Tina was calling trying to find a snake wrangler, I took the broom from the kitchen and unscrewed the handle. I was not going to let that thing get away. So if it started to move, I was prepared to go out there and beat it to death. Seriously, it was FEET away from my child. I was mad, and it deserved to die.

*Going outside to pick Mulberries. They are pretty good, if you can look over the inch worms that you have to pick out (or eat) and the little stems that come off with the berry. You can just spit those out after you eat them. Don't try to take them off the berry, because it squashes the juice out. But going into the back woods of the Missouri wilderness might get you in trouble. Which brings me to. . .

*My mom got a little bit of poison ivy on her face just to the right of her mouth, close to her chin. (I call it the "zit spot" because every month I get one JUST ONE zit right there. At least it's only one, right? But isn't 30 too old to get a zit when I'm PMSing?) Anyway, as we were driving home and were pretty close to the Wyoming border, my mom says, "This poison ivy is really itching my face. But I'm doing good not to touch it. But I have another little itchy thing in my eye lashes. Can you look and see if I have poison ivy in my eye?" And being the inquisitive nice daughter that I was, I agreed. I should've refused. Because as I looked in her eye, I noticed that her lashes were particularly thick in one area. And as she blinked, they moved in response. And then I saw it. . .The tick in my mother's eye.

Now, I want you all to go get a mirror. Or look at a butter knife you have retrieved from the kitchen. But you need to know where this tick was. Take your eyelid, and flip it up as if you were going to do that hideously grotesque and macabre act of flipping your eyelids up on themselves. Don't do it all the way, just gently tilt up your lid until you can see the teeny tiny ridge of skin running JUST UNDER your eyelashes. The minutely small piece of skin between your lashes and your EYE BALL. And you will know where that tick had its nasty Lyme disease-carrying head buried.

My mom says she wishes she could've preserved forever the look on my face when I realized what it was. I was horrified, and couldn't even bring myself to look at it, especially when it moved its legs. Bleeeggch. I'm getting queasy now just thinking about it. We were going to wait till the next gas fill up so my brother could pull it out himself, but after about a 5 second wait I just couldn't think of that thing feasting SO CLOSE TO HER EYEBALL for another second and I said I would just get it.

If anyone knows anything about pulling out a tick, you know that you have to get the whole thing making sure the head doesn't detach. So I grasped that thing, and gave it a gentle pull thinking that was all I would need to do. Nope, it was really drilled in there. So I just pulled harder and success!! And I was pretty sure I got the head too. That thought was confirmed when I looked at the thing and saw 2 chunks of my mom's eye flesh still visible from its nasty little pincers. Mom bled a little, but was very VERY happy to have it out. She said even with the little blood in her eye it was much more comfortable than having it on her itching her. AND SUCKING HER BLOOD I should like to add.

For the rest of the ride home I kept checking my (and my baby's) hair and all over our bodies for the hidden ticks I knew were at that moment giving us Lyme disease. I didn't find any but that's probably because they saw the death of their comrade and ran for their lives.

* And finally, you will ALL think this is gross, but it made me just so happy. When I got into the upstairs shower that all the girls share, I noticed that there was hair on the wall. Isn't that awesome? ALLLLL my sisters put their hair on the wall while they are taking a shower. I don't know where we all learned it. Probably from each other. But it's so nice to know that the same trait is being passed down to my niece. And you should know that her mother (my sister in law) specifically TOLD her daughter to put her hair on the wall. Because after they pulled a hair ball out of the drain that was the size and shape of a large rat, they figured that was the best way to avoid it in the future. Makes sense to me! That's why I do it!

I love my family. It's good being home. I can't wait for the family reunion in July!

Scarred Witless

2010-06-12T19:22:00.005-06:00

So I got a call from our second counselor in the Relief Society today. She asked if I could substitute teach in R.S. next week. I of course immediately agreed. Because relief society lessons in our ward are usually really bad (since the bishop's wife got released. She gave the best lessons) and the teachers have a hard time reigning in the horrible comments. Seriously, there was a comment about a serial rapist the other day. So beyond the scope of the lesson on the word of wisdom!!!

So I find myself rolling my eyes a lot and thinking I could do better.

Then she says, "so the lesson is #12. . . .The Atonement"

Gulp. Gasp. Choke. Vomit a little in mouth, quickly swallow it and say, "Ohh! Great!"

Someone is being served up a hefty HEFTY slice of humble pie. With ice cream. You know, "a la mode" style. And then a big portion of humble cobbler, also with ice cream. And humble brownies with mint frosting on top. I'm going to eat some serious humble calories next week.

Stupid, stupid girl.

P.S. I have birthday pictures and travel log to post. But as you might suspect, my mind is a little scattered as of 6 pm this afternoon. Stupid girl, indeed.

Make Way For The Birthday Boy!!

2010-05-18T09:48:00.000-06:00

Marcelo turned 30 on Saturday. Last year we weren't together for his birthday and that was sad. But this year I remembered 5 days before the big day that not only was it his birthday, but he would be turning 30! Something had to be done, and quickly.

And I decided to go SUPER ambitious and try for a surprise party. I don't know what I was thinking. Marcelo can sniff out a surprise or a secret better than any CIA agent. And once he suspects, there is no going back. He ferrets out the secret and then it is a secret no longer. But he didn't suspect a thing!

I don't know if it's because I planned it at the lat moment. Or because I only invited a very few people. But it was so great. He was 100% surprised and had a great time. For food we had:

Chips and Salsa
BBQ beef
BBQ chicken legs
Carmel corn
Rice

And for dessert we had brownies and ice cream. Instead of a cake I made him a pan of cinnamon rolls because he prefers those. Here are just a FEW pictures. I was really busy barbecuing and making sure that everything was perfect that I didn't really get to take any pictures.

These are the guys that helped me distract Marcelo. Cris kept him working for most of the day so he stayed away, and Juan Carlos made fake plans with him in the afternoon so he would for sure come home on time.

Here are some of the kids having a great time.

And here he is blowing out his birthday candles. With a little help from the Bibi. Notice how her cheeks are all puffed out ready for blowing? Perfect.

And then we ate and had a great time. We danced a little salsa, ate lots of food and thoroughly hated ourselves the next day. Well, maybe that's just me!

Happy Birthday Amorcito.

30 Before 30

2010-05-03T12:00:00.000-06:00

I just found these two lists online. And seeing is how I am turning 30 this year, I thought they were insightful. Except for the alcohol parts. But anyway, here they are. (I found these lists at thefrisky.com in case you were wondering)

30 Skills Every Woman Should Have Before Turning 30:
1. Hard-boil an egg
2. Diplomatically tell Mom to butt out
3. Ace a job interview
4. Ask a man out
5. Send a thoughtful thank-you note
6. Listen to a friend in need
7. Ask for help
8. Effectively end an unhealthy relationship (romantic or platonic in nature)
9. Beautifully wrap a gift
10. Say “no” gracefully
11. Whip up a great dinner with the five items in her fridge
12. Forget pleasing him, by 30 a woman should be able to tell her man exactly how to please her
13. Sew a button
14. Mix a kick-ass cocktail
15. Take off her bra without removing her shirt
16. Apply lip gloss in the dark
17. Balance her checkbook
18. Create a budget
19. Find the best deal
20. Negotiate a salary and/or pay raise
21. Read a map
22. Hail a cab
23. Say something in French just for the hell of it
24. Apologize when she’s wrong
25. Dress for her body type
26. Change a flat (or know whom to call to come change it)
27. Spot a fake (handbag, diamond, potential friend …)
28. Feign interest
29. Know what to tip on a $25 dinner bill
30. Hold a baby (Hey, someone you know is bound to have one sooner or later.)

30 Things Every Woman Should Quit Doing By 30

Buying clothes from the junior section.
Forgetting her parents’ birthdays.
Making out with her BFFs at bars for attention.
Making out with her boyfriend at bars for attention.
Filling her bed with stuffed animals (really, even one is too many).
Carrying a torch for anyone she hasn’t seen in the last five years.
Rebelling against her parents for the sake of rebelling against her parents.
Declaring an entire gender “all jerks.”
Holding a grudge against anyone who wronged her in high school.
Skipping regular gyno exams.
Going to bed without washing and moisturizing her face.
Being “that person” who had a bit too much to drink at the office party.
Crushing on Justin Bieber.
Thinking she’s got it all figured out.
Calling her father “daddy.”
Engaging in sibling rivalry.
Trying to get by on her looks.
Living paycheck to paycheck.
Expecting a man/knight in shining armor to swoop in and save her.
Aimlessly jumping from job to job.
Using MySpace to pick up guys.
Expecting a man to do all the wooing.
Wishing she had someone else’s life.
Expecting everyone to drop everything because it’s her birthday ...
... or because her “boyfriend” of two weeks dumped her.
Measuring her self-worth by a number on the scale.
Being cheap.
Quitting a job without having a new one lined up first (especially in this economy!).
Blaming her mother for all her issues.
Romanticizing her 20s.

So what do you think of the lists? What would you add? What would you take away? i.e. what do you think it's still ok to do after 30? Or what skill is stupid no matter what your age? For my part boiling an egg is almost useless to me because the smell of hard boiled eggs makes me want to gag.

And I know I have things I need to quit doing before I'm 30. Like watching too much Reality TV. And the going to bed without washing my face? I'm SOOOO that person.

So please give me your input. I'm dying to know! I have a little over 4 months to rid myself of it!

GO GO GO!!

Make checks payable to me

2010-05-01T22:35:00.000-06:00

So when I get done working out, I hate how sweat drips down my head and down the back of my neck. It creeps me out. Neck issues, remember.

Side note: I have just come to realize I have another "body issue" part. That is the back of my upper arms. You know what I'm talking about. That sensitive skin on the back of your upper arms just close to your armpit. The part that wobbles when you wave? The "chicken wing" part? Ohh yeah, now you know. I DETEST anything touching me there. If a shirt hits me at just that spot I have to get rid of it. And the fastest way my child can drive me crazy is by coming up to me and trying to get me to stand up and follow her by touching that part of my body. There was a time when she would touch it about 20 times every day. I wasn't a very good mother because I had to walk myself away from her to get over the creepies when she would do that.

But back to my first neurosis: Things touching my neck. So the sweat drips down and it gives me the heebie jeebies. But I had a brilliant idea. Yesterday after my workout, I grabbed a long length of paper towel and then put it around my head "mammy" style. (Does the fact that I'm white and I described a head wrapping as "mammy style" make me a racist? I just wanted you all to have an accurate mental picture. But I swear I'm not a racist. You believe me, right?)

I put it under the back of my head and tied it up on top of my forehead at the hairline. It worked awesomely! It collected all the sweat, nothing dripped down my back and the heebie jeebies were gotten by none! Seriously, someone needs to start paying me for my ideas. Make checks payable to "Alicia, the genius".

Oh wait, now that I think about it I guess what I just described was a disposable headband. A headband made from cutting down trees. Instead of the poly-cotton things that athletes have been wearing for ages and made super popular in the 80's by a certain Senor MacEnroe.

Hmmm. Maybe have to rethinking this genius idea. But you can still pay me if you would like. I would not turn down a few $ coming from anyone!

Sure your child is great, but can they. . .

2010-04-30T22:13:00.001-06:00

I know all of you think you have the greatest child in the world. You think they are the smartest or the most clever. You think they are the cutest and that when they learn to sing songs they hear they are going to be the next Beethoven.

I mean, we all have bragging rights. My kid walked at 8 months. Your child probably could put together whole sentences with complex prepositional phrases at 13 months. (oh, on a side note my child now says "si" every once in a while. Actually, it's not really "si". She says "gee" or "dee". But it's something!!! The funny thing is that she can TOTALLY make the "sssss" sound. We ask her " what does a snake say" and she does a little lispy "sth sth sth" sound. Adorable. But she won't put it with the "eeee" sound. Strange. Back to topic) And some of you boast a child that taught themselves how to play the piano or read at age 2.

I say this is all well and fine. But I trump you ALL. Case closed, pack it in, this show is over.

My child can fart on command.

She does it to make me laugh. Whenever we hear her fart we say "gasiosa"! and she knows what it is. And so she makes herself fart just to hear us say gasiosa and laugh. She usually does it in the bath or just getting out of the bath. And one of these days she's going to strain herself too hard and poop in my arms. I just know it.

But until then I'm not going to stop her. Because seriously? A child that can fart on demand before her 2nd birthday? This kid has "going places" written all over her. Just you wait.

Snow in April

2010-04-30T10:19:00.007-06:00

I don't mind the snow in April. Really I don't. I lets me stay inside and clean (for some reason I always get really "nesty" when the weather is crappy) And we all know how I feel about the rain.

But I think the biggest reason I don't mind the snow in April is because I know that it won't last. Even though it is quite late in the season to get snow, that still doesn't matter for what we have coming up. Trips to the lake, trips to Missouri with my mom and finally fitting into that bathing suit I bought last year. All good things to look forward to.

I think that this is the same reason I don't have horrible memories of high school. I know this seems like a stretch, but follow me here. I know lots of people out there have horrible thoughts and feelings about school. Many of you (like me) changed schools when you were in Jr High and High school and that didn't help you at all with the fitting in.

Just the other day my sister and I were talking about this and she's is thinking about pulling her kids out and home schooling them when they are middle school aged. She just doesn't want her kids to be exposed to all the stuff that they will most likely get in a normal Jr High. And while I agree with her on that aspect, one of her arguments is that school at that age is rough on kids' self esteem. And I just don't see that. I never had that.

I guess I was always someone that had a friend and a past time. I always had someone to eat lunch with, and I had sports after school to keep me busy. Not only that, I was kind of a nerd, so I enjoyed going to classes and I enjoyed learning with the rest of my nerdy friends. We all had the same classes together, and so we all got to be "class friends" at least. Maybe we didn't hang out outside the class, but if I saw them in the hallway they wouldn't spit on me or shove my head in the toilet at least.

However, I think the biggest reason I don't have bad memories of high school is because I never wanted to be something I wasn't (except thinner. I always wanted to be thinner!) and I never wanted to be in a different group. I never looked at the popular kids and said "oh, I want to be in their group" nor did I think that with the Emo kids, the skaters, the band groupies, the goths or the cowboys. I was just happy being where I was. I was happy talking to my friends, hanging out with them on the weekend and playing sports. I was just happy with what I had and with what I was.

And I knew it would all end soon. I knew that I would graduate and most likely go to BYU. If not there, I knew I would go away to SOME college. I knew that I would leave my high school behind and I would continue on with my life and not really have to worry about the clique I was in (or wasn't in) in high school. I knew that it would all end someday and when that happened it wouldn't matter if I was a goth or a cheerleader. It wouldn't matter what I did every weekend. All that I take with me from high school is a love of geometry, a love of Shakespeare and good memories of volleyball games and chips and ranch at my friend's house while watching silly Austin Powers movies. It was just. . .nothing!

There's nothing to get all worked up about, no reason to lament and sob about what was not. It's done. It was high school and it's over now. It was just a little snow in April.
(The view from my balcony today.)

Peanut Butter Cup

2010-04-29T23:33:00.000-06:00

Ahh Leatherby's. You are so delicious and so evil at the same time. Why do you make your Peanut Butter sauce so delicious? And why do you make your fries so soft and crispy at the same time? Why is your awesome ice cream so addictive? I curse the day I met you, Leatherby's. Or should I say LEATHERFACE'S?

Well, Bahama reunions, however small, are always fun. It was only the BAA of the group, but we still had a good time.

I have no pictures of the event. I got some from Amy, but for some reason they won't upload on my computer. Boo, Blogspot, BOO ON YOU. I did bring my own camera, but my child put her sticky ice cream fingers on my lens and I couldn't clean it fast enough to get cute kid shots of my own. Oh well. Not like you care. I'll let you know they were cute. And I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but my child is the most exotic looking of the whole bunch. Her father must be a G.I.

Oh, I'll make it a tradition. . . .TWICE. Don't you worry your little Leatherface's head about that.

Just like Mom used to make

2010-04-23T10:30:00.001-06:00

I have a new cooking secret. Want to know what it is? Well, I'll tell you: I just think about what my mother in law would make.

I know that my husband and his mother don't have the typical "mama's boy" past. Their past is slightly checkered and dark at parts. At one point when he was just 8 years old, he went to live with another family for 2 years because he just couldn't be in his house anymore. But my husband is a great example to me of love and forgiveness. He loves his mother unconditionally and can see the good in her. And she is a great woman. She really is very strong and wonderful. And even though she scares the crap out of me and annoys me when I'm down there, the truth is that I very intimidated by her. And I fear that I will never be as great or as strong as she is. And so maybe some of my fear gets switched to annoyance. Just maybe. . . hmmm. Something else to work out at therapy at a later date. When I start going to therapy, maybe?

However, one of those things that we both love about her? Well, she is an AMAZING cook.

When I was in Ecuador about a year ago, I was not happy. But now that I'm home I'm even less happy because I didn't take advantage of the time I had to learn from her and take notes on different foods. I was more concerned with feeding my baby and the liquid poo that always seemed to be pouring from her diaper. And so at mealtimes, I just sat down and had a bowl of something placed in front of me. (Just so you know, everyone got a bowl placed in front of them. It would've been more strange if I were in the kitchen helping. Her kitchen is HER domain. None shall pass)

But I feel really inferior when it comes to cooking for Marcelo. But ONLY for Marcelo. Like if I had an American husband he would most likely enjoy casseroles and other similar American fare. Mashed potatoes and green salad. But he just doesn't like that. And while he has been trained VERY well to always eat what I make, I can tell that he doesn't like certain things. And so I never make them again. Also, I like to know when Marcelo is coming home because most of my meals are best served fresh from the oven. So if I miss the time, either he has to wait for dinner, or get it cold and not as good. So little by little my bank of recipes has been whittled down to almost nothing.

And then inspiration struck. It happened while Marcelo and I were watching an episode of "No Reservations" on the Travel Channel. Anthony Bourdain was in, (of course) ECUADOR!!! We really enjoyed watching him eating chifles and intestine and seafood and aji. (UMMMM AJI!!! I seriously just salivated typing that. How I miss you, aji) Then Tony said something that struck me he said, "oh, I love anything that's been simmering in a pot all day. Those are the best kinds of meals."

And I realized, that's what Ecuadorian cooking is! It's a lot of "one pot" style soups and sauces. Things that you can cook for 4o minutes or 1 1/2 hours depending on when people arrive home. You don't have to worry about when they will come home exactly, because it will be simmering away when they get there. It just gets better the longer it sits in the pot! You can add the tough cuts of meat with the bone still in there, and it all just dissolves beautifully. (I tried this with a big cross cut of cow leg and Marcelo was in heaven when the marrow was still in the bone and he got to suck it out. Seriously, he was so happy) It's stress free cooking, and I was stressing out about it!! This needed to change.

So now I just try to remember all the meals my mother served us.This is how my thought process works: "Ok, dinner ready around 7:30. What would be good in a pot. Chicken? Yes. What else? Carrots? Sure! Peas? Ok, at the end. . .What would my mother in law put in there? A potato, of course. Maybe a yucca if I have one. . .hmmm. . ." And so it goes.

Meal times around here have gotten much MUCH better and much less stressful. And while I will never EVER compare with the cooking skills of my mother in law, I have stopped worrying about it. We both have our talents and there is no comparison on either end. I mean, I'd like to see her whip up cinnamon rolls (WITH the cream cheese frosting included, of course) in less than an hour like I can.

Game. set and MATCH.

. . . Can You?

2010-04-14T19:52:00.000-06:00

So after nearly 3 months of speech therapy I can tell you that she's had almost no difference in her speech. Oh, I know what you think when you look at those videos. And that's pretty much how it goes around here. Babbling non-stop her nonsensical words and wildly gesticulating. And yet, no words.

I mean, we are talking basic things like "yes" and "milk". I think I read somewhere that by 2 years your kid should speak like 100 words. I have heard her say 2. They are "no" and "esta". But she's great at recognizing words. She knows around 20 animals and can point to them. She knows colors and shapes. And she knows hundreds of commands. I would say that when it comes to recognizing and responding, she can recognize over 200 words and phrases. But what good does that do me when she's hungry and she won't tell me but instead whines non stop? I mean, I can ask her if she's hungry, and she makes a "uh huh" sound (again, she doesn't say "SI" but just makes a sound) but that's not what we are going for! We want words here!!

Sunday I asked her nursery teachers about her language. We are very blessed that one of her nursery teachers got back from a mission to Argentina less than a year ago and loves speaking Spanish to her. And so I asked him if they notice that she speaks when not around me. They said that she just babbles and babbles but nothing recognizable comes out. They said that last week she went and sat down next to Elissa (a little girl about 1 year older than her) and just blabbed and blabbed for minutes. After she left, the teachers asked Elissa what Bibi said to her. She shrugged her shoulders and said, "I don't know". Nice

But the real kicker is what happened a few weeks ago at the park. A little boy was playing with her and she was running around and just generally not talking. And he said to her "I can talk. . . . Can you?" OHHHH!!! BUURRRNNN!!!!

No, junior. The answer is no. She cannot talk. But if you want someone to show you how to destroy the house while your mom is in the shower, she's your girl

Butter

2010-04-13T17:45:00.025-06:00

Today before Marcelo left for school he said, "what is the baby eating"? And I said, "butter". And he jumped up shocked and ran to where she was eating on the counter. As he was running I further clarified, "well, she's eating a piece of bread with butter, but she picks all of the butter off and just eats it plain."

Here is some video attesting to that fact. While I was in the shower, she got into the freezer and found the butter that I keep frozen there. And here is what I found when I got out:

Seriously, if I let this kid eat nothing but dairy all day, she would be in heaven. Cottage cheese, ice cream, yogurt, milk, cream cheese, string cheese, or just plain cheese from the bag. Actually, I buy cheese in bulk and use my food processor to shred it and then I freeze it. And again, while I was taking a shower she got in the freezer and was eating the frozen cheese straight from the bag. That wasn't a problem. I mean how much cheese can a 2 year old eat in 7 minutes?

That is a picture of here enjoying the frozen cheese, and then she's telling me to "back off" so she can eat more. And, if she has an accomplice in the form of a constantly ravenous dog, well, then this is the kind of damage she can do: That whole bag was emptied in 8 minutes. Disgusting.

More food related news: Here is what happened when I was vacuuming the other day.

She found this little bag of flour and seasonings (some dredging flour) in the freezer. Are you seeing a pattern here? I think we need a freezer lock.

Some cute pictures of a baby in a crock pot? Why yes, I have those too!

(She's eating cold, day old rice right from the pan. She loves that!)

And finally, my last "food related" presentation is what happens when you decide to make pooping "me time". I still maintain that I should get to poop in peace, but it's difficult to rationalize that when I come out and find scenes like this.

Happy eating!

Here's some extra credit: If your child goes silent for a while, you can assume she has found a tube of chap stick and is trying to eat it slash apply it.

And if it's cherry chap stick it counts as a fruit in your daily food pyramid.

Delicious!

More Overt Racism

2010-04-06T17:57:00.005-06:00

Have you seen Disney's Peter Pan in a while. OH MY GOODNESS!! You will be shocked at the "Injun" portion of the movie.

The phrase "Me smokem' peace pipe" is used. Also "Hoow" and "squaw" and calling Native Americans "The Red Man". How has the ACLU not banned this movie yet? It's good racist times.

On a similar note, Lady and the Tramp has those Italian guys that are also quite stereotypical. But for some reason, they make me laugh. Super Mario accent? Funny. Why is that? Maybe it's because of Tina Fey. "I want-a make-a the prank-a phone call"

Anyway. I'm going to try to teach my kids not to be racist. Well, I'm going to tell them not to "war whoop" in the presence of people.

Or ever, really.

A Real Conversation With My Dear Husband-Session #3

2010-04-02T07:52:00.001-06:00

Scene: Our house kitchen, Saturday night. No food prepared, Marcelo hungry

Me: Do you want me to make something? It might take a while, but I can have something ready in about 30 minutes.

Marcelo: Hmmm, thirty minutes? (I can hear in his voice that he is hungry now)

Me: Well, I have fresh rice and salsa. You can have that if you want.

Marcelo: (silence) What?

Me: Rice and salsa. You know like we have when I prepare with meat on the side. Except I don't have any meat.

Marcelo: Just rice and salsa? WHAT?

Me: I LIKE IT!! And it's the best part of the meal anyway. You sure you don't want it?

Marcelo: (Silence, meanwhile looks at me like I am crazy) . . . .Uhhh, no.

AND SCENE

You should know, my salsa is hommade and very much like a "pico de gallo" you will find at other restaurants. But it has no jalapenos, and hence no heat at all. 4 simple ingredients: Cilantro, tomatoes, onion and limes. Oh and salt. But it's how you PREPARE it. Lots of lime. Let the lime soak into the onions after you wash them and scrunch them up. IT'S A PROCESS, I TELL YA!!! It's basically a lime soaked infusion that will make you happy. If you like lime, which we do around here.

And I love it on top of rice. Especially hot rice. The hot rice and cold salsita? SO GOOD. Something like pie ala mode. Hot pie and cold ice cream. So, just, yum. If you are lucky I'll make it for you someday. If not you just have to dream about it from my writings here.

Happy eating!

A Real Conversation With My Dear Husband-Session #2

2010-03-30T10:06:00.002-06:00

Place: Provo
Time: 11 pm last Saturday night
Doing: Me driving home from the grocery store.

Phone: Bring! Bring! Bring!
Me: Hello
Marcelo: Are you close to getting home?
Me: Yes, I'm just passing the Marriott Center. I'll be home in a few minutes. . . . Some other mindless banter about what I bought at the grocery store. . . .
Marcelo:(after this banter, some minutes later). So hurry up and get home. The dog puked on the carpet.
Me: WHAT!! Why didn't you tell me that 3 minutes ago? Did you clean it up?
Marcelo: What did you give her? It looks brown.
Me: Well her food is brown. And when she eats it it changes color and shape. Does it look like her food
Marcelo: Oh yeah, I guess it does. So are you getting home soon?
Me: CLEAN IT UP!!! Get it off the carpet before it soaks in!
Marcelo: I mean, what did you feed her? I told you and told you not to feed her table food. And now she did and she threw up.
Me: Are you cleaning it up?
Marcelo: NO!!
Me: Why are you yelling at me right now! Please clean it up before it soaks in and stains the carpet. PLEASE?
Marcelo: Well, you need to learn not to feed her any food other than her dog food!
Me: (SEETHING AT THIS POINT) PLEASE JUST CLEAN IT UP!! Yelling at me right now isn't going to clean the puke up! Can you just clean it up and then from now on I promise she won't get any more food from me! JUST GET IT OFF THE CARPET!!
Marcelo: [Silence]
Me: Hello? . . . . Hello? . . . . Hello? (looking at phone for 30 seconds, seeing that he hasn't hung up yet, but that he's not answering.) HELLO? (Me finally hanging up)

Oh, by the way, when I got home, he had totally cleaned up the puke! YESSSSS!!

Seriously Frustrated

2010-03-25T21:49:00.003-06:00

I cannot find a good pair of shoes for the Bibbers. I thought I found a steal at Kid 2 Kid when I found a great pair of Stride Rite black patent leather t-strap mary jane's in her size. AND THEY WERE ONLY $4!!! I almost peed myself.

And then I got them home and put them on her with nylons (I didn't try them on her at the store because she was wearing the wrong socks) and they were too small!! Not just "oh, we can make them work for a few weeks until we find something better" small. Oh no! I put them on her and she started LIMPING around the house. Actual limping.

But the baby loves them!! She pulls them out of hiding and brings them to me to put them on (without socks, of course). How do you tell a little girl no to shiny black shoes!?! I tried to find replacement shoes that are the exact style but they are discontinued. And I looked for them online and I can't find them anywhere

So then I moved on to looking for ANY nice black basic Sunday shoe for the baby. They are NOT easy to find. They are either discontinued or sold out or no longer in stock. I'm so frustrated. Can I please just find a pair of shoes for my baby that have none of the following:

* Lights
* Dora The Explorer
* Covered in glitter
* "Jellies"
* Fur puffing out the top or
* Some sort of garish iridescent color?

I'm so frustrated. I want my child to be rocking a cute style. Classic cute. Not a bejeweled, glittered, Nickelodeon-pimping style. I'm so frustrated.

So when you see my child at church and she's wearing a pair of white Keds, you'll know why.

A Real Conversation With My Dear Husband

2010-03-24T09:37:00.000-06:00

Time: Saturday March 30th at 11:00 am
Place: Apartment of the Loor family.
Subject: Toilets and Mysterious Yellow Spots

Me: Hey, Marcelo. There is a yellow spot on the outside of the toilet near the back side. I think it's pee. Can you please clean it? (evoking our long standing agreement that I don't do toilets and in return I do all other housework)
Marcelo: It's not mine
Me:Uh. . . . What?
Marcelo: It's not mine!! I don't pee outside the toilet.
Me: It's all the way in the back!! And it's in the space between the toilet and the sink vanity stand. For me to have done that, I would have had to climb up on the counter top, with one leg there and other on the toilet seat. And press my body against the wall. Do you think I did that?
Marcelo:. . . .(Silence)
Me: Let's just be logical here, which one of us has an extendable flex hose from which they pee? And which one sits down every time to do it? Which one of us has the physical equipment to make this happen, and which one has never peed standing up? Again, let's be logical about this. Which one of us most likely did this?
Marcelo:. . . .I just know it wasn't me

Baffling, my friends. Absolutely baffling.

He's so lucky he is cute and he makes cute babies with me.

And I guess I should be lucky that he cleans the toilet for me. And it's mysterious "yellow spots" on the lateral posterior fascia.

This is Why You're Fat

2010-03-22T13:38:00.003-06:00

I don't know where I found this website, but it's awesome. (Link Here)

It actually reminds me of this old SNL skit:

I especially like the mug made from bacon and entirely filled with cheese.

I worried that subscribing to this blog would be harmful to my diet, but I've changed my mind. Most things are so greasy and over the top that they don't appeal to me at all. Except for those "Velvety Balls" from yesterday. Cake AND frosting together? YES PLEASE!!

YUMMMM.

Putting it off

2010-03-22T09:23:00.002-06:00

I have to do all the laundry today. It's going to be an all day event. I'm not looking forward to it.

I'm putting it off right now, and choosing to watch Special Agent Oso with my child instead. And then I'm going to walk to the Library because I have a book waiting for me. And that will put off doing the laundry even longer.

Seriously, loads and loads of laundry. I just want to curl up and go to sleep.

I guess it's not that bad, because I have stopped folding Marcelo's clothes. There is no point because he just leaves it in the basket until it's time to wash again and fill it with more clean clothes. I sort it, pre-wash, soak, wash and dry and then put it in your basket. The least you can do is put it away. When you start doing that, I'll start folding it again.

But seriously, I need to get going here. No more procrastination

What do you avoid doing at all costs?

P.S. I'm only 3 pounds away from a new pair of shoes!! Oh how I need them desperately

Sweet Merciful Heavens. . .It's only 1 block away

2010-03-21T17:45:00.000-06:00

I found a restaurant only 1 block away.

It sells 1/4 of a 20 inch pizza pie for only $3.75.

Today I went and bought two slices because I couldn't make up my mind. I got the NM Green Chili and the Thai Chicken slice. Made fresh while I waited.

I'm in love. I haven't been in love this much with food since my first visit to Happy Sumo and tasting the RSBC. (It's actually called the BSCR but I always get it wrong. Like just now).

Did I mention it's only $3.75 for a slice the size of a soccer ball? And it's made fresh. And the thin crust? I forgot the crust! It's fire baked and super thin. right from the oven it crunches like a cracker but is still slightly chewy on the edge. And you can fold it over and pretend that you are in NY eating pizza from a street vendor.

Oh my goodness. It's amazing. And it's only 1 block away. How am I ever going to reach my weight loss goals now?

NM Chili? Seriously? Evil proprietors bent on keeping me looking like a beached whale, I curse your very existence.

And I'll see you next week

Friends in all Places

2010-03-20T12:51:00.000-06:00

The older I get, the more I realize what I like in a person as a friend. And I also have started to notice what I don't like in a person. Due to this, I have started to see some of the same traits appearing in my friends over and over again. This is a partial list of traits that most of my friends (and all of my closest friends) have. Do you have them? Then you are probably my friend. And on the flip side of this you can ask yourself "am I her friend? Then I probably have most of these qualities"

1. Smart. I think this would have to be my #1 trait I have found in my closets friends. I don't know why? Did it start in Elementary school in the ALP program (Can I get a "WHAT WHAT!!" for ALP, my peeps?) when I was segregated from my other classes and put with other smart kids for several hours a day? Or did it happen in Junior High when I changed schools right before the 8th grade and found a new best friend with the eventual valedictorian of all North Coast schools? Or did it happen when I chose to live with other kids on the Honors Graduation track at BYU in the dorms? (Not that even half of us graduated with Honors. I think Mindy is the only on that I know of that actually did it).

I don't say these things to be like "OHHH, look at me! I was in smart people classes." I actually don't think that highly of myself. I just say it to point out that at a very young age I was surrounded by smart people. And people MUCH MUCH smarter than myself so I always felt like I had lots to reach for. I was never EVER the smartest person in the room, so PLEASE don't think that I'm tooting my "smartness" horn. There is no horn. Not even a bike ding-a-ling bell.

But I have come to notice that ignorance and low intelligence is not a trait that I desire to be around. Which is not to say that I don't love a little slapstick comedy or a good fart joke. But people who I can't look up and who don't make me try to be a better person? I have no use for you. Sorry if that makes me sound like a people user. I just want to be with smart people. People who correct my English, instead of me mentally correcting theirs. So you people out there, people who read my blog and correct my English and are my friends? You are all exceptionally smart. Except for you, Mindy. PhD candidate, Physics, math and music degrees graduated with honors? Paa-shawww. You are lame. LAAAAME. Seriously, get some initiative girl. You embarrass me. Kidding of course. Which brings me to . . .

2. Funny, or at least willing to laugh at my jokes. , I'm only funny 50% of the time. And most of that time is because I'm doing a bit that I stole from someone else. I spend excessive time laughing at myself and my ridiculousness. I really think a lot of the time that I'm the only one laughing at my jokes, so it really surprises me when someone else thinks I'm funny. And I like that person right away. Because it's no fun laughing at yourself. . . ALONE I can't tell you how many times I've said to Mar "NOW COME ON!!! THAT WAS FUNNY!!!" And he only agrees with me 17-19% of the time

3. A good conversationalist. I like someone I can talk to. This must go along with the intelligence thing, but I like a good conversation. And a fun conversation. And I realize that I talk A LOT. I really do realize it. So I like a person to be willing to let me blab on and on for a while. I'll let you have your turn too, but sometimes a girl's just got to talk.

Also, what is your conversation about? Tell me about a good book you just read, or something that you know about. Like Australia or the time your family lived in Maine for 3 years. Don't talk to me about shoes, or any other fashion/article of clothing. Please don't talk to me about getting your nails done or how you "deserve" to get something. Blecch. But other topics are fine. Your child's bowel movements? Bring it on! An awesome mission story? I'm ready and waiting. The embarrassing date you went on in high school/college? Do it up! That's the kind of stuff I can sit around and listen to for hours. Which brings me to the final item:

4. Returned Missionaries. This isn't a blanket statement. Which is to say that if you are a RM, I don't instantly like you. Nor is it true that if you aren't an RM, we have nothing to say to each other. But I have come to notice that my closest friend are RMs. And the women that I naturally relate to the most in my ward are RMs. And the sites that I blog-stalk? Those that I love the most are written by RMs.

On a side note, I just had to unsubscribe to a blog that I found especially annoying. Written by a Utah dwelling non-RM, who lauded the fact that she wasn't one and that she was so much better than everyone else because she chose education above a mission. I almost left a nasty comment on the way out, but I figured she wasn't worth my time. Blog. . . DELETED!! Why did I hang around there so long? Well, because I enjoyed reading her words and secretly judging and making fun of her. But I decided that wasn't good for me and my pride level, so I just deleted it all together.

But back to being an RM. I don't know. I think it's because missions form you in a way that marriage and school and a normal 18 months or 2 years of life could never do. Again, I don't think I'm better than you because I served and you didn't. Some of my closest friends and family members didn't serve missions. But in a friend, when you find out that someone served a mission, it turns a little switch on in my brain that says, "no wonder this person is cool! I think we are going to get along JUUUUUST FIIIINNNEE!"

Ok, so that's my rant for the day. I need to go and prepare lunch for the Bibbers.

And to answer your question, no, she still doesn't talk. Little thing is doing it now just to piss me off. I know it. Dang girl is too smart for her own good.

Have a good day. And my fellow RMs? Do you remember THIISSSSS??

Do you have a similar one? I know you you!

P.S. I don't know the person in the picture. I found it online. So don't think I sneaked into the boy's dorms to get this picture. That would just be scary. What with all the "Tree of Life" stories. Yuck.

Just in case you were wondering. . .

2010-03-08T19:39:00.003-07:00

Despite their colorful candy shells, cute be-speckled exterior and bargain prices, Whopper Robin Eggs are not delicious.

Look at that thick candy shell. How can that be delicious? Well, it's not. It's like chewing through 3 inches of plastic coating in order to get to the soft center. It taints the whole Whopper experience.

And I bought a whole bag of them. I said to myself, "self, you are allowed on Easter candy treat" and what did I choose? Whopper Eggs, because I am a moron. And because I love regular Whoppers. Stupid false advertising. They should say "Made by the same company but in no way resembles normal Whoppers" and then in bigger letters: "tectonic plate candy shell will promise to crack your dental crown!" on the outside.

Now I have a stomach ache and 7/8 of a bag of Whopper Eggs.

Anyone want them?

Project: COMPLETED

2010-03-05T17:00:00.001-07:00

I get on these project kicks. I get really motivated and almost obsessed to complete things. It can be good sometimes, but other times it's very tiring. like when I'm obsessed with finishing a certain book. I will stay up till 3 or 4 am to finish reading. LESS EFFECTIVE when you have to get up to go to the gym in 3 hours.

Well, the project I have been working on for the past few weeks is my "RECIPE CARDS" project. I had a whole bunch of miss-matched cards and cards that didn't fit into my recipe box. And people had made photo copies of their ward cookbooks for me But half the recipes are repeated and the other half are things that I would never make (read that: things that contain beans, mayonnaise or bananas)

So I found the right size cards and I typed them all up. 24 pages of recipes, with 3 recipes per page. It was a lot of work, but I'm so happy to be done with it! Project, ACCOMPLISHED. I feel so satisfied.

And I have lots of cute baby stuff that has been happening lately. I won't expose you to everything right now. . . well maybe just one. When I put the baby down for her nap or bedtime I always put her face down on her belly and she sticks her booty in the air. (it's her favorite position) Then I put her blanket on her back and rub her back a little. So here is her interpretation of the same thing with her playing the part of mom and the rabbit playing the part of baby.

Look how cute she is! (The video is long. Sorry. Just pay attention to the first 10 or 15 seconds or so) O

Ugh, it makes me so sad she's growing up so fast.

More videos to come. Ignore if you wish. But this is some seriously good stuff.

College Education

2010-03-03T17:00:00.005-07:00

I'm helping my mom with some of her classes these days. She's only a few semesters away from getting her college degree. . .at the age of 60. It's something she's wanted and worked on for years. I can remember her going to school right after Julie was born and studying at our family's kitchen table. She really deserves it, and I'm very proud of her.

But that's not what I'm here for. See, for one of her classes she has to read essays of fellow classmates and then review them. I'm reading over her review because she asked me to. And this is what I came across. These were the FINAL 2 sentences of the other student's paper. This is how they chose to wrap up all their ideas. I REPEAT: THIS WAS NOT MY MOM'S PAPER. Please to enjoy it: (I have reproduced it here exactly as I found it. Punctuation grammar and spelling all original)

The femininity also causes the characters to change in order to adapt to the world around them, Dee's example, creating a world in which gender is something that one has to realize for one's self and that person must be able to break typical gender roles in order to grow as a person. This situation brought to a real world situation would create a world in which one would not have to worry about what one is doing or looking like all of the time and would caused a world of harmony.

Would caused a world of harmony. AMEN, sister.

AND THESE ARE COLLEGE STUDENTS!! I weep for the future. (NAME IT!!)

This actually reminds me of my 11th grade English class and we had to read a short story and write thesis statements for the story.Afterwards we switched them up and read them aloud to the class. (note to all you teachers out there? Reading in front of class=INSTANT SHAMING!!) Luckily they were anonymous, because when my teacher heard the one I read she almost stopped breathing because she was laughing so hard. It went something like this "When John suddenly came upon the sudden rabbits, he suddenly realized that his life was not what it was supposed to be, and he suddenly felt very different on his birthday" No joke, the person who wrote it used the word SUDDENLY 4 different times in one thesis statement.

Best part about that? The author was my best guy friend. Others had written silly statements as an obvious joke and the teacher thought it was as well. But we later asked him if he was kidding when he wrote that and he said no. Again, the shaming. Delicious delicious shaming.

AHHHHH, HIGH SCHOOL!! Don't you miss it sometimes?

But seriously, the student in my mom's class is one intellectual step up from a boiled potato.

It Has Arrived

2010-03-02T07:43:00.003-07:00

The Terrible Twos has arrived at our house. When my child feels like she isn't getting the attention that she deserves, or when her needs aren't met immediately, there is a strong . . . .um. . .how you say. . . REACTION. The word "no" from my mouth is met with this same reaction. When she is displeased, here are a few things you might get:

* kicked
* hit
* scratched
* hair pulled
* ear pulled (if you are a furry friend named Raya)

And finally if no on is around to inflict physical pain upon, you can always hit the computer or throw something. Anything . If you can pick it up with ease, it can be thrown with ease. Telephones, remote controls, iPods, food, drink cups, water bottles. Shall I go on?

Time outs are well known around our house. Sometimes she goes from one time out to the next. I pick her up, explain why she is there, ask for an apology and get a slap in the face. Back in time out she goes. I'm sure our neighbors can hear her through the door (her time out spot is right by the front door) and they think that I either 1) beat my child or 2) like the sound of my child's screams. Or maybe a combo of both. I don't blame them for thinking this.

I realize it's a phase. The fact that she's still not talking I'm sure is adding to her frustration. I know it's adding to mine!! And to answer your questions, yes, she's still meeting with a speech therapist. No, there has not been any development in the language department. Her babbling is getting more advanced, so I have hopes that there will be a breakthrough every day. HOWEVER, we have a new development: In her babbling I've noticed that she thrusts her tongue forward. The speech therapist noticed this and said that she might have to be evaluated again because of this development. Basically, my kid is all kinds of messed up when it comes to talking.

Anyway, I'm not writing this to complain or ask for advice. Just to let you know that WWIII is happening at my house with my child. And so if I come to visit you and put my child in time out the whole time I am there you will know what is going on. At least I'm not slapping her back. . .yet.

P.S. I'm watching "Lady and the Tramp" with my daughter today. It's been years since I've seen it. Have you seen it recently? Are you as shocked as I am by the horribly offensive and overtly racist "Siamese Cats" and their song? Why not just give them buck teeth and put rice patty hats on them? Seriously!! Ahhh, the 1950's. Such innocence. Such naivete. Such blatant racism.

Ameri-I-CAN!!!

2010-02-25T12:56:00.003-07:00

Today Marcelo called me out of the blue and said, "I was on the freeway and something had fallen out of the back of someone's truck. There were police officers out there helping and cleaning up the mess so that no one would get hurt."

I thought this is where he would complain about traffic being backed up, or about how people are stupid for not strapping down their crap on their trucks. But he surprised me. He said, "I'm just so thankful to be living in the United States where the police officers help you to do that. I'm so thankful to be here where they take care of the roads and help clean up when there is something dangerous."

Sometimes I forget about how great it is to live in the US and all the great things we have. I like to look at it from the eyes of a foreigner and remember just how great we have it. And I'm thankful for my husband for bringing it to my attention. He's good to have around for that kind of stuff. I think I'll keep him a little while longer. . . maybe forever!

Zoning Out

2010-02-22T14:27:00.004-07:00

When I was in Elementary School and High School, a classmate of mine was hearing impaired. She's been deaf since birth but she is an EXCELLENT lip reader. Actually, it was quite disconcerting to be talking to her and having her stare at your mouth the whole time. It made you very aware of what you were saying and how you were pronouncing things.

However, her parents paid a full time translator to accompany her to all her classes. The translator would sit up at the front of the classroom on a stool and sign everything the teacher was saying. And she was very distracting. Oh, after a while you got used to her, of course, but if you wanted to, you could lose whole class periods just starting at her hands moving like lighting.

And this is the first time I realize that I repetitive motions made me sleepy. I would stare mesmerized at her translator the whole class period and then realize that I hadn't taken a single note in class. Luckily this was Jr. High: the land of handouts to take home. So you really didn't have to stress too much about it. But then as the classes got more advanced, so did the signing.

I took an Anthropology class my sophomore year and I felt so horrifically sorry for the signer. I mean, most words have a sign and are quick to do. However, words that are spelled differently or are not used frequently don't have a sign for them and so have to be spelled out laboriously. The poor woman would have to spell Australopithecus and Homo Neanderthalensis over and over. And she was pregnant too!! She would heave herself up on her little stool and go non-stop for 50 minutes. Luckily she was a nice person and the teachers liked her and would ask if she needed them to slow down. But she never did.

But my point is that she was hypnotic. The next time I encountered this was when I worked at the MTC on the docks. Yes, the MTC has docks. It was the best job possible at the MTC because #1 I didn't have to wear a hairnet, #2 I didn't have to wear church clothes, #3 I got to corrupt. . .er. . .I mean CHAT with the groups of missionaries twice a week who would come in do service for us, and #4 I got to hang out in the bakery between truck deliveries.

The MTC bakery makes almost every baked good that is served there. The only exceptions are the bagels (delivered to me at 5:15 MW&F), bread (delivered to me at 5:20 am MW&F) and doughnuts. But the doughnuts were made by BYU (you know, the Sugar & Spice doughnuts) and just dropped off at the MTC so maybe I should half count those.

But the Bakery made everything else. The ladies there (there were 3 of them full time) made pumpkin pies, cornbread, jello, honeybutter, muffins, cakes, cobblers, etc.

They had those big industrial ovens that you could shove a 6 foot tall rack into and it would lock them into place and spin them around and cook things evenly. Also, they got to listen to the radio in there. (only 100.3, though, of course. The "BYU Approved" station that they also play at the Cougareat.

Anyway, the bakery was like the vortex of hypnosis. Especially Jello making. Because they would lay out the cups on the big trays, then fill them with the Jello. This process alone was awesome to watch. And then there was the Whipped Cream at the end!! Don't even get me started on the awesomeness of those WC applicators! I think while watching Honey Butter being made one day I zoned out and had a dream about lions. Awesome Jello-making lions.

It's the only good memory I had from working at the MTC. And thinking back on it now made me wonder why I ever quit. Oh yeah, I decided that $6.95 an hour might not be the best way to support myself AND my husband before he got his work permit in the country. Meh.

SLUUUUURRRP!

2010-02-20T16:16:00.004-07:00

As the baby is getting over her cold/flu, It's now moved from a fever to a full nasal assault.

Which is kind of horrible, as any mother knows. Waking up with streams of snot down her face. Sheets covered in it, everything covered in it. She climbed up onto Marcelo's side of the bed and left a little streaking reminder. I pointed it out to him, and then I laughed.

And then this morning I was getting breakfast ready for her and I heard a loud slurping noise. I thought she was done with her milk, so I turned around to look at her. I saw a current of snot pouring from both sides. Ever so delicately she lifts her tongue up and SLUUUURRRP! Drinking it down super nice.

Delicious. Absolutely delicious. It's days like this that make me know that there is a God. Otherwise we would all be dead from our own nose bacteria.

Book Reviews

2010-02-17T08:59:00.002-07:00

It's been a while since I did one of these. I thought I would put a few of my more recent books up here so you can see what I've been reading of late.

Enemies of the People: My Family's Journey to America by Kati Marton

My rating: 4 of 5 stars
I need to stop reading all these cold-war books! I didn't mean to follow up Mountain of Crumbs with this book, but it just happened that way. But this book was just as interesting and informative. It tells the story of the Marton Family who grew up in Hungary and who were actively spied on by their own government. For nearly 10 years, they tried to find some dirt on this family and finally they "found" enough information to convict them of spying for the Americans. (The "trial" was really a sham. There were no witnesses, no evidence, and no jury. They were just presented with the charges, allowed to make a plea and then their sentence was given. Some kind of justice, right?)

The author of this book talks about how writing this and looking in the now available AVO (Hungarian Secret Police) files taught her many things about her parents and her family. Memories she had forgotten were spied on a written down for the files. Family ski trips, outings with her father, a favorite sweater. Good things she's glad she remembers. But also things she didn't know and maybe was better off not knowing. The infidelity of both her parents, the betrayal of those closest to her, and the broken promises of those who vowed to care for her and her sister.

Again, much like Mountain of Crumbs this book does not focus on the atrocities of that time. We know that they were going on. People were starving, being killed and even tortured by their own government all because of the perceived threat of America far far away. But this book doesn't talk about that. It talks about how her family did everything right and still were found guilty by their own country.

This is a quote from the book talking about that very thing: "One common superstition of totalitarian governments is that people will be more contented if they don't know the unpleasant things that are going on and that a regime will be admired in the outside world if it conceals its sins and stupidities. . . Espionage in such a a country is what the Government says it is." So just the fact that her parents were journalists reporting the news about Hungary made them spies in her countries eyes. (The author's mother's charges included talking about the price of eggs and bread to foreigners. I'm not kidding about that) They didn't want the outside world knowing anything, for fear the people inside the country would realize how they were truly living.

The other part that hit me was this: "My initial 'How could they!' has been supplanted by another question. How would I survive under such a system? What price would I pay to preserve my own freedom and my children's future?"

I think that's something that we all have to think about, especially when we judge others that have gone through systems like this. Things that I would never think about doing before I would consider now because of my daughter. You just survive.

Ultimately, I think that the author does a great job of telling her amazing and almost unbelievable story.

The Match King: Ivar Kreuger, The Financial Genius Behind a Century of Wall Street Scandals by Frank Partnoy

My rating: 4 of 5 stars
I need to do these reviews as I'm reading. Because by the time I get to the end, I forget what struck me at the beginning. Anyway, this book touts itself as the story of Ivar Kreuger, the first Bernie Madoff of his time.

I can see how people would think that. Both men made crazy promises when it came to investments and returns. Both men got fabulously rich during a time of great prosperity in the United States. And both were terrific terrific liars to anyone who would listen.

However, there are definite differences too. Ivar was a very unique man with quirky tendencies. He was strictly regimented, and did everything with purpose. Not only that, but he really did make fortunes. It's just unfortunate that the crash of '29 happened. Because who knows where he would've gone.

Ivar is a very unique man. He likes to surround himself with other crooks. There is a great story about how when he was the manager of a bank, he found an employee who was making a "loan to himself." He of course had to fire the employee but then he immediately hired him as a member of his personal crew. The most redeeming thing about this crook? He looked exactly like Santa Claus. So Ivar thought that no one would suspect Santa carrying false documents!!

However, he also likes to surround himself with people that he can manipulate and woo. This is especially true of auditors and accountants who have to review his books. There is one particular character who he has trailing along after him like a lovesick puppy dog. It's quite sad to see the extend to which he can play him.

This book was rather slow in moments. An exciting part was right at the middle when they started talking about the Crash of '29. In your mind you are thinking "ohhhhh!! this is it!! it's all going to hit the fan now!! where is he going to get the money he promised? Ohhh!! here it goes!" And things kinda pick up. And then they slow down again. But there is a big finish!! It really pulls it out in the end.

Finally, this book reminded me of "Catch Me if you Can". The forgeries, the desperate need to always be admired, the persona that he wanted to carry around all the time. It all seemed to be the desperate actions of a man who never felt like he was good enough. In the end, we should be happy for him. Due to his actions the way Americans trade, acquire and report stocks all changed. Securities laws were passed with only him in mind.

All in all this book was written by a lawyer,and sometimes it reads like a law review book. Dry and not much story telling. But still a good read. And a compelling story. Very practical and easily likened to our times. Lots of problems that everyone wants to blame on someone else. "It's Enron's fault. . .It's Madoff's fault. . .It's the banks' fault" We want there to be one BIG BAD problem causer. But in the end we need to realize that we all have a little part in the financial demise of this country.

How We Decide by Jonah Lehrer

My rating: 4 of 5 stars
I really liked how this book moved along. The pace was not at all grueling, even thought the author would start talking about pre-frontal cortexes and amygdalas. I think it's because he had such great stories to back up his ideas. And you were truly invested in the stories.

This book made me think about the decisions I make. Why do I make them? How am I feeling? And it told me that I should really trust my gut more.

I enjoyed every moment of reading this book and was sad to see it end. I would've liked to hear more stories about poker playing physicists and airplane pilots with nerves of steel. You should all definitely read this book.

You Give Me Fever

2010-02-14T21:26:00.006-07:00

Ahhh, Valentines Day! This is one holiday that gets some respect in our house. Because in Ecuador, it's the Day of Love AND Friendship. So much like elementary school, people celebrate the day with everyone around them. Sending cards, chocolates and little trinkets to everyone. No one is left out. It's a good day for all.

So, that's why we spent Valentine's Day together as a family. Marcelo and I decided to go to our favorite Thai restaurant in Orem on Saturday. We tried to volunteer to babysit our friend's kids, but they didn't call us back until we were already at dinner. (They did invite us to go to a movie later, but it was a dollar movie so the tickets sold out almost immediately. It didn't happen and we were sad) So we just spent the day together as the Loor family.

We did take a side trip to Costco at the same time and saw the mad rush for chocolate cake and flowers. We did not partake but we did buy birth control and diapers. I think that is a very funny and ironic coupling of items. You shouldn't need the one if you used the other properly in the first place. Some other funny pairings? Buying a case of beer and card for your child who is just leaving on a mission. Buying a can of rat poison and a rodent cage. You think of some more. I'm going to get back to my story.

So after dinner (which was delicious. We even got Evi to eat some of everything!) and the movie was a bust, we went home. We did the normal nighttime routine with bath, dressing, praying and finally books right before bed. However, as I was reading to the Bibbers, I notices that her head was a little warm. Not her cheeks, or her neck or her hands or body. Just the forehead and top of her head. Marcelo felt it and said it was nothing. And I believed him.

NEVER TRUST YOUR HUSBAND!! TRUST YOUR MOTHERING INSTINCTS!! Nothing terrible happened. She slept just fine, but woke up on FIRE. Super hot, and just feeling crappy. She cuddled in bed with us for about a half hour. (Funny side story. When she comes into bed with us, she will flop on top of us and ask for her back to be rubbed/scratched. Oh, did I say "asked?" I meant "pointed to her back and made grunting noises". But this morning she was too tired to do even that. The moment I stopped moving my hand, she would do just a little "uh uh" in my ear. Very soft, almost nothing. She couldn't do more than that. Marcelo and I loved it)

Anyway, I can never get her to sleep with us in bed. Once she's up, she's going going gone. We gave her some medicine, and she seemed to perk up. At least her fever went down. (not before puking all over the couch and carpet, though. Great way to start off your Day of Rest, I'll tell you that)

We said no to church. Because I've worked in the nursery, and I wouldn't like someone to come in, drop off their kid to me and say, "well, she puked this morning and had a fever, but we thought she would miss out on her friends if we didn't come. ENJOY HER!!" We made an executive decision. Which was a good idea, because it spiked again after her afternoon nap. It was up to 103.6. But again, it responded with the baby ibuprofen. Marcelo kept trying to force me to take her to the Dr. office, and finally I had to read to him that "fevers are normal and the way the body responds to infection. If fever lasts more than 3 days or does not respond to medicine, please bring her in". We were less than 24 hours so we didn't meet any criteria. He finally shut up about taking her.

So that's how we spent our Day of Love and Friendship. And I want to wish a happy L&F Day to all of you. I'm guessing your day went better than mine. If you didn't catch your daughter's puke in your cupped hands, then your day was infinitely better than mine.

P.S. When I looked for a cool picture to put with this post, this is what I found:

Ummm, i think we need to talk about the awesomeness of this album cover. Animal print blanket? Check. Handkerchief matching lipstick color? Check. Rad 80's graffiti-esque font? Double AND triple check for all 3 colors used. Please tell me what is your favorite part about this album cover?

Uncomfortable

2010-02-13T13:30:00.001-07:00

I am very awkward. I am clumsy and I drop things and I'm just all a whirl all the time. Add to the fact that I'm ridiculously self conscious, and you have a great recipe for the world's more uncomfortable person to be around.

Today's awkward confession: Hugging. I like hugging my family, but not really anyone else. Close friends, close family members sure. I'll tolerate it. But everyone else? I'd rather just stand a few feet away and wave at you. I came to realize this last month when I was doing visiting teaching. My companion would give our teachees a hello hug or a good-bye hug and I didn't offer a hug of my own at the end. I just stood there like a moron watching. I mean, I could've given each of them a hug of my own after my co-teacher was done, but really, I didn't want any part of that.

I don't like hugging in front of other people. Like at my wedding, after we cut the cake and did the obligatory feeding of each other, I gave Marcelo a high five. Yup, you read that right. I didn't kiss him, didn't hug him, didn't show any love or affection in any way. We high fived. That's the kind of girl I am.

People must think I'm horribly cold and distant. But the truth is that I just don't like hugging people. I get self conscious, I think about their hands: Where are they? What can they feel under my clothes. Should I suck in my gut or lean to the side so they don't feel my love handles? I want out of this hug NOW!

Then I think about my hands: where do I put them? On the waist? Over their shoulders? Or under their arms? Do we do that "over one shoulder and under the other" type hug? Do I pound on the back? or maybe a soft caressing rub (very consoling)? open hand on the back? closed fist that they might possibly feel and think that I'm about to slug them? CURSE MY USELESS HANDS!!

And then the hug breaks and where do I go? Do I say close to them after breaking away from the hug? But that could make them (and me) feel weird due to close proximity. I don't want someone that close, possibly able to see the boogers up my nose. Or do I take a step back and maybe make them think that I didn't enjoy the hug? Give them a little shove as I break away? Or is it NOW that I should do the little consoling arm rub/pat? So that means I need to say in close proximity, right? But not too close, naturally.

Oh my gosh, I hate hugging!! So if we are long lost friends and I haven't seen you in 5 years and we meet up again and I don't hug you? Please don't be offended. I just plain don't like hugging. But feel free to give me a high five!

Afternoon Delight

2010-02-12T17:42:00.007-07:00

What do you give your child as an afternoon snack? Piece of cheese? An apple? Maybe a glass of milk and some crackers? Do you give your child frozen bread?

My child love LOVES frozen bread. See, since the diet started, I've been eating less bread. So I freeze the loaf so it doesn't go bad. (You can easily break off one individual piece and toast it if needed) Another thing about the freezer, we have one of those pull out drawers. Which a 26 pound 20 month old can open with super ease. Especially after she figures out how to use her body weight to open it. So when she wants a piece, she opens the freezer and brings me the bag.

What is it with frozen food? I can't get my child to eat cooked peas, but frozen peas? She'll eat enough to turn her poo green. Berries on her french toast? No way. But frozen berries out of a bag? I have the stained clothes to prove how much she loves them.

Another item of baby business. I have 2 private times to myself. The first one is shower time. I have no problems locking the door and putting on a video and enjoying a nice hot shower. The second "me" time is when I'm pooping. I get to poop in peace!! I do NOT feel badly as I close the door and I hear my little girl knocking on the door while I poop. It's my 3 minutes! I get 3 min of pooping time to myself.

However, one day I forgot to shut the door when I went into the shower. I enjoyed my blissful body cleaning time in peace, even though I could hear her rustling about outside the door. And when I got out, this is what I found:

I'm sure all of you have had moments like this. I'm sure your pictures are much better. And I'm sure just like me (if you are cheap and poor) you spent 7 min rolling it back up onto the roll again.

Next, my little baker. I'm putting her to work and going making some money off of her.

Excuse my horrible voice. I'm much closer to the microphone than she is.

Ok, that's all for now.

Please tell me you agree with my "bathroom time". I know you are considered a "bad mom" if you let your child cry right outside the door. But seriously! I don't need my child pointing to the faults of my naked body. AND THERE ARE SOME HUGE FAULTS.

TCOB

2010-02-11T18:53:00.001-07:00

In on of my favorite episodes of Sunny (ok, let's be honest, they are all my favorite) Sweet Dee has a heart attack. Mac and Charlie decide to get jobs solely for the health benefits. When they arrive for a job interview, they only have one resume to share between the two of them. They say it's because they are "going green" and it's easier to just have the one because they are basically the same. And one of their lists of accomplishments is that for the past 10 years they have been managing every aspect of their own lives. "You know, TCOB. TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS".

I must agree with them, I also am TCOB today and mostly every day of my life. And right now I am taking care of some bloggin' business. Just, you know, random bits of my life. As if you cared.

My mouth felt really dirty about 5:30 pm in the afternoon the other day. Probably because i was taking a nap in the middle of the afternoon and you know about sleep breath. Anyway I got up and decided to do the whole mouth cleaning cycle. I flossed first, then brushed firmly but not vigorously, and then used mouthwash. It's my special "Crest Nighttime" mouthwash, guaranteed to "protect your mouth" for up to 8 hours.

See, I made the mistake of doing this about 30 minutes before dinnertime and was very alarmed to discover that all my food tasted really weird. I immediately knew it was the mouthwash, and so went and rinsed and even re brushed my mouth. But there was no getting rid of it. It was there for the next 8 hours. I will tell you this: CREST IS NOT LYING!! They will never be dragged into court for false advertising.

It made everything I ate for the rest of the night have a weird "chewing on a piece of tin foil" mixed with a "2 hours post-dentist, mouth just coming out of Novocaine deadening" taste to it. It seriously ruined my night. Because I'm really restricting my calories and I get really hungry for dinner. And then all my food was ruined? CURSE YOU CREST AND YOUR EFFECTIVE CAVITY PROTECTION!

Next item of business. I have been reading lots. And all good books (mostly) but listening to books as you are at the gym running is SUPER less effective when it comes to keeping you motivated. I know that they always say to listen to good music to keep you going, and there must be some truth to that. I always go to the gym's very dark "cardio cinema" room (Motto: Created with Fat Girls and Old Men Who Fart While Working Out in Mind) and watch a movie in near pitch black while I try to not fall off the treadmill. However, many of the movies are NOT good for gym time. Examples: 50 First Dates. That's Raven Symone movie about a road trip to see colleges, Pink Panther 2. Not great movies to keep you pumping.

Yesterday the movie was "Pearl Harbor". While Citizen Kane it is not, it does have a good amount of action and suspense in it. Especially if you've forgotten what happens in it because you saw it 2 months before your mission. (Remember that, Amy? Remember how I was at your house for like a week and we saw like a bazillion movies before you left for Brasil? Awesome) Anyway, great acting? No. Suspenseful with air jet fighting? ABSOLUTELY!! I ran constantly with my treadmill at a 1.0 incline (don't judge. I'm very large. Please congratulate me for running at all) for about 20 min and didn't even realize it.

And today was the last 40 min of "The Dark Knight" which is also super suspenseful. And kept me focused so I didn't notice my legs throbbing and how I was gasping for air. Really, it works!! the adrenaline pumping in your veins really keeps you focused. EXCEPT for one type of movie. The HORROR movie. They will show PG-13 horror movies (no slasher types) which are all played up by the suspenseful music and then having something jump out at you. Someone ALWAYS falls off a treadmill whenever that happens. One guy fell off a stationary bike the other day, but poor kid was like 4 feet from the screen, so I can't blame him. But why do they do this? I have a secret suspicion they are taping us and there will be a Youtube video up soon called "Hilarious morons at Gym!" I will be playing the part of moron #4.

Have you ever been that person falling off the treadmill at the gym? Please tell me your best treadmill biffing story. I love a good wipeout.

That's all my business for today. I'm going to try to blog more. I don't promise GREAT blogs. But I do promise more. Please let me know if you want me to go back to the "Quality not quantity" method. Oh wait, my blogs were never very quality. Nevermind.

Hoarders

2010-02-10T18:50:00.001-07:00

Do you watch the show "Hoarders" on TV? That show really REALLY scares me. Mostly because it's my legacy.

See, my maternal Grandma was a hoarder. A serious kind. The only think that kept her from living with 8 foot walls of trash in her home was my mother. My mother would go over to her house a few times a week and every time she would leave she would pack up a few bags of trash and leave them on the back porch. She couldn't let my grandma actually SEE her take them out of the house, because she would freak out. So she would put them outside, and then say her goodbyes and leave and then sneak around to the back and pick them up. It was just necessary.

Of course, things were much worse before we moved to Eureka. Before that happened, we would go to my g-ma's during the summer house and just be there in the muck. She had a 4 bedroom house, but the biggest bedroom upstairs(the size of the master and another room put together) was closed and locked. Not only that, the upstairs hallway to get to the room was locked too. One day I found the key to unlock that room, and I showed it to my mom. She got all quiet and then really REALLY excitedly said, "seriously? Can I see it?" I handed it over and she ran right up the stairs. Bashed her way around the boxes and unlocked the door. Only to discover that the room was so full of boxes that the door couldn't even be opened. That's the way my grandma lived.

And that's my heritage. And so whenever I see homes like that I have to blame the other spouse for a little bit of the problem. A person will get away with as much as you let them. So as long as the non-hoarding spouse keeps their mouth shut or in some other way acquiesces, it will continue. Why not just grab a bag one day and fill it with as much crap you can find? Take it from the bottom of the stack I mean that stuff hasn't been seen for years, so there is no way the hoarder can say "But i was USING that!". Also, if the hoarder claims that there are "special keepsakes" you can say "well, they obviously aren't that special to you because you have piled trash on top of them". I'm basically saying there is no excuse that can't be proven to be a total justification for their actions.

Because I'm afraid of becoming a hoarder, I tend to like moving. It helps me keep my house clean. I always do a purger as I'm packing up my stuff. And I loveLOVElove to throw things out. Even clothes. Like if I get a new shirt, my rule to myself is that I have to get rid of an old one. If I buy 4 shirts, I have to get rid of 4 shirts. This usually isn't a problem because I always have clothes that I end up not wearing for quite a while. It just makes me keep myself in check. And keeps my closet from being over run. (but then I look and see how many more clothes Marcelo has than me and I get seethingly jealous. Maybe I should re-think this whole "get a shirt, lose a shirt" idea)

So don't be surprised if I come over to your house and start throwing things away. It's what I've trained myself to do. And I'm sorry if I throw away your prized afghan that was crocheted for you by your great grandmother. I don't care if it's your nakey blankey or not. Becuase seriously, it had to go. It had mysterious stains on it and smelled like 3 day old Ecua-Cheese. You'll thank me later.

H.O.U.S. and Other Assorted Details of my Life

2010-01-26T09:23:00.000-07:00

You know in "The Princess Bride" where they talk about the ROUS's? The Rodents of Unusual Size? Well I'm that same way, but not with rodents. I'm that way with my head. It's a Head Of Unusual Size. I don't know if it's the size or the shape, but headbands that are supposed to fit everyone never work on me.

I actually think it is a combination of my hair being so thin and fine,and of my weird shaped head. For Christmas, Vidal Sasson left the following in my stocking:

They are called "stay put head wraps" but they do no such thing. They slip and slide around my head like they were made of vinyl. I try putting them just behind my ears and about an inch and a half from my hairline. They slide up the back of my neck, to the crown of my head and keep sliding back. The little rubber "grips" sewn in are mocking me the whole way back.

It's always been like this. When I would play sports in high school and before the invention of these headbands, the best option was "pre-wrap" (which was put on the skin before the athletic tape was put on there ensuring minimal hair rippage when removing) because it had a spongey yet tacky consistency. You could roll up a length of it and put in your hair and if you were normal, it would stay. Mine never did. I was always so jealous of those who could make it stay.

I guess I just have to accept that I have a weird shaped head. It have too many crags and bumps on it and whenever I move my eyes or neck my scalp also moves. So I need to give up the hope of ever being able to wear cute headbands. "JUST LET IT GO, ALICIA!!" You have a H.O.U.S.

Next item of business. My child is sick. Maybe from the gym play area. (we took her there for the first time ever on Saturday so we could work out together) or from the petrie dish that is Nursery. She's not horrifically sick. Just a runny nose and slight fever right now. But she keeps waking in the night. Like 4 times last night. OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Screaming (but not screaming my name. Remember, my child doesn't talk. Not even to call for me in the middle of the night)

And we, being the heartless wretches that we are, we let her cry it out most times. SHE DID NOT APPRECIATE THAT. As can be discerned from her slightly hoarse voice this morn. *Alicia is awarded mother of the year award. She accepts graciously* Yes, I let my child scream for upwards of 45 minutes. Please start a line of horrible comments after this post.

And the third totally unrelated topic: I am a non-fiction freak. The stinking non-fiction table at my library sucks me in every time I walk by. I go in to pick up a book I have on hold, and I walk out with 3 non-fiction books. What the WHAT? WHY DO YOU HAVE SUCH AWESOME COVERS AND INTERESTING TOPICS, YOU NON-FICTION TROLLOP!?!?

And I have found some of the greatest books there on the non-fiction table. I found this book there, and this one too. Both some of the greatest books I've read in a long while. So I can't say that I dislike the non-fiction table. I just like how everything looks so good!! Much like all the varieties at the Cheesecake Factory.

Hmmmm. Cheesecake.

And SCENE.

One of these things is not like the other. . .

2010-01-20T21:46:00.003-07:00

I love zappos.com. Its the only place that someone with my giant size of a foot can find a shoe in their size. And cute too! And they have free shipping and returns. And because I'm a VIP member (insert ooooh's here) I get free overnight shipping on all my orders. So when Marcelo's gift was ordered and shipped on the "10th" (so they said, hmmfphf) it didn't arrive till the 24th. Almost missed Christmas. But I procrastinated buying Jules' gift this year (she was my secret santa) and I bought it on the 22nd and it was at her door the next day.

I LOVE YOU ZAPPOS.

However, I'm on the hunt for some new church shoes. The shoes I wear EVERY Sunday are hideous and my mom bought them second hand at Savers when I was 8 months pregnant. Yeah, so basically they are nasty and gross and nasty. Did I mention nasty?

So I went to look at the website just to put a few shoes on my "wishlist" in preparation for when I get to buy myself some new shoes. (That gets to happen when I lose 30 pounds. It's a mini goal)

As I'm narrowing down my search, I chose 4 categories or themes that my shoes should fall under. I choose the words "Dress, Feminine, Elegant, Formal" because like I said I need church shoes.

Here is the shoe at the top of the list they gave me. Please tell me which of the 4 words this shoe falls under.

Would you say more formal? or more elegant? or a mix of the two? Please let me know what you think.

P.S. They wanted $60 for these shoes. I'm going to go vomit right now.

Just in case you were wondering. . .

2010-01-14T17:06:00.005-07:00

Super glue and carpet don't mix.

Just in case you were wondering.

This will serve as my "The Facebook" status update:

Alicia is. . . . Cutting Superglue out of Carpet

What is your current status?

(make sure your status starts with "(your name) is:")

Diga. . .DIGA!!!

2010-01-09T10:58:00.000-07:00

The Bibi doesn't talk. I know I have mentioned this before, but apparently my pediatrician just became aware of the fact and has referred us to a specialist.

We have now had 3 home visits by 4 different women. A lot of time they ask the same questions. And both on Tuesday and again today they played a lot of the same games. But they all come up with the same conclusion: A very bright child, ahead of schedule for problem solving, motor skills and logic. A bright child who can communicate in other ways, but just chooses not to talk.

See, Evi DOES communicate when she wants something. She points to the fridge, or pulls me over to the bedroom to point to her videos, or puts her shoes on and points to the door. I mean, that's pretty dang clear, right? And when I ask her to put her shoes on, she goes right and does it. She can point to things in books and can match items we give to her. She recognizes the names of things and does the commands i give her. And yet, no words!!

Sure, she makes sounds, like she'll make a "ma ma ma ma" sound sometimes, but she doesn't come to me and say, "mama, afuera" when she wants to go outside. or "mama, leche" when she wants milk. The kid just doesn't talk. She just refuses to.

And to answer your questions about sign language, I don't think that would help us at this time. It's not like she is frustrated. She makes her wants very clearly known. I know what she is saying (well, not really, but you know what I mean) so the sign language is kind of not needed at this point. I mean, it's for kids that need to get what they want. And she has no problem getting what she wants from pointing, dragging and gestures. So in a way, I guess she does her "own" signs.

Anyway, we'll probably have these visits for a little while longer. I'll let you know how they all go. But in the mean time, I'll just keep taking my kid outside when she puts her shoes on, brings me her coat and points to the door. It seems to be working for now.

Christmas Wrap-Up

2010-01-08T13:46:00.001-07:00

Last year we spent Christmas at my sister Sarah's house. Besides it being awesome and very accommodating for when people get sick (there's a bathroom on every floor and at every end of the house. At let me tell you, I needed every one!) but besides that, they have a great tradition about who the gifts come from.

At her house, they and the kids get not only presents from Santa, but also from Barack Obama, Nacho Libre, Spiderman and lots of other assorted celebrities/fake people. And I liked that. I mean, I don't think my kid would ever really think that Nacho Libre gave him a gift, so it might not be such a heart break when he learns that Santa isn't real either.

So, with a totally free conscious I've decided to steal Sarah's idea. And so Evi received many gifts this year from various people.

From Frank Lloyd Wright she received these blocks:

From Pablo Picasso this:

And from Jack Kerouac she received the following books:

You get the idea. I don't believe in threatening my kids with Santa. Because if they were really bad, I would never not bring them anything. So why threaten to do something I would never be willing to follow through? Doesn't that make me a liar? A stinking threatening liar?

Anyway, I think my kids will be so filled with Santa crap at school and I don't plan on bursting their little bubbles at age 3. But if they think Santa is bringing them presents, then they can also believe that the deceased Frank Lloyd Wright can also bring them building blocks.

Who's with me on this?

And thanks to Sarah and Chad for the idea. You are the greatest. Who did your kids get presents from this year?

It's going around

2009-12-27T09:08:00.005-07:00

So we are all sick. Evi got it first on Christmas Eve. I should've known because she was acting a fright at P.F. Chang's that night. She was screaming at the top of her lungs and didn't want to eat anything. (Marcelo and I still enjoyed the food, though. So the evening wasn't totally ruined)

And she continued to get sicker over the next 12 hours. Which means that me, the primary kisser of her face also am sick. I got it Christmas night.

And now Marcelo has it. He got it last night.

I think everyone with a husband will back me up when I say this: Men are horrible when they are sick. I mean, we ALL have it. This whole house is infected. Bibi's nose is on a 24 hour drip and the poor girl can't breathe. Also, I had it starting yesterday, but I still managed to feed everyone 3 meals, return things to various stores and clean this house . . .twice (with a place this small you have to clean constantly or it looks horrible)

But once Marcelo gets sick? ALERT THE NEWS MEDIA!! MARCELO IS SICK!! He sleeps in bed all day, and asks for meals to be catered to him. I didn't see him offering to cater meals to me when I was sick! Nor did I see him volunteering to watch the baby so I could take a 8 hour nap during the day.

Seriously, what is it about guys that makes them so weak when they are sick? I might as well have a second child for all the good he is to me now.

Anyway, I'm sure all your husbands are this way. I 'm sure I don't hold the monopoly on whiny sick husbands.

The worst part about it? We agreed to volunteer in the nursery today for the permanent teachers. And now we can't do it. We need to find subs in the next 25 min. I'm thinking that won't happen, so we might have to send our kids to another class. We'll see.

Happy snotting!!

DISCLAIMER!! No matter what the picture says, we don't have swine flu. Just a general cold virus going around.

People let me tell you about my Best Friend

2009-12-26T10:12:00.002-07:00

I know you were all dying to see more pictures and videos of Evi and Raya. WELL YOU ARE IN LUCK!! Here you go.

Evi really does love Raya. Evi brings her all her favorite toys and clothes to her cage. You would not believe the stuff I have found in there. Toothbrushes and books. Even her prized rabbit was in there!! Now that's love. She also makes sure Raya gets all her leftovers. And if Raya doesn't want to eat it voluntarily, Evi has learned how to grab her mouth, lift the side of it and shove stuff in between her teeth. (mental note:get that on camera)

Anyway, one day Evi was on one. I don't know what was in her food, but she was acting seriously crazy. And this is what happened: peek-a-boo with Raya. Notice Evi's merriment at all Raya actions:

Look at Raya's face. She's in misery!! She's like "when will this be over??" But she puts up with it. She always does.

Here is some more abuse. Evi found this sticker and after pulling it off her arm over and over, she thought, "where else can I stick this?" Naturally the most logical choice was Raya's head:

Look at the gaze of pure torture on Raya's face. She's like "I know I'll get in trouble if I object. So, please don't push too hard on my head." Did I mention I have the best dog ever?

Here she is putting up with a few kisses, an off key song, and a tackle that results in a head banging.

Oh the tortures that this dog puts up with! She is a saint. I'm so happy they are best friends. I should get them matching BFF bracelets.

Cause that wouldn't be weird or anything.

Whipping Rabbit

2009-12-24T21:52:00.002-07:00

My first child loves this rabbit. It was given to me from someone at a shower. I can't remember who. I kept it around even though I never thought she would like stuffed animals. But she proved me wrong. Here is how I found her during nap time one day.

And here she is sharing dinner with him. "One for me. . . One for you". And I love how she makes sure he stays hydrated. That is applesauce she's got there, if you were wondering.

But my favorite activity she does with him is the "whipping" rabbit. Much like the book of the same name, Bibi often tries to make this rabbit take her punishments. Namely, her time outs. (She gets time outs for ripping ornaments off the tree). And so when I came around the corner, this is what I found:

(That's her time out corner, of course). I'm sure the rabbit deserved it, and he took his punishment well. What a good whipping rabbit.

I hope everyone is having a good Christmas season. Marcelo finally got his grades back from this semester, so he told me that his vacation has OFFICIALLY started now. So on this night before Christmas I'm going to sign off and watch White Christmas with my husband. Yes, he is willing to watch it with me. Wait till he gets to the dancing numbers. I'm not sure he'll be into it then.

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope Frank Lloyd Wright visited your house as well this season. He is so generous around the holidays.

Book Review: Naked

2009-12-12T21:27:00.000-07:00

Naked by David Sedaris

My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Dave Sedaris is hilarious. That's a given. However, this book has a lot more sex, (and specifically GAY sex) in it than his other books. Maybe more than all his others combined. There's just a lot about being gay, thinking gay, looking at other men, men coming on to him etc.

On the upside, I realized 2 Sedaris books ago that I can name all the 6 kids in his family: Lisa, Dave, Gretchen, Amy, Tiffany and The Rooster. Maybe I need to read something else.

Hmmm.

Holiday Panic

2009-12-12T15:02:00.005-07:00

I am in full panic mode. I haven't bought ANYTHING for anybody, and there are only like negative three days left before Christmas. (I'm kidding of course, there are actually 10 shopping days left.)

But there could be 110 days for all it means to me. I'm without transport for the next week or so. Marcelo has finals, and will be at school all day studying (Doesn't that sound awfully TAMN of me?) So I really don't know what I'm going to do.

Usually I get my inspiration while I shop. I see what is out there, and then that makes me think of other things to get other people, and it continues. I can get my shopping done quite quickly, but it involves me actually leaving the house.

I don't like shopping online, unless I'm specifically looking for something. I don't go online just to browse. It's overwhelming, distracting and too time consuming. Meaning I will waste all day looking at crap I don't really need. And instead of buying the presents I really wanted originally, I end up buying a DVD of Moulin Rouge. So I've learned to KISS. I log on, shop, and get off. Keep it simple, stupid.

But that's beyond the point now. I'm in full panic mode. Marcelo is so difficult to buy for! He's picky, and even if I get him something that he needs (like pants) I end up getting the wrong dye shade. It's really very horrible. But gift cards are like saying "I really don't know you. I'm very non-creative and I value our relationship at $15". Which is acceptable for the mail man. But not for spouses.

So, this is it. What do you think I should buy for the following people?
My Husband
My daughter
Myself
An un-named female family member that might read this blog and who I have for Secret Santa.
My mom.

Thank you for your help.

Say WHAT?

2009-12-02T14:30:00.001-07:00

I don't really watch commercials anymore. That's the blessing of a TiVo. However, Here are the most offensive ads that I have found recently:

Offensive #1) The Dolce & Gabbana commercial that does not just ALLUDE to a, um, threesome (between 1 girl and 2 guys) but shows quite a bit of TOUCHING, KISSING, RUBBING and general near humping. I get that D&G wants to be cool and awesome, but leave that kind of stuff for a Cosmo ad!! I don't need it right in the middle of SYTYCD.

I really don't think the commercial was in the middle of SYTYCD, but I can't remember where it was. Actually, maybe that's my problem. It was in the middle of a trashy show I watch. I need to stop watching E! Television. Moving on.

Offensive #2) The Schick "TrimStyle" Commercial. Have you seen these? They are not new. But the general idea of the commercial is that a woman walks by a little house plant, and magically the houseplant is "trimmed" in such a way to allude to the fact that this woman is sporting the same shape on her. . . um. . . .privates.

I think my jaw actually hit the ground when I saw this. I mean, it was SOOO brazen. It's like the woman walks by, the plant is WAIST HIGH, and then it's "trimmed". I don't want to be thinking about another woman trimming anything. Nor do I want to look at a woman and try to guess her private "shape". This is the actual ad:

Introducing Schick^® Quattro for Women^® TrimStyle^™

It's just the gadget a girl needs to stay perfectly groomed. Try new Quattro for Women® TrimStyle™, the first four-blade razor and waterproof bikini trimmer in one. Shave, trim and transform with just the flip of a handle.

Shave? Trim? TRANSFORM?!?! I'm not turning my nethers into Optimis Prime here. I don't want to transform, nor think about others' transformations either. Gross. Sorry, just. . . gross. Again, save it for Cosmo, Schick.

Offensive #3) Charmin. I KNOW this was during prime time. Like during SYTYCD. The ad says, Charmin has 2 plys to "Get the job done". I don't want to be thinking about big JOBS being laid down in the bathroom. I like to think that people go into the bathroom, and everything is fine. There is no JOB or WORK involved. That everything comes along swimmingly.

Let's just say that my family has enough SFTT's (originally BFTT's but Julie and I changed it this weekend) to make me know that not all times in the bathroom are good times. So I don't like to be reminded of that by some fat fluorescent pink bears swinging on trees. No more talk about bathroom "jobs". Thank you

What ads make you cringe? Please do tell.

Book Review: Born Round: The Secret History of a Full-Time Eater

2009-12-01T18:49:00.000-07:00

Born Round: The Secret History of a Full-Time Eater by Frank Bruni

My rating: 5 of 5 stars
The author of this book is the current food critic for the NY Times. However, he has had a long and difficult relationship with food. I loved this book, because I feel like I too have had a long and difficult relationship with food.

I saw so much of myself in him, in his writing, and in his feelings towards self image. There's a part about how he meets someone and they ask him out, and then he puts off the date for weeks because he always wants to lose a "few pounds" or fit into those one pair of jeans. Even though his friends tell him, "um didn't they already see you? They know what you look like!" And he has all these excuses like "well, the lighting was good" and "he probably was distracted" or things like that. It's hilarious, but so true.

See, people with real body issues see things that others don't yet they are blind to other things. They see the worst in themselves, think that everyone is looking at their love handles, and thinks that every comment is a comment about their weight. They notice the skinny people in the room, and notice the chubby ones too, and they rank themselves to where they fall in line in the "fatter or skinner than" race.

However, they are also delusional about their real size. They don't want to know their weight, and they wear tight-ill fitting clothing so that they don't have to go to the store to try to fit on the size they THINK they wear, only to have to go up 2 sizes to find the size they really wear. Or if they Do go to those stores, they go to Ross or TJ Maxx (or DI) so they won't spend too much money on clothes that they will inevitably hate. And they know their real size now! Why would they want to buy clothes? Might as well wear that one pair of pants over and over again until they get holes in the crotch and have to be thrown out. . . not like I know that from experience or anything.

They also don't want to stand on a scale. There's a hilarious story about when the author reaches his highest weight right after he was on the 2000 campaign trail with Bush and he goes to the Dr. and says "I don't want to know what my weight is. Just don't tell me" (this is something he had done for years, since adolescence actually) And after he steps off, the Dr looks at him and says, "you weigh 268 pounds". Just like that. HA HA HA!! Hilarious. And just what he needed.

Anyway, I thought this book would be about his life as a food critic. And while it does eventually get there, it's much more of a personal memoir about his struggle with his weight. And I mean a real struggle. Not those 5-10 vanity pounds that most people want to lose, but the 25, 75 or 100 pounds that you fight against, the binging and purging cycles, the laxatives that you take, the crazy diets that rule your life, and the inevitable fall into that bucket of KFC chicken. This book is for you. It will make you laugh and smile and then make you want to go to the gym and get your exercise on.

Well, it did for me, anyway.

Athletic Supporter

2009-11-23T11:34:00.006-07:00

I'm not a crazy fan of any sports team. I hate trash talk and I don't let a ruined tournament decide my mood for the day. Why would I base my self esteem on something I can't control? I think about those people who are trash talkers. You may be able to talk the biggest pile of trash, but what happens if someone breaks a leg? Then you look like an idiot for something you had nothing to do with. I try to keep my idiot occurrences down to the factory minimum. (To answer your question, that minimum is 3 a week. With an increase to 5 during the holidays/family reunions.)

That being said, certain sports are welcome around our house. Welcome on the TV and welcome in conversation. Here they are in no particular order:

Rugby: This is all me. I get very snotty when I'm at a BYU game and I hear blond girls around me say "What is going on. . .I don't get it . . Why do they lift him by his shorts? What is going on? Did we score? Who's side are we on? What is going on? . . .That one, #8, looks good doesn't he? Does anyone know what is going on?"

I've stopped explaining the game to them. It just annoys me. I get up and move to another part of the stands. Seriously, why are all those girls blond? But I love watching a good Rugby game. Marcelo and I have plans to one day visit Europe for like 2 weeks, and on the schedule is a Rugby game for me and a Futbol game for him. Which brings me to my next sport. . .

Futbol: DUH!! Being from South America, this is a given. However, the best thing is that Marcelo loves the English Premiere league while simultaneously rejects the Mexican league. How very racist of him. I think he, like me, has a secret crush on Ronoldo. Hmmm, Ronoldo

He says no, but I see the way his eyes glaze over as he views Ronaldo's little gelled spikes adorning his pixie face. Marcelo doesn't SAY he has a pixie face, but I can see that he's thinking it. Anyway, Futbol is awesome. And Real Salt Lake is the champion. SUCK IT BECKHAM! And finally

The Scripps National Spelling Bee: I got married the summer of 2004. Right in the middle of the summer Olympics from Greece. The day we arrive in San Diego Marcelo and I checked into the hotel and waited for my family to arrive. In order to avoid temptation, we turned on the TV where there was a replay of the spelling bee from back in May. We were sucked in. The Olympics may have been going on, but we were all about those 11 and 12 year old kids spelling words like pococurante and autochthonous. Man, those kids are genius. . .and a little socially awkward. Which in my book is a perfect combination for disaster or good television. I'm glad we got the latter.

And for any of you who don't think that the spelling bee is a sport, I'll ask you this. . .Why do they broadcast it on ESPN then? BOOO-yaaaa!!

And in case you are wondering, here are some sports that are almost never welcome around our house.

Basketball. Marcelo HATES basketball. I hate that one game can last hours. And that often the last 3 minutes can last 15 or 20 minutes. We are not basketball fans. I don't come down on any of you that are, we just aren't.

Football. Again, no judgment on anyone who loves and worships this sport. I mean, we have our own worship going on over here at the altar of futbol, so we are not one to talk. But I just hate the sport. I hate the endless substitutions, endless breaks, huddles and time outs. I mean, isn't it time to PLAY the game? 4 seconds of "action" and it's time to take another huddle break. Let's get something going here! It is NOT a thinking man's game. And Marcelo is disgusted at how someone can be 318 pounds and be considered an athlete. We do NOT like football around here.

Baseball. This is all Marcelo. I actually like going to live games. Games on TV can be a little slow, but games live are much better. Marcelo thinks that the game is "so boring" and doesn't even like to go to the stadiums. I bet he would go if he knew what delicious things they sold there.

So that's it. Basically, we are sports snobs. I hope I didn't offend anyone here. I mean, if you are a live-and-die football fan, maybe you should get a life. I KID!! I'm just kidding!! Ok, I'll shut up now and hit the showers. Because being an athletic supporter can get really sweaty!!

Favorite Song

2009-11-10T21:27:00.002-07:00

Do you know what my favorite song is? Of all time? "Under Pressure" by David Bowie and Freddie Mercury. You know, the song that Vanilla Ice stole and turned into the lamest song ever? I am of course referring to Ice Ice Baby.

Anyway, I love that song. I could listen to it over and over again.

And I hate Vanilla Ice for ruining it. My husband actually heard it and was like "Hey!! That song copied Ice Ice Baby!" Arrrgh (Actually, Marcelo calls the song "Ice Ice Skating." It's kinda cute)

What is your favorite song? The one that you can never tire of? The one that stands the test of time? The one that you crank in your car and makes you feel good?

Do tell

*Mental note to self, I should go Ice Ice Skating this winter.*

Opinions Needed

2009-11-07T12:23:00.008-07:00

So I have a question for all my bloggy readers out there. I'm in the need for a new set of headphones. I listen to my iPod about 5 hours in the day (almost always books) and so my headphones get used a lot. Evi destroyed my favorite pair on the way back from Ecuador, (like in the last 10 hours of the trip. It was SOOO annoying to listen in only one ear) and then Marcelo bought me a new set.

Which finally ate the dust Thursday. I think Evi had lots to do with their destruction. She pulls on them, wraps them around her arms, wraps up the dog in them and puts them in and out of the iPod herself. I hate not having earphones right now. However, I wasn't too disappointed about those specific earphones kaput because they hurt my ears. Let me show you a picture of those she just destroyed:

See, they hook over the ear, however, they have those little bud things that go in your ear. And those HURT me. Am I alone in this? Do they hurt your ears too? Much like the little buds that you get free WITH the iPod (shown in white here on the right)

I mean, maybe my ears are shaped weird, but they KILL my ears. They hurt when I put them in, and they hurt after just a few minutes in there. Usually I will just fight it out, but if I wear them for a long time, they will give me a headache. You may ask, "Why do you wear things that hurt? Why not just buy more?" Well, I'm poor, and resourceful, and well, let's not get into it now.

So here is a picture of the current headphones I am using:

UMMMM, LESS EFFECTIVE!! Seriously, people notice when you are wearing these walking down the street, And it's embarrassing. So I just wear them around the house, but that means that I can't listen to my iPod while out walking. Which is lots of the day (running errands around here, and such) and so I miss prime iPod time then. And it frustrates me.

So, back to my main question and reason for this post. I need your help. Has anyone tried the earphones that look like this?

They have little silicone soft parts on the tips so I think they might be nicer on my ears. However, I don't think I can buy them and try them out and then take them back if I don't like them. I look at earphones like underpants and bathing suits: You buy it and try it on, you got it for LIFE. I don't want to buy someone's ear bud they stuck in their nasty ears and then took back. YEACH!!

So I need opinions from my friends out there who have tried them. Are they comfortable? how far in do those little silicone parts go? Is the sound good? Have you exercised in them? Do they slip out if they get wet from your sweat? Will I like them at the gym? Are they worth the money? Also, are they pretty durable? Remember, I have a child that likes to pull on them and is a very good "earphone destroying" device.

If not, I think I'm just going to go with these:

These are the kind that I had for a while, the kind that I took to Ecuador before they went kaput. But maybe that's a bad sign.

Notice how they don't have those little ear buds that hurt my ears. Instead they have discs that SLIDE INTO the ears. No pain, all good music listening.

So that's it my friends. Can you help me with this? I really am in desperate need. Otherwise I'm going to have to go around town with those big headphones and look like the kid who sits in back of the class and eats paste.

Hmmmm, PASTE.

The Halloween Post

2009-11-04T15:45:00.000-07:00

If you have a child, when they hand you your child at the hospital, they say "Now, you must do blog posts about Halloween. If you don't, we will find out and come GET this child and give her to a family that knows how to use a camera, and will properly document her holidays."

So, I 'm obliged to do this post. Sorry if you don't want to read it.

Last year Evi's was a pig. Or should I call her a "piglet"? I still have the ears I made. I might use them on another child years down the road. But this year my mom found a great costume at a garage sale. And she knows that I like the color green and I like to dress my girl like a boy. Let's all admit it. I do. So she sent it to her, and my kid is AWESOME looking.

Here she is at the Halloween Party our ward had Wednesday night. She really didn't care about trick or treating. She just wanted to eat her popcorn and wander the halls. My child is SO super anti-social. There were about 50 kids there all her age! And she didn't want anything to do with them. She kept walking away from them and walking into the foyer so she could sit and enjoy her sucker in peace.

Here are some pictures of her avoiding kids and eating her sucker in peace. Oh, she was a Kimono Dragon for Halloween.

Seriously anti-social, right? Is that inherited?

Ok, and as an added bonus, here is her using her very effective non-verbal skills to tell me what she wants.

I'm teaching her bad habits, obviously. But pumpkin ice cream is SOOOOO good.

Book Review: The Men who Stare at Goats

2009-11-04T15:01:00.001-07:00

The Men Who Stare at Goats by Jon Ronson

My rating: 4 of 5 stars
I saw the author on Colbert and thought that the book looked good. So I put in on my list of books to read. And I then I saw an ad for a movie based on the book!! And the movie trailer looked really funny too. So I though, "this is going to be a great book! The ads look funny! The book will be funny too!"

No, this book is not funny. This book is about torture. It may start off somewhat lighthearted, but the true moral of the story is that torture has a long history in the U.S. Military and that history is not pretty. While some ideas (like staring at goats to make them collapse) may seem fantastical, so were other ideas like subliminal messages or foam that can be sprayed to immobilize combatants. Those were once crazy ideas, but have been/are being used.

The author tells a story about how the Barney song "I love you" was used to torture while played over and over for 15 hours, and of course the jokes always were "well, any parent of a 3 year old will affirm that they will do ANYTHING to make that song stop". And it seems to say that the author is kind of upset that torture is being brushed aside, being joked about on the The View, that Al Roker is saying "I've been tortured with that song myself".

Which is understandable. However, it almost seems that the author is a hypocrite. Because he starts off his book about a VERY serious subject, with a story about men making goats collapse, and then making a hamster go catatonic and then hate his wheel. It almost seems like he is doing the same thing: He's using a silly story to talk about torture.

That being said, I really liked this book. I really did. I felt that it was so informative and sad and shocking all together. I don't know about the movie though. I wonder if they will go the silly "goats falling over" route, or the more "the CIA killed my father and covered it up because he was torturing people for them" route. Hmmm. I guess I'll wait for Eric D. Snider to see it for me and tell me what he thinks.